Scared of dogs but want one....
Discussion
...weird I know.
Now I'm not scared of all dogs but am nervous around some breeds, mainly Alsatians, huskys, Rotties etc
But I love the dogs I know well. The Mrs's family have five and I love taking the retrievers out for walks but am yet to really go near the Alsatian. A friend of mine has a miniature English Bull terrier which I'm ok with but when he gets over excited and starts barking I get a little nervous. (please don't take the piss
)
Now, the other half has always grown up with dogs so I feel I should get onboard and not stand in the way of her having one, but my worry is being able to deal with certain situations.
I mean, how would I cope if two large dogs came running over whilst I was out walking it. Would I be assertive enough to protect it should it come under threat from another dog? I don't really know.
I wonder if being around a dog 24/7 would enable me to overcome my nervousness. Obviously the other half is very experienced so we would be able to provide the proper environment but I wonder if my nervousness and reaction to loud barking etc would be considered a major problem or something that would fade away.
I welcome any input.
Now I'm not scared of all dogs but am nervous around some breeds, mainly Alsatians, huskys, Rotties etc
But I love the dogs I know well. The Mrs's family have five and I love taking the retrievers out for walks but am yet to really go near the Alsatian. A friend of mine has a miniature English Bull terrier which I'm ok with but when he gets over excited and starts barking I get a little nervous. (please don't take the piss
)Now, the other half has always grown up with dogs so I feel I should get onboard and not stand in the way of her having one, but my worry is being able to deal with certain situations.
I mean, how would I cope if two large dogs came running over whilst I was out walking it. Would I be assertive enough to protect it should it come under threat from another dog? I don't really know.
I wonder if being around a dog 24/7 would enable me to overcome my nervousness. Obviously the other half is very experienced so we would be able to provide the proper environment but I wonder if my nervousness and reaction to loud barking etc would be considered a major problem or something that would fade away.
I welcome any input.
Jasandjules said:
With a puppy the dog will grow up with you and you it so I would imagine it would help you.
agree very much, didn't quite get a puppy when I qualified, but a 6 month old reject black lab, who became a brilliant friend and teacher. If you fancy a scary dog, get one but involve a good trainer who can help your confidence and your dog's learning. Thevet said:
Jasandjules said:
With a puppy the dog will grow up with you and you it so I would imagine it would help you.
agree very much, didn't quite get a puppy when I qualified, but a 6 month old reject black lab, who became a brilliant friend and teacher. If you fancy a scary dog, get one but involve a good trainer who can help your confidence and your dog's learning. I'm encouraged by what you guys have said so far however. I thought people might just say "no way, if you are timid around them you shouldn't have a dog!"
I like the suggestion of dog sitting, but my GF's family are hundreds of miles away so don't really get much chance. When I do visit the Alsatian barks like hell and I end up feeling more anxious than ever... but I take their retriever out and really enjoy the experience.
Edited by DoubleSix on Wednesday 1st August 20:21
DoubleSix said:
...weird I know.
Now I'm not scared of all dogs but am nervous around some breeds, mainly Alsatians, huskys, Rotties etc
But I love the dogs I know well. The Mrs's family have five and I love taking the retrievers out for walks but am yet to really go near the Alsatian. A friend of mine has a miniature English Bull terrier which I'm ok with but when he gets over excited and starts barking I get a little nervous. (please don't take the piss )
Now, the other half has always grown up with dogs so I feel I should get onboard and not stand in the way of her having one, but my worry is being able to deal with certain situations.
I mean, how would I cope if two large dogs came running over whilst I was out walking it. Would I be assertive enough to protect it should it come under threat from another dog? I don't really know.
I wonder if being around a dog 24/7 would enable me to overcome my nervousness. Obviously the other half is very experienced so we would be able to provide the proper environment but I wonder if my nervousness and reaction to loud barking etc would be considered a major problem or something that would fade away.
I welcome any input.
Not weird at all, lots of people have phobias they'd like to overcome. Now I'm not scared of all dogs but am nervous around some breeds, mainly Alsatians, huskys, Rotties etc
But I love the dogs I know well. The Mrs's family have five and I love taking the retrievers out for walks but am yet to really go near the Alsatian. A friend of mine has a miniature English Bull terrier which I'm ok with but when he gets over excited and starts barking I get a little nervous. (please don't take the piss
)Now, the other half has always grown up with dogs so I feel I should get onboard and not stand in the way of her having one, but my worry is being able to deal with certain situations.
