A conclusion -Neighbour wanting a front extension,not happy.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

Equus said:

We will drift off-topic, which will upset Fermit no end, if he's no longer the centre of attention

.

Equus. I have been civil with you in this thread, and will continue to be so. If I can ask you to do the same please. I have also pointed out a very credible reason why there is fragility in our home at the moment, so if you carry on this demeanour you'll simply come across very badly to your PH peers.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 11:05

edited for grammar.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 11:07

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

CAPP0 said:

advice etc

I'll re-read this post at some point, to digest and figure if I agree with any of it, rather than give a knee jerk reaction. I accept it's well intended, and if there is anything I think I need to consider I will. Ta.

[Equus]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

I have also pointed out a very credible reason why their is fragility in our home at the moment.

As others have pointed out, that's your business and really has no place in the current discussion. I'm not sure why you feel the need to expose your personal issues on a public internet forum - I share the view that it seems very strange indeed - but they have absolutely zero relevance to a thread about Planning permission, whatever.

If you're trying to tell us that your judgement is impaired because of stresses elsewhere in your life, at present, then the advice to step away from the internet for a while seems sound.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

No, but a polite ask to keep it civil, as we're feeling a bit fragile is 100% acceptable. Equus accused me of attention seeking, which was not just. As I pointed out earlier, I posted, then fked off to allotment until early evening, hardly indicative of attention seeking.

Right, on that note I'm off to get my scruffs on and return there.

[Badda]

Everyone is being civil, some of us just think you’re behaviour is very weird and disagree with you.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

Badda said:

Everyone is being civil

'We will drift off-topic, which will upset Fermit no end, if he's no longer the centre of attention'

If that's civil I'd love to see your judgement of ill mannered. Anyways, I'm not going to be drawn in to this further.

[alfie2244]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Badda said:

Everyone is being civil

'We will drift off-topic, which will upset Fermit no end, if he's no longer the centre of attention'

If that's civil I'd love to see your judgement of ill mannered. Anyways, I'm not going to be drawn in to this further.

Fermy my man...in the nicest possible way............step away from the PC, pop down to the allotments, grab a beer and chill while watching the chooks.

[Equus]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

You accused me of attention seeking, which was not just.

I was referring - as others have - to your broader behaviour.

You seem intent on continually justifying any situation by ever-expanding personal background, which we really don't need to know about, really don't care about (for all the expressions of sympathy, few of us have ever met you, so they are entirely trite and superficial), and which by the very strangeness of your sharing it is bound to attract comments that you find unsympathetic.

...Which leads to you expanding you personal justification, which leads to further adverse comments. It's a vicious circle.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

alfie2244 said:

Fermy my man...in the nicest possible way............step away from the PC, pop down to the allotments, grab a beer and chill while watching the chooks.

I'm ahead of you Alfie, my next move after this post is to put on my allotment battered trainers and get down there, this coop wont build itself

[AndyTR]

Badda said:

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Badda said:

It’s almost like you only want to hear from people who agree with you and shut down anything else. That’s not the idea of a forum you know. A ‘bigger man’ wouldn’t have demanded the original thread’s closure and then started a new one insisting people don’t disagree.

That's a tad unfair. How many threads have I ever asked to be closed? I'm pretty sure that that one was the only one, ever.

I took 10 pages of, TBF, bullying and unpleasantness, before finally saying 'enough'. And funnily, as touched on up the page, the general tone for the first 15 (?) pages was support and agreement, before some waded in, and the mood changed. That tends to happen a lot on PH, posters following the heard.

I can deal perfectly fine with differing opinion, cheers for that put down, but what I can't deal with (especially right now) is pack mentality bullying.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 08:17

I seem to remember it wasn’t so much Herd mentality, rather you making some generally sweeping unpleasant statements about people with less money and how they maintain their (cheap) houses. You then threw your toys out and demanded the thread closed.
:shrug:

Why did you feel the need to chime in? Doesn’t make you look a bigger man, your posts make you look like a cockwomble. I don’t know why you felt the need to post, but well done OP! Great result.

[dickymint]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Badda said:

I seem to remember it wasn’t so much Herd mentality, rather you making some generally sweeping unpleasant statements about people with less money and how they maintain their (cheap) houses. You then threw your toys out and demanded the thread closed.
:shrug:

Well if I were you I would go back and re-read it. The multiple PM emails I had speaking out about behavior in the thread backs this up. The very last post before closure was someone insisting that we should be spared no privilege of it not being granted as the area didn't warrant it, for crying out loud!

I/we never judge people with less money than me/us, unless they're a feckless benefit cheat. We're not even rich! I accept that if someone keeps their cheap (no need for that unnecessary jibe BTW) in a right state then why shouldn't we aspire do do it better? Many in the village keep their houses nicely too.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 10:03

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 10:54

Your very last words before you closed the thread were..............

"If anyone is interested in the outcome (instead of spreading bile) I'll update this on our home renovation thread."

