Most ridiculous/bizarre accusations
Discussion
On my way home one evening. I see a chap in a rather nice E60 530d M-sport with spyder alloys.
Nice car I think (I was in my dark grey 535d M-sport with the same wheels)... I overtake him, he puts his foot down and smiles over, I think ok, lets just see what the difference in performance is as this chap is obviously a petrol head too.
So we pull side by side at the next roundabout, and as he pulls up, he winds the window down and tells me it's a nice car, and bloody fast.
I tell him that I agree, it's a great car and the remap made a huge difference. Thumbs up I get... nice chap me thinks..
Then - he asks me if it's my dad's car... I tell him nope, my car... then his smile turns to a frown.. "NO - IT'S YOUR DAD'S CAR RIGHT?!?!"
"No, it's my car" - I'm slightly baffled at this point!
He gets so angry, and starts shouting it's my dads car, then as the lights turn, he floors it, and cuts straight into my lane (no reason to do so) and drives off swearing at me!
Now I don't look my age I appreciate... but I'm 29, I was wearing a suit, was well presented - I didn't look like some chav driving daddy's car!
This chap was an average maybe early to mid 30's chap... so maybe a small age difference!
Now had I been in the turbo, his head probably would have exploded!
Nice car I think (I was in my dark grey 535d M-sport with the same wheels)... I overtake him, he puts his foot down and smiles over, I think ok, lets just see what the difference in performance is as this chap is obviously a petrol head too.
So we pull side by side at the next roundabout, and as he pulls up, he winds the window down and tells me it's a nice car, and bloody fast.
I tell him that I agree, it's a great car and the remap made a huge difference. Thumbs up I get... nice chap me thinks..
Then - he asks me if it's my dad's car... I tell him nope, my car... then his smile turns to a frown.. "NO - IT'S YOUR DAD'S CAR RIGHT?!?!"
"No, it's my car" - I'm slightly baffled at this point!
He gets so angry, and starts shouting it's my dads car, then as the lights turn, he floors it, and cuts straight into my lane (no reason to do so) and drives off swearing at me!
Now I don't look my age I appreciate... but I'm 29, I was wearing a suit, was well presented - I didn't look like some chav driving daddy's car!
This chap was an average maybe early to mid 30's chap... so maybe a small age difference!
Now had I been in the turbo, his head probably would have exploded!
About ten years ago, me and a mate were doing up a flat. We hired a bloke to oversea the work, he did so, we paid him, end of story...
Except that 4 months later, he phones me and accuses me of sleeping with his girlfriend (who I had never met). I start of non-plussed, then get a bit worried, as he was a big bloke and very angry, then I get a bit miffed, as I really don't need this from a bloke who's made about 10 grand out of me, and finally I end up counselling the bloke, as it slowly dawns on him that his girlfriend is gifted with the mental, and just got my name off an old invoice and was winding him up for kicks.
Except that 4 months later, he phones me and accuses me of sleeping with his girlfriend (who I had never met). I start of non-plussed, then get a bit worried, as he was a big bloke and very angry, then I get a bit miffed, as I really don't need this from a bloke who's made about 10 grand out of me, and finally I end up counselling the bloke, as it slowly dawns on him that his girlfriend is gifted with the mental, and just got my name off an old invoice and was winding him up for kicks.
Some 25 years ago, our school bus arrived at school. We were met by a teacher who marched those of us who had been on the back seats on the way home the day before in to see the head.
We were lined up in front of his desk for him to ask us in his very quiet but utterly terrifying manner what we had to say for ourselves. We all looked at each other, looked back at him and said we hadn't a clue what he was talking about.
"There's no point denying it. The motorist was a school governor. He phoned me yesterday evening. Denying it will just make it so much worse".
We were all just as nonplussed, and insisted he'd have to give us a bit more to go on. With extreme reticence and disgust he then said "You... I can barely believe I am having to say thing... You bared your posteriors to a car behind you yesterday evening, and the driver of the car - one of our school governors as I mentioned - phoned me to complain in the strongest possible terms".
I'm not quite sure how we all managed to remain serious, but we simply denied it had anything to do with us once again, which drew accusations of us not living up to the standards expected of his pupils, a promise to investigate further, and warnings of an identity parade with the motorist in question. Given the accusation, this last point did provoke a few sniggers as we were ushered back out of his office.
The following morning, we turned up once again, and once again were ushered to wait outside his office to go in. Something of a sphincter-clencher (despite our utter innocence), as we could hear him giving someone else a monumental b
king on the phone.
