The well-intentioned but upsetting misappropriation of cats

[plasticpig]

mchammer89 said:

My thoughts exactly. At least dogs are useful.

Ships cats and barn cats are useful so cats are useful too.

[pilchardthecat]

Adenauer said:

I'm sticking my neck out here, but I have a feeling this thread isn't going the way the OP intended?

I think it's playing out pretty much how i expected

[mchammer89]

plasticpig said:

Ships cats and barn cats are useful so cats are useful too.

That is true, I should've stated that I was talking about in a domestic environment.

[sleep envy]

kill the old women

the cats will come back when they stop being fed

[Cock Womble 7]

plasticpig said:

Ships cats and barn cats are useful so cats are useful too.

Are they fk.

Ship's cats will jump ship as soon as look at you because their "home" is surrounded by water.

Barn cats (and I swear you've just made that up) will jump barn because "It's a bit draughty."

[omgus]

plasticpig said:

mchammer89 said:

My thoughts exactly. At least dogs are useful.

Ships cats and barn cats are useful so cats are useful too.

My cats are very useful, they kill absolutely everything small and rodenty in the 1/2 mile around my house, and deposit it outsite on the patio as proof and they keep the foxes away from the bins.

[anonymous-user]

Do you have any kids? If so go to the old lady and tell her the cat(s) are your kid(s) pet and they miss him/her dearly, upset and can't sleep at night or just make another sob story and offer her help to adopt a cat if she truly wants one.

When you get your cat back, lock him/her in for a day or so, spoil him with wet food, cat treats and cat milk and that should keep him happy for a while!

[Jasandjules]

Tell the old bats to stop feeding your cats. Simple ?

[Cock Womble 7]

DoodoolTalla said:

Do you have any kids? If so go to the old lady and tell her the cat(s) are your kid(s) pet and they miss him/her dearly, upset and can't sleep at night or just make another sob story and offer her help to adopt a cat if she truly wants one.

When you get your cat back, lock him/her in for a day or so, spoil him with wet food, cat treats and cat milk and that should keep him happy for a while!

Or, alternatively, fk 'em.

[marksx]

Buy a new cat. If old cat returns, tell it to swivel.

[Jasandjules]

Cock Womble 7 said:

Or, alternatively, fk 'em.

The cats or the old ladies?

Actually, either way that's not good...........

[funkyrobot]

Get a house rabbit. Ours is brilliant.

We had a cat move into our garden for a while and it stayed there (because my fiancee fed it loads and fussed it). Over the months it would disappear for a few days then return with varied messages stuck to it's collar; some of which were nasty. The last one related to it having a special diet and how it shouldn't be fed.

Anyway, my fiancee loves the wildlife and birds in the garden too. One day she came home to a massacre. The cat had killed and messed up a whole family of baby birds. My fiancee was devastated so she stopped feeding the cat.

After two to three weeks of no food it finally seems to have disappeared now. Bloomin thing

[funkyrobot]

Jasandjules said:

Cock Womble 7 said:

Or, alternatively, fk 'em.

The cats or the old ladies?

Actually, either way that's not good...........

The old ladies could take their teeth out though...

[mikeyr]

Cock Womble 7 said:

Or, alternatively, fk 'em.

I'd respectively refer you to my previous post - its what I think he's actually doing

[Timmy35]

funkyrobot said:

Get a house rabbit. Ours is brilliant.

and if you get bored of it, it's one pet you can saute in butter and eat.

[funkyrobot]

Timmy35 said:

and if you get bored of it, it's one pet you can saute in butter and eat.

[Cock Womble 7]

Timmy35 said:

funkyrobot said:

Get a house rabbit. Ours is brilliant.

and if you get bored of it, it's one pet you can saute in butter and eat.

Erm, you can do that with cats.

[Cock Womble 7]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Tastes like chicken.

Albeit stringy, chewy, fairly tough chicken. With a collar on.

[Chris Type R]

mikeyr said:

*note to potential magnetic catflap purchasers - make sure you don't have a metal milk bowl for your cat. Although the magnetic collar/steel food bowl interface is very funny it's not so funny as the cat tries to unsuccessfully back away from it and deposits half a pint of cat milk over the floor...

[wolves_wanderer]

Mr Dave said:

If you die locked in a house with a dog it will starve.

If you die locked in a house with a cat it will eat your tongue and eyes.

Fair point, dogs are stupid.