Am I in trouble or is this a scam?
Discussion
If I were inclined, I think my reply would be "Having tried to verify the name of Frank Pikes against current agent records, I now know the sender of this mail to be falsly impersonating a federal agent. I know this because I am FBI, and will be investigating this email scam to the conclusion of inditement of the peretrator under federal law section 32."
"Oh yeah... P.S. Tke a look outside your window.
Well, you gotta have a go.
"Oh yeah... P.S. Tke a look outside your window.
Well, you gotta have a go.
Edited by T0nup on Tuesday 20th December 10:29
I had a weird one a few days ago. I had a phone call from a George Agdgdgwngo-type, saying they were conducting a survey and asking what bank I banked with. I lied - "Barclays for 15 years". With that, he politely thanked me and hung up. A few days later he called me again saying he was from the "Ministry of Justice" and that they were calling me because I'd been banking for the last 15 years with Barclays.
I just laughed.
Sadly, I was about to go out and I really didn't have time to wind him up. I just explained that he was wrong because I'd lied to him the last time he'd phoned me up. All he said was "Oh you are a very clever man". I gave him the line "And you are a f
kwit of the first order" and hung up.
I just laughed.
Sadly, I was about to go out and I really didn't have time to wind him up. I just explained that he was wrong because I'd lied to him the last time he'd phoned me up. All he said was "Oh you are a very clever man". I gave him the line "And you are a f
kwit of the first order" and hung up.Dear John Nweakwuwu, Agent in charge, very special FIB.
The package you have intercepted marked: "ATM card", does not contain an ATM card. As a fellow member of the security services, I can disclose to you that it is infact the launch control card for my countries secret nuclear satellite deterrent.
I am relieved to hear that you have safe custody of this fake ATM card, as I have been having a rather difficult time explaining its whereabouts to Mr. Cameron and HRH Liz Winsor.
My agency will happily pay your release fee. In fact there is also a rather large personal finders fee (£255,325.01 pounds sterling) for this item. This is payable directly to you - not the FBI. Unfortunately, my agency is suffering from government cutbacks. We are unable to fund the transaction charges to move this money to your account. Please send £500 by money order and email your full personal account details. When we receive your money order we will transfer the £255,325.01 to you in 24hrs.
I have traced your email to its origin and dispatched three armed agents to collect the launch control card (ATM Card! Haha ha ah hah ha ha ha!), they will bring your $108 dollars. They will be with you in two hours.
Shall I ask them to bring doughnuts?
Yours all secretagenty,
Hugh Jude Pecker,
'M'
Department of secret nuclear satellite defence programs,
MI6,
Thames House,
London.
The package you have intercepted marked: "ATM card", does not contain an ATM card. As a fellow member of the security services, I can disclose to you that it is infact the launch control card for my countries secret nuclear satellite deterrent.
I am relieved to hear that you have safe custody of this fake ATM card, as I have been having a rather difficult time explaining its whereabouts to Mr. Cameron and HRH Liz Winsor.
My agency will happily pay your release fee. In fact there is also a rather large personal finders fee (£255,325.01 pounds sterling) for this item. This is payable directly to you - not the FBI. Unfortunately, my agency is suffering from government cutbacks. We are unable to fund the transaction charges to move this money to your account. Please send £500 by money order and email your full personal account details. When we receive your money order we will transfer the £255,325.01 to you in 24hrs.
I have traced your email to its origin and dispatched three armed agents to collect the launch control card (ATM Card! Haha ha ah hah ha ha ha!), they will bring your $108 dollars. They will be with you in two hours.
Shall I ask them to bring doughnuts?
Yours all secretagenty,
Hugh Jude Pecker,
'M'
Department of secret nuclear satellite defence programs,
MI6,
Thames House,
London.
Buff Mchugelarge said:
Thats hilarious.. In a serious, pay up immedietly kinda way of course..
Id definatley dance by their rule..
.. bwahahahahahahahhahahaha!!!
Have you emailed back yet?
ETA
Just this once, Ive stepped in and E-mailed them back for you.
Dear Mr.Agent John Frank Pikes,
Good mornings.
I hope you can has aids. me. I am currently awaiting the arrival of my ATM card, and I wish to pay my fee. I understand this is because it is being sent from The Republic Of Benin. I really very much wish to dance to your rule.
I am a powerfully, built company director and am waiting to recieve my ATM card so I can purchase a ferrari. If you can tell me how much to pay, to where and whom to pay I will Instruct my assistant to transfer fund immediatley.
your dancingly
Mr T. winkletoes
Now we wait an see...
You forgot to mention the goatee !!!!Id definatley dance by their rule..
.. bwahahahahahahahhahahaha!!!
Have you emailed back yet?
ETA
Just this once, Ive stepped in and E-mailed them back for you.
