Middle aged virgins

[Dr Jekyll]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-44143003

Some extraordinary stories of middle aged people who apparently have never had sex. Not very little, not have gone without for years on end, absolutely never. I feel for the guy who resorted to a prostitute only for her to turn him down.

[phil1979]

For a minute there I thought Pistonheads had changed its name!

[Davie_GLA]

phil1979 said:

For a minute there I thought Pistonheads had changed its name!

Bravo!!

[Ali G]

Dear Deirdre,

I need to have a contract drawn up which provides indemnity against any false accusations la femme fatale may have in store, and all other wimmin.

Yours truly,

The Weaker Sex.

[ezi]

phil1979 said:

For a minute there I thought Pistonheads had changed its name!

[Randy Winkman]

ezi said:

phil1979 said:

For a minute there I thought Pistonheads had changed its name!

[Ari]

phil1979 said:

For a minute there I thought Pistonheads had changed its name!

[toohuge]

It's a piece that sparked a lot of thinking for me....

I have a somewhat troubled sexual history and the societal pressure on 'having sex' is huge. I feel for those telling stories of a lack of intimate relationships - simply because it is difficult to determine whether it is a case of lack of opportunity or whether, deep down, these individuals are more asexual / demisexual yet are not aware / feel the need to suppress their feelings for fear of being different.

It really is a strange one - I personally do not have any sexual desire - it's simply been that way for my whole life - and was one of the reasons for my marriage breakdown.

The confused feelings, along with other contributing factors can create a very distorted view on intimate relationships as these are driven by calculated thought processes, rather than instinct

I sincerely hope that those that are struggling with their feelings and thoughts of inadequacy manage to make peace in their minds and not allow the lack of sex to control their lives.

[Ali G]

The corollary being those that have had their lives (and others lives) fecked by coitus.

[Digger]

toohuge said:

It's a piece that sparked a lot of thinking for me....

I have a somewhat troubled sexual history and the societal pressure on 'having sex' is huge. I feel for those telling stories of a lack of intimate relationships - simply because it is difficult to determine whether it is a case of lack of opportunity or whether, deep down, these individuals are more asexual / demisexual yet are not aware / feel the need to suppress their feelings for fear of being different.

It really is a strange one - I personally do not have any sexual desire - it's simply been that way for my whole life - and was one of the reasons for my marriage breakdown.

The confused feelings, along with other contributing factors can create a very distorted view on intimate relationships as these are driven by calculated thought processes, rather than instinct

I sincerely hope that those that are struggling with their feelings and thoughts of inadequacy manage to make peace in their minds and not allow the lack of sex to control their lives.

You steered that very nicely away from your profile name. No one likes a boaster. Bravo.

[Ari]

toohuge said:

It's a piece that sparked a lot of thinking for me....

I have a somewhat troubled sexual history and the societal pressure on 'having sex' is huge. I feel for those telling stories of a lack of intimate relationships - simply because it is difficult to determine whether it is a case of lack of opportunity or whether, deep down, these individuals are more asexual / demisexual yet are not aware / feel the need to suppress their feelings for fear of being different.

It really is a strange one - I personally do not have any sexual desire - it's simply been that way for my whole life - and was one of the reasons for my marriage breakdown.

The confused feelings, along with other contributing factors can create a very distorted view on intimate relationships as these are driven by calculated thought processes, rather than instinct

I sincerely hope that those that are struggling with their feelings and thoughts of inadequacy manage to make peace in their minds and not allow the lack of sex to control their lives.

That's interesting. I do know someone (a lady, mid forties) who (I think!) is like that, certainly never been any evidence of any kind of relationship, but I don't know here well enough to discuss it with her.

Do you think that maybe there is someone out there somewhere who, in the right circumstances could spark your interest, or do you feel that it's simply not there to be sparked?

[gregs656]

A friend of mine is heading into this territory. He's in his late 20s and has never come close to having a relationship, or even just meaningless sex or anything really.

In our friendship group we all know but he never brings it up so nor do we.

I sometimes wonder if he is gay and hides it all away but there is no obvious reason why he would do that as none of us would care.

I dunno. I do feel for him as I can't help but think the longer he leaves it the more it will impact his life.

Perhaps he is just not interested at all.

[Clockwork Cupcake]

Quite apart from social awkwardness, some people simply have a very low libido and/or are asexual.

It's certainly true that there is enormous societal pressure on people to have sex, and the corollary that there must be something wrong with someone who is not sexually active.

[esxste]

gregs656 said:

A friend of mine is heading into this territory. He's in his late 20s and has never come close to having a relationship, or even just meaningless sex or anything really.

In our friendship group we all know but he never brings it up so nor do we.

I sometimes wonder if he is gay and hides it all away but there is no obvious reason why he would do that as none of us would care.

I dunno. I do feel for him as I can't help but think the longer he leaves it the more it will impact his life.

Perhaps he is just not interested at all.

You should bring it up in a private chat. Maybe he's asexual and happy. Maybe he's a closet gay and leading some double life banging dudes off grindr. Maybe he just doesn't know how to talk to girls. Maybe he's so scared of public humilation he's not even willing to try.

[The Dangerous Elk]

maybe the internet is cheaper ?

[esxste]

The Dangerous Elk said:

maybe the internet is cheaper ?

Maybe, but even the tightest of scrooges can surely fork out for one date.

Or simply be a modern man, and insist on 50/50

[Ali G]

Perhaps the modern man has so much fun that being weighed down by all of that ste gets in the way of the actual fun.

[Rich_W]

Article said:

With the rise of the Me Too and Incel movements I have become even more fearful of trying to look for a partner should I be seen as violating someone's personal space

site said:

I felt women had the right to go about everyday life and enjoy a night out without having anyone approach them.

You can blame the Feminazis / Misandrists for that mindset. (not Feminists btw) And possibly the more high profile false Rape allegations.

"All men are bds/rapists/creeps"

Its why we've seen the rise in MGTOW etc. It's indirectly wired to the lower birth rates, and more people living alone in Western society.

I suspect there's also a link to Online Dating in there. If you are a more sensitive, not so confident guy. Being rejected everytime you write a message to a girl (invariably because lots of ladies on Tinder/POF/Match are Unicorn hunters) just reinforces the idea that they are not worthy.

It's a sad situation for the people concerned. But I'm not sure how you can help them.

[The Dangerous Elk]

and the increase in cat ownership

[toohuge]

Ari said:

That's interesting. I do know someone (a lady, mid forties) who (I think!) is like that, certainly never been any evidence of any kind of relationship, but I don't know here well enough to discuss it with her.

Do you think that maybe there is someone out there somewhere who, in the right circumstances could spark your interest, or do you feel that it's simply not there to be sparked?

That’s a tough on Ari - I think it’s a case of something missing to be sparked - rather than a compatibility issue. Even when I was in relationships before, in love, it was never a priority on my agenda.

I think the best way to try and describe it would be, if offered the option of spending the day in bed, enjoying unspeakable activities or going out hiking/ any other organized activity - I’d never opt for staying in the bedroom.

The concept of ‘romance’ simply isn’t there.

It’s a little sad at times I admit. In the relationships I’ve been in - I’ve always wanted to take someone out on a romantic date etc. but just don’t seem to have that connection in me. It works two ways though - it means you don’t pick up on romantic actions towards yiu either which is a shame.