Instead you've decided to basically re-start the thread

For clarity i suspect even "the herd" were behind you and supportive of your case. There was no bullying involved from anybody on PH. The change came about due to two things.

1) Your ability to read/interpret only the things you wanted to hear. That goes for advice on here and your own research.
2) Your own snobbish remarks as regards where and how you live.

The only good thing, that seems to be the case, is that you've not had a major falling out with your neighbour.

Anyway hooray for your local authority for applying the "rules" sensibly.

Edited to add in true PH fashion - in before the lock

Edited by dickymint on Sunday 30th June 11:57

[Black_S3]

Haha good news for you and good on you for starting a new topic about it. I hope it’s as hilarious as the last one

[The Moose]

Equus said:

which we really don't need to know about, really don't care about (for all the expressions of sympathy, few of us have ever met you, so they are entirely trite and superficial), and which by the very strangeness of your sharing it is bound to attract comments that you find unsympathetic.

I think you’re out of line there Equus! Just because I’ve never met Fermit or Sexy Sarah, doesn’t mean that when I say “I’m so sorry to hear you guys have had to go through what you are going through” is a superficial statement. Or trite for that matter. Yes, thank God, my wife and I haven’t experienced that yet...and I hope and pray we don’t in the future. I can only begin to imagine how hard it must be for many reasons.

He/they may overshare a little on here, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Many people overshare on PH in ways I wouldn’t.

It almost seems like you both seek each other out on threads unnecessarily. Both of you should quit that.

I’m sure you’ll justify your posts with something like “it’s just my sense of humor, I mean well by it” or similar as you did on the other thread, but I don’t buy that.

On the topic of the thread, I am pleased you got what you wanted Sexy Fermit but I don’t agree with the result. But that’s another matter altogether!

[Equus]

The Moose said:

I think you’re out of line there Equus! Just because I’ve never met Fermit or Sexy Sarah, doesn’t mean that when I say “I’m so sorry to hear you guys have had to go through what you are going through” is a superficial statement. Or trite for that matter.

Well, I can only imagine that you go through your life in a state of utter trauma, then, being badly affected by every death, famine and national disaster reported on the news.

If you are genuinely affected by and sympathetic to every bit of ill-fortune that you hear about a complete stranger suffering, then you must lead a very miserable life.

... and I'm so sorry to hear of your dreadful and continuous ordeal.

[xyz123]

In case the neighbour decides to appeal or to out on a revised application, do the neighbours get notified?

[Black_S3]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

Equus said:

We will drift off-topic, which will upset Fermit no end, if he's no longer the centre of attention

.

Equus. I have been civil with you in this thread, and will continue to be so. If I can ask you to do the same please. I have also pointed out a very credible reason why there is fragility in our home at the moment, so if you carry on this demeanour you'll simply come across very badly to your PH peers.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 11:05

edited for grammar.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Sunday 30th June 11:07

And there he is!

It’s as if he knows the perfect thing to say to unlock a different mad version of you

It’s not that anyone is against you buddy, just that every time you reply to equus for some reason it makes me spit my coffee over the desk laughing.

[Equus]

xyz123 said:

In case the neighbour decides to appeal or to out on a revised application, do the neighbours get notified?

Yes,in both cases.

[The Moose]

Equus said:

The Moose said:

I think you’re out of line there Equus! Just because I’ve never met Fermit or Sexy Sarah, doesn’t mean that when I say “I’m so sorry to hear you guys have had to go through what you are going through” is a superficial statement. Or trite for that matter.

Well, I can only imagine that you go through your life in a state of utter trauma, then, being badly affected by every death, famine and national disaster reported on the news.

If you are genuinely affected by and sympathetic to every bit of ill-fortune that you hear about a complete stranger suffering, then you must lead a very miserable life.

... and I'm so sorry to hear of your dreadful and continuous ordeal.

Been on the good beers early today?!

Clearly I’m not personally affected. Am I sympathetic to certain ill-fortune. Yes. Does all ill-fortune make me incapable of functioning? No. Do I lose sleep over it? No.

Also, recently having had our first baby (3 months ago), I am particularly aware of how lucky we are to have got to this stage and pray that things continue to go well for us and our little one. Hope that wasn’t oversharing...

You seem to have this misguided belief that showing sympathy towards another person means it has a negative impact on my life. I’m rather glad that I’m not completely social retarded to the point that I don’t feel sympathy towards someone else going through an exceptionally tough time for them.

[Equus]

The Moose said:

Clearly I’m not personally affected. Am I sympathetic to certain ill-fortune. Yes. Does all ill-fortune make me incapable of functioning? No. Do I lose sleep over it? No.

So read that back to yourself, then ask yourself in what way your expressions of sympathy are not trite and superficial.

As with everybody else reading it who doesn't know Fermit personally, the truth is that we'll all spend a fraction of a second thinking 'yeah, that's a bit crap for the fella, I suppose... now, what do I need to do next... oh, yeah, I was gonna make myself a coffee, wasn't I?'.

[227bhp]

He does have a massive fan base though, you can tell this by the amount of PMs of support he tells us he gets