Discussion
Thanks again and I'm sorry to others who have been through the same.I never realised how tough this would be.I dealt with old age taking away my first cat rather admirably, was the same with our 80+ year old African Grey and will cope just as well when our 25 year old Chinchillas time comes.But this....
The most frustrating thing for us is that Ronnie was far less of an adventurer than Reggie.He would have the odd couple of hour stints of not coming home, but was almost always popping back in to see you and was so affectionate when he did.Sometimes he gave you a look which was almost human and would rub noses with you as if he was saying how much he loved you back.
It's also so frustrating that we have a wooded area directly behind our house which has a lovely large grass bank in front of it and if you ever called them, they would come bounding out of the coppiced area together.It was fantastic watching them play together on the bank last summer.I rarely ever saw them at the front of the house near the road and even when I did, never in a million years did I think that there would be a chance of a freak accident.I just can't get over the fact that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.Seconds wasted or gained during the entire course of that day by me, him, or the van driver could have meant another 15+ summers for him.I know you can say the same about many accident etc, but it's the first time in my life I have really tortured myself with those "if only.." thoughts.
Today we have been in contact with a local cat rescue centre and have had a chat with them about our situation.The lady on the phone was very kind and understanding (just as you have all been) and offered advice based on her experiences.They have several cats available for a small donation and have assured us that if we wished to try with another kitty and it didn't work out, they would be more than happy to take them back.You can tell she was a cat lover and has a particular female cat of around 18 months old who we think might be worth offering a home to.
We decided 100% to at least try and get Reggie another playmate.He was always quite good with other cats and the cat at the rescue centre sounds much the same.Of course, there is no guarantee that this will work out, but we are prepared to try.Reggie also seems to have settled down after we showed him the body of Ronnie, so I appreciate the advice on that front.I don't want to appear as though we are rushing in to this decision, but the house feels half empty, our hearts are broken and Reggie still spins his head round at the slightest noise and I know it's primarliy to see if his Brother is about to pull a sneaky Kato move on him.
It would be a week or so before we could collect the cat in question, so I will update again with what we decide.I have read people suggesting a kitten or younger cat is ideal to stop any alpha male type scenarios, but for every post I read suggesting this, there are other success stories of people mixing and matching all sorts of other age groups.It would appear that introducing a new female to another female is often doomed to fail, but boy + boy, or, boy + female can work so long as you tailor to their needs and follow some of the advice for these situations.
Thank you all again and sorry for the extended waffle.
The most frustrating thing for us is that Ronnie was far less of an adventurer than Reggie.He would have the odd couple of hour stints of not coming home, but was almost always popping back in to see you and was so affectionate when he did.Sometimes he gave you a look which was almost human and would rub noses with you as if he was saying how much he loved you back.
It's also so frustrating that we have a wooded area directly behind our house which has a lovely large grass bank in front of it and if you ever called them, they would come bounding out of the coppiced area together.It was fantastic watching them play together on the bank last summer.I rarely ever saw them at the front of the house near the road and even when I did, never in a million years did I think that there would be a chance of a freak accident.I just can't get over the fact that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.Seconds wasted or gained during the entire course of that day by me, him, or the van driver could have meant another 15+ summers for him.I know you can say the same about many accident etc, but it's the first time in my life I have really tortured myself with those "if only.." thoughts.
Today we have been in contact with a local cat rescue centre and have had a chat with them about our situation.The lady on the phone was very kind and understanding (just as you have all been) and offered advice based on her experiences.They have several cats available for a small donation and have assured us that if we wished to try with another kitty and it didn't work out, they would be more than happy to take them back.You can tell she was a cat lover and has a particular female cat of around 18 months old who we think might be worth offering a home to.
We decided 100% to at least try and get Reggie another playmate.He was always quite good with other cats and the cat at the rescue centre sounds much the same.Of course, there is no guarantee that this will work out, but we are prepared to try.Reggie also seems to have settled down after we showed him the body of Ronnie, so I appreciate the advice on that front.I don't want to appear as though we are rushing in to this decision, but the house feels half empty, our hearts are broken and Reggie still spins his head round at the slightest noise and I know it's primarliy to see if his Brother is about to pull a sneaky Kato move on him.
It would be a week or so before we could collect the cat in question, so I will update again with what we decide.I have read people suggesting a kitten or younger cat is ideal to stop any alpha male type scenarios, but for every post I read suggesting this, there are other success stories of people mixing and matching all sorts of other age groups.It would appear that introducing a new female to another female is often doomed to fail, but boy + boy, or, boy + female can work so long as you tailor to their needs and follow some of the advice for these situations.
Thank you all again and sorry for the extended waffle.
As you say it is ultimately matter of luck/bad luck, ie timing. I was coming home after dark last year and was only a few hundred yards from home when a small shadow shot out in front of me. I stamped on the brakes (one of the few times I've had to do a real emergency stop) and missed it by inches - but had it set off half a second later or had I been distracted by a passenger it would have been flattened. And so for every cat that is unlucky once, you have to think of all the thousands of times it wasn't. Same goes for people too.
I am very sorry to read of your loss Digby.
You know your situation and your cat and you'll know if its right to bring another one in. We didnt when Indiana Jones was put down after lymphatic cancer and Pegerty (half sister) turned from a relatively stand offish cat to the friendliest contented cat until her fate was the same as her sister a good few years later. I'm glad we didnt and have waited to get two new cats years later.
You know your situation and your cat and you'll know if its right to bring another one in. We didnt when Indiana Jones was put down after lymphatic cancer and Pegerty (half sister) turned from a relatively stand offish cat to the friendliest contented cat until her fate was the same as her sister a good few years later. I'm glad we didnt and have waited to get two new cats years later.
Digby, I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember seeing you post pictures of them both as kittens, it doesn't feel that long ago at all 
I remember because the pair of them were pretty much identical to mine, and I posted a pic saying 'here's how they'll look when they are older'.
So sad. He was a beautiful cat. I hope you're ok.
I remember because the pair of them were pretty much identical to mine, and I posted a pic saying 'here's how they'll look when they are older'.So sad. He was a beautiful cat. I hope you're ok.
ali_kat said:
Please, don't go through the what if scenarios - it only makes things worse & torture yourself
This is good advice. I've lost a few cats through illness and accident. You can't dwell on it for too long. the way I get round it is to go to my local animal shelter type place and get me a new one.Thanks everyone.I think both of us are at least getting over the shock a little more.The loss, of course, still feels very raw.
We stood by our back fence talking to another neighbour yesterday about how his 15+ year old cat was run over and put down several years ago and as we stood there talking about this and poor Ronnie, we saw Reggie leap a 6 foot fence and run straight down in front of us and then straight across the road.I actually held my breath for a few moments and then spent the next ten minutes in a bit of a panic as I could see him hiding under a car opposite which meant the odd car that passed by was only inches from his face.If he had run out on a dark evening from that spot and a car was passing...
We have a sort of private drive which feeds the rear of a few houses here and if our cats leave our garden and turn left, they have the lovely grass bank and wooder area to play in, if they turn right, after 20 yards, it's a road.I love the idea of a sort of cat enclosure garden, but I don't think it would be possible here.Due to the hilly nature, split levels and layouts of the gardens of the detached houses, I don't think there is anything we could do to keep them in.Ronnie - who was much larger than Reggie and not as nimble - used to leap the 6 to 8 feet brick walls of houses further up the driveway with ease.I think we would have to surround ourselves on all sides with prison walls!
We stood by our back fence talking to another neighbour yesterday about how his 15+ year old cat was run over and put down several years ago and as we stood there talking about this and poor Ronnie, we saw Reggie leap a 6 foot fence and run straight down in front of us and then straight across the road.I actually held my breath for a few moments and then spent the next ten minutes in a bit of a panic as I could see him hiding under a car opposite which meant the odd car that passed by was only inches from his face.If he had run out on a dark evening from that spot and a car was passing...
We have a sort of private drive which feeds the rear of a few houses here and if our cats leave our garden and turn left, they have the lovely grass bank and wooder area to play in, if they turn right, after 20 yards, it's a road.I love the idea of a sort of cat enclosure garden, but I don't think it would be possible here.Due to the hilly nature, split levels and layouts of the gardens of the detached houses, I don't think there is anything we could do to keep them in.Ronnie - who was much larger than Reggie and not as nimble - used to leap the 6 to 8 feet brick walls of houses further up the driveway with ease.I think we would have to surround ourselves on all sides with prison walls!
We live 50 feet from one of Nottinghams' main roads, fortunately there is a 10 ft high bank between us, and neither cat goes past the top of the bank. oh, except for Guzzi a couple of years ago, when he got carried away chasing a rat.
Guzzi prefers the neighbours gardens (they all think he's cute) and Peep stays in, except for her daily walk to the "poo tree".
Guzzi prefers the neighbours gardens (they all think he's cute) and Peep stays in, except for her daily walk to the "poo tree".
Mr Pies said:
So sorry for your loss. What a truly beautiful looking boy. I take it they're bengals?
