Mate found his shed been lived in

[anonymous-user]

paint it 3 different colours, add a few hipster stuff, and stick it on airbnb for 250 a week, for a Rustic Bijou Country Gîte.

[BlueHave]

Tomo1971 said:

What to do?

Get it on Rightmove pronto - £300 a week and im sure could get at least 6 romanians in there!

Only 6, it a scummy part of my town they found 12 living in one house. Which was a 2 bed terrace. Would hate to see the queue for the shower in the morning.

[HOGEPH]

Ian Geary said:

My inlaws rented a house, and the landlord kept pet crocodiles in the garage.

Just sayin'

Ian

He eaid they'd be gone in a while

[Rich_W]

Dig a 30foot hole under the shed. Then rebuild the floor of the shed with balsa wood.

When caught. Throw loads of paper down hole onto occupant then throw some fireworks down there.

Then when fire has gone out. Fill hole back in with concrete/industrial acid.


HTH

EDIT TO ADD. TBH the fire is optional.

Edited by Rich_W on Sunday 26th March 17:28

[Wacky Racer]

HOGEPH said:

Ian Geary said:

My inlaws rented a house, and the landlord kept pet crocodiles in the garage.

Just sayin'

Ian

He said they'd be gone in a while

See ya later Alligator.

[Willeh85]

poacher alarm? aka one of those £15 spring loaded trip wires that fires shotgun blancs. It'll scare the crap out of them.

[Kitchski]

Rig up door trigger alarm to a pre-recording of you in your sexiest voice saying "I've been expecting you" before a set of LED lamps illuminate a recently placed poster of you - naked - holding a tin of custard in one hand and a can of Red Bull in the other.

At this point the door automatically locks behind them and dildos drop from the ceiling attached to fishing wire.

[hornetrider]

V8RX7 said:

That's nothing, my Dad called me because he found a lad sleeping in his car on the drive !

I've done that in my yoof pre mobile phone days. Got pissed up, got a bit lost leaving a club, tried a few doors, white van was open, slept across the front bench. Was woken by a builder at about 6am!! He could at least have given me a lie in...

[S10GTA]

Kitchski said:

Rig up door trigger alarm to a pre-recording of you in your sexiest voice saying "I've been expecting you" before a set of LED lamps illuminate a recently placed poster of you - naked - holding a tin of custard in one hand and a can of Red Bull in the other.

At this point the door automatically locks behind them and dildos drop from the ceiling attached to fishing wire.

You've clearly given it too much thought.

I'd stick a picture of Billy the puppet to the inside of the door with "do you want to play a game" scrawled under it

[Jack Mansfield]

Buy Saw doll on tricycle and tape recorder with "lets play a game" recording on, tie tricycle to shed door so when the door is opened tricycle pulls towards intruder and simultaneously plays creepy voice. The squatter will never enter a shed again in their life

[Jack Mansfield]

S10GTA said:

You've clearly given it too much thought.

I'd stick a picture of Billy the puppet to the inside of the door with "do you want to play a game" scrawled under it

left the posting page while writing it and you beat me to it!

[boxst]

Jack Mansfield said:

left the posting page while writing it and you beat me to it!

You two should be worried that you posted something so similar

[Vitorio]

Rich_W said:

Dig a 30foot hole under the shed. Then rebuild the floor of the shed with balsa wood.

When caught. Throw loads of paper down hole onto occupant then throw some fireworks down there.

Then when fire has gone out. Fill hole back in with concrete/industrial acid.

paper sucks for a good fire, just poor some diesel in and throw in a burning flare/torch

[VEX]

Kitchski said:

Rig up door trigger alarm to a pre-recording of you in your sexiest voice saying "I've been expecting you" before a set of LED lamps illuminate a recently placed poster of you - naked - holding a tin of custard in one hand and a can of Red Bull in the other.

At this point the door automatically locks behind them and dildos drop from the ceiling attached to fishing wire.

LOL - Coffee / Keyboard moment.

But remind me NEVER to accept an invite to visit you!

V.

[ColinM50]

You're assuming it's a bloke. Could be a girl with big hooters who needs a seeing to.

[lucido grigio]

Has the OP's mate been down to the shed yet,and laid any of the suggested traps ?

Update please....

[mybrainhurts]

Land mines...

Or fill it with killer slugs.

[saaby93]

What are you lot like

I can imagine a bunch of PHers going 'equipped' with blow up dolls, videos of themselves and a flame thrower
Is there a place for some frozen sausages too...

[S10GTA]

ColinM50 said:

You're assuming it's a bloke. Could be a girl with big hooters who needs a seeing to.

Sounds like the makings of a very bad porno

[mybrainhurts]

We might have found Lord Lucan here, lads...