How do you know when to let go?

How do you know when to let go?

Author
Discussion

smashie

665 posts

118 months

Tuesday 9th March
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I was the same with my Collie. He has epilepsy. How on earth would I know when the right time was? Well as it turned out, you just do.
You never forget them. I still get just as upset thinking about my Collie who passed in 2016 as I do my mum who passed Boxing day 2019.

UTH

2,822 posts

145 months

Thursday 11th March
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Screw this, can't even read half this thread without choking up.

Feel so sorry for you OP, as per my thread I just posted about my cats, DREADING any conversation/decisions I'll have to make along these lines, hopefully a long way off yet.

All the best with however it pans out.

davhill

5,055 posts

151 months

Thursday 11th March
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As many have said in the past, making the best choice for a pet
is part and parcel of the experience.

I've had to do this a few times and there's no call to go into
detail. Suffice it to say that the pets involved had reached
the end of their respective roads.

It helped me to think of the pets as being sentient, which was
very easy with some of them. I'd imagine what the dog or cat
would do for me, were the positions reversed.

IMHO, the salient point is that in taking away the pain, discomfort
and/or fear you're performing a service for your pet. It may be
the final service and it'll probably constitute help that's beyond any
other help.

PugwasHDJ80

Original Poster:

7,318 posts

188 months

Friday 12th March
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Thank you everybody for all your care and empathy- I've read all your replies and they have all helped.

He's been perkier this week, so we're ok for now.

If its ok, I'll share any news.

Thevet

1,558 posts

200 months

Friday 12th March
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It's never easy, there are really no black and white rules, obviously freedom from pain is important, but my joints hurt me most of the time now and I don't want to be bumped just yet (my junior vets might disagree). I often try to put myself in the animal's position, what would they want if they could choose knowing what we do about outcomes etc. If your pooch has improved a bit then maybe now isn't right but sadly it is coming. Look after your friend as best you can, follow both your heart and your head.

Who me ?

7,288 posts

179 months

Friday 12th March
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For a dog- just look at their eyes. I rescued a Cairn circa 8 years ago. She'd been a breed bh for ( from my groomers estimate) four or more years and at every season. The coat was in terrible condition, but my groomer worked on it. It was my dogs place of relaxation. Shona loved her beauty days and then her trip back to the reality of home.
Come Saturday, she lay in her bed covered in pee, with her rear end immobilised. I took her out to let her relieve herself. She looked at me and tried to crawl under some bushes. Next step vet, where she could only plead with me "finish it" her eyes said. When those eyes plead, there is only one answer. She'd never asked so loudly for anything in the years I'd owned her. Think of it not as a duty, but as a last request.
Today, I have what I suspect is a JRT/Cairn/Westy cross. Or is the fact that my JRT x will not go walkies leaving a ful plate of mince .

fttm

2,398 posts

102 months

Monday 5th April
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fttm said:
It is an awful decision but I believe you already know the answer . Having been here before I fully understand how you feel , but realistically it’s all about the quality of life and it sounds like your dog is missing out . I have an 11 yr old GS and I fully expect to have my heart broken in the next while , you’re not alone fella . When our last girl went I walked into the kitchen in a flood of tears and said to my wife “now is the time “, she protested but a few hours later agreed , it was done the next day . Only thinking of her this afternoon and it was tough , dags eh ?

Edited by fttm on Monday 8th March 01:52
...and out of the blue here we are . Megan didn't want her food on Friday which was a bit concerning but sometimes
that happens with dogs , Saturday the same and there was something amiss so we got her into the vets at 0930 , they kept her for a few tests then called us at noon to say she had abdominal cancer with a matter of days left , talk about being knocked sideways . We collected her at 4 and although she seemed anxious she eventually calmed down and had a decent sleep . Today she has been very peaceful whilst slipping further away , no on call vet either so she will be put to sleep tomorrow surrounded by her family . Can't fathom the hero to zero speed that she has been hit with , she will not suffer as we owe her too much for the pleasure she has brought us . Gutted to say the least

RDMcG

16,434 posts

174 months

Monday 5th April
quotequote all
fttm said:
...and out of the blue here we are . Megan didn't want her food on Friday which was a bit concerning but sometimes
that happens with dogs , Saturday the same and there was something amiss so we got her into the vets at 0930 , they kept her for a few tests then called us at noon to say she had abdominal cancer with a matter of days left , talk about being knocked sideways . We collected her at 4 and although she seemed anxious she eventually calmed down and had a decent sleep . Today she has been very peaceful whilst slipping further away , no on call vet either so she will be put to sleep tomorrow surrounded by her family . Can't fathom the hero to zero speed that she has been hit with , she will not suffer as we owe her too much for the pleasure she has brought us . Gutted to say the least
It is a heartbreaking moment. I am so sorry that it has arrived. I have been with my dogs in their last moments and am grateful for every joyous times they have brought me. The trust will always be there, the love from your dog even at the end, and when the time comes it will be peaceful.

garythesign

1,247 posts

55 months

Monday 5th April
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We have had dogs that have died suddenly as well as some that have slowly deteriorated.

