"You're very nice but..."

[The Beaver King]

vrsmxtb said:

No, the whole be an ahole/dick thing was a bit flippant. It is purely self-confidence and not being so nicey-nice. I have plenty of interests and do consider myself to have loads of attractive qualities, probably the reason why I find myself entering the "friendzone" so quickly, I just need to hone delivering what girls find attractive beyond that on the initial first impression.

Any girl will be damn lucky to get me, so it's their loss!

Is that better?

That is exactly the stance you need to take.

Confidence in yourself is the key. It's not difficult really, you just need to follow a few simple rules:

• Meet a girl (Kind of a good starting point)
• Treat her like a male friend i.e. a bit of soft banter, tell a few funny stories etc...
• Don't focus on her too much. Chat to other friends, but include her if she's nearby.
• Carry this on for a few hours.
• Mention you're going to the bar, ask if she would like a drink. If she's interested in you, she will more than likely come with you to the bar.
• Ask a few general questions about her. Find her passion, ask questions on that. Mention something about yourself that links to her passion.
• Be confident in your own subjects, be interesting, but act like it's no big deal.
• Be impressed with the things she does/likes, big it up a bit.
• Consume alcohol, get drunk.
• Go for a dance. If you can't dance, do it anyway and make light of the fact you're crap.
• Eye contact is a must.
• Snog
• Go home/to her house.
• Have dirty drunk sex.

Easy

In my own experience most woman generally do want a nice bloke, but not an obvious nice bloke. They want a guy who has a bloke exterior, so they want mansculine, attractive, strong, confident, a protector, clever and who knows what he wants from life. Once they get to know you, they want to see a bit of an emotional side from you. That side of you that only a person you are in a relationship with gets to see. It makes them feel special.

For example; when I started dating my GF, all her guy mates were very cautious around me. Lots of comments about being a 'big lad' (powerfully built, but no directorships) and concerns about having their heads kicked in if they got too close to her. She just laughed it off and told them that I was a pussy cat really.
She loves that stuff. She loves knowing that other blokes are a bit guarded around me, so she feels safe. She also likes the fact I'm actually soft as pig st and have an emotional side that is reasonably well hidden.

Woman want a caveman, with a outgoing, confident personality and deep emotions... fk me, they don't want much!!

At least, that's my take on it....

Edited by The Beaver King on Friday 18th May 09:29

[BorkFactor]

The Beaver King said:

• Meet a girl (Kind of a good starting point)
• Treat her like a male friend i.e. a bit of soft banter, tell a few funny stories etc...
• Don't focus on her too much. Chat to other friends, but include her if she's nearby.
• Carry this on for a few hours.
• Mention you're going to the bar, ask if she would like a drink. If she's interested in you, she will more than likely come with you to the bar.
• Ask a few general questions about her. Find her passion, ask questions on that. Mention something about yourself that links to her passion.
• Be confident in your own subjects, be interesting, but act like it's no big deal.
• Be impressed with the things she does/likes, big it up a bit.
• Consume alcohol, get drunk.
• Go for a dance. If you can't dance, do it anyway and make light of the fact you're crap.
• Eye contact is a must.
• Snog
• Go home/to her house.
• Have dirty drunk sex.

Easy

OP - pay attention to this! Works most of the time...

All humour aside, that was an excellent post, you should read the whole thing, not just the bit I quoted for posterity

[Mr-B]

The Beaver King said:

That is exactly the stance you need to take.

Confidence in yourself is the key. It's not difficult really, you just need to follow a few simple rules:

• Meet a girl (Kind of a good starting point)
• Treat her like a male friend i.e. a bit of soft banter, tell a few funny stories etc...
• Don't focus on her too much. Chat to other friends, but include her if she's nearby.
• Carry this on for a few hours.
• Mention you're going to the bar, ask if she would like a drink. If she's interested in you, she will more than likely come with you to the bar.
• Ask a few general questions about her. Find her passion, ask questions on that. Mention something about yourself that links to her passion.
• Be confident in your own subjects, be interesting, but act like it's no big deal.
• Be impressed with the things she does/likes, big it up a bit.
• Consume alcohol, get drunk.
• Go for a dance. If you can't dance, do it anyway and make light of the fact you're crap.
• Eye contact is a must.
• Snog
• Go home/to her house.
• Have dirty drunk sex.

