8.2 Milion living alone

[Pan Pan Pan]

Nickgnome said:

Perhaps you might explain why in desperately poor countries, which offer at best, a bleak, flyblown, permanently hunger, and disease stricken prospect less existence, that people still bring thousands of children into the world. It cannot be for survival, because the more mouths that need to be fed, the less the chance of survival for those who are already existent. What is it that drives people in those situations to do what they do? Having children without regard to what happens to them once they are here, does not necessarily guarantee survival, if anything the opposite..
Incidentally it is precisely because of the PBD, that contraception, sterilization and abortion has all come about.

Edited by Pan Pan Pan on Monday 18th November 17:25

People in poor countries have no or very limited access to contraception.

When they do the birth rates drops dramatically.

Just because you chose a life of being single does not mean that those that like to be in relationships have an uncontrollable desire to procreate. Our birth rate evidences this quite well.

That is not remotely similar to having an enthusiastic sexual appetite at any age.

So what causes that enthusiastic sexual appetite at any age? Is logical thought involved, or is it just done on instinct or by rote, where does the `instinct' come from?

[Nickgnome]

Nickgnome said:

Pan Pan Pan said:

Nickgnome said:

Perhaps you might explain why in desperately poor countries, which offer at best, a bleak, flyblown, permanently hunger, and disease stricken prospect less existence, that people still bring thousands of children into the world. It cannot be for survival, because the more mouths that need to be fed, the less the chance of survival for those who are already existent. What is it that drives people in those situations to do what they do? Having children without regard to what happens to them once they are here, does not necessarily guarantee survival

Even if people in those countries don't have access to contraception, are you suggesting they do not actually know what they are doing when they have sex/children?
What explains their doing this, when most must know the chances of survival for their children are at best limited, and at worst limit the chances of their own survival are seriously reduced.
What drives them to have children in these circumstances, do you believe it is rational thought, or perhaps is something much more powerful, and basic at work?

When the women have been interviewed in those poor countries they have stated they do not want big families. It can’t be much more straightforward than that. Contraception and birth rate falls.

I’ve no idea why you want to see it differently. If it wasn’t for religious pressures and immigration the UK would have a major age demographic problem.

Edited by Nickgnome on Monday 18th November 18:08

[Pan Pan Pan]

Cold said:

You'll never be lonely or alone inside PH. There will always be someone who will argue with you about something utterly inconsequential and irrelevant.


(First person to say "No there isn't" gets to live with Greta's parents)

Yup! that`s the unique beauty and fun of PH

[Pan Pan Pan]

Nickgnome said:

Nickgnome said:

Pan Pan Pan said:

Nickgnome said:

Perhaps you might explain why in desperately poor countries, which offer at best, a bleak, flyblown, permanently hunger, and disease stricken prospect less existence, that people still bring thousands of children into the world. It cannot be for survival, because the more mouths that need to be fed, the less the chance of survival for those who are already existent. What is it that drives people in those situations to do what they do? Having children without regard to what happens to them once they are here, does not necessarily guarantee survival

Even if people in those countries don't have access to contraception, are you suggesting they do not actually know what they are doing when they have sex/children?
What explains their doing this, when most must know the chances of survival for their children are at best limited, and at worst limit the chances of their own survival are seriously reduced.
What drives them to have children in these circumstances, do you believe it is rational thought, or perhaps is something much more powerful, and basic at work?

When the women have been interviewed in those poor countries they have stated they do not want big families. It can’t be much more straightforward than that. Contraception and birth rate falls.

I’ve no idea why you want to see it differently. If it wasn’t for religious pressures and immigration the UK would have a major age demographic problem.

Edited by Nickgnome on Monday 18th November 18:08

But you have not answered the question, If they don't want big families why then, do they still have them, and bring them into appalling conditions, what is it that drives or causes this to happen? It surely cannot be rational thought, so what is it?.

[pequod]

Nickgnome said:

Perhaps you might explain why in desperately poor countries, which offer at best, a bleak, flyblown, permanently hunger, and disease stricken prospect less existence, that people still bring thousands of children into the world. It cannot be for survival, because the more mouths that need to be fed, the less the chance of survival for those who are already existent. What is it that drives people in those situations to do what they do? Having children without regard to what happens to them once they are here, does not necessarily guarantee survival, if anything the opposite..
Incidentally it is precisely because of the PBD, that contraception, sterilization and abortion has all come about.

I'm disappointed that you have this understanding of how the vast majority of mankind lives and the reason why they have multiple births.

Didn't you learn anything from school about Victorian Britain?

Unless you are being obtuse, of course?

PS. why doesn't a catamaran sail faster than 9.6 kts on a broad reach in 25kts of wind?

