Longleat Safari - will my car be destroyed?
Discussion
ukaskew said:
Went through once, thought it was amusing taking pictures of the misfortune of others...
Then I lost my aerial and saw a Mondeo losing the entire rubber seal around the windscreen.
We go several times per year now, but always skip the monkey bit.
Rubber seal on a Mondeo? It's got plastic trim on the 'A' pillar, but I'm fairly sure that ALL Mondeos have a bonded windscreen?Then I lost my aerial and saw a Mondeo losing the entire rubber seal around the windscreen.
We go several times per year now, but always skip the monkey bit.
Anyway, I had a 1982 'X' plate Cortina. That DEFINITELY had a rubber seal around the screen. And within that seal, on the outside, was pressed in a 'chrome effect' plastic trim strip. The little beggars had that away pretty sharpish.
I took my '12' plate Mondeo through last year when we visited. I got through OK, but you need to keep moving fast enough to prevent them climbing aboard. I managed it, but there were a couple of drivers being dicks, seemingly keen to make the car behind then come to a stop. I'd probably not risk it again,especially if it's busy. As many have said, you can opt to cut out the Monkey Enclosure and watch other people getting their cars torn apart from the relative safety of the other side of the fence.
Went years ago in a Chrysler Voyager and I hadn't locked the doors.
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
Miner49er said:
Went years ago in a Chrysler Voyager and I hadn't locked the doors.
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
LordHaveMurci said:
Miner49er said:
Went years ago in a Chrysler Voyager and I hadn't locked the doors.
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
I haven't ventured in there when I have been, in my view there has been generations of monkeys born, raised and educated by others in that pen and they're prefectly trained to destroy cars.
Butter Face said:
That's ace
I haven't ventured in there when I have been, in my view there has been generations of monkeys born, raised and educated by others in that pen and they're prefectly trained to destroy cars.
You're not far wrong. The monkeys at Knowsley Safari Park close to where we live are like an F1 pit crew. I swear they hold seminars after hours. I haven't ventured in there when I have been, in my view there has been generations of monkeys born, raised and educated by others in that pen and they're prefectly trained to destroy cars.
We often sit parked up outside the monkey cage, laughing at all the cars blindly wandering in. Within about five seconds a team of monkeys will ambush them from a hide, two on each end and one on top. Off come the number plates (unceremoniously launched into the air behind them), then the wipers and aerial, and finally they start at the door handles and wing mirrors. Most cars are moving hastily forward by that point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFUHD8uf5Ho
Follow this chap's advice and you can't go wrong.
(NSFW rude word)
Follow this chap's advice and you can't go wrong.
(NSFW rude word)
Just bypass the monkey enclosure. I have seen them pull out windscreen washers with the pipework. Basically anything that's not properly secured will be attacked. There's plenty to see without taking the risk, and you can see them removing bits of other peoples cars from the adjoining paddock 
Did Longleat a few years ago, no issues with the monkeys (not so the car in front, very funny!) and wasn't that fussed as I was in a high mileage 306 at the time, however at West Midlands Safari park last year faced with a full adult rhino walking towards the car I was sh*tting myself, it only had to move it's head an inch and it would have been a very expensive day out (Audi Avant). Ever since then I've said any safari days and it's the wifes car!
I was there a few weeks ago albeit in a mates car. I would never subject my car to that abuse..
I did see the usual wipers, washer nozzles, number plates and wheel trims being torn off as well as the more intricate trim pieces.
They seem to have developed a method of disembarking moving cars by using the rear wiper assembly as a rope swing to get from the car to the grass without touching the tarmac. I watched one 66 plate Hyundai jeep have its rear wiper and arm removed in this way. Would have been an expensive trip for that chap.
We had one monkey use the VW badge as an arse scratcher so anyone opening the rear boot afterwards had a hand full of monkey arse dust.
I did see the usual wipers, washer nozzles, number plates and wheel trims being torn off as well as the more intricate trim pieces.
They seem to have developed a method of disembarking moving cars by using the rear wiper assembly as a rope swing to get from the car to the grass without touching the tarmac. I watched one 66 plate Hyundai jeep have its rear wiper and arm removed in this way. Would have been an expensive trip for that chap.
We had one monkey use the VW badge as an arse scratcher so anyone opening the rear boot afterwards had a hand full of monkey arse dust.
LordHaveMurci said:
Miner49er said:
Went years ago in a Chrysler Voyager and I hadn't locked the doors.
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
One of the monkeys pulled the door handle on one of the sliding doors. I heard the door click, panicked and accelerated in an attempt to get rid of the monkey.
The monkey stayed put and the door slid wide open. This was seen as an invite to all his buddies to help themselves to the food that was scattered around the car.
My kids still have nightmares about it. And I'm now divorced.
Enjoy your day...
Do you mind, I'm trying to stifle laughter on an international conference call
I also went in a Morris Marina Coupe with a vinyl roof. Well, it went into the enclosure with a vinyl roof...
The tearing noise was excruciating.
On returning from Le Mans, I always wonder to myself whether a trip to the monkey enclosure would save me all the hassle of removing the stickers.
The tearing noise was excruciating.
On returning from Le Mans, I always wonder to myself whether a trip to the monkey enclosure would save me all the hassle of removing the stickers.
It's very local to me (2 miles) but not been for a long time, went round in an old mk2 capri but got through damage free, more than can be said for the 6 month old sierra 4x4 all nicely colour coded in white that I was following, what myself and the owner thought was a pile of monkey poo on the rear spoiler was infact a nice bitten out chunk of spoiler!
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