The well-intentioned but upsetting misappropriation of cats
Discussion
This seem like a good place to post the cat diary. 
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I made my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. b
ds!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird must
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I made my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. b
ds!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird must
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
I have recently been through a similar thing although from the other end of the story.
We recently moved house. about 2 weeks after moving in we get a visit from a very inquisitive (un-collared) cat.
He spent most of the day walking around the house (came in through one of the windows), sniffing stuff, sitting in different positions and occasionally meowing at us.
He is now outside my front door every night meowing at me, he comes in sits in the kitchen and meows.
I can only imagine that the previous tennants used to feed him (we have not).
A week ago last sunday I took him down to the local vets as I was unsure if anyone was feeding him or if he even had a home, turns out he lives round the corner in a house with a young lady and 3 other cats.
Clearly he just doesn't like it there.
(We have not kept him and are not letting him in our house any more)
We recently moved house. about 2 weeks after moving in we get a visit from a very inquisitive (un-collared) cat.
He spent most of the day walking around the house (came in through one of the windows), sniffing stuff, sitting in different positions and occasionally meowing at us.
He is now outside my front door every night meowing at me, he comes in sits in the kitchen and meows.
I can only imagine that the previous tennants used to feed him (we have not).
A week ago last sunday I took him down to the local vets as I was unsure if anyone was feeding him or if he even had a home, turns out he lives round the corner in a house with a young lady and 3 other cats.
Clearly he just doesn't like it there.
(We have not kept him and are not letting him in our house any more)
I agree with all of the above. Dogs are very attentive and far more loyal than cats. Those of which seem to have abandoned home in favour of extra food elsewhere and a place to rest.
I had a cat once in my early teens and the family very rarely saw it. Was out all day until very late, came in, ate, slept for a few hours and was back out by the time everyone woke up. Unsociable, ignorant animals.
My german shepherd on the other hand can't wait for me to wake up in the morning, gets me up and out in the fresh air twice a day for a decent walk and is always there. I'd get chickens. The cats will soon be back, and if the chickens ever try to make a dash for it, you get a decent meal that evening.
I had a cat once in my early teens and the family very rarely saw it. Was out all day until very late, came in, ate, slept for a few hours and was back out by the time everyone woke up. Unsociable, ignorant animals.
My german shepherd on the other hand can't wait for me to wake up in the morning, gets me up and out in the fresh air twice a day for a decent walk and is always there. I'd get chickens. The cats will soon be back, and if the chickens ever try to make a dash for it, you get a decent meal that evening.
IndyAndy777 said:
This seem like a good place to post the cat diary.
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I made my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. bds!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird must
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I made my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. b
ds!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird must
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
Dear Mr Cat.
I regret that matters have come to this. You don't have two cats. You never had two cats. We are two cats, true enough, and I'll accept that we used to deign to let you feed us. We have now changed our minds. I'm not lion about this.
Your habit of leaving the kitty empty was not acceptable to us so we went in search of, and found, a better source of nourishment. We always land on our feet.
Given that we can't talk, we had anticipated that the change in arrangements was made abundantly clear by our simply pissing-off without a backwards glance.
If you attempt to make contact again, I'll refer you to Arkell vs. Pressdram and report your harassment to the proper authorities without paws for thought.
Not Yours,
Dave and Rob Cat.
(yes, those are our proper names, you patronising arse)
I regret that matters have come to this. You don't have two cats. You never had two cats. We are two cats, true enough, and I'll accept that we used to deign to let you feed us. We have now changed our minds. I'm not lion about this.
Your habit of leaving the kitty empty was not acceptable to us so we went in search of, and found, a better source of nourishment. We always land on our feet.
Given that we can't talk, we had anticipated that the change in arrangements was made abundantly clear by our simply pissing-off without a backwards glance.
If you attempt to make contact again, I'll refer you to Arkell vs. Pressdram and report your harassment to the proper authorities without paws for thought.
Not Yours,
Dave and Rob Cat.
(yes, those are our proper names, you patronising arse)
pilchardthecat said:
A dog is not a viable alternative to a cat.
Dogs are pathetic needy things and whilst I can see why feeble-minded people (ie those in need of constant reassurance that another living thing on the planet loves them) may wish to have one hanging about the house, i'm generally ambivalent towards other people's dogs and have no desire to possess (for that is the correct term) my own.
So stop all the silly dog nonsense.
Clearly you're a poof, but that's OK these days. Only problem is you're not a very good poof so your cats have voted with their feet. Cats are like women, they quickly tire of your inadequacies and inability to service their needs. Dogs are like your best mate - they know you're not perfect but they don't care; their love is pure and their loyalty complete. I'm guessing you live in a house full of women so you badly need a dog so at least someone is on your side occassionaly. Dogs are pathetic needy things and whilst I can see why feeble-minded people (ie those in need of constant reassurance that another living thing on the planet loves them) may wish to have one hanging about the house, i'm generally ambivalent towards other people's dogs and have no desire to possess (for that is the correct term) my own.
