The Pistonheads Hotel...

[Boozy]

Mahoosive sign with "NO MASKS!" outside the front door.

[hoegaardenruls]

Courtesy car fleet offering a choice of MX5 or remapped BMW 335d..

[Jarcy]

hoegaardenruls said:

Courtesy car fleet offering a choice of MX5 or remapped BMW 335d..

An odd choice of conveyance, if we're considering utopia.

[anonymous-user]

A one way mirror for the inevitable cuckold session.

[bakerstreet]

Off the top of my head an not in any preferred order

High output (20W minimum) charger and USB-C fly least of at least 2m included
TV Remote not bolted to the bedside table (Seen in a few low rent motels in Florida)
Chromecast equipped TV
Maldives like outside space with modern hot tub and outdoor shower
Vaulted ceiling with exposed beams, but beams must be at least 6ft 6in from the floor
Air Conditioning (App controlled ideally)
Reading area with ratten like chairs with decent thickness cushions (3-4 inches thick)
Short walk from the breakfast area, but will accept a person shuttling me there on a Golf Buggy.
My kids not being there.

I may ask Mrs BS on her opinion on this.

[Blib]

I can do you a good deal on teaspoons.

[paulguitar]

Blib said:

I can do you a good deal on teaspoons.

I've heard otherwise.

[Blib]

paulguitar said:

Blib said:

I can do you a good deal on teaspoons.

I've heard otherwise.

[CheesecakeRunner]

There will be a minimum of two, well sealing, doors between any sleeping area and a public hallway.

Every other room will be left empty, and every other floor will be left empty.

There will be triple glazed windows.

The lifts will not operate between the hours of 9pm and 6am.

The TVs and radios in the rooms will be supplied with wireless headphones and the inbuilt speakers will not operate between the hours of 9pm and 6am.

In fact, there will be no other guests in the hotel when I’m staying there.

[Last Visit]

There will be no one common, council or of a similar level of vulgarity allowed to check in or indeed use the facilities. The thought of dining on my morning eggs Benedict and seeing someone chomping into their pop tart is just ghastly.

[PurpleTurtle]

An old bloke sat at the end of the bar telling you that what you really want is an SMG E46 M3 ....

[Hub]

Complimentary Daily Mail each morning

[vaud]

rjfp1962 said:

A racetrack in the back garden!

Nooo... too close, might disturb lunch/dinner.

A nice track that is 10 miles drive and over a fun mountain pass?

[PF62]

Hub said:

Complimentary Daily Mail each morning

Why would you want that liberal lefty rag, rather than the full fat frothing red faced gammon Telegraph?

[anonymous-user]

I'm sure I heard it will be serving Scottish cooked breakfast, featuring the finest frozen lawn sausage.

[blingybongy]

This thread has been done before but I can't find it.

[Griffithy]

hoegaardenruls said:

Courtesy car fleet offering a choice of MX5 or remapped BMW 335d..

just found the hotel from hell

[slopes]

A secret sound proofed room with a commitee to disagree with everything you say, provide so called evidence that you are wrong and then hurl insults at you, your choice of car/music/phone etc

[Red9zero]

Parking for a taxi ?

[Tupwood]

A wing-backed leather arm chair next to the woodburner, my book, my whiskey and a clear dry weather forecast for the next days driving. Sunrise should be at 4am every day, and the roads are closed to all other users until I return for breakfast.

The hotel should be able to relocate itself to a destination of my choosing while I sleep. The associated heated garage will fill my car with fuel and perform a spanner-check during this overnight transition.