Neighbourly Issues
Discussion
ChocolateFrog said:
I've not read all the thread but your offer of jet washing his drive seems a bit stingy.
If it really is going to cost £800 extra, offer him £400.
He's potentially happier and it's saved you £400.
Otherwise suck it up.
Maybe you should read the thread, as it's gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaau beyond that now.If it really is going to cost £800 extra, offer him £400.
He's potentially happier and it's saved you £400.
Otherwise suck it up.
Can't believe this is still going.
Op hasn't managed his relationship especially well with the neighbour.
Said neighbour doesn't want the inconvenience, mess and potential damage to his private drive or car from diggers, materials and waste being moved over it. He'd rather the OP used his drive and side passage.
Op is continuing to have a toys out of the pram, entitled, prattle on IMHO.
Op hasn't managed his relationship especially well with the neighbour.
Said neighbour doesn't want the inconvenience, mess and potential damage to his private drive or car from diggers, materials and waste being moved over it. He'd rather the OP used his drive and side passage.
Op is continuing to have a toys out of the pram, entitled, prattle on IMHO.
I think now there is another way to get the materials to the garden, I'd just ignore him, and I retract my suggestion to paint his side of the fence in lairy colours. We bought our house from a couple who were at their wits' end with the neighbour (not that they notified us when selling). We found out once we moved in. We're certainly not close, but we get along fine. No point in inflaming things any more. Shame he'll miss the New Garden party all the other neighbours get invited to though!
Hope it is all coming along well - we'll need pictures of the finished thing of course...
Hope it is all coming along well - we'll need pictures of the finished thing of course...
TheAngryDog said:
ChocolateFrog said:
I've not read all the thread but your offer of jet washing his drive seems a bit stingy.
If it really is going to cost £800 extra, offer him £400.
He's potentially happier and it's saved you £400.
Otherwise suck it up.
Maybe you should read the thread, as it's gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaau beyond that now.If it really is going to cost £800 extra, offer him £400.
He's potentially happier and it's saved you £400.
Otherwise suck it up.
He's paying the extra, which he seems happy to and the neighbour doesn't have to have a lorry and digger driven on his drive.
Sounds like they're both happy.
romeogolf said:
bennno said:
Op hasn't managed his relationship especially well with the neighbour.
I'm curious about this statement. What makes you think I've not managed it well with him? romeogolf said:
bennno said:
Op hasn't managed his relationship especially well with the neighbour.
I'm curious about this statement. What makes you think I've not managed it well with him? A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
bennno said:
I'd suggest the situation you now find yourself in is evidence you've not managed it well with him.
A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
I think I mentioned it further up, but if not, for clarity this conversation happened initially in last summer, again in around March, once again in May, and then finally by text the day before as a confirmation of what was previously discussed. And, for absolute clarity, it had been agreed previously what would be brought over and the guys doing it just went round to confirm dates/times as they knew their schedule best and were going to work around him if needed.A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
There's a fine line between keeping someone updated and becoming a nag, and I didn't want to be the latter seeing as it was him doing a favour.
48k said:
mikeveal said:
As you appear to have done, it is etiquette that you put the good face of your fence panels towards your neighbours. There's no law stating that you must.
I'd turn those panels at the end of your garden round.
To enable buglers and ne'er-do-wells to use the arris rails as a ladder you mean? I'd turn those panels at the end of your garden round.
bennno said:
I'd suggest the situation you now find yourself in is evidence you've not managed it well with him.
A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
Are you the neighbour? A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
Bill said:
bennno said:
I'd suggest the situation you now find yourself in is evidence you've not managed it well with him.
A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
Are you the neighbour? A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
595Heaven said:
We bought our house from a couple who were at their wits' end with the neighbour (not that they notified us when selling). We found out once we moved in. We're certainly not close, but we get along fine. No point in inflaming things any more. Shame he'll miss the New Garden party all the other neighbours get invited to though!
Legally the ex owners of your home had to tell you about the dispute. Did you think to follow this up?
bennno said:
Bill said:
bennno said:
I'd suggest the situation you now find yourself in is evidence you've not managed it well with him.
A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
Are you the neighbour? A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
However, saying that use is OK over a ten month period and then refusing with a day or so to go is always not going to go down well.
I wouldn't have asked for permission to use his drive in the first place.
It puts him in an awkward position.
He may have said yes in the first place out of courtesy and then thought about it a bit more and decided against it.
There's a fair risk involved. If you invite a lorry on to your drive and it gets damaged, who pays for it? I can tell you it's not the owner of the lorry.
It's bad enough trusting builders not to damage your own property, let alone someone else's.
In my view you've dodged a bullet but potentially ruined a neighbourly relationship, regardless of whether he's an arse.
It puts him in an awkward position.
He may have said yes in the first place out of courtesy and then thought about it a bit more and decided against it.
There's a fair risk involved. If you invite a lorry on to your drive and it gets damaged, who pays for it? I can tell you it's not the owner of the lorry.
It's bad enough trusting builders not to damage your own property, let alone someone else's.
In my view you've dodged a bullet but potentially ruined a neighbourly relationship, regardless of whether he's an arse.
bennno said:
Bill said:
bennno said:
I'd suggest the situation you now find yourself in is evidence you've not managed it well with him.
A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
Are you the neighbour? A conversation over a fence in May followed by a text the night before asking if he'd like to liase with your trades over access would result in 99% of people telling you to do one.
Perhaps this type of dick move is from your play book, and is why you would side with the neighbour? Do you get a kick from being petty and agreeing to allowing your neighbours access etc, and then changing it at the last minute to cause them an inconvenience?
fouronthefloor said:
I wouldn't have asked for permission to use his drive in the first place.
It puts him in an awkward position.
He may have said yes in the first place out of courtesy and then thought about it a bit more and decided against it.
There's a fair risk involved. If you invite a lorry on to your drive and it gets damaged, who pays for it? I can tell you it's not the owner of the lorry.
It's bad enough trusting builders not to damage your own property, let alone someone else's.
In my view you've dodged a bullet but potentially ruined a neighbourly relationship, regardless of whether he's an arse.
He had 10 months to say that he had changed his mind. If he didn't want to allow it, he could have told the OP nicely at any point. "on reflection, I'd prefer it if you didn't use our drive for access as I am concerned about the damage that the lorry and its spreaders could do to the driveway". Most people who are reasonable would accept that, I know I would, and I can often be an unreasonable man/dog.It puts him in an awkward position.
He may have said yes in the first place out of courtesy and then thought about it a bit more and decided against it.
There's a fair risk involved. If you invite a lorry on to your drive and it gets damaged, who pays for it? I can tell you it's not the owner of the lorry.
It's bad enough trusting builders not to damage your own property, let alone someone else's.
In my view you've dodged a bullet but potentially ruined a neighbourly relationship, regardless of whether he's an arse.
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