We were then called in, to be surprised by him coming round from behind his desk to shake each of our hands and apologise for wrongly accusing us. He then explained that he'd spoken again to the governor, who said that he'd followed the bus to its next stop and asked the pupils getting off which school they went to, to which they replied ours. He also checked exactly what time and where the stop was, before calling the bus company to get their input.
It turns out the kids were from the local comp. Same coach company, but 20 minutes before our bus gets us back, and a different stopping point to ours.
At this point, he then smiled and said "you may have overheard me just now explaining to one of our governors that I would at the very least expect our governors to recognise the school uniform of the school the govern, and not take the word of pupils from a different school for it".
I'm sure a lesser man would've just not bothered following up with us.
We were lined up in front of his desk for him to ask us in his very quiet but utterly terrifying manner what we had to say for ourselves. We all looked at each other, looked back at him and said we hadn't a clue what he was talking about.
"There's no point denying it. The motorist was a school governor. He phoned me yesterday evening. Denying it will just make it so much worse".
We were all just as nonplussed, and insisted he'd have to give us a bit more to go on. With extreme reticence and disgust he then said "You... I can barely believe I am having to say thing... You bared your posteriors to a car behind you yesterday evening, and the driver of the car - one of our school governors as I mentioned - phoned me to complain in the strongest possible terms".
I'm not quite sure how we all managed to remain serious, but we simply denied it had anything to do with us once again, which drew accusations of us not living up to the standards expected of his pupils, a promise to investigate further, and warnings of an identity parade with the motorist in question. Given the accusation, this last point did provoke a few sniggers as we were ushered back out of his office.
The following morning, we turned up once again, and once again were ushered to wait outside his office to go in. Something of a sphincter-clencher (despite our utter innocence), as we could hear him giving someone else a monumental b
king on the phone.We were then called in, to be surprised by him coming round from behind his desk to shake each of our hands and apologise for wrongly accusing us. He then explained that he'd spoken again to the governor, who said that he'd followed the bus to its next stop and asked the pupils getting off which school they went to, to which they replied ours. He also checked exactly what time and where the stop was, before calling the bus company to get their input.
It turns out the kids were from the local comp. Same coach company, but 20 minutes before our bus gets us back, and a different stopping point to ours.
At this point, he then smiled and said "you may have overheard me just now explaining to one of our governors that I would at the very least expect our governors to recognise the school uniform of the school the govern, and not take the word of pupils from a different school for it".
I'm sure a lesser man would've just not bothered following up with us.
Woken up by disturbingly drunk/drugged bloke charging in my tent and falling face first at Rockness festival last week. When asked what the fk he thought he was doing he kindly told me that I must have been in his tent but it's cool I can sleep there if I wanted to. What a gentleman!
k he thought he was doing he kindly told me that I must have been in his tent but it's cool I can sleep there if I wanted to. What a gentleman! Last year I was offered money for a go on the dodgems at the travelling funfair on Southsea common .
I refused saying it wasn't my ride - the cheeky cow replied ' oh sorry , you look like you work here '
Cue much hilarity and being referred to as ' Tim' on regular occasions from then on .
I refused saying it wasn't my ride - the cheeky cow replied ' oh sorry , you look like you work here '
Cue much hilarity and being referred to as '
Tim' on regular occasions from then on . Back to the top said:
Last year I was offered money for a go on the dodgems at the travelling funfair on Southsea common .
I refused saying it wasn't my ride - the cheeky cow replied ' oh sorry , you look like you work here '
Cue much hilarity and being referred to as ' Tim' on regular occasions from then on .
I refused saying it wasn't my ride - the cheeky cow replied ' oh sorry , you look like you work here '
Cue much hilarity and being referred to as '
Tim' on regular occasions from then on . 
Best one yet, you'll never shake that!
Years ago, a neighbour of mine had the words "NAZI bh" sprayed across her car. It was very odd as she seemed a pleasent enough woman.
I asked her if she had ever been a Nazi sympathyser and her reply makes me laugh to this day.
"Well I don't think so, although I did used to be in the young conservatives."
A case of mistaken identity I guess. Although since it happened my wife and I refer to her as Eva (Braun). Not to her face, obviously!
h" sprayed across her car. It was very odd as she seemed a pleasent enough woman.I asked her if she had ever been a Nazi sympathyser and her reply makes me laugh to this day.