Dear Mr.Agent John Frank Pikes,
Good mornings.
I hope you can has aids. me. I am currently awaiting the arrival of my ATM card, and I wish to pay my fee. I understand this is because it is being sent from The Republic Of Benin. I really very much wish to dance to your rule.
I am a powerfully, built company director and am waiting to recieve my ATM card so I can purchase a ferrari. If you can tell me how much to pay, to where and whom to pay I will Instruct my assistant to transfer fund immediatley.
your dancingly
Mr T. winkletoes
Now we wait an see...
Edited by Buff Mchugelarge on Tuesday 20th December 00:26
Well I've just recived a reply from our friend in the FBI
)
as it made me giggle
FBI chap said:
Attention. Mr T. winkletoes
Good day to you?
Thank you for your email also we want to inform you that the needed fee of $108 will be sent before the delivery will take place so my dear we need your urgent reply with the payment of $108 also you need to reconfirm your full address where you want your ATM CARD to be deliver to you we look forward to receive the payment information and also your full information you will send the payment immediately you receive this mail for urgent release your ATM CARD also for immediately delivery?
Albany department I am giving you 24 working hours to effect the payment of the $108.00 usd. To the FBI in republic of Benin (Fbi security) with the information written below:
Receiver: Nwaekwu Bejamin.
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Test Q: When
Answer: Today
Amount: $108.dollars
Control Number.........
Blah blah same as the previous letter
I have replied with this (stolen from here Good day to you?
Thank you for your email also we want to inform you that the needed fee of $108 will be sent before the delivery will take place so my dear we need your urgent reply with the payment of $108 also you need to reconfirm your full address where you want your ATM CARD to be deliver to you we look forward to receive the payment information and also your full information you will send the payment immediately you receive this mail for urgent release your ATM CARD also for immediately delivery?
Albany department I am giving you 24 working hours to effect the payment of the $108.00 usd. To the FBI in republic of Benin (Fbi security) with the information written below:
Receiver: Nwaekwu Bejamin.
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Test Q: When
Answer: Today
Amount: $108.dollars
Control Number.........
Blah blah same as the previous letter
) as it made me giggle
Reply said:
Dear Nice Fbi Chap.
The package you have intercepted marked: "ATM card", does not contain an ATM card. As a fellow member of the security services, I can disclose to you that it is infact the launch control card for my countries secret nuclear satellite deterrent.
I am relieved to hear that you have safe custody of this fake ATM card, as I have been having a rather difficult time explaining its whereabouts to Mr. Cameron and HRH Liz Winsor.
My agency will happily pay your release fee. In fact there is also a rather large personal finders fee (£255,325.01 pounds sterling) for this item. This is payable directly to you - not the FBI. Unfortunately, my agency is suffering from government cutbacks. We are unable to fund the transaction charges to move this money to your account. Please send £500 by money order and email your full personal account details. When we receive your money order we will transfer the £255,325.01 to you in 24hrs.
I have traced your email to its origin and dispatched three armed agents to collect the launch control card, they will bring your $108 dollars. .
Shall I ask them to bring doughnuts?
Yours all secretagenty,
T. Winkletoes,
'M'
Department of secret nuclear satellite defence programs,
MI6,
Thames House,
London.
I await another exciting reply The package you have intercepted marked: "ATM card", does not contain an ATM card. As a fellow member of the security services, I can disclose to you that it is infact the launch control card for my countries secret nuclear satellite deterrent.
I am relieved to hear that you have safe custody of this fake ATM card, as I have been having a rather difficult time explaining its whereabouts to Mr. Cameron and HRH Liz Winsor.
My agency will happily pay your release fee. In fact there is also a rather large personal finders fee (£255,325.01 pounds sterling) for this item. This is payable directly to you - not the FBI. Unfortunately, my agency is suffering from government cutbacks. We are unable to fund the transaction charges to move this money to your account. Please send £500 by money order and email your full personal account details. When we receive your money order we will transfer the £255,325.01 to you in 24hrs.
I have traced your email to its origin and dispatched three armed agents to collect the launch control card, they will bring your $108 dollars. .
Shall I ask them to bring doughnuts?
Yours all secretagenty,
T. Winkletoes,
'M'
Department of secret nuclear satellite defence programs,
MI6,
Thames House,
London.
No reply yet? Bummer. May I respectfully suggest something along the lines of :
Dear Speciality Agent Frankly Pike y,
I have received bad news from your country. You know by now that the three highly trained agents I sent to recover the launch control card for my country's secret nuclear satellite deterrent have not arrived with you. They were ambushed by terrorists.
The first two agents slipped on banana skins, injuring themselves fatally. The third agent escaped by diving into a local brothel. Once inside he spent the $108 dollars to maintain his cover and contracted some kind of virulent green pustule disease from a remarkably flexible ladyboy named Janice.
