Harvey Weinstein

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Discussion

superlightr

12,856 posts

264 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Colonial said:
superlightr said:
Disgraceful, pathetic, worse,......

so if someone doesn't have the same level of empathy or compassion what are you going to do?
make it a crime not to show empathy, lock them up?
be outraged that someone else is not as outraged as you?
Or maybe just shut up? You don't need to make everything about you.
like ?????


you are welcome to feel outrage, show empathy and compassion.
Others may not feel the same way because they are not connected or are simply not wired that way - doesn't mean they are psychopaths or wrong because they are not as outraged as you are and equally doesn't mean you should feel offended because others don't "feel" the same way as you.

I'm not belittling sexual assault.


Edited by superlightr on Monday 16th October 12:23


Edited by superlightr on Monday 16th October 12:24

Colonial

13,553 posts

206 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
superlightr said:
like ?????
I've lived the mightmare. It is a topic of intense personal interest.

The worst part wasn't the abuse. It was minor in the scheme of things and therapy helps. It was the lack of support and the excuses being made by people that should have been there. And being blamed. That hurts. That really hurts

Eric Mc

122,053 posts

266 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
This has cropped up before. It does seem that some people seem only to have the emotional capacity to empathise with people they know.

Luckily, there are plenty of people in the world who can actually empathise with total strangers - otherwise not much good would be done in life. Think of all those charities that do such good work.

superlightr

12,856 posts

264 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Colonial said:
superlightr said:
like ?????
I've lived the mightmare. It is a topic of intense personal interest.

The worst part wasn't the abuse. It was minor in the scheme of things and therapy helps. It was the lack of support and the excuses being made by people that should have been there. And being blamed. That hurts. That really gur5ts
I can understand the feelings of being wronged and injustice. Ive not experienced abuse so cannot relate to that side but from what others (and you) have posted it sounds terrible and further compounded by being blamed I would imagine. I'm completely for justice and due process & calling out when this happens - I just have issues with name calling others as physcopaths (which you did not do btw) who perhaps don't openly show their views when it can be a normal view not to hold compassion or a strong view either way.


I think with the topic - perhaps posters are having trouble understanding and giving compassion when it does not appear clear cut as to the abuse that may have occurred or arguable if it was abuse. Some will see it 100% as abuse others will have different levels of the same and some none at all. Hence why its for a court to decide on law and facts, the whys and why nots of the timings and not disclosing/calling out at the time if genuine.


Edited by superlightr on Monday 16th October 12:44


Edited by superlightr on Monday 16th October 12:46

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

234 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
John145 said:
No, there are only 2 groups of people.

1. Treats all people on their merits.
2. Uses their position for sexual gratification.

It is the men that are the morally bankrupt ones in this "transaction" of yours.
Wrong.


superlightr

12,856 posts

264 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
This has cropped up before. It does seem that some people seem only to have the emotional capacity to empathise with people they know.

Luckily, there are plenty of people in the world who can actually empathise with total strangers - otherwise not much good would be done in life. Think of all those charities that do such good work.
I think that is correct. I would also hazard a guess that most of those working in charities have direct experience of whatever that charity is helping with.

Cold

15,250 posts

91 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
There is more than one type of empathy. Cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathy are three. Just because you're not wailing and self-flagellating at the thought of someone you don't know being attacked there's no reason for others to haul out the psychopath label or condemn them as being "part of the problem".

Not-The-Messiah

3,620 posts

82 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
superlightr said:
Colonial said:
superlightr said:
Disgraceful, pathetic, worse,......

so if someone doesn't have the same level of empathy or compassion what are you going to do?
make it a crime not to show empathy, lock them up?
be outraged that someone else is not as outraged as you?
Or maybe just shut up? You don't need to make everything about you.
like ?????


you are welcome to feel outrage, show empathy and compassion.
Others may not feel the same way because they are not connected or are simply not wired that way - doesn't mean they are psychopaths or wrong because they are not as outraged as you are and equally doesn't mean you should feel offended because others don't "feel" the same way as you.

I'm not belittling sexual assault.


Edited by superlightr on Monday 16th October 12:23


Edited by superlightr on Monday 16th October 12:24
This^ you could argue things would be better if everyone had a high level of empathy. But they don't and never will do.
Some people are psychopaths but many do have empathy and emotional responses but choose not to show them. Being a old school bloke type it's the sort of background I grew up in.
For example many people have empathy for animals but some people are happy slitting the throat of them all day long, people are just different.

Digga

40,349 posts

284 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
superlightr said:
Eric Mc said:
This has cropped up before. It does seem that some people seem only to have the emotional capacity to empathise with people they know.

Luckily, there are plenty of people in the world who can actually empathise with total strangers - otherwise not much good would be done in life. Think of all those charities that do such good work.
I think that is correct. I would also hazard a guess that most of those working in charities have direct experience of whatever that charity is helping with.
My empathy is, in part vicarious; through experiences of my mother, who's done some pro-bono work in women's refuges and my mate who's in the police. Clearly, neither has ever discussed specifics, but the generalities are sufficient for any intelligent person to find some sympathy. However, I think having empathy, in general, is something you either have or do not.

Eric Mc

122,053 posts

266 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
superlightr said:
I think that is correct. I would also hazard a guess that most of those working in charities have direct experience of whatever that charity is helping with.
I wouldn't go so far. Some would - some wouldn't. It depends on the type of charity I would expect. But there are genuinely a lot of really good and nice people out there - thank goodness.

Eric Mc

122,053 posts

266 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Not-The-Messiah said:
This^ you could argue things would be better if everyone had a high level of empathy. But they don't and never will do.
Some people are psychopaths but many do have empathy and emotional responses but choose not to show them. Being a old school bloke type it's the sort of background I grew up in.
For example many people have empathy for animals but some people are happy slitting the throat of them all day long, people are just different.
We aren't talking about people "choosing not to show their feelings". I have no problem with that. There is no compulsion to state how bad you feel about a situation.

I was referring to those who seem to posses a need to actively castigate the victims and blame them for the bad things that have happened top them. That is not "curtailing their feelings",. It is in fact, the opposite i.e. demonstrating different types of feelings - and not very nice ones at that.

Zod

35,295 posts

259 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
BlackLabel said:
The Independent has a solution to this problem.



https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk...
That’s like the KKK telling black people they have the policies that will improve their lot.

Digga

40,349 posts

284 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Zod said:
BlackLabel said:
The Independent has a solution to this problem.



https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk...
That’s like the KKK telling black people they have the policies that will improve their lot.
Quite. The words Rotherham, Rochdale, Keighley, Oxford, Peterborough, Telford..... etc. etc. clearly don't spring to mind.

Gecko1978

9,726 posts

158 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
There are two distinct questions here.

1) who did HW assault etc when and how can he be prosecuted for this.

2) Who went along with his request in return for career advancement.

Question 1 is important as it will send a message to others they are not safe and this is not acceptable

Question 2 will allow the wider world to more clearly see who is making hay out of these events when in reality they accepted it was part of the job.

Victims need a voice but so do we need to be clear who might just take the moral high ground now but were happy to profit from the situation eh your not a great actress but you made HW feel all warm an fuzzy so you got a good role maybe an Oscar down the line. An you then kept quiet till now about this. You say its abhorent but at the time you were more than happy to get ahead.

Eric Mc

122,053 posts

266 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Gecko1978 said:
There are two distinct questions here.

1) who did HW assault etc when and how can he be prosecuted for this.

2) Who went along with his request in return for career advancement.

Question 1 is important as it will send a message to others they are not safe and this is not acceptable

Question 2 will allow the wider world to more clearly see who is making hay out of these events when in reality they accepted it was part of the job.

Victims need a voice but so do we need to be clear who might just take the moral high ground now but were happy to profit from the situation eh your not a great actress but you made HW feel all warm an fuzzy so you got a good role maybe an Oscar down the line. An you then kept quiet till now about this. You say its abhorent but at the time you were more than happy to get ahead.
The problem with your Point 2 is the assumption that "going along with something" seems to excuse his behaviour and not take into account the fact that he was abusing his position.

Even if someone, in the end, benefits from an abuse they suffered, that does not mean it wasn't abuse.

rover 623gsi

5,230 posts

162 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
The problem with your Point 2 is the assumption that "going along with something" seems to excuse his behaviour and not take into account the fact that he was abusing his position.