"Well I don't think so, although I did used to be in the young conservatives."
A case of mistaken identity I guess. Although since it happened my wife and I refer to her as Eva (Braun). Not to her face, obviously!
Wrote this back in 2005.
I was walking back from the local newsagents, when I happened upon a rather heated argument in the street a bit down from my front door. The argument was between a resident, a middle-aged woman with a completely bald head, and a couple who had just parked their car outside her house, with the back wheel just on double yellow lines.
I only caught the last part of the argument as I walked through it, but it seemed that the owners of the car were in fact some kind of MI5 agent, as they had a car with magically changing number plates. The argument ended like this:
Baldie: You can't park your car there, its illegal. It's on double yellow lines. I've already reported you to the police more than once because your number plate keeps changing. Last week it was R, now its a V plate.
Over the coming weeks, I noticed that Baldie seemed to have a bit of an axe to grind when it came to people parking on double yellow lines. Now, whether it was justified or not is another matter, but I often joked about parking outside her house for a laugh to see what would happen.
Arguments similar to the one above started to happen more regularly, and I also noticed other strange behaviour from Baldie. She always wore the same clothes, and when she wasn't continuing her personal vendetta against illegal parking, she would be seen forcing black bin bags in to her wheelie bins, so much so that they would often overflow. She lived alone as far as we could tell. She also used to carry a pair of scissors in her hand almost constantly.
Then my friend Andy from around the corner told me of his parents' experience with Baldie. His Dad had to park outside her house one day, and was met with a torrent of abuse that ended in the bizarre accusation that he had stolen the car number plate from npower - an electricity supplier in the UK. Something was definitely amiss. Baldie started to give me filthy looks whenever I walked past on my trips to the newsagent.
Still, we were safe. Whilst our on-street parking (on the other side of the bollards) was once marked with double yellow lines, they had long since faded and were no longer valid. The council didn't seem bothered about repainting them, so we assumed that it was OK to park there.
Oh, how wrong we were.
Last Sunday, we came back home after visiting my parents. I parked my spangly "new" car outside on the long-faded double yellow lines, and we walked towards the front door of our flats. No sooner had we put the key in the door, we heard an "excuse me" coming from the direction of Baldie's house.
When we looked towards the sound, we saw her walking towards us.
Baldie: You can't park there, you're on double yellow lines and it's illegal.
Me: No, we're not. The double yellow lines aren't valid any more.
Baldie: They are double yellow lines, and you are not allowed to park on them at any time, its in the highway code.
At this point, I moved towards the kerb (and thusly towards her) to point out that the lines were in fact invalid, as they were barely visible.
Baldie (taking a step back): Don't you threaten me! I saw that, you're going to attack me!
Me: No I'm not! I'm trying to point out that the lines aren't valid. They're barely visible, and the law states they need to be unbroken and solid lines. Which these aren't.
Baldie: No, they're perfectly valid. You're parked illegally. I've noted down your registration plate and I'm going to call the police.
I was getting a little annoyed now, but I thought I'd move towards the end of what used to be the lines and point out the complete lack of a terminating bar.
Baldie (taking a few steps back): Thats the second time you've tried to attack me! I'm going to report you for threatening behaviour!
Me (quite irritated): I'm not going to attack you, I'm just trying to prove you wrong.
It was here that the conversation took on a more... surreal edge.
Baldie: You can't prove me wrong, your parking is illegal. I've also been wondering why you keep going into that block of flats - you don't live there, no-one does. I've been living here for longer than you have and no-one lives in that block of flats.
I was slightly taken aback by that, and had decided I'd had enough. I wanted to find out her house number so I could report HER to the police for harassment. So, I asked her.
Me: Whats your house number, please?
Baldie: Thats irrelevant, what do you want to know that for?
Me (walking towards her house to find out): So I can report you to the police.
Baldie: Report me? I've not done anything wrong. You're trying to attack me again! That's three times!
I then counted down the street from our building to work out her house number. Some other residents had come out of their houses by this time and started to fight for my cause, so I decided to go back inside and call the police.
I was genuinely concerned for her mental health (she was quite obviously a couple of bits short of a byte!) as well as the health of others, so I phoned the local police and explained my concerns. They thanked me for my call and said that they would send someone around to check on her. I don't think they visited her that night, but I can't be sure as we went out for a meal an hour or so later.
