Lending Small amount of cash to friends

[alorotom]

Adam B said:

alorotom said:

More often than not it's clearly not known upfront and it's only when it actually happens you truly know

Hindsight is great

My foresight is 20 bloody 20 when it comes to lending someone over £500 let alone 11 grand

Good for you ... cool story bro ... blah blah blah

If you've read the whole thread you'll know that in my instance for example the person in question I've know since being at school, they have a full time job and their own business and Id seen the accounts plus knew what she was paid from her 'day job' at the time of lending ... you can't predict the future or how people will react when money lending is introduced to a relationship

[Adam B]

No need to be rude.

I have read the whole thread, if you read my posts you would see they were directed at wibble who had done little or no due diligence, not you

Edited by Adam B on Thursday 16th March 06:56

[alorotom]

Adam B said:

No need to be rude.

I have read the whole thread, if you read my posts you would see they were directed at wibble not you who had done little or no due diligence.

Not being rude ... just being honest

Your blanket statement of your supposed 20:20 justsight attempts to belittle all on this thread who've shared their direct experiences as being a lender and tars all with little to no rationale or appreciation of history and/or circumstance

[Adam B]

And looking back at your situation can I ask:

(and I am really not trying to be a smart arse here, you have my sympathy but I am genuinely interested how these situations come about)

Given her successful job/business did you ask her why not borrow from bank at less interest cost?

alorotom said:

The additional joke though is that she keeps asking for me to go guarantor on an Amigo loan for £10k for her ... she cant afford to pay me £200 a month without me hassling, how on earth does she expect me to believe she will maintain payments on a formal loan!! NOT A CHANCE

Oh and as a final piss take additional she hates her car (knackered little 02 plate nissan micra) and thinks she "deserves to drive and audi" and knows I have my TTRS in the garage that I dont really use and asked if she "could have it" as it was "just wasted not being used" by me, and that she "would look better driving it" than me and also "it would look more professional for her business" ... fking joker, especially when all I used to get from her was £5figure bragging about events she was arranging and creaming money out of - lies lies lies - you want your dream car, buy it yourself!

In the 22 years did she not give any clues of being such a vacuous self-centred cow?

Edited by Adam B on Thursday 16th March 06:55

[xjay1337]

It just makes me laugh.

I remember when I was younger I was lucky to get a tenner out of my Dad.

When I crashed my Scirocco into a deer my friend (Ross and Lucy, thanks!) lent me £700 for the carbon bonnet and also the money for Ross's stag do (£120 or something).

I paid back in full after 3 months.

But that's the most that anyone has lent me - The fact that people out there have £10k+ just "sitting about" that they don't need simply boggles my mind.

I honestly think that I could not borrow £1000 from a single friend/family member if my life depended on it.

My Mrs Dad probably would but that's not my "family" as such so doesn't count..

[Blown2CV]

not sure how it could be deemed completely unforseen that someone with no job, house or income would fail to pay back £11k.

[wibble cb]

alorotom said:

Adam B said:

No need to be rude.

I have read the whole thread, if you read my posts you would see they were directed at wibble not you who had done little or no due diligence.

Not being rude ... just being honest

Your blanket statement of your supposed 20:20 justsight attempts to belittle all on this thread who've shared their direct experiences as being a lender and tars all with little to no rationale or appreciation of history and/or circumstance

You are being rude, you're (with the benefit of hindsight) saying I have not done any due diligence, and must be an idiot to have lent someone money (a close family member no less, so not a complete stranger), others have correctly identified that often its the borrower who is not being truthful about their circs, or just plain ignores the fact they have a debt to repay.

you are entitled to your opinion, but throw in some commonsense before stating that its possibly all the lenders fault.

[alorotom]

Adam B said:

And looking back at your situation can I ask:

(and I am really not trying to be a smart arse here, you have my sympathy but I am genuinely interested how these situations come about)

Given her successful job/business did you ask her why not borrow from bank at less interest cost?

alorotom said:

The additional joke though is that she keeps asking for me to go guarantor on an Amigo loan for £10k for her ... she cant afford to pay me £200 a month without me hassling, how on earth does she expect me to believe she will maintain payments on a formal loan!! NOT A CHANCE

Oh and as a final piss take additional she hates her car (knackered little 02 plate nissan micra) and thinks she "deserves to drive and audi" and knows I have my TTRS in the garage that I dont really use and asked if she "could have it" as it was "just wasted not being used" by me, and that she "would look better driving it" than me and also "it would look more professional for her business" ... fking joker, especially when all I used to get from her was £5figure bragging about events she was arranging and creaming money out of - lies lies lies - you want your dream car, buy it yourself!

In the 22 years did she not give any clues of being such a vacuous self-centred cow?

Edited by Adam B on Thursday 16th March 06:55

she knew I had an active interest in businesses owned by people I have grown up with ... genuinely I think she knew I would refuse any interest on what she borrowed from me, which then makes it more sensible than a bank ... clearly they take a very dim view of non-payment and the subsequent (after going around this for bout 12mths) her will/need to use guarantor based lending demonstrates that her credit worthiness was not there

honesty, no, she never previously in the 22odd years demonstrated first or second hand "vacuous self-centered" traits at all ... I do wonder what else is happening in her life which I dont know which probably has led upto this

I know her mobile phone has been disconnected lately (she told me it was lost, I know this to be incorrect) ... I know her virtual office space has been surrendered ... I know her website has lapsed along with her email hosting ... lots of her world has come crashing down over the past 4-5weeks

[wibble cb]

Blown2CV said:

not sure how it could be deemed completely unforseen that someone with no job, house or income would fail to pay back £11k.