So stop all the silly dog nonsense.
My mum has two cats, and one will disappear for a few weeks once or twice a year, seems he goes to another house down the street, where a woman there feeds him.
When he is recaptured, usually by coming for a mooch in our garden, he's turned into a fat bugger, and an angry bugger, as he gets trapped in the house until he's remembered this is his home.
Now I live with my missus, she wanted a cat, and I agreed. He's a good cat, but I'm seriously hacked off with the fur everywhere, all over my clothes, shoes, everything.
Dogs stink though, so I wouldn't want one of those, cats are okay by me as they just crack on and do what they want, I give them affection when I want to, and they come to me when they want it, it's a good arrangement that suits me. I wouldn't want a do constantly demanding attention, rubs, walkies etc etc.
OP, as for getting your cat back, well, you either have to go over there and demand it back, or just wait and the cat will come back soon enough. Either that or tell the biddies that they can have the cats; but they will still end up coming back to you!
When he is recaptured, usually by coming for a mooch in our garden, he's turned into a fat bugger, and an angry bugger, as he gets trapped in the house until he's remembered this is his home.
Now I live with my missus, she wanted a cat, and I agreed. He's a good cat, but I'm seriously hacked off with the fur everywhere, all over my clothes, shoes, everything.
Dogs stink though, so I wouldn't want one of those, cats are okay by me as they just crack on and do what they want, I give them affection when I want to, and they come to me when they want it, it's a good arrangement that suits me. I wouldn't want a do constantly demanding attention, rubs, walkies etc etc.
OP, as for getting your cat back, well, you either have to go over there and demand it back, or just wait and the cat will come back soon enough. Either that or tell the biddies that they can have the cats; but they will still end up coming back to you!
pilchardthecat said:
A dog is not a viable alternative to a cat.
Dogs are pathetic needy things and whilst I can see why feeble-minded people (ie those in need of constant reassurance that another living thing on the planet loves them) may wish to have one hanging about the house, i'm generally ambivalent towards other people's dogs and have no desire to possess (for that is the correct term) my own.
So stop all the silly dog nonsense.
Dogs are pathetic needy things and whilst I can see why feeble-minded people (ie those in need of constant reassurance that another living thing on the planet loves them) may wish to have one hanging about the house, i'm generally ambivalent towards other people's dogs and have no desire to possess (for that is the correct term) my own.
So stop all the silly dog nonsense.
swiftpete said:
Well why do you have cats?
swiftpete said:
I mean, why did you have cats?
My thoughts exactly. At least dogs are useful.Mr Dave said:
If you die locked in a house with a dog it will starve.
If you die locked in a house with a cat it will eat your tongue and eyes.
Not true. If you die locked in a house with a cat it will eat your tongue and eyes.
http://edition.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/05/15/aus...
Is this a "friend" story Pilchard?
*note to potential magnetic catflap purchasers - make sure you don't have a metal milk bowl for your cat. Although the magnetic collar/steel food bowl interface is very funny it's not so funny as the cat tries to unsuccessfully back away from it and deposits half a pint of cat milk over the floor...
pilchardthecat said:
I have several friends with benefits.
There are two old ladies up the road (2 bungalows next door to each other), one of whom used to have a husband, which died a year or two ago.
It has been known for me from time to time to frequent said old ladies for pampering services.
This week however i have not seen any action at all, even at breeding time, which is very unusual. Concerned for their wellbeing i decided to go and see old lady #1 and find out whether she had been seen to recently. She invited me in (back door if you must know) and there was one of my best friends, with his own little bed, bowl of lube, and a further dildo for fun. The other one (apparently) was out of batteries.
I want my pussy back. I do not want to make little old ladies cry.
Pistonheads; bring forth your wisdom
I do sympathise with your predicament - we have acquired an elderly cat which invited all the other neighbourhood cats in the house whilst we were at work which meant we had to fork out for a new magnetic catflap* a couple of weeks after buying the first one.There are two old ladies up the road (2 bungalows next door to each other), one of whom used to have a husband, which died a year or two ago.
It has been known for me from time to time to frequent said old ladies for pampering services.
This week however i have not seen any action at all, even at breeding time, which is very unusual. Concerned for their wellbeing i decided to go and see old lady #1 and find out whether she had been seen to recently. She invited me in (back door if you must know) and there was one of my best friends, with his own little bed, bowl of lube, and a further dildo for fun. The other one (apparently) was out of batteries.
I want my pussy back. I do not want to make little old ladies cry.
Pistonheads; bring forth your wisdom
*note to potential magnetic catflap purchasers - make sure you don't have a metal milk bowl for your cat. Although the magnetic collar/steel food bowl interface is very funny it's not so funny as the cat tries to unsuccessfully back away from it and deposits half a pint of cat milk over the floor...
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