So, the next day came and I went to work. Shortly before home time, Andy messaged me on MSN Messenger to tell me that the streets around my home were crawling with police trying to get hold of Baldie. She'd apparently spent some of the day supergluing the car door locks of residents (not mine, thankfully) which had understandably prompted a few complaints.
On the way back, I noticed that the street was indeed full of police and paramedics. Watching from the safety of my lounge window, I saw the police get one of those battering ram thingies out from their car, followed by some loud bangs. Baldie (we learnt here that her name was really Christine, but Baldie sounds better) had superglued herself in to her home to avoid being captured. Eventually the police broke through and restrained her, taking her down to the squad car to be taken back to wherever. They searched her bag and found two pairs of scissors, and a bottle of superglue.
Neighbours, eh?
I was walking back from the local newsagents, when I happened upon a rather heated argument in the street a bit down from my front door. The argument was between a resident, a middle-aged woman with a completely bald head, and a couple who had just parked their car outside her house, with the back wheel just on double yellow lines.
I only caught the last part of the argument as I walked through it, but it seemed that the owners of the car were in fact some kind of MI5 agent, as they had a car with magically changing number plates. The argument ended like this:
Baldie: You can't park your car there, its illegal. It's on double yellow lines. I've already reported you to the police more than once because your number plate keeps changing. Last week it was R, now its a V plate.
Over the coming weeks, I noticed that Baldie seemed to have a bit of an axe to grind when it came to people parking on double yellow lines. Now, whether it was justified or not is another matter, but I often joked about parking outside her house for a laugh to see what would happen.
Arguments similar to the one above started to happen more regularly, and I also noticed other strange behaviour from Baldie. She always wore the same clothes, and when she wasn't continuing her personal vendetta against illegal parking, she would be seen forcing black bin bags in to her wheelie bins, so much so that they would often overflow. She lived alone as far as we could tell. She also used to carry a pair of scissors in her hand almost constantly.
Then my friend Andy from around the corner told me of his parents' experience with Baldie. His Dad had to park outside her house one day, and was met with a torrent of abuse that ended in the bizarre accusation that he had stolen the car number plate from npower - an electricity supplier in the UK. Something was definitely amiss. Baldie started to give me filthy looks whenever I walked past on my trips to the newsagent.
Still, we were safe. Whilst our on-street parking (on the other side of the bollards) was once marked with double yellow lines, they had long since faded and were no longer valid. The council didn't seem bothered about repainting them, so we assumed that it was OK to park there.
Oh, how wrong we were.
Last Sunday, we came back home after visiting my parents. I parked my spangly "new" car outside on the long-faded double yellow lines, and we walked towards the front door of our flats. No sooner had we put the key in the door, we heard an "excuse me" coming from the direction of Baldie's house.
When we looked towards the sound, we saw her walking towards us.
Baldie: You can't park there, you're on double yellow lines and it's illegal.
Me: No, we're not. The double yellow lines aren't valid any more.
Baldie: They are double yellow lines, and you are not allowed to park on them at any time, its in the highway code.
At this point, I moved towards the kerb (and thusly towards her) to point out that the lines were in fact invalid, as they were barely visible.
Baldie (taking a step back): Don't you threaten me! I saw that, you're going to attack me!
Me: No I'm not! I'm trying to point out that the lines aren't valid. They're barely visible, and the law states they need to be unbroken and solid lines. Which these aren't.
Baldie: No, they're perfectly valid. You're parked illegally. I've noted down your registration plate and I'm going to call the police.
I was getting a little annoyed now, but I thought I'd move towards the end of what used to be the lines and point out the complete lack of a terminating bar.
Baldie (taking a few steps back): Thats the second time you've tried to attack me! I'm going to report you for threatening behaviour!
Me (quite irritated): I'm not going to attack you, I'm just trying to prove you wrong.
It was here that the conversation took on a more... surreal edge.
Baldie: You can't prove me wrong, your parking is illegal. I've also been wondering why you keep going into that block of flats - you don't live there, no-one does. I've been living here for longer than you have and no-one lives in that block of flats.
I was slightly taken aback by that, and had decided I'd had enough. I wanted to find out her house number so I could report HER to the police for harassment. So, I asked her.
Me: Whats your house number, please?
Baldie: Thats irrelevant, what do you want to know that for?
Me (walking towards her house to find out): So I can report you to the police.
Baldie: Report me? I've not done anything wrong. You're trying to attack me again! That's three times!