I mean, how would I cope if two large dogs came running over whilst I was out walking it. Would I be assertive enough to protect it should it come under threat from another dog? I don't really know.
I wonder if being around a dog 24/7 would enable me to overcome my nervousness. Obviously the other half is very experienced so we would be able to provide the proper environment but I wonder if my nervousness and reaction to loud barking etc would be considered a major problem or something that would fade away.
I welcome any input.
Just like anything in life, the more experience you have the more confident you'll be, and when it's your own dog you're 110% more confident because you get to know their mood, wants, body language etc etc.
Fortunately, it's quite rare to come across aggressive dogs who are free roaming, but it's amazing how you can react if your dog is at risk. I'm 5'6" and just over 8 stone, but on the couple of occasions I've felt my dogs were at risk I've felt in control as much as you can be in those situations. There's lots of little tricks you can do to stop it escalating into a fight too, and walking him/her in fields rather than parks will mean you encounter far fewer dogs anyway.
I promise you'll never look back once you take on a dog, life without one will seem like an alien concept! Plus, if you'd consider a rescue there's thousands of dogs and puppies in desperate need of a new home. Good luck with whatever you decide!
When my (now) wife first moved in with me, I was temporarily looking after the family German shepherd dog for my parents. My wife had been traumatised by a GSD as a child and was afraid of them, but living with a well trained but big, daft and friendly one for a while completely altered her view of them.
otolith said:
When my (now) wife first moved in with me, I was temporarily looking after the family German shepherd dog for my parents. My wife had been traumatised by a GSD as a child and was afraid of them, but living with a well trained but big, daft and friendly one for a while completely altered her view of them.
Similar here - except it was me who had been bitten by a jack russell when young. Mrs Mercs, as she became, came with a rescue collie - with issues. You knew the rules and mutual respect prevailed (like how to remove a food bowl). And that dog is now 17 and a half and can be trusted - not like 15 or even 5 years ago.With regard to situations outside - only let off a dog if its safe (very sad story locally this week - I won't go into detail - but a car was involved) - fenced areas are good. If others come near turn and move away. Don't rely on the 'my dog is ok' from the other party. Territory plays a big part, as with our younger setter.
And wear stout footwear as your first defence - together with a loud voice. Hands are more delicate !! These situations do worry experienced owners - but they are infrequent. You will get to know your dog and dogs its happy with - but never let your guard drop. Go for a rock solid placid breed.
Who'll be walking the dog? As if its you, and I am sorry to say this, but I suspect you'll be a nightmare for other dog walkers, your nervousness could well make your dog nervous and skittish, and end up with a perfectly safe dog "sniffing hello" blowing out of all proportions, simple because of your own fears. If you do get a dog, I would get yourself along to as many puppy training/socialising classes as possible, this might help you as much as your puppy.
Either way think long an hard, dogs need a lot of walking and its not fair to "give it up" or keep it in doors, because you can't cope with running into dogs your nervous about.
Good Luck
Either way think long an hard, dogs need a lot of walking and its not fair to "give it up" or keep it in doors, because you can't cope with running into dogs your nervous about.
Good Luck
I was fearful of dogs, right up until the day we got ours. I was most scared of unsupervised dogs. If I was out for a run, I would avoid quiet lanes where I could imagine a dog around the corner, and even residential areas where I got barked at from behind gates! But I also loved dogs I met, and desperately wanted one.
My visit to the dog shelter helped. A lot of the dogs in our local shelter are loose within the main fence, and I was immediately met by about 15 - 20 dogs of all sizes jumping up all over me! It was like a sudden realisation that, left to their own devices, most of these lovely dogs just wanted to be best friends.
And like you, I was worried that I'd be a useless dog walker. Now after eight months, I've found myself in a few situations where she's been on the receiving end of aggression (nothing awful, I must admit, but the kind of thing that scares her and would have terrified me), and I was much *much* less scared than if I had been on my own. Because now she's the most nervous, and you find yourself in the role of protector, and that makes a big difference. Also, I now 'know' a dog more than I knew any before, and that in itself makes a big difference.