The fourth agent, my best man, identified the responsible terrorist despite him being disguised as a little old man selling fruit. My agent attacked the terrorist, managing to bite off three of his toes and stab him 232 times with a satsuma before the struggling pair were crushed to death when the fruit sellers cart fell on them. Have you ever lost your best man to asphixiation by another mans melons?
The fifth man made it past the banana trap and arrived one hour late at the rendevous, but you were not there. Did you move to a safe house when my men were late? Or are you using some crazy st FBI internet proxy thingamy to hide your real whereabouts?
So I'm sorry that my men did not arrive with your $108 dollars. Here is what I propose. Firslty, since you are in your country and I am not, it would honour me greatly if you could arrange for some flowers to be delivered to the funerals of the three men I lost. Their names are Hugh Pugh, Barney McGrew and Cuthebert Dibble. Nothing too fancy, say $3 each.
I will see what change we have left here in the coffee jar. With the flowers, we now owe you $117, yes? I think it's safer if I send a helicopter gunship this time. I'll ask the Americans if they have one we can borrow for the afternoon.
I have one more problem here. Mr Cameron has gone to Skeggy for a day on the razz with his "research assistant". That jumped up little twerp Cleggy is standing in (don't tell him I said that he has a black belt in TaiChi). Cleggy won't let me send the $117 to you without an invoice. Could you send one? It must be on FBI headed paper, if you don't have any, just draw a picture of George Bush and American flag on a bit of paper and write the words "FBI Offishal" on the top. Our accountants are idiots they won't spot it. Send me a picture of your invoice and I'll organise the cash.
On the subject of cash, I've not received your money order for £500. I can't transfer the £255,325.01 to you until it arrives. Please send it immediately.
The helicopter crew will bring doughnuts, do you prefer Crusty Creme or Dunkin' Doughnuts?
Yours all secretagenty,
T. Winkletoes,
'M'
Department of secret nuclear satellite defence programs,
MI6,
Thames House,
London.
Dear Speciality Agent Frankly Pike y,
I have received bad news from your country. You know by now that the three highly trained agents I sent to recover the launch control card for my country's secret nuclear satellite deterrent have not arrived with you. They were ambushed by terrorists.
The first two agents slipped on banana skins, injuring themselves fatally. The third agent escaped by diving into a local brothel. Once inside he spent the $108 dollars to maintain his cover and contracted some kind of virulent green pustule disease from a remarkably flexible ladyboy named Janice.
The fourth agent, my best man, identified the responsible terrorist despite him being disguised as a little old man selling fruit. My agent attacked the terrorist, managing to bite off three of his toes and stab him 232 times with a satsuma before the struggling pair were crushed to death when the fruit sellers cart fell on them. Have you ever lost your best man to asphixiation by another mans melons?
The fifth man made it past the banana trap and arrived one hour late at the rendevous, but you were not there. Did you move to a safe house when my men were late? Or are you using some crazy s
t FBI internet proxy thingamy to hide your real whereabouts?So I'm sorry that my men did not arrive with your $108 dollars. Here is what I propose. Firslty, since you are in your country and I am not, it would honour me greatly if you could arrange for some flowers to be delivered to the funerals of the three men I lost. Their names are Hugh Pugh, Barney McGrew and Cuthebert Dibble. Nothing too fancy, say $3 each.
I will see what change we have left here in the coffee jar. With the flowers, we now owe you $117, yes? I think it's safer if I send a helicopter gunship this time. I'll ask the Americans if they have one we can borrow for the afternoon.
I have one more problem here. Mr Cameron has gone to Skeggy for a day on the razz with his "research assistant". That jumped up little twerp Cleggy is standing in (don't tell him I said that he has a black belt in TaiChi). Cleggy won't let me send the $117 to you without an invoice. Could you send one? It must be on FBI headed paper, if you don't have any, just draw a picture of George Bush and American flag on a bit of paper and write the words "FBI Offishal" on the top. Our accountants are idiots they won't spot it. Send me a picture of your invoice and I'll organise the cash.
On the subject of cash, I've not received your money order for £500. I can't transfer the £255,325.01 to you until it arrives. Please send it immediately.
The helicopter crew will bring doughnuts, do you prefer Crusty Creme or Dunkin' Doughnuts?
Yours all secretagenty,
T. Winkletoes,
'M'
Department of secret nuclear satellite defence programs,
MI6,
Thames House,
London.
Edited by mikeveal on Wednesday 21st December 13:20
http://www.fbi.gov/albany/press-releases/2009/alfo...
John F Pikus.. Looks like it could be real. Best start throwing some shapes.
John F Pikus.. Looks like it could be real. Best start throwing some shapes.
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