[gregs656]

Pan Pan Pan said:

I think you need to go away and read up on procreation, and what drives it, Then come back and give your interpretation.

I think if you stopped advancing your flawed interpretation as a fact we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

Sex is fun, that is what drives procreation. When women gain control of their fertility, birthrates drop.

[Nickgnome]

pequod said:

Nickgnome said:

Perhaps you might explain why in desperately poor countries, which offer at best, a bleak, flyblown, permanently hunger, and disease stricken prospect less existence, that people still bring thousands of children into the world. It cannot be for survival, because the more mouths that need to be fed, the less the chance of survival for those who are already existent. What is it that drives people in those situations to do what they do? Having children without regard to what happens to them once they are here, does not necessarily guarantee survival, if anything the opposite..
Incidentally it is precisely because of the PBD, that contraception, sterilization and abortion has all come about.

I'm disappointed that you have this understanding of how the vast majority of mankind lives and the reason why they have multiple births.

Didn't you learn anything from school about Victorian Britain?

Unless you are being obtuse, of course?

PS. why doesn't a catamaran sail faster than 9.6 kts on a broad reach in 25kts of wind?

I dint post the first para. That is Pan pan playing silly buggers. Go back to my post 1705 and you will see.



Cruising cats are very heavy and probably well reefed as well.

A displacement monohull HR of similar size would be about the same speed.

Now a class 40, different kettle of fish. A mate and his wife have just bought one.

Edited by Nickgnome on Monday 18th November 18:44

[Nickgnome]

gregs656 said:

Pan Pan Pan said:

I think you need to go away and read up on procreation, and what drives it, Then come back and give your interpretation.

I think if you stopped advancing your flawed interpretation as a fact we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

Sex is fun, that is what drives procreation. When women gain control of their fertility, birthrates drop.

Yes Pan Pan chooses to ignore this. He also chooses to ignore the views of women from some of those poorer nations and who have no access to contraception. They do not want big families but in a male dominated society they have little alternative.

[towser44]

I live alone having separated from partner and daughter lives with her over 2 years ago. Hate it to be honest, especially working from home as it is easy to go days without seeing anyone, but c'est la vie.

[anonymous-user]

gregs656 said:

Pan Pan Pan said:

I think you need to go away and read up on procreation, and what drives it, Then come back and give your interpretation.

I think if you stopped advancing your flawed interpretation as a fact we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

Sex is fun, that is what drives procreation. When women gain control of their fertility, birthrates drop.

True.

When men gain control of their fertility (male pill), birthrates will drop even more. Not by anywhere near as much as when females could obtain birth control, but they will still drop again.

[bigandclever]

Pan Pan Pan said:

possibly even the current pm are alledged to have produced a number of children with several different mothers, (Wonder what their directive was?).

I mean, BoJo hasgot 5 kids with 2 different mothers. There’s no “alledged” (sp), well, apart from the 6th with a 3rd that the world knows exists but he doesn’t have the balls, ironically, to recognise.

[johnwilliams77]

This thread started with lots of interesting views and perspectives of marriage / partnership / mental health and living alone ....more of that please!

[croyde]

In a month I will move into a 1 bedroom flat in SW London. The rent will cripple me financially but to be alone and be able to get home from work with no noise, no arguments from ex wife, no having to see the alcoholism first hand and just to be able to cook a meal and sit and watch telly quietly on a yet to be bought sofa.........I can't wait.

Wife and I split (her idea) in 2009 but finances wouldn't allow separate living.

Once I had the money to move she got breast cancer, so I felt I couldn't move away as we have 3 kids that needed their dad.

In 2014 I moved to a flat nearby, big mistake as I was forever called back to house to sort disputes with kids, her drinking, problems with her now ex boyfriend.

It got so bad that I went to a very dark place. I called the Samaritans who put me in touch with a counsellor.

Part of her advice was that I needed to do stuff for me.

So I moved to a lovely place in the country. I was happy, I met someone, I had my kids as much as possible but things were falling apart back at the house so after 2 years I moved to a flat back in London nearby. It made me miserable, I hated being back in London plus it was costing me a fortune, and costing me my relationship.

In the end I was dumped and ran out of money. My ex wife offered me a room in the house but I said I couldn't live with a drunk.

She promised me that she'd stop.

I felt that I was doing the right thing, I certainly didn't want to move back but if it meant she would stop drinking, the sacrifice would be worth it.

It's been 14 months of hell. I have been so close to the brink so many times. Imagine dreading coming back to your home every single night. I'm actually happy when work over runs and I have to stay late. She didn't stop drinking. Drunks always lie, I know that now.

So I'm finally moving out, funny thing, oh she's drunk again, she's just compared me to her dad, who ran away when she was 14 and now lives in Thailand.