Ffs....the funds were borrowed 6 years ago, the current circs(no job/car/assets/house) all happened in the last 12 moths, not sure about yours but my crystal ball is not that good.

[Adam B]

alorotom said:

she knew I had an active interest in businesses owned by people I have grown up with ... genuinely I think she knew I would refuse any interest on what she borrowed from me, which then makes it more sensible than a bank ... clearly they take a very dim view of non-payment and the subsequent (after going around this for bout 12mths) her will/need to use guarantor based lending demonstrates that her credit worthiness was not there

honesty, no, she never previously in the 22odd years demonstrated first or second hand "vacuous self-centered" traits at all ... I do wonder what else is happening in her life which I dont know which probably has led upto this

I know her mobile phone has been disconnected lately (she told me it was lost, I know this to be incorrect) ... I know her virtual office space has been surrendered ... I know her website has lapsed along with her email hosting ... lots of her world has come crashing down over the past 4-5weeks

Sounds like you were very unlucky then, once again you have my sympathies and contrary to what was written above any defaulting friend absolutely has primary responsibility for these situations

[oyster]

This is a really odd thread.

We live in a credit-fuelled society. If you want business start-up cash then it's available. If you need emergency rainy-day cash then it's available. Why on earth do you need friends or family to lend you money?

I can't tell if this is a regional thing - is it Northern? London?
I can't tell if it's a 'class' thing - is it working classes doing this?

It's just so far removed from anything I've ever experienced before.

[fido]

oyster said:

We live in a credit-fuelled society. If you want business start-up cash then it's available. If you need emergency rainy-day cash then it's available. Why on earth do you need friends or family to lend you money?

I think it's one of these things that is more popular with lower-income groups at one extreme, or, well-heeled aristocrats! I once worked with this Sloaney-type who asked me if I wanted to buy debt from a female acquaintance of his - god knows what sort of repayment schedule she would be offering! He lent her a five figure sum with just an e-mail as receipt. As you say, there are so many vehicles for borrowing anonymously - which do cost more - but without the risk of falling out with individuals.

[fridaypassion]

oyster said:

This is a really odd thread.

We live in a credit-fuelled society. If you want business start-up cash then it's available. If you need emergency rainy-day cash then it's available. Why on earth do you need friends or family to lend you money?

I can't tell if this is a regional thing - is it Northern? London?
I can't tell if it's a 'class' thing - is it working classes doing this?

It's just so far removed from anything I've ever experienced before.

I would disagree with that. Business startup cash growing on trees? Where? There was bugger all about when I started out. People have all sorts of individual situations. A lot of the more genuine situations on this thread have been cash flow related and I can relate to that having had one or two situations where 10k would have helped me out. If you just need the cash for a month there's not much appeal in getting a loan. I suspect some of the borrowers probably the ones that don't pay back have possibly exhausted their other more mainstream credit lines.

[MTech535]

I have "lent" my best mate £1500. He had no money, I suspect he would not get a loan from a bank as he has no income.

I'm not expecting it back any time soon.

[The Mad Monk]

oyster said:

This is a really odd thread.

We live in a credit-fuelled society. If you want business start-up cash then it's available. If you need emergency rainy-day cash then it's available. Why on earth do you need friends or family to lend you money?

I can't tell if this is a regional thing - is it Northern?

Yes. North of Watford is the giveaway (no pun).

[Jer_1974]

The title of this thread is "Lending Small amount of cash to friends" it's not a pissing contest.

[exelero]

Well I have a friend who wad money problems since forever, I do sometimes "lend" him a tenner or 20 or something but I am not overly worried of not getting it back, since is the only real friend I've got and I know the situation he is in

[WolfAir]

I made a thread a long time ago about lending £400-ish to a friend, who on paying me back I was going to buy some epic electric RC models. I never did get those models. Also financed his B7 RS4 purchase because his credit was shot, which in his defence he has paid (taking 4 years), and then I lent him a £1000 for tyres for it.
I don't hold high hopes for it back if I'm honest.

[Adam B]

WolfAir said:

I made a thread a long time ago about lending £400-ish to a friend, who on paying me back I was going to buy some epic electric RC models. I never did get those models. Also financed his B7 RS4 purchase because his credit was shot, which in his defence he has paid (taking 4 years), and then I lent him a £1000 for tyres for it.
I don't hold high hopes for it back if I'm honest.

And this is where some people including myself are struggling. It is not a criticism it's obviously just a different view of the world.

You lent him 400 which he failed to pay back, so you lent him more which you also don't expect back. These are gifts not loans!

My friendships work differently (not better just different).

You don't borrow what you can't afford to pay back, and it would be very dishonourable not to do so.

That guy would no longer be my friend and I would be pointing out that maybe he should prioritise his friends and buy an A4 not a bloody RS4 that he can't afford tyres for!

Edited by Adam B on Friday 17th March 01:33

[Sa Calobra]

Good friends and family I'd see <£100 as no problem.

Anything over I'd expect the honourable thing to be done I.e paid back. Id see it as a guage of how they see my worth go them.