Even if someone, in the end, benefits from an abuse they suffered, that does not mean it wasn't abuse.
Indeed. Sadly, some people are just desperate to make victims suffer twice.

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

153 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
rover 623gsi said:
Eric Mc said:
The problem with your Point 2 is the assumption that "going along with something" seems to excuse his behaviour and not take into account the fact that he was abusing his position.

Even if someone, in the end, benefits from an abuse they suffered, that does not mean it wasn't abuse.
Indeed. Sadly, some people are just desperate to make victims suffer twice.
I agree - it's very easy to assume it was a cold calculated decision.

There's so many questions though. Define 'went along with' - did they feel they'd have a choice, what did he say he'd do if they didn't, what position were these women in at the time in terms of being able to walk away - these are all things we don't know. Can't possibly know - but are still relevant

When you aren't in the situation it's always easy to say what you would have done...

These issues are seldom simple.

The temptation is strong to treat them that way as it makes sense of what is arguably senseless and our minds will always want to makes sense of it.

Just a suggestion.

hyphen

26,262 posts

91 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
Gecko1978 said:
There are two distinct questions here.

1) who did HW assault etc when and how can he be prosecuted for this.

2) Who went along with his request in return for career advancement.

Question 1 is important as it will send a message to others they are not safe and this is not acceptable

Question 2 will allow the wider world to more clearly see who is making hay out of these events when in reality they accepted it was part of the job.

Victims need a voice but so do we need to be clear who might just take the moral high ground now but were happy to profit from the situation eh your not a great actress but you made HW feel all warm an fuzzy so you got a good role maybe an Oscar down the line. An you then kept quiet till now about this. You say its abhorent but at the time you were more than happy to get ahead.
The problem with your Point 2 is the assumption that "going along with something" seems to excuse his behaviour and not take into account the fact that he was abusing his position.

Even if someone, in the end, benefits from an abuse they suffered, that does not mean it wasn't abuse.
In one of the tales, an Italian model claims she was staying on a Yacht and Weinstein was fellow guest, he made a move and she said no. Then to prove how powerful he was he made a call to Nicole Kidman late at night and summoned her over, They then disappeared for a bit.

Why would she turn up? She is ultra famous and he couldn't destroy her career, there would always be good parts for her. He could only assist her.

So either Kidman didn't know about Weinstein, or she played the game. Her most recent Oscar nomination came in a Weinstein production.

Samantha Panagrosso said:
Ms Panagrosso said that previously Weinstein had tried to force himself on her in the pool at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc and boasted he could easily ‘get what he wanted’ from another model who was also there. That model later went to his room for a ‘screen test’, Ms Panagrosso claimed.

She said Weinstein later ‘named several A-list actresses he claimed had willingly slept with him’. ‘I told him I didn’t believe him, so he said “OK, I’ll prove it”, took out his phone and called Nicole Kidman,’ she revealed.

‘It was late at night, but he asked her to come to the boat, and she did. They walked off by themselves and when they returned, he told me they’d kissed.
Edited by hyphen on Monday 16th October 15:15

Eric Mc

122,053 posts

266 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Interesting tax case being reported today regarding how one party can control another.

HMRC levied massive penalties, interest and back taxes amounting to almost £200,000 on a woman over incorrect returns, false expense claims, late tax payments etc etc. It turned out that her partner was completing all the returns and dictating what figures were included in them. All she did was sign them off.

HMRC lost the case because the court adjudged they should have penalised the partner, not the woman.

These cases seem to be completely illogical - and that is true, they are. But logic and sense don't come into it when you are in the power of a control freak.

John145

2,449 posts

157 months

Monday 16th October 2017
quotequote all
Can we get some relativism here?

In my job I choose the suppliers and individuals I work with and these contracts can be worth initially well into 5 figures with ongoing productionisation going into many millions.

If I allowed a supplier to influence my decision through sexual acts it is me at fault, me abusing my position and me who would be morally bankrupt as a married man.

It's amazing that people are looking at the effects of a person abusing their position as a justification for the abuse.

Cause and effect. Please try and understand how it works here.