If I was running away, I'd do the same, well maybe Cornwall not SE Asia, but no, I have spent a good while trying to find a place that the boys can stay with me and still get to their school.

This last month is going to go sooooo slowly.

[csd19]

Pan Pan Pan said:

Cold said:

You'll never be lonely or alone inside PH. There will always be someone who will argue with you about something utterly inconsequential and irrelevant.


(First person to say "No there isn't" gets to live with Greta's parents)

Yup! that`s the unique beauty and fun of PH

It's like being able to dip in for a slice of married life, don't get much sex on PH either

[av185]

croyde said:

In a month I will move into a 1 bedroom flat in SW London. The rent will cripple me financially but to be alone and be able to get home from work with no noise, no arguments from ex wife, no having to see the alcoholism first hand and just to be able to cook a meal and sit and watch telly quietly on a yet to be bought sofa.........I can't wait.

Wife and I split (her idea) in 2009 but finances wouldn't allow separate living.

Once I had the money to move she got breast cancer, so I felt I couldn't move away as we have 3 kids that needed their dad.

In 2014 I moved to a flat nearby, big mistake as I was forever called back to house to sort disputes with kids, her drinking, problems with her now ex boyfriend.

It got so bad that I went to a very dark place. I called the Samaritans who put me in touch with a counsellor.

Part of her advice was that I needed to do stuff for me.

So I moved to a lovely place in the country. I was happy, I met someone, I had my kids as much as possible but things were falling apart back at the house so after 2 years I moved to a flat back in London nearby. It made me miserable, I hated being back in London plus it was costing me a fortune, and costing me my relationship.

In the end I was dumped and ran out of money. My ex wife offered me a room in the house but I said I couldn't live with a drunk.

She promised me that she'd stop.

I felt that I was doing the right thing, I certainly didn't want to move back but if it meant she would stop drinking, the sacrifice would be worth it.

It's been 14 months of hell. I have been so close to the brink so many times. Imagine dreading coming back to your home every single night. I'm actually happy when work over runs and I have to stay late. She didn't stop drinking. Drunks always lie, I know that now.

So I'm finally moving out, funny thing, oh she's drunk again, she's just compared me to her dad, who ran away when she was 14 and now lives in Thailand.

If I was running away, I'd do the same, well maybe Cornwall not SE Asia, but no, I have spent a good while trying to find a place that the boys can stay with me and still get to their school.

This last month is going to go sooooo slowly.

This is the kind of honest true to life post which we should be encouraging.

Wish you all the best.

[croyde]

av185 said:

This is the kind of honest true to life post which we should be encouraging.

Wish you all the best.

Thanks, that's kind.

[Crafty_]

Croyde, after reading that I can't imagine anyone could possibly tell you living alone is "wrong".

It sounds like you've been very selfless for far too long, enjoy the new flat!

[robm3]

Wow, timely post.
This weekend I move out of my family home for a 3 bedroom flat nearby (I've two kids 12 & 14 so they get their own rooms).

Wife and I have had a rough year as I had an affair (brief but enough damage done), we tried to work it out, family holidays, dates, time together etc.. but sadly the lack of trust is a massive issue, Sword of Damocles kind of stuff.

She asked me to leave a week ago, is now wavering, but we're doing it nonetheless. It feels weird but, her and kids are helping me move...I'm figuring if the children see us working together, they'll not feel so bad about it.

I'm hoping we can date and try to rekindle the flame as well as I do love her to bits (and bloody appreciate her now!).
But hey, who knows what happens.

One things for sure, I'm not looking forward to it!

(probably be on PH a lot more again now)

[Sheets Tabuer]

croyde said:

Stuff

I remember your posts on this before, what a bloody top bloke you are.

[johnwilliams77]

robm3 said:

Wow, timely post.
This weekend I move out of my family home for a 3 bedroom flat nearby (I've two kids 12 & 14 so they get their own rooms).

Wife and I have had a rough year as I had an affair (brief but enough damage done), we tried to work it out, family holidays, dates, time together etc.. but sadly the lack of trust is a massive issue, Sword of Damocles kind of stuff.

She asked me to leave a week ago, is now wavering, but we're doing it nonetheless. It feels weird but, her and kids are helping me move...I'm figuring if the children see us working together, they'll not feel so bad about it.

I'm hoping we can date and try to rekindle the flame as well as I do love her to bits (and bloody appreciate her now!).
But hey, who knows what happens.

One things for sure, I'm not looking forward to it!

(probably be on PH a lot more again now)

Now you can sleep with who you want without guilt, it's probably best to keep it amicable for the kids and not try and 're-light the flame'?

Good luck