Close to giving up..
Discussion
This is easy to say but don’t give up , I was in the same position 6 years ago after agreeing to let my wife pick a dog as a thank you for taking care of me through an illness.
The dog choice was made her mind could not be changed and off she went cash in hand to bring home said dog.
Having spoken to the owner, new parents who thought it would be a good idea to buy a dog shortly before the baby arrived it turned out they could not cope and as the mum admitted her husband’s attitude to the pup was bordering on cruel. There was no way my wife would be leaving the dog any longer in that house so returned home with said ball of fluff.
For the first month I could not even be in the same room its bowls and bladder would just empty at the sight of me. I spent nights lying on the floor giving the dog all the time it needed to get used to me never reaching out always letting him come to me.it was a long drawn out affair, but the end result this 6ft 4” overweight softy now has a yorkie who won’t leave his side is so much fun to be around and has enough confidence in himself that he will take a flying leap at me while play fighting.
Hold in it will be worth it
The dog choice was made her mind could not be changed and off she went cash in hand to bring home said dog.
Having spoken to the owner, new parents who thought it would be a good idea to buy a dog shortly before the baby arrived it turned out they could not cope and as the mum admitted her husband’s attitude to the pup was bordering on cruel. There was no way my wife would be leaving the dog any longer in that house so returned home with said ball of fluff.
For the first month I could not even be in the same room its bowls and bladder would just empty at the sight of me. I spent nights lying on the floor giving the dog all the time it needed to get used to me never reaching out always letting him come to me.it was a long drawn out affair, but the end result this 6ft 4” overweight softy now has a yorkie who won’t leave his side is so much fun to be around and has enough confidence in himself that he will take a flying leap at me while play fighting.
Hold in it will be worth it
So 7 months down the line, 2k lighter wallet on three different behaviourists there has been no change.
The last behaviourist (qualified vet) has put her on prozac, she said should see a difference in a couple of weeks, but there has been none apart from possibly sleeps more?
She still growls when I walk past or come into a room, and eliminates if some how I end up between her and the missus.
Tried a ton of different training methods including:
Doing all feeding and walking (had to give up the last one as soon as got to the point as soon as I walked the girls to the door she eliminates through fear).
No sitting on furniture/beds.
Massage when she is sat with wife.
Avoiding all contact.
Distracting her when I walk in a room to remove confrontation.
Treats from a distance.
Hand feeding.
Thunder shirts.
DAP (dog appeasing pheromone (probably about as valid as homeopathy)).
Rescue Remedy.
Treat training - difficult as she's not food motivated.
None of which have had the slightest noticeable impact, all of which gives me the distinct impression the behaviourists don't really know what they are on about, and I should change career... - (the vet didn't feel for 500 quid it was necessary for me to attend the consultation for example)...
However through lots of walking and interaction with others she does sometimes now play with our/other dogs. (When I'm not there).
My wife is considering putting her up for adoption, but she's had such a rough life (and is besotted with the wife), I'd rather not run the risk of her going to family that won't treat her well. (Plus she's a dear little thing, and more to the point I don't want to admit defeat and have thrown a ton of cash away).
Any further suggestions?
The last behaviourist (qualified vet) has put her on prozac, she said should see a difference in a couple of weeks, but there has been none apart from possibly sleeps more?
She still growls when I walk past or come into a room, and eliminates if some how I end up between her and the missus.
Tried a ton of different training methods including:
Doing all feeding and walking (had to give up the last one as soon as got to the point as soon as I walked the girls to the door she eliminates through fear).
No sitting on furniture/beds.
Massage when she is sat with wife.
Avoiding all contact.
Distracting her when I walk in a room to remove confrontation.
Treats from a distance.
Hand feeding.
Thunder shirts.
DAP (dog appeasing pheromone (probably about as valid as homeopathy)).
Rescue Remedy.
Treat training - difficult as she's not food motivated.
None of which have had the slightest noticeable impact, all of which gives me the distinct impression the behaviourists don't really know what they are on about, and I should change career... - (the vet didn't feel for 500 quid it was necessary for me to attend the consultation for example)...
However through lots of walking and interaction with others she does sometimes now play with our/other dogs. (When I'm not there).
My wife is considering putting her up for adoption, but she's had such a rough life (and is besotted with the wife), I'd rather not run the risk of her going to family that won't treat her well. (Plus she's a dear little thing, and more to the point I don't want to admit defeat and have thrown a ton of cash away).
Any further suggestions?
Well having seen the positive results of a good behaviourist on more than one occasion, your comments are disrespectful imo, though understandable I suppose re: the money you've spent. Vets should not be behaviourist unless that is their full time job. I think you have not found the right one or committed long enough to one. 3 behaviourist in 7 months is never going to get you good results. You need months with one person. Intensive therapies initially followed by a lot of support.
You have a complicated situation and needs someone who really knows what they are taking one. Anyone sho says at the start they'll sort it should be avoided!
Rehoming her will just move the problem on not ideal.
I feel for you, this is not easy. Have these behaviourists ever got you go fill out long and detailed questionnaire?
You have a complicated situation and needs someone who really knows what they are taking one. Anyone sho says at the start they'll sort it should be avoided!
Rehoming her will just move the problem on not ideal.
I feel for you, this is not easy. Have these behaviourists ever got you go fill out long and detailed questionnaire?
Edited by bexVN on Thursday 27th December 23:39
Thanks for being offended on behalf of others...working with animals is highly subjective and no one solution can fit all cases, nor if I understand, is there any regulation regarding calling ones self a 'behaviourist'?
Anyway they have all required extensive written assessments and in some cases video - the vet required only a long written assessment, and no observation of my dog's behavior with me, which I thought unusual. (And to add they are on the board of a particular veterinary association for behaviourists).
Anyway, my point was that several different training methods have been tried for a couple of months, with absolutely NO change at all and I was looking if anyone else had any advice or recommendations...
Anyway they have all required extensive written assessments and in some cases video - the vet required only a long written assessment, and no observation of my dog's behavior with me, which I thought unusual. (And to add they are on the board of a particular veterinary association for behaviourists).
Anyway, my point was that several different training methods have been tried for a couple of months, with absolutely NO change at all and I was looking if anyone else had any advice or recommendations...
Jasandjules said:
I know a lady who calls herself something like a behaviourist but she massages the dogs in a kind of acupuncture like way which relaxes them. It has seriously relaxed a couple of very hyper dogs. If you want her details pm me.
Thanks - the first behaviourist we tried did that method, and she had a natural rapport with the dog - (she even came over for a sniff at me after th first session) - she tried to get me to do massage with the dog when wife was sat next to her, but after a couple of months there was no change even incorporating other methods. ScruffPatch said:
I might be missing it but did you say what happened when you spent a lot of time on the floor ignoring her? What happens then?
How do you get on if you have both dogs in a room without your wife there? Does it stay close to the other dog?
I ignore her and try to avoid eye contact, in order not to reinforce anxious behaviour, I do throw treats to her from a distance when her ears are up, and she's in a relatively relaxed mode. How do you get on if you have both dogs in a room without your wife there? Does it stay close to the other dog?
If the wife is present she will sit on top of her or have a paw touching her leg etc, all the time she watching my every move (I honestly think half the anxiety is due to her lack of sleep)...
The very few occasions when I have come home and the wife is out and let her out of the bathroom (where they are both gated if we're not home) she will run around in a blind panic looking for the missus and usually eliminating when she runs past me sat on the sofa - I usually just avoid being home if the missus isn't about.
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