Easy

In my own experience most woman generally do want a nice bloke, but not an obvious nice bloke. They want a guy who has a bloke exterior, so they want mansculine, attractive, strong, confident, a protector, clever and who knows what he wants from life. Once they get to know you, they want to see a bit of an emotional side from you. That side of you that only a person you are in a relationship with gets to see. It makes them feel special.

For example; when I started dating my GF, all her guy mates were very cautious around me. Lots of comments about being a 'big lad' (powerfully built, but no directorships) and concerns about having their heads kicked in if they got too close to her. She just laughed it off and told them that I was a pussy cat really.
She loves that stuff. She loves knowing that other blokes are a bit guarded around me, so she feels safe. She also likes the fact I'm actually soft as pig st and have an emotional side that is reasonably well hidden.

Woman want a caveman, with a outgoing, confident personality and deep emotions... fk me, they don't want much!!

At least, that's my take on it....

Edited by The Beaver King on Friday 18th May 09:29

Or you could just try Rohypnol.

[arfur]

Mr-B said:

The Beaver King said:

That is exactly the stance you need to take.

Confidence in yourself is the key. It's not difficult really, you just need to follow a few simple rules:

• Meet a girl (Kind of a good starting point)
• Treat her like a male friend i.e. a bit of soft banter, tell a few funny stories etc...
• Don't focus on her too much. Chat to other friends, but include her if she's nearby.
• Carry this on for a few hours.
• Mention you're going to the bar, ask if she would like a drink. If she's interested in you, she will more than likely come with you to the bar.
• Ask a few general questions about her. Find her passion, ask questions on that. Mention something about yourself that links to her passion.
• Be confident in your own subjects, be interesting, but act like it's no big deal.
• Be impressed with the things she does/likes, big it up a bit.
• Consume alcohol, get drunk.
• Go for a dance. If you can't dance, do it anyway and make light of the fact you're crap.
• Eye contact is a must.
• Snog
• Go home/to her house.
• Have dirty drunk sex.

Easy

In my own experience most woman generally do want a nice bloke, but not an obvious nice bloke. They want a guy who has a bloke exterior, so they want mansculine, attractive, strong, confident, a protector, clever and who knows what he wants from life. Once they get to know you, they want to see a bit of an emotional side from you. That side of you that only a person you are in a relationship with gets to see. It makes them feel special.

For example; when I started dating my GF, all her guy mates were very cautious around me. Lots of comments about being a 'big lad' (powerfully built, but no directorships) and concerns about having their heads kicked in if they got too close to her. She just laughed it off and told them that I was a pussy cat really.
She loves that stuff. She loves knowing that other blokes are a bit guarded around me, so she feels safe. She also likes the fact I'm actually soft as pig st and have an emotional side that is reasonably well hidden.

Woman want a caveman, with a outgoing, confident personality and deep emotions... fk me, they don't want much!!

At least, that's my take on it....

Edited by The Beaver King on Friday 18th May 09:29

Or you could just try Rohypnol.

Only problem with that is the 20 minutes conversation before it kicks in

[boobles]

I think it's the MX5 thats putting them off!

[anonymous-user]

Stop having female friends.
Increase the number of women you speak to.
Stop being GHEY.

[Leptons]

Justayellowbadge said:

Do you import old VWs?

Excellent

[NotDave]

Justayellowbadge said:

Snivelling gimp.

The irony

[The Beaver King]

Mr-B said:

Or you could just try Rohypnol.

100% effective, but where's the challenge?

[Odie]

vrsmxtb said:

If I'm so lovely / nice then give me a f-ing chance and date me!

Why do women let the nice guys finish last? I swear the next date I have I'm going to be a total ahole and see what difference it makes...

Mini "I can't get a girlfriend" rant over.

Nice guys finish last, but at least we finish

[rhinochopig]

Odie said:

Nice guys finish last, but at least we finish

I usually finish first. Drives my wife mad.