I do hope you're able to get through your fear - the fact that you *want* to like them is a major thing in itself, I would have thought!
My visit to the dog shelter helped. A lot of the dogs in our local shelter are loose within the main fence, and I was immediately met by about 15 - 20 dogs of all sizes jumping up all over me! It was like a sudden realisation that, left to their own devices, most of these lovely dogs just wanted to be best friends.
And like you, I was worried that I'd be a useless dog walker. Now after eight months, I've found myself in a few situations where she's been on the receiving end of aggression (nothing awful, I must admit, but the kind of thing that scares her and would have terrified me), and I was much *much* less scared than if I had been on my own. Because now she's the most nervous, and you find yourself in the role of protector, and that makes a big difference. Also, I now 'know' a dog more than I knew any before, and that in itself makes a big difference.
I do hope you're able to get through your fear - the fact that you *want* to like them is a major thing in itself, I would have thought!
I have been through a similar thing as you.
My OH always wanted a dog, and I knew it was only a matter of time until we got one. My fear wasn't of the dogs themselves but I suffer from a cleanliness based OCD, and dogs were the one of the worst possible things for me to deal with - for a while I wouldn't go near them - and the idea of intentionally going anywhere near what comes out their bum was literally a nightmate for me.
We have a 6 month old puppy now, and have had her since 8 weeks. I am MUCH more comfortable around all dogs, and have no real issues with mine at all. Spend time around a dog from a puppy and I am 100% sure you will be absaloutely fine with it and other dogs on the future.
My OH always wanted a dog, and I knew it was only a matter of time until we got one. My fear wasn't of the dogs themselves but I suffer from a cleanliness based OCD, and dogs were the one of the worst possible things for me to deal with - for a while I wouldn't go near them - and the idea of intentionally going anywhere near what comes out their bum was literally a nightmate for me.
We have a 6 month old puppy now, and have had her since 8 weeks. I am MUCH more comfortable around all dogs, and have no real issues with mine at all. Spend time around a dog from a puppy and I am 100% sure you will be absaloutely fine with it and other dogs on the future.
I have always wanted a dog, always loved the idea of having one, but as I had never had one was fairly nervous around larger breeds.
When I met my OH, she told me she has a German Sheppard, a rescue one that has trust issues, been beaten, wouldnt go near males, was used as a forced breedig dog etc. This made me even more nervous! The first time I met her, she stuck her head around the front door when the OH answered it, saw me and ran.
4 months on, and we are both a hell of alot better, her with males and general safety feeling, she is alot more confident now in all aspects, and I am relaxed, I am the one she comes to to play, when at home and when taking her for a walk. She still gets a safe distance away from other men when walking free from the lead, or will hide in behind me if on the lead. I am now alot more confident with other dogs while out walking her. Bigger dgs tend to be more docile, its the little ones that seem fiestier!
The only way to get used to them is to be around them, facing it head on. I wouldnt be without Sash now, shes gorgeous, a lovely temprement, and loyal! The ownership thing and pack leader comes naturally with understanding your own dog. Last night Sash decided she wanted to try and run down the cliffs (not steep really) but last time she did this, she couldnt (or wouldnt) get back up, so the OH had to run 2 miles along the beach (no seawall etc) with her as the tide came in. Sash responds to a deep powerful voice to get her to stop, and while I have a failry deep voice, when talking to her I am usually in silly bastid baby mode, but stopped her in her tracks... no thought required, just did it!
Get a breed you are comfortable with and enjoy, its something I cant explain, but the joy of ownership is great. Picking up the squits isnt mind
When I met my OH, she told me she has a German Sheppard, a rescue one that has trust issues, been beaten, wouldnt go near males, was used as a forced breedig dog etc. This made me even more nervous! The first time I met her, she stuck her head around the front door when the OH answered it, saw me and ran.
4 months on, and we are both a hell of alot better, her with males and general safety feeling, she is alot more confident now in all aspects, and I am relaxed, I am the one she comes to to play, when at home and when taking her for a walk. She still gets a safe distance away from other men when walking free from the lead, or will hide in behind me if on the lead. I am now alot more confident with other dogs while out walking her. Bigger dgs tend to be more docile, its the little ones that seem fiestier!