It hurts the same either way.

RIP Megan

moorx

2,383 posts

81 months

Monday 5th April
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I am so very sorry frown

Godspeed Megan and virtual hugs to those who will miss you.

crofty1984

15,219 posts

171 months

Wednesday 7th April
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Turn7 said:
To save the clicky linky.....

I don't even have a dog and I got all teary!


rxe

5,251 posts

70 months

Thursday 8th April
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We have a nearly 11 year old GSD who is slowing down quite a bit. A long walk (a few miles) does for her for a day or two. She's stiff, a bit weak in the back end, but actually, as GSDs go, she's OK. (actually the vet thinks she is brilliant compared to some of the GSDs that are in trouble at the age of 6)

What we are watching for is a lack of enthusiasm. At the moment, she is still excited by the idea of going for a walk, and bounds around initially (which is how she hurts herself). Once that enthusiasm goes, I will be worried. Painkillers have gone from "occasional" to "quite often".

UTH

2,822 posts

145 months

Thursday 8th April
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
Turn7 said:
To save the clicky linky.....

I don't even have a dog and I got all teary!
Yep, that got me.

TwigtheWonderkid

35,949 posts

117 months

Monday 12th April
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Mexican cuties

602 posts

89 months

Wednesday 14th April
quotequote all
feel for you all, still gets us when we lost our little Nali, unexpectedly in January, we just wish we had the chance to fuss him for the last few days, then let him go peacefully, will never forget that mad dash from our vets to the emergency vets, and waiting whilst they brought him back to life, only to get the call 2am to say its time, nothing they could do. every day we wish we had just sat in the car at the vets with him and let him go. think we was in shock to say the least, just went downhill so quick even though previous visit to emergency vets at 3am, sent him home saying he was fine. will never ignore the fact again if they dont want the breakfast they would usually devour in minutes, or the fact he wouldnt settle.

needless to say our 14 year old moggie, who is still comfortable, eating and still trying very lamely to catch birds, is being fussed to bits. After her this would be our first ever empty house, so will see how we feel nearer the time. dont think we could go through that heartache again.

hugs to you all, if you have the chance to plan it, would take that opportunity by the hands all day every day


Skyedriver

12,069 posts

249 months

Thursday 15th April
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crofty1984 said:
Turn7 said:
To save the clicky linky.....

I don't even have a dog and I got all teary!
6 weeks since we said goodbye to Daisy and that got me again.

irc

2,194 posts

103 months

Thursday 15th April
quotequote all
Steve Sanderson has a series of "lost companion" prints that show ghost dogs and their owner.

Like ""SHE'S A LOVELY PUP, PLAYS ON HER OWN FOR HOURS..."

https://i.etsystatic.com/17512336/r/il/115aef/1492...

Howard-

4,503 posts

169 months

Friday 16th April
quotequote all
Turn7 said:
To save the clicky linky.....

Oh lord cryfrown

UTH

2,822 posts

145 months

Friday 16th April
quotequote all
Howard- said:
Turn7 said:
To save the clicky linky.....

Oh lord cryfrown
If I ever become an actor and need to cry on cue, this will be my go to!

PugwasHDJ80

Original Poster:

7,318 posts

188 months

Saturday 12th June
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So we took barney to the vets this morning and I'm still sobbing like a baby- pretty much all day now.

He had stopped eating a couple of days ago and just lay quietly, he couldn't walk and it broke my heart to carry him to the vets- he slipped away quietly and very quickly in my arms along with our 8 year old daughter.

A massive whole in my heart just opened up- he had been with us 15 years, and some of those were really tough, he was a present from my best friends parents who had looked after me as a teenager and who have now died themselves. I miss him like a physical pain already, he had been through so much with us, always there, always loving, always crazy. He would happily go for a ten mile walk or sit on your lap and rest his head against yours.

The house is quiet, his bed is empty, i went to let him back in this evening before remembering.

I don't know when my wife or i will stop crying, but oh god i didn't expect to miss him this much.

So much sadness.