8.2 Milion living alone

[Glasgowrob]

If I could work from home 5 days It wld just be me and the dogs 😁😁

Need the good lady to take care of the furry kids when I'm at work

[Dr Jekyll]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Providing you get a shag first of course.

[Borghetto]

Dr Jekyll said:

+1

It's perfectly possible to be alone and not lonely.

Swap lonely for sometimes feeling bored and I think this is how many singles might describe their feelings.

[STO]

I've been living alone for nearly ten years, and can't see it changing any time soon. Quite happy with it, do what I want when I want. Can't imagine having another relationship, any single woman in my age range (I'm 52) are damaged and would only drag me down, oh and me them too.

[Agammemnon]

av185 said:

Strangely it is often seen as those who are on their own who have problems whereas in fact it is often those who 'must' have someone to live with at all costs due to their insecurities who are the unstable ones and are the ones who need 'help'.

The problem with what you're saying here is this:

Many of those living together denigrate or pity those that live alone as if they're lesser people. You could be interpreted as doing the same in the other direction. Everyone is free to make their choice; if they're happy with it then good for them. If they're unhappy then it's their responsibility to change it.

[pequod]

Not surprisingly, this topic has brought out the full panoply of reasons why some choose to live alone and some are, sadly, to live alone despite wanting to find a soulmate.

It was ever thus, we can't all be happily married (or happy with a long term partner) but what does sadden me is there are a growing number (apparently?) of our fellow men and women who claim to be 'lonely'. Maybe to do with climate change?

With all the opportunities that modern Britain provides to entertain us, compared to a century ago, there really is no excuse to be lonely or be unhappy with our lives.

[Dont like rolls]

Agammemnon said:

av185 said:

Strangely it is often seen as those who are on their own who have problems whereas in fact it is often those who 'must' have someone to live with at all costs due to their insecurities who are the unstable ones and are the ones who need 'help'.

The problem with what you're saying here is this:

Many of those living together denigrate or pity those that live alone as if they're lesser people. You could be interpreted as doing the same in the other direction. Everyone is free to make their choice; if they're happy with it then good for them. If they're unhappy then it's their responsibility to change it.

Lets be honest, many people don't want what they have on both sides, life is what happens to you but for most we get by........

[Crafty_]

rdjohn said:

We married at 21 and have been together for 40-odd years, so I struggle to comprehend a life of living alone. Perhaps it is the route cause of why so many folk have mental health issues?

I don't think metnal health issues arise from living alone. I can see that mental health issues might result in people being alone (despression/anxiety/no self confidence/trust issue etc).

pequod said:

It was ever thus, we can't all be happily married (or happy with a long term partner) but what does sadden me is there are a growing number (apparently?) of our fellow men and women who claim to be 'lonely'. Maybe to do with climate change?

Climate change causes single people ? am I on the daily mail website ?

Clearly there are people who are single or live alone by choice.
No doubt, some single people would rather not be, but for whatever reason haven't found a long term partner yet.
Either way, I don't see how this could be blamed on climate change.

[pequod]

A small fly I tied to see who was circling the pool, well done!

[johnwilliams77]

pequod said:

With all the opportunities that modern Britain provides to entertain us, compared to a century ago, there really is no excuse to be lonely or be unhappy with our lives.

There may be no excuse but depression and suicide in men is very common still (I cant be sure if its on the increase)

Look at the amount of very very rich people with 'all you could need' with mental issues or addictions, just because you should be happy does not mean you will be. It is not simple at all.

Edited by johnwilliams77 on Sunday 17th November 18:53

[Brigand]

I've been living alone for two years now since the ex left, prior to that I'd been in a couple of relationships or periods of dating / dalliances whilst living alone. I've always been someone who's enjoyed his own company, but I also like having someone to share experiences with. These past two years of living alone have been a mix of enjoying being able to do what I want without having to consider someone else, but also periods of loneliness, especially as online dating doesn't seem to be netting any results.

First time I tried it several years ago (late twenties to early thirties) I had plenty of interactions with people, but now I'm mid-to-late thirties it seems hardly anyone wants to talk to me and the few dates I have had have gone no further than that - I guess this age range is a bit of a dead zone for dating?

Someone mentioned earlier that many of us have a kind of ticking biological clock, I don't feel any strong desire to have children but there's certainly a part of me that feels that I should be doing that, and because I'm knocking on the door of 37, unmarried and no kids that something is very wrong. I look at my several uncles on my dad's side of the family who all ended up dying alone I fear I'll end up the same (I even had a pretty morbid thought a while ago that if I were to kark it suddenly at home it could be weeks before anyone found me, and it would likely be my employer coming to find out why I wasn't responding to emails or calls that would find me).

In my younger years I managed a healthy balance of socialising and time to myself, but these days given I live alone and increasingly work alone (the job is pushing for more working from home, with new targets of 70% of the week at home coming in) I'm finding the loneliness is increasing. I volunteer with a local group a couple of nights a week and this also gives me activities at some weekends to take part in, but it's not really enough to stave off the worst of the lonely days.

I've read some studies that show in recent years with the increase in working from home it's bringing on new issues around being alone that many of us never really experienced before; I know when I was in relationships or working in sociable circumstances I never really felt any negative feelings when alone, but when you're spending the majority of your time alone no matter how much you enjoy your own company it starts to take it's toll - humans are a social creature so we need interactions beyond talking online or with the girl at the supermarket checkout.

[johnwilliams77]

Brigand said:

I've been living alone for two years now since the ex left, prior to that I'd been in a couple of relationships or periods of dating / dalliances whilst living alone. I've always been someone who's enjoyed his own company, but I also like having someone to share experiences with. These past two years of living alone have been a mix of enjoying being able to do what I want without having to consider someone else, but also periods of loneliness, especially as online dating doesn't seem to be netting any results.

First time I tried it several years ago (late twenties to early thirties) I had plenty of interactions with people, but now I'm mid-to-late thirties it seems hardly anyone wants to talk to me and the few dates I have had have gone no further than that - I guess this age range is a bit of a dead zone for dating?

Someone mentioned earlier that many of us have a kind of ticking biological clock, I don't feel any strong desire to have children but there's certainly a part of me that feels that I should be doing that, and because I'm knocking on the door of 37, unmarried and no kids that something is very wrong. I look at my several uncles on my dad's side of the family who all ended up dying alone I fear I'll end up the same (I even had a pretty morbid thought a while ago that if I were to kark it suddenly at home it could be weeks before anyone found me, and it would likely be my employer coming to find out why I wasn't responding to emails or calls that would find me).

In my younger years I managed a healthy balance of socialising and time to myself, but these days given I live alone and increasingly work alone (the job is pushing for more working from home, with new targets of 70% of the week at home coming in) I'm finding the loneliness is increasing. I volunteer with a local group a couple of nights a week and this also gives me activities at some weekends to take part in, but it's not really enough to stave off the worst of the lonely days.

I've read some studies that show in recent years with the increase in working from home it's bringing on new issues around being alone that many of us never really experienced before; I know when I was in relationships or working in sociable circumstances I never really felt any negative feelings when alone, but when you're spending the majority of your time alone no matter how much you enjoy your own company it starts to take it's toll - humans are a social creature so we need interactions beyond talking online or with the girl at the supermarket checkout.

Interesting, you need a hobby/sport to take up more of your time. Jogging/cycling or something else? Most of those will have the ability to give back too, like join committees.

[pequod]

johnwilliams77 said:

There may be no excuse but depression and suicide in men is very common still (I cant be sure if its on the increase)

Depression is a clinical symptom which is treatable, loneliness is symptomatic of modern life.

Get out there, opportunities are all around!

[hyphen]

Brigand said:

I've read some studies that show in recent years with the increase in working from home it's bringing on new issues around being alone that many of us never really experienced before;

Working from home doesn't mean you need to be inside your home. Why not rent a desk in a co-sharing space? Loads about.

[gregs656]

hyphen said:

Apologies, Pan made it too complicated for you.

He means that as a hetro male, you naturally get an erection and want to stick it between a females legs.

Clearer?

That isn’t what he means, or at least, not what he said.

Prime Biological Directive. Jesus wept.

[A Winner Is You]

pequod said:

johnwilliams77 said:

There may be no excuse but depression and suicide in men is very common still (I cant be sure if its on the increase)

Depression is a clinical symptom which is treatable, loneliness is symptomatic of modern life.

Get out there, opportunities are all around!

I don't agree with there being "no excuse" as there are a multitude of reasons why a man or woman may be unwittingly single - lack of confidence, fear of rejection, little free time, family or children taking priority, the effects of a previous bad experience etc etc.

[condor]

I've lived alone since I bought my house in the 1980s. All of my income then went in paying the mortgage and bills.
I've been mortgage free for many years now, and have a fairly active social life with plenty of friends/acquaintances - but no one is interested in having a more intimate relationship with me, and likewise no one has interested me in that manner either.
I think you get to a certain age and you really can't be bothered with all the hassle and just want an easy life.

[Agammemnon]

Dont like rolls said:

Lets be honest, many people don't want what they have on both sides, life is what happens to you but for most we get by........

I hear you.

[Cold]

gregs656 said:

hyphen said:

Apologies, Pan made it too complicated for you.

He means that as a hetro male, you naturally get an erection and want to stick it between a females legs.

Clearer?

That isn’t what he means, or at least, not what he said.

Prime Biological Directive. Jesus wept.

Indeed. I've never had sex with the intent of making a baby. It's only ever been recreational and never procreational which means I have failed at evolution's Prime Biological Directive. I

Back to the topic, I've been on my own for about a decade now. I have a very small circle of friends who I meet up with maybe once a month - if that. Loneliness is a way of life these days, it's not something I enjoy but it is something that I'm used to.

Modern society makes it very easy to detach oneself from interacting with real people. So many "life" things can be done online, the supermarket shop is done via self-service checkouts, an Uber is summoned using the app.

It's easy to have spent longer than a week without talking to another person.
The other month I had a cold which gave me a dreadfully sore throat for the best part of a week. It was only when I went to order a coffee from the local Costa that I realised I'd lost my voice.

Still, it's not all bad. It's a Sunday night and I've just got the notion to pop out to the cinema. Such selfishness would be difficult to justify if I had to consider another person about going out.

[Pan Pan Pan]

Brigand said:

I've been living alone for two years now since the ex left, prior to that I'd been in a couple of relationships or periods of dating / dalliances whilst living alone. I've always been someone who's enjoyed his own company, but I also like having someone to share experiences with. These past two years of living alone have been a mix of enjoying being able to do what I want without having to consider someone else, but also periods of loneliness, especially as online dating doesn't seem to be netting any results.

First time I tried it several years ago (late twenties to early thirties) I had plenty of interactions with people, but now I'm mid-to-late thirties it seems hardly anyone wants to talk to me and the few dates I have had have gone no further than that - I guess this age range is a bit of a dead zone for dating?

Someone mentioned earlier that many of us have a kind of ticking biological clock, I don't feel any strong desire to have children but there's certainly a part of me that feels that I should be doing that, and because I'm knocking on the door of 37, unmarried and no kids that something is very wrong. I look at my several uncles on my dad's side of the family who all ended up dying alone I fear I'll end up the same (I even had a pretty morbid thought a while ago that if I were to kark it suddenly at home it could be weeks before anyone found me, and it would likely be my employer coming to find out why I wasn't responding to emails or calls that would find me).

In my younger years I managed a healthy balance of socialising and time to myself, but these days given I live alone and increasingly work alone (the job is pushing for more working from home, with new targets of 70% of the week at home coming in) I'm finding the loneliness is increasing. I volunteer with a local group a couple of nights a week and this also gives me activities at some weekends to take part in, but it's not really enough to stave off the worst of the lonely days.

I've read some studies that show in recent years with the increase in working from home it's bringing on new issues around being alone that many of us never really experienced before; I know when I was in relationships or working in sociable circumstances I never really felt any negative feelings when alone, but when you're spending the majority of your time alone no matter how much you enjoy your own company it starts to take it's toll - humans are a social creature so we need interactions beyond talking online or with the girl at the supermarket checkout.

It could be that many who suffer anxiety or depression, do so as a result of feeling they are not fulfilling the requirements of the prime biological directive, which is the primary driver in all species. The real sad thing is that depression could be what actually kills many people, when they did not need to die.
I liken depression to walking down a 3 foot wide, cold, dark, gloomy alleyway with unclimbable dirty brick walls one each side 150 foot high and running with water, and green slime. You get the first corner, and the next leg stretches away into a 10 mile distance, you get to the next corner, and it is the same again, and so on until you reach the end of the alley, and all there is, is a blank wall. So the lesson is that no matter what else any person does, repeat, absolutely no matter what a person does, there is no point or good reason whatsoever in even starting to go down that particular alley, NONE whatsoever. So when the urge to go down that alley starts up just ignore it, and don't go there, because no matter what else a person can do or even think of doing, there is not, and never will be any reason whatsoever to go down that alley.
As for dying alone, we all do that, One could be on one`s death bed in the Albert Hall with thousands upon thousands of people who love us to bits surrounding us, but we will be going, whereas all those around us will be staying (for a little while at least), and even if any of them said they would come with us on our journey elsewhere, what actual difference would the make to the person who is dying?
If you could say, OK you die now, and I will have a bit more life, and see you later when I feel like going, it might provide some benefit for the person who is about to pop their clogs, but as we all know that does not / can not happen.
We just have to enjoy and appreciate every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every year we are lucky enough to get given.it is after all, all any of us get given.