Coping with grief
Discussion
RDMcG said:
I have had many dogs in my life, and when a new pup arrives I feel joy and sadness.
They are such brief visitors....the crazy puppyhood, the vigorous youth,. the calmness of maturity and the absolute grace of growing old...the trust of years of companionship,. the increasing love and closeness and the slowing down...the softness of the last years, the tenderness of the last days, the tears of the last hours, and the agony of goodbye.
Yet, we do it again and again, because the house is dead and empty when there is no breathing, trusting, stupidly loving creature to live its life with us. My beautiful Dane is six now...and I can see the greyness. I have alway been there to hold my dog in the last seconds, and it never gets easier.
The joy is worth it though...always will be.
They are such brief visitors. I've rescued dogs for a lot of years as I've believed that rescue dogs need someone to give them waht others have failed to . They are such brief visitors....the crazy puppyhood, the vigorous youth,. the calmness of maturity and the absolute grace of growing old...the trust of years of companionship,. the increasing love and closeness and the slowing down...the softness of the last years, the tenderness of the last days, the tears of the last hours, and the agony of goodbye.
Yet, we do it again and again, because the house is dead and empty when there is no breathing, trusting, stupidly loving creature to live its life with us. My beautiful Dane is six now...and I can see the greyness. I have alway been there to hold my dog in the last seconds, and it never gets easier.
The joy is worth it though...always will be.
Lady- a GS/Lab cross sat outside our house with a bone. A kid walked past, she'd stop gnawing on the bone, wag her tail and ask the kid to hold it for her. Regular occurrence to see her on the grass out back of our house with a passing kid holding her bone. Few years later, son 1 was born, and Lady was found on the sofa, outside son, preventing him falling off sofa. It broke my hart to part with her when I was offered a very lucrative job in Africa. I'll pass over the African guard dogs and back to UK, where I rescued an old Collie cross. I broke my heart when she suffered as a passenger in a rear end shunt.
Twenty years later ,i recovered to home am old Cairn. A grumpy old boy, he lived for a fw more years, but he suffered from some sort of internal non operational cancer and had to be PTS. Next came Shona- Wheaten cairn. Beautiful well bred Cairn. A wow with the boys. She'd been a breed b
h on a Welsh puppy farm. For six or more years , she lived in my home and loved every kid from daughters & DIL to great great grand daughter. One day, Shona started limping . Vet found nothing. Two days later, she collapsed in pain and wet her bed. She could not support her back end. VET. IT was found that there was a spinal problem. Two choices- long term treatment or short PTS. Shona said "I've had it, PLEASE end it".Out of love I did what came as a hurt to me, but a relief to her. A few month later, Lexi spotted us. I'm a strong believer in fate, but did a little lass smile down from on high ,and guide us together. I'll never know, but a lot of folk had been interested in Lexi. But we were the folks that Lexi took to . Many had tried, but we were the chosen ones. We go round our park, where Shona loved to walk and meet dogs of all sizes, and Lexi is accepted by all of Shona's old friends. Lexi seldom needs to be on lead, as she's so bothered about other humans. She's getting better at meeting other owners. Dogs, she has no problems with, it's letting the owners pat her. So what has her past thrown up? And WHY should dogs have to get to this stage /
tedmus said:
moorx said:
tedmus said:
Exactly.
We lost our third rescue (Ruby) suddenly last week, no warning signs, she collapsed and we rushed her to the vets. She passed on the lap of my partner in the back of the car as we were trying to transfer her to another branch that had better facilities. She was in a bad way, they think she had a splenetic tumour that had ruptured. Gone within an hour or so of us taking her to our vets. Had only been with us around 12 months and still revealing traits of her character that we hadn't seen. We're both gutted.
Just over 12 months previously we lost our second rescue after a battle with cancer. The same thing happened with her initially but we caught it in time and after a few ops and chemo she managed to survive a few years before finally succumbing, cancer had spread to her liver and we resorted to palliative care until we had to make the decision to let her go. She came to us after we lost our first rescue suddenly after her being with us around 5 years.
We hadn't really gotten over either of them leaving us before taking on the next but the reasons to take on another were twofold. We have another dog who had lived with a friend since he was 12 months old and we had space (both in heart and home) to rehome another dog in need.
Hopefully we'll be taking in another should we be able to find the right one.
We still talk fondly and remember the dogs we have lost (occasional tears), we helped them in their time of need and hopefully gave them a happy life whilst they were with us, as hard and cruel as it was to lose them that means a lot.
Really sorry to hear this, how awful. I have lost two dogs to splenic tumours, it's horrible.We lost our third rescue (Ruby) suddenly last week, no warning signs, she collapsed and we rushed her to the vets. She passed on the lap of my partner in the back of the car as we were trying to transfer her to another branch that had better facilities. She was in a bad way, they think she had a splenetic tumour that had ruptured. Gone within an hour or so of us taking her to our vets. Had only been with us around 12 months and still revealing traits of her character that we hadn't seen. We're both gutted.
Just over 12 months previously we lost our second rescue after a battle with cancer. The same thing happened with her initially but we caught it in time and after a few ops and chemo she managed to survive a few years before finally succumbing, cancer had spread to her liver and we resorted to palliative care until we had to make the decision to let her go. She came to us after we lost our first rescue suddenly after her being with us around 5 years.
