When that final day comes. Do you...

When that final day comes. Do you...

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RDMcG

19,180 posts

208 months

Friday 21st September 2012
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Its interesting reading this. I live in a very dog-froendly part of the city and a surprisingly large numers of people have ashes. On my street in various homes are the ashes of tow shar Peis,six wolfhounds,five bull mastiffs,and a couple of Great Denes.
I am beginning to think I am a freak for havingnno ahses of my dogssmile

mrmaggit

10,146 posts

249 months

Friday 21st September 2012
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Ours always will come back home and are each buried in their favourite place in the garden, or in a place in the garden that I think they would have liked (Slippy was a house rabbit who hated the outside, so he's under the red rose by the bird feeder, so he can have the dropped peanuts, which he loved to eat).

Davel

8,982 posts

259 months

Friday 21st September 2012
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I always bring them home and bury them where we can see their plot.

Mind you, it's a bugger when we move home as you can hardly dig them up again.

grass widow

2,201 posts

224 months

Friday 21st September 2012
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We had our first dog put down at home and we buried him under an oak tree. Most of our cats unfortunately were returned to us dead after being run over and were buried along side the dog. One we had put down at the vets and I had him cremated and got the ashes back and buried him in the garden.

Our last dog we lost during an anesthetic and he was cremated individually and returned to us to be buried under a Maple tree. He has since been joined by 2 rabbits and 2 guinea pigs.

Edited by grass widow on Saturday 22 September 00:17

Simpo Two

85,503 posts

266 months

Friday 21st September 2012
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grass widow said:
He has since been joined by 2 rabbis...
I'm not a fan of rabbis either but burying them in the garden seems a bit harsh.

Albert Bridge

896 posts

194 months

Friday 21st September 2012
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Simpo Two said:
I'm not a fan of rabbis either but burying them in the garden seems a bit harsh.
laugh

grass widow

2,201 posts

224 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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Simpo Two said:
grass widow said:
He has since been joined by 2 rabbis...
I'm not a fan of rabbis either but burying them in the garden seems a bit harsh.
Oops meant rabbits redface

JumboBeef

3,772 posts

178 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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Zelda Pinwheel said:
RDMcG said:
Since I have no interest in being memorialized or buried when I die myself,I take a similar view for pets.Cremate me and scatter the ashed.

I grieve when the bad day comes,I hold the dog while it is euthanized and spend a few minutes before leaving. However,I do not collect the ashes or bury it at home. Mind you,burying a Great Dane would not be a trivial exercise.
this, definitely, and SimpoTwo's comments. We've lost 3 cats so far and none of them came home with us from the vet. I actually couldn't bear the thought of their bodies buried in the garden, must be a childhood thing as none of the family cats ever came home either. Cremation yes, but we don't want the ashes back. I don't need the mortal remains to remind me, that's what photos and memories are for.
^^^^ 100%. I have lost very loved dogs in the past. When they have gone, I want to remember them as the funny loving running around playing dogs I knew. I don't need (or want) to look at a box or a grave to remember them.

A body is just a body. When I'm gone, just put my remains out with the rubbish! Remember me as the living person, and not a cold gravestone in a graveyard.

rovermorris999

5,203 posts

190 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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I always have the deed done at home so the dog is relaxed and unstressed and in familiar surroundings with those it loves and trusts. I then bury them myself in the garden which gives me some sort of closure. I've had to do this three times where I live now and it doesn't get any easier. I can't imagine just leaving them at the vet. The dog has been a loyal companion for years so at the very least you owe them a decent departure.

JumboBeef

3,772 posts

178 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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Albert Bridge said:
I had my beautiful girl individually cremated at CPC in Cambridge. I went to the actual cremation and was given time with her body before she went through... I then waited a few hours and was able to take her ashes home with me. They are beside my bed and whenever I go away they come with me.
With the greatest respect, you need acceptance and closure to come to terms with grief and loss. It sound to me you have reached either of these.

Albert Bridge

896 posts

194 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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JumboBeef said:
With the greatest respect, you need acceptance and closure to come to terms with grief and loss. It sound to me you have reached either of these.
I am guessing here that you meant to write that I HAVEN'T reached either of those.

You are probably right but this is how I am dealing with things and it works for me.

Superficial

753 posts

175 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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We've lost two dogs so far, both had individual cremations (can't stand the thought of group cremations). We buried Hattie's ashes in the garden 8 years ago, but earlier this year we had to move house and couldn't bare the thought of leaving her behind, so we dug down with the intention of taking the plant and surrounding earth we had put over her ashes. Shocked to say we actually found some of her ashes, and not ashamed to say I scooped up every piece I could see carefully with my bare hands. She's now in a plant pot in the garden. Bryn's ashes are still in the little wooden box they were sent home in. We lost him three years ago now and it's still comforting to know he is around in a sense.

Various guinea pigs, hamsters, fish etc were buried in the garden over the years.

I respect everyone grieves differently but surprised that some people don't ever bring their pets home. For me, the time between losing them and getting them back where they belong at home is agonising. In a heartbreaking way, it's a relief when you get the phone call to say the ashes are ready to be collected. Also, I find a major part of accepting what has happened is receiving them back as ashes, albeit hard to get your head around at first.

johnnywgk

2,579 posts

183 months

Saturday 22nd September 2012
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You lot make little Johnny cry

JumboBeef

3,772 posts

178 months

Sunday 23rd September 2012
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Albert Bridge said:
JumboBeef said:
With the greatest respect, you need acceptance and closure to come to terms with grief and loss. It sound to me you have reached either of these.
I am guessing here that you meant to write that I HAVEN'T reached either of those.

You are probably right but this is how I am dealing with things and it works for me.
Yes, I did mean "haven't". D'oh.

The only way to heal is to work through your grief, otherwise you will be forever grieving and that isn't healthy. I have been there, the last time was only 6 months ago.

All the best.

13th

3,169 posts

214 months

Sunday 23rd September 2012
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When we lost Zeus, who really lived up to his name as a God; it was sudden, he was 5 years old.

He was very well trained, he would walk with me, never taking his eyes of me, unless he was given the "play" signal, he would swim with me, came to work with me and I loved him more than I can put in to words.

I've only seen my husband cry twice, his fathers death and when we lost Zeus.

The night he died, I stayed with his body, wrapped him up in my favourite snuggle and next day we took him to be cremated.

I know I've said all that before but it sometimes helps just to type.

RIP Zeus and we are looking after your little girl Kira xxx