Nothing so grand I'm afraid! The Mother was a regular Tabby.We never actually knew who the Father was as my friends cat had a litter before she was spayed and we were offered two for free.We took her up on her offer and ended up with two beautiful boys.Ronnie was the more regular Tabby colour and Ronnie looks more like a Silver Tabby imho!It's amazing how they can reduce grown men to tears (I'm a stocky 42 year old HGV driver now for goodness sake!). I met up with a few car club members today and some of the guys there said they were exactly the same.I guess it just shows how much love we all had for our pets.Even cancelling the pet insurance set me and my little lady off again.We have also caught Reggie sat beside Ronnies grave a few times now.I know there is a chance he may just be inquisitive as to what it is, but he sat there watching as my Dad buried Ronnie and of course, in our minds, we think he is simply waiting for his Brother to appear.That will be another order of tears then..
We are trying to be brave for Reggie as they say they can pick up on your moods etc, but he lept on the bed this morning after my wife had been crying for a while and licked her tears.Again, we know to him it was undoubtedly nothing more than an "oh, what is this mysterious liquid?" moment, but your mind tells you he is trying to tell you not to be so sad...and the water works begin all over again.It also doesn't help that a cat we took in some time ago and reunited with his owner after several months of being missing, suffered the exact same fate as Ronnie a few days later.And Ronnie and Reggies other Brother from the litter died from antifreeze poisoning last year
I am currently torn between not letting Ronnie out on these dark winter evenings (they were almost always in before 8.00pm of their own accord anyway) or, just letting him do as he pleases from around 4.00pm when I get in from work.I would like to think that daylight would at least offer more of a chance for a driver to see a cat run across a road, but then I guess just as many are killed in those situations, so maybe it's unfair on him to change the routine now.I don't want to be overly protective, but at the moment, as you can imagine, I am quite terrified when I call him and he doesn't appear within a reasonable amount of time.Even seeing the security light kick in at the back of the house makes me feel quite elated at the moment as I know it's going to be him setting it off.
Anyway, if all goes to plan, we should be picking up a similar aged female cat called Ally next weekend.We will need to take our time to let her settle in etc and I hope they can become friends and keep each other company in the long run.We may have our work cut out, I appreciate that, but I feel it's worth the effort.I will let you know how things progress! Thanks yet again for the support and sorry once more for all those who know how these situations feel.
Edited by Digby on Sunday 6th January 23:36
I'd be tempted to keep him in for a while.
That way he won't associate Ally's arrival with being kept in (difficult to keep one in & let the other out!) or run off if you let him out because he doesn't like his house being invaded
I lost Chilli in daylight & Bast in the dark - same road 2years apart
Mine don't go out now, although admittedly one is blind!
That way he won't associate Ally's arrival with being kept in (difficult to keep one in & let the other out!) or run off if you let him out because he doesn't like his house being invaded
I lost Chilli in daylight & Bast in the dark - same road 2years apart
Mine don't go out now, although admittedly one is blind!
I struggle to let mine out now I lost my gorgeous boy on the road right outside here, and when I do it is only at weekends when this road is a bit quieter than it is in the week.
My kittens (9months) have so far not been allowed out, and I'm struggling to find a good enough reason to let them go out. They have all the toys they need in the house and are always charging about using engery, so why let them out and risk them?
It would be harder to keep the other three in as they have previously been out, but even they know now from our routine when it is a weekend, and therefore when they go out or just go and play instead in the house.
A possible change in my garden boundary in the future might mean I can install pur-fect fencing and then they can go out in the garden whenever they want, and not be able to get out.
My kittens (9months) have so far not been allowed out, and I'm struggling to find a good enough reason to let them go out. They have all the toys they need in the house and are always charging about using engery, so why let them out and risk them?
It would be harder to keep the other three in as they have previously been out, but even they know now from our routine when it is a weekend, and therefore when they go out or just go and play instead in the house.
A possible change in my garden boundary in the future might mean I can install pur-fect fencing and then they can go out in the garden whenever they want, and not be able to get out.
Well, here's Ally (or Alley I guess seeing as that's where she was rescued from).Not sure of her age as it turns out, but it's under two years.
She's very nervous at the moment and has been hiding quite a lot, but after putting in four to five hours effort tonight, she was having a wander about and had a bit of a play with some toys.She loves a stroke and a tickle and happily rolls over and enjoys a belly rub.
She can also purr for England!
Reggie is still hissing now and then, but the more we get them in the same room, the less that seems to happen and Ally doesn't seem bothered about his protests at all.We are not rushing the situation and it can take as long as it takes for them to get along.I have even booked some time off work to keep them both company!
She's very nervous at the moment and has been hiding quite a lot, but after putting in four to five hours effort tonight, she was having a wander about and had a bit of a play with some toys.She loves a stroke and a tickle and happily rolls over and enjoys a belly rub.
She can also purr for England!
Reggie is still hissing now and then, but the more we get them in the same room, the less that seems to happen and Ally doesn't seem bothered about his protests at all.We are not rushing the situation and it can take as long as it takes for them to get along.I have even booked some time off work to keep them both company!
she looks lovely. All sounds good so far 
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