We hadn't really gotten over either of them leaving us before taking on the next but the reasons to take on another were twofold. We have another dog who had lived with a friend since he was 12 months old and we had space (both in heart and home) to rehome another dog in need.
Hopefully we'll be taking in another should we be able to find the right one.
We still talk fondly and remember the dogs we have lost (occasional tears), we helped them in their time of need and hopefully gave them a happy life whilst they were with us, as hard and cruel as it was to lose them that means a lot.
Been with me from a pup, 15 years old. Had trouble with his back (3 ruptured discs) and suffering from doggy dementia, was on meds for both.
A little trooper and a real character, we are beyond gutted, just numb at the moment.
My little man.
moorx said:
I'm so very sorry, I'm not surprised you feel numb. My condolences.
Thank you, very kind words.Been a really tough last couple of weeks. We knew we had limited time with the old boy but it was such a shock the way it panned out. He had seen off 3 rescue girls, felt like he would be going on forever. He had a great life and brought us so much happiness. Such a little character and everybodies best mate, he loved people.
Wish we could have had more time with Ruby. A complicated little thing and was still revealing bits of her character before she went. A very loving and funny little dog and an expert at the staffy "woogle".
The house has been awful without a dog in it, no greeting when you come in or get up in the morning.
We have a new rescue incoming, we have the space and the love to give and so many dogs out there needing a home.
A new home for Christmas, wonderful.New rescue girl arrived today.
Mum was a staffy and dad was a big boxer cross thing apparently, just over 12 months old. She's reactive to dogs when out on lead so will have to work on that but she is a sweetie, needs some beef putting on her.
Very playful, loves her toys, especially her ball.
Apparently she lived with her mum and dad but was getting a bit too big for her boots and being bossy/aggro with them so her owners gave her up. She was then rehomed briefly but then her new owners gave her up again after she dug a hole in the garden, the new owner then proceeded to tell her off and was pointing right in her face with a gardening gloved hand and she snatched the glove away.
Life must be very confusing for her right now but she'll settle down, she's going nowhere else now.
Very biddable and food orientated so hopefully should be easy to train.
Mum was a staffy and dad was a big boxer cross thing apparently, just over 12 months old. She's reactive to dogs when out on lead so will have to work on that but she is a sweetie, needs some beef putting on her.
Very playful, loves her toys, especially her ball.
Apparently she lived with her mum and dad but was getting a bit too big for her boots and being bossy/aggro with them so her owners gave her up. She was then rehomed briefly but then her new owners gave her up again after she dug a hole in the garden, the new owner then proceeded to tell her off and was pointing right in her face with a gardening gloved hand and she snatched the glove away.
Life must be very confusing for her right now but she'll settle down, she's going nowhere else now.
Very biddable and food orientated so hopefully should be easy to train.
LordHaveMurci said:
Best of luck tedmus, I can only imagine what a bundle of nutty fun you must have on your hands 
One way of describing her, definitely more boxer than staffy methinks!moorx said:
^ This. What a lovely looking girl she is 
Thank you Benny (brindle) and Ruby
Edited by tedmus on Saturday 23 November 22:11
Loverly looking girl. The mix of breeds should give a loving dog. But the act of last owner will remain in the dog's memory. Hopefully the grab of the glove was a play gesture. I've got one that is terrified of things like umbrellas and strangers. But she's showing signs as when she meets teenagers who have dogs and approach her with respect. I've always maintained that rescue dogs come with baggage. Some more than others. It's up to us as rescuers to figure it out, as the dogs wil only open up to us, the ones they trust.
I read your posts and feel great sympathy for your pain. It must have been gut wrenching to lose such a close friend.
My wife (mainly my amazing wife!) and I are “Puppy Walkers” for Guide Dogs. We go through a cycle of many of the emotions you have described with each pup and after a year or so go through the trauma of having to give them back to go onto advanced training. Each time we have to go through the pain of watching them leave with ‘The puppy snatcher’ we wonder why we do it. Then of course we hear of their success (hopefully) and learn how they are doing a wonderful job and bonding with their new owner. My point long winded though it is, is that our dogs whatever their reason being here only want to be loved, secure, fed and have a purpose. Lady clearly had all of that in her life and will have crossed the rainbow bridge freely fulfilled and content with her life. It seems that for Lady you achieved all that she needed and more so despite the inevitable pain of the parting please (when you’re recharged and ready)) do it again for another pup, there I are many out their that need you.
My wife (mainly my amazing wife!) and I are “Puppy Walkers” for Guide Dogs. We go through a cycle of many of the emotions you have described with each pup and after a year or so go through the trauma of having to give them back to go onto advanced training. Each time we have to go through the pain of watching them leave with ‘The puppy snatcher’ we wonder why we do it. Then of course we hear of their success (hopefully) and learn how they are doing a wonderful job and bonding with their new owner. My point long winded though it is, is that our dogs whatever their reason being here only want to be loved, secure, fed and have a purpose. Lady clearly had all of that in her life and will have crossed the rainbow bridge freely fulfilled and content with her life. It seems that for Lady you achieved all that she needed and more so despite the inevitable pain of the parting please (when you’re recharged and ready)) do it again for another pup, there I are many out their that need you.
Gassing Station | All Creatures Great & Small | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff