Cheating wife - what to do?
Discussion
Well OP, you know whats best for you. Maybe.. The only advice I'd give if you're staying with her is to ask her a favour. Not to not get shagged again by other men as that may be too diffuclt for her, but to please ask him nicely to use a condom the next time she gets rodded as you don't want to have the 'other mans custard' referred to ealier in the thread. Can't imagine that would be a nice mouthful.
Good Luck Have Fun
Good Luck Have Fun
Good luck to OP.
Hope it works out. The 1st step has been to accept you've made some mistakes. At least you can now deal with those. Doesn't mean that it will get her back onside, but it's a start. Hopefully you can both sort it out.
There are a lot of SWT posts that seem to accept we men are perfect & without faults therefore it's always the SWT's fault. Simply not so.
Hope it works out. The 1st step has been to accept you've made some mistakes. At least you can now deal with those. Doesn't mean that it will get her back onside, but it's a start. Hopefully you can both sort it out.
There are a lot of SWT posts that seem to accept we men are perfect & without faults therefore it's always the SWT's fault. Simply not so.
john_r said:
I think jyb was testing hollydog's commitment, but hollydog took that as an offer of some man on man action. Hollydog then pointed out that he gets offered man on man action all the time, so therefore no thanks. However, I think the reference to 'he he' might mean that hollydog has two 'he' partners already?
As I said, this is just my thoughts based on what was written?
HTH
Thanks John. That brings a level of clarity (as well as a few mental images I did not particularly need) to the situation which was previously absent. As I said, this is just my thoughts based on what was written?
HTH
R.
hollydog said:
Its Amazing how things can be read so wrong the offer bit was a joke .( Butt )i am an ass man but its got to be firmly actached to my misses thanks
... but then there is this. Now I am confused again, seriously like a dog that has been shown a card trick confused. What is actached (?) to whose hit or miss ? and how is it performed ?. I think I need to eat more fish.
R.
GT03ROB said:
Good luck to OP.
Hope it works out. The 1st step has been to accept you've made some mistakes. At least you can now deal with those. Doesn't mean that it will get her back onside, but it's a start. Hopefully you can both sort it out.
There are a lot of SWT posts that seem to accept we men are perfect & without faults therefore it's always the SWT's fault. Simply not so.
'Get her back on side'??Hope it works out. The 1st step has been to accept you've made some mistakes. At least you can now deal with those. Doesn't mean that it will get her back onside, but it's a start. Hopefully you can both sort it out.
There are a lot of SWT posts that seem to accept we men are perfect & without faults therefore it's always the SWT's fault. Simply not so.
If she had said she had had enough of him not putting any effort into the relationship and had packed her bags to go and live with her parents then fair enough. She didnt though did she. She had one of his colleagues balls deep in her in his own house.
Davey S2 said:
'Get her back on side'??
If she had said she had had enough of him not putting any effort into the relationship and had packed her bags to go and live with her parents then fair enough. She didnt though did she. She had one of his colleagues balls deep in her in his own house.
We can all have different views on this thing. The point I'm trying to make is that given the will & desire of both parties to put right what was wrong then the end result does not have to be divorce. If she had said she had had enough of him not putting any effort into the relationship and had packed her bags to go and live with her parents then fair enough. She didnt though did she. She had one of his colleagues balls deep in her in his own house.
M@verick said:
hollydog said:
Its Amazing how things can be read so wrong the offer bit was a joke .( Butt )i am an ass man but its got to be firmly actached to my misses thanks
... but then there is this. Now I am confused again, seriously like a dog that has been shown a card trick confused. What is actached (?) to whose hit or miss ? and how is it performed ?. I think I need to eat more fish.
R.
GT03ROB said:
Good luck to OP.
Hope it works out. The 1st step has been to accept you've made some mistakes. At least you can now deal with those. Doesn't mean that it will get her back onside, but it's a start. Hopefully you can both sort it out.
There are a lot of SWT posts that seem to accept we men are perfect & without faults therefore it's always the SWT's fault. Simply not so.
It's probably somehow his fault that she decided to deep kiss, cuddle, suck and fHope it works out. The 1st step has been to accept you've made some mistakes. At least you can now deal with those. Doesn't mean that it will get her back onside, but it's a start. Hopefully you can both sort it out.
There are a lot of SWT posts that seem to accept we men are perfect & without faults therefore it's always the SWT's fault. Simply not so.
k another man on several different occasions over the course of several days/weeks where you'd presume that at least at some point she was totally sober and still thinking of exactly how she could arrange this other man to fill her minge. It's not her fault though, her other half somehow is responsible for this. She only wanted a cuddle, the sexual intercourse etc just sort of happened. At the house she shared with her other half. Her OH really shouldn't have worked late etc and been a miserable git sometimes. He was the one that pulled her pants down, got the other guy hard, put his cock in her mouth and then in her vadge. What a b
d. Not her doing at all.In fact I feel sorry for her.
Zwoelf said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
It is amusing how some people need to almost pornographise things to try and make them sound somehow worse than simply "slept with" or "had sex with" when we're all quite aware of the mechanics of what that might entail.
However I think the PH's here are trying to jog the OP's brain into appreciating the extent of the betrayal.
Perhaps a little over the top but I understand the logic.
Given the extent of the act and the location in the home of the OP I could not forgive the transgression.
As the man said earlier you can mend the mirror but the cracks still show,
A single act of adultery, for example whilst away on business is one thing.
What is described here is desecration of the marital home: a different ballgame altogether. I could not forgive this.
It is of course entirely up to the OP. His life, his wife.
julian64 said:
No its trying to explain that the marriage contract is not as simple as the 'You don't cheat, and I wont cheat.'
That isn't the definition of a successful marriage. 'their own actions' as you put it are a consequence of the partnership.
Your ability to define responsibilty as one persons, or anothers is at the heart of a lot of unsucessful marriages. Its as if they have the marriage paperwork but never actually understood what marriage is.
Whatever the actions are, there is no excuse to go and ride another mans cock whatsoever UNLESS she breaks up with him first.That isn't the definition of a successful marriage. 'their own actions' as you put it are a consequence of the partnership.
Your ability to define responsibilty as one persons, or anothers is at the heart of a lot of unsucessful marriages. Its as if they have the marriage paperwork but never actually understood what marriage is.
OP - you're wife is trying to convince you its your fault she slept with another man, it's HER fault for not breaking up with you first, she clearly wants to go elsewhere, so get rid and let her.
john_r said:
M@verick said:
hollydog said:
Its Amazing how things can be read so wrong the offer bit was a joke .( Butt )i am an ass man but its got to be firmly actached to my misses thanks
... but then there is this. Now I am confused again, seriously like a dog that has been shown a card trick confused. What is actached (?) to whose hit or miss ? and how is it performed ?. I think I need to eat more fish.
R.
I WILL REMINEd YOU OF THE RULES OF PH . About offensive behavior . And wind your f--king neck in
Oakey said:
I like the part how she's the one in the wrong but the OP is taking the blame for everything and quite literally putting himself down to justify her actions.
Says the person who held a sword to his mum. Not everyone is as messed up, and it is possible for the OP to fix it. It could well be that his actions have encouraged her to play away (although still not an excuse) and that he recognises this. The only ones to know are the two of them. If he's being a soft touch and justifying her actions it will collapse again. If it's what actually happened then there is a chance for it to work out. And the only way is if both accept their own failings. I do wonder about the wife in this since the first thing after letting him know is that she slept with the other guy, but the OP seems to have made up his mind.broken biscuit said:
.....The other part of me wants to move on - recognise we have both made mistakes, accept her version of events, and deal with it. See Relate or whatever, work things out and build back the trust she has completely destroyed........
At least you have this fact to build your new relationship on: She WILL fk your work mates whenever she feels like it.Before you were just suspicious, now you KNOW she has no problem acting like the night safe at a sperm bank!
You have nothing to build on. She has breached the final levy, dropped to the lowest level possible: screwed someone else in your own home.
It really doesn't get much worse.
Mx5guy said:
.......and it is possible for the OP to fix it. It could well be that his actions have encouraged her to play away (although still not an excuse) and that he recognises this. The only ones to know are the two of them. If he's being a soft touch and justifying her actions it will collapse again. If it's what actually happened then there is a chance for it to work out. And the only way is if both accept their own failings. I do wonder about the wife in this since the first thing after letting him know is that she slept with the other guy, but the OP seems to have made up his mind.
....thank god for that thought I was going insane judging by some of the responses to my previous posts.Should she have told OP she had problems before the adultery occurred? ....... yes, absolutely.
The fact she didn't, does that make her an evil b
h? ...... Not necessarily.... But possibly.The fact she didn't, does that end the marriage? ........ Not necessarily ..... But possibly.
What would I do? Probably chuck her out, but only I would know what had happened to cause her behaviour.
Adultery is adultery wherever it occurs. In the marital home or on a business trip lonely away from home. It makes no difference where it occurs, if you think it does you are more about ownership/possession than love.
swiftpete said:
It's probably somehow his fault that she decided to deep kiss, cuddle, suck and fk another man on several different occasions over the course of several days/weeks where you'd presume that at least at some point she was totally sober and still thinking of exactly how she could arrange this other man to fill her minge.
It's not her fault though, her other half somehow is responsible for this. She only wanted a cuddle, the sexual intercourse etc just sort of happened. At the house she shared with her other half. Her OH really shouldn't have worked late etc and been a miserable git sometimes. He was the one that pulled her pants down, got the other guy hard, put his cock in her mouth and then in her vadge. What a bd. Not her doing at all.
In fact I feel sorry for her.
Read my posts. You might realise that's not what I'm saying. There are faults on each side, until both appreciate that the relationship is dead. OP understands he may not have been perfect, he has a chance.k another man on several different occasions over the course of several days/weeks where you'd presume that at least at some point she was totally sober and still thinking of exactly how she could arrange this other man to fill her minge. It's not her fault though, her other half somehow is responsible for this. She only wanted a cuddle, the sexual intercourse etc just sort of happened. At the house she shared with her other half. Her OH really shouldn't have worked late etc and been a miserable git sometimes. He was the one that pulled her pants down, got the other guy hard, put his cock in her mouth and then in her vadge. What a b
d. Not her doing at all.In fact I feel sorry for her.
i have been avoiding PH and this thread in particular. Whilst I never expected PH to be full of helpful advice and understanding, I have to say there are a huge number of aholes appearing in this thread.
I have had to face up to the fact that my behaviour, and my lifestyle have neglected my wife and child, creating huge cracks in my relationship. I have been a st husband, and, if i am brutally honest with myself, a st father to my lad. I have had a massive reality check, and been able to see what I have done, and where it went wrong.
Agree with it or not, the affair is a product of my behaviour. I was so horrible and mean and nasty to my wife, and she found a person who she could talk to, who appreciated her for being her, not trying to change who she was as I did. She got close to this person, finding the affection and attraction I had neglected to give her.
Now, we are trying to work things out. I am doing everything I can to fix the last few years of negativity and destruction, because I love her and value my marriage above everything else. It will be hard, and I have to try and trust her again. This is the hardest part. It will come, and providing she stays and it works, we will be stronger than before. I understand though, that our marriage may have gone past the point of saving, hence the affair, and if that is the case, I have to face facts and try to move on. Whatever happens, I shall come out of this knowing who I can count on and trust as family/friends, and what I can make of my life.
holes appearing in this thread. I have had to face up to the fact that my behaviour, and my lifestyle have neglected my wife and child, creating huge cracks in my relationship. I have been a s
t husband, and, if i am brutally honest with myself, a st father to my lad. I have had a massive reality check, and been able to see what I have done, and where it went wrong. Agree with it or not, the affair is a product of my behaviour. I was so horrible and mean and nasty to my wife, and she found a person who she could talk to, who appreciated her for being her, not trying to change who she was as I did. She got close to this person, finding the affection and attraction I had neglected to give her.
Now, we are trying to work things out. I am doing everything I can to fix the last few years of negativity and destruction, because I love her and value my marriage above everything else. It will be hard, and I have to try and trust her again. This is the hardest part. It will come, and providing she stays and it works, we will be stronger than before. I understand though, that our marriage may have gone past the point of saving, hence the affair, and if that is the case, I have to face facts and try to move on. Whatever happens, I shall come out of this knowing who I can count on and trust as family/friends, and what I can make of my life.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cuc...
For those who cba to click:
For those who cba to click:
urban dictionary said:
1. cuckold
A sexually inadequate husband who accepts his wife's pussy is her solely property and she alone decides which men she will fk,even if it means denying her husband. His only access to her pussy is to clean it of the ejaculate of males she chooses to fk.
Doug has the penis of a young boy and has never given his wife Jill an orgasm. His choice was divorce or be a cuckold. He is now a fully submissive cuckold to Jill.
Sounds fitting.A sexually inadequate husband who accepts his wife's pussy is her solely property and she alone decides which men she will f
k,even if it means denying her husband. His only access to her pussy is to clean it of the ejaculate of males she chooses to fk.Doug has the penis of a young boy and has never given his wife Jill an orgasm. His choice was divorce or be a cuckold. He is now a fully submissive cuckold to Jill.
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