The only way to get used to them is to be around them, facing it head on. I wouldnt be without Sash now, shes gorgeous, a lovely temprement, and loyal! The ownership thing and pack leader comes naturally with understanding your own dog. Last night Sash decided she wanted to try and run down the cliffs (not steep really) but last time she did this, she couldnt (or wouldnt) get back up, so the OH had to run 2 miles along the beach (no seawall etc) with her as the tide came in. Sash responds to a deep powerful voice to get her to stop, and while I have a failry deep voice, when talking to her I am usually in silly bastid baby mode, but stopped her in her tracks... no thought required, just did it!
Get a breed you are comfortable with and enjoy, its something I cant explain, but the joy of ownership is great. Picking up the squits isnt mind
Where in the UK are you? Couple of suggestions:
1. Find a local PHer with a big dog/dogs and meet the dog occasionally
2. Some of the breed rescues (funnily enough, inc GSD rescue) have regular walks where they all meet up with their big scary dogs (on leads) and go for a walk. This includes dogs looking for a new home (it helps socialise all the dogs) and the foster carers will be only too pleased to have another pair of hands to hold a lead for them. And if you tell them about yourself upfront, they won't pair you up with the one who savaged a human last week (I *am* joking about that last bit
)
1. Find a local PHer with a big dog/dogs and meet the dog occasionally
2. Some of the breed rescues (funnily enough, inc GSD rescue) have regular walks where they all meet up with their big scary dogs (on leads) and go for a walk. This includes dogs looking for a new home (it helps socialise all the dogs) and the foster carers will be only too pleased to have another pair of hands to hold a lead for them. And if you tell them about yourself upfront, they won't pair you up with the one who savaged a human last week (I *am* joking about that last bit
)Cheers all, so far this is encouraging and the stories of others overcoming their apprehension has helped greatly.
Tbh I'm a bit too embarrassed to approach dog walking groups and such; "Hi I'm no good around dogs, can I walk your dog?' But I appreciated this is probably a sensible approach.
Exposure is what they use for phobias and such isn't it? I think next time I go to the in-laws I'm going to force myself to get to know the Alsatian, it's been three years of them having to lock the poor blighter up every time I visit ffs! I don't trust their Jack Russell at all though tbh.
It's the barking that gets me, I can be totally fine around a large quiet dog but a growl or bark and I'm fixed to the spot, it's an odd sensation to literally be paralysed by a noise. My GF says it doesn't help at all as they can sense the fear. This really helps me as you can imagine.
Thanks again and keep the stories coming if you feel like sharing.
Tbh I'm a bit too embarrassed to approach dog walking groups and such; "Hi I'm no good around dogs, can I walk your dog?'
But I appreciated this is probably a sensible approach.Exposure is what they use for phobias and such isn't it? I think next time I go to the in-laws I'm going to force myself to get to know the Alsatian, it's been three years of them having to lock the poor blighter up every time I visit ffs! I don't trust their Jack Russell at all though tbh.
It's the barking that gets me, I can be totally fine around a large quiet dog but a growl or bark and I'm fixed to the spot, it's an odd sensation to literally be paralysed by a noise. My GF says it doesn't help at all as they can sense the fear. This really helps me as you can imagine.
Thanks again and keep the stories coming if you feel like sharing.
Edited by DoubleSix on Thursday 2nd August 16:30
It really is the best therapy,when I was 7 I was the victim of a nasty attack by an Alsation in the local park,then two years later was attacked by a Black Lab as I cycled past a garden.It came out of the gate bit my thigh very deeply and obviously nasty bike crash followed.
These attacks left me with a terrible phobia of dogs which was never really cured until my parents bought a Dog,this gave me a chance to get to know and have confidence around them.
These attacks left me with a terrible phobia of dogs which was never really cured until my parents bought a Dog,this gave me a chance to get to know and have confidence around them.
DoubleSix said:
Tbh I'm a bit too embarrassed to approach dog walking groups and such; "Hi I'm no good around dogs, can I walk your dog?' But I appreciated this is probably a sensible approach.
Ok, go to your local park, find someone with a happy and friendly dog, and go speak to them. Ask if you can play with their dog and spend time with it etc.. But I appreciated this is probably a sensible approach.You are welcome to visit us if you wish and you can rub the bellies of my dogs, though they will bark at the start.
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