[Celtic Dragon]

mat777 said:

I am in exactly the same boat as you. Apparently I'm too nice a guy. What the fk is it with girls that they go for the utter douchebags, then moan that they are being taken for granted??? Then they repeat the whole cycle all over again and NEVER fkING LEARN!!!!!!!!!

There's a breathtakingly gorgeous girl here at uni who I so so really utterly fancied 9and she knew it) when I met her in my accomodation last year but I never got close.. I assumed it was because she was way out of my league.

However, after bumping into her in a nightclub this year and seeing her way more drunk than usual night-out levels, she opened up with "I've missed you matt. But I could never sleep with you, you're too nice a guy. But we'll always be friends, right?".

Why didn't she just kick you in the balls?

[MiseryStreak]

wendyg said:

Be open
Be engaging
Be cheerful
Be interesting
Be interested
Be funny
Be kind
Be generous
Be attentive

Or...(being that that list is impossible to achieve for mortal man) make them laugh enough to sleep with you then give them an orgasm. Remember flowers occasionally, be yourself, you'll be married with kids before you know it.

[cal216610]

Celtic Dragon said:

Why didn't she just kick you in the balls?

Oi, people can't just go around kicking sad, wimpering puppys it's not on.

[crofty1984]

LeeMad said:

you an english teacher or something? theres more important things in life to worry about.

There are indeed more important things to worry about. But that doesn't mean it's not worth paying attention to. It's my mum's birthday soon, I'm not going to refuse to get her a card and present because there's an AIDS crisis in Africa.

[Council Baby]

bulldong said:

Stop having female friends.
Increase the number of women you speak to.
Stop being GHEY.

bks, have LOADS of female friends, go out with them, get a few female 'wingmen', works absolute wonders when they get other girls over for a chat, especially when they know the score.

If you handle it right and aren't so fking limp wristed that they assume you're the token queer of the group.

[crofty1984]

Steffan said:

Life is too short for recriminations. Difficult to spell as well.

Anyway, OP. You're in the friendzone.

The thing is, it's very hard to get from being a friend to being a lover.
Once you're a friend you're arguably "more valuable" to said woman so she won't want to change the relationship for fear of losing one of her friends should you split up.

I've been there, trying to be a better and nicer friend like there's some kind of magical sex prize at the end. There isn't.

If you want to be with someone sexually, then you have about a month from first meeting them to at least have a snog or something. Break into the "potential partner" zone. At that point you're just "this new guy I met" so if you have a go and it doesn't work out, she's not lost much.
You were just "some bloke" you were there, now you're not. It's no big deal, it's not like she's lost one of her "bestest friends in the wuuuurld! You're so SWEET!" is it?

[Chrisw666]

Council Baby said:

bks, have LOADS of female friends, go out with them, get a few female 'wingmen', works absolute wonders when they get other girls over for a chat, especially when they know the score.

If you handle it right and aren't so fking limp wristed that they assume you're the token queer of the group.

This.

It works really well if the female friends are hot and flirty, it makes other girls wonder what you have they they're not seeing and because you get plenty of practice seeing them half dressed and hammered you learn not to stare at a girls chest, not to be too gropey and aren't dumb struck in the presence of a bird that makes your little chap want to stand on parade.

Plus if all else fails you can nail them when they come to you to moan about their BF.

[Celtic Dragon]

cal216610 said:

Oi, people can't just go around kicking sad, wimpering puppys it's not on.

I have no idea why I'm taking the pi55 as I'm in the same boat!

But it was a quote from 2 and a 1/2 men

[al1991]

mat777 said:

I am in exactly the same boat as you. Apparently I'm too nice a guy. What the fk is it with girls that they go for the utter douchebags, then moan that they are being taken for granted??? Then they repeat the whole cycle all over again and NEVER fkING LEARN!!!!!!!!!

There's a breathtakingly gorgeous girl here at uni who I so so really utterly fancied 9and she knew it) when I met her in my accomodation last year but I never got close.. I assumed it was because she was way out of my league.

However, after bumping into her in a nightclub this year and seeing her way more drunk than usual night-out levels, she opened up with "I've missed you matt. But I could never sleep with you, you're too nice a guy. But we'll always be friends, right?".

I'd hazard a guess this hat isn't helping.



Or the glasses.



Or hair.