I then counted down the street from our building to work out her house number. Some other residents had come out of their houses by this time and started to fight for my cause, so I decided to go back inside and call the police.
I was genuinely concerned for her mental health (she was quite obviously a couple of bits short of a byte!) as well as the health of others, so I phoned the local police and explained my concerns. They thanked me for my call and said that they would send someone around to check on her. I don't think they visited her that night, but I can't be sure as we went out for a meal an hour or so later.
So, the next day came and I went to work. Shortly before home time, Andy messaged me on MSN Messenger to tell me that the streets around my home were crawling with police trying to get hold of Baldie. She'd apparently spent some of the day supergluing the car door locks of residents (not mine, thankfully) which had understandably prompted a few complaints.
On the way back, I noticed that the street was indeed full of police and paramedics. Watching from the safety of my lounge window, I saw the police get one of those battering ram thingies out from their car, followed by some loud bangs. Baldie (we learnt here that her name was really Christine, but Baldie sounds better) had superglued herself in to her home to avoid being captured. Eventually the police broke through and restrained her, taking her down to the squad car to be taken back to wherever. They searched her bag and found two pairs of scissors, and a bottle of superglue.
Neighbours, eh?
Edited by gazchap on Monday 18th June 19:15
My favorite one -
When I was a field service engineer, I used to do a lot of jobs around London.
I had a few minutes between jobs, so I decided to park up (in a legitimate marked parking bay), and eat my lunch.
I had been there over 15 minutes, with the engine off and windows down. Suddenly I heard a muffled "thump" from the rear of the car.
Got out to take a look, a lady who was on her mobile had walked into the side of the car, at full speed. That was not really the problem, the problem was when she turned round to me and shouted "WHY DON'T YOU LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING"
I didn't say a word, got back in the car and carried on eating my lunch. She stormed off in a huff mumbling something under her breath.
Wierd people out there folks...
When I was a field service engineer, I used to do a lot of jobs around London.
I had a few minutes between jobs, so I decided to park up (in a legitimate marked parking bay), and eat my lunch.
I had been there over 15 minutes, with the engine off and windows down. Suddenly I heard a muffled "thump" from the rear of the car.
Got out to take a look, a lady who was on her mobile had walked into the side of the car, at full speed. That was not really the problem, the problem was when she turned round to me and shouted "WHY DON'T YOU LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING"
I didn't say a word, got back in the car and carried on eating my lunch. She stormed off in a huff mumbling something under her breath.
Wierd people out there folks...
I was once suspected of stealing sausages in a works canteen.
A work mate and me used to have breakfast in the subsidised works canteen. It was priced per item and dirt cheap, something like £1.30 for a full fried breakfast. We got to the counter and the lady on the till starts fishing around our plates with a dirty fork. She said that people had been hiding sausages under eggs and in piles of baked beans!
The thing is, the type of company it was, most of the people there were earning really good money. Even the permies were on £50k. God knows who was trying to save 15p by sneaking a sausage out under their fried eggs.
A work mate and me used to have breakfast in the subsidised works canteen. It was priced per item and dirt cheap, something like £1.30 for a full fried breakfast. We got to the counter and the lady on the till starts fishing around our plates with a dirty fork. She said that people had been hiding sausages under eggs and in piles of baked beans!
The thing is, the type of company it was, most of the people there were earning really good money. Even the permies were on £50k. God knows who was trying to save 15p by sneaking a sausage out under their fried eggs.
When I was 17 and driving a clapped out old Metro I got stopped by the Police. I was on the way back from my then girlfriends parents house and had stopped to pick up my mate Kev, who was going out with my GF's mate, they lived round the corner from each other.
It was after about quarter of a mile after I had picked Kev up that a panda car came flying up behind up with the blues going, he pulled us over him and his mate almost dragged me and Kev out of the car. Now at this point we didn't know that there had been an attempted theft of another Metro from nearby within maybe 20 mins of us driving through the area !
I can remember the conversation as clear as if it happened yesterday even though this was back in 1994 ! It went as follows .........
Plod. What would you have done if you had gotten away with it ?
Me. (Trying to be as calm and polite as possible) I'm sorry but what are you accusing me of ?
Plod. You know full well what you've done !
Me. I'm sorry but you must have us mistaken for someone else.
Plod. Don't give me that, empty your pockets and we're going to search the car.
At this point me and Kev empty our pockets and plod and his mate start routing through the car. As we are doing this some random bloke pulls up behind us and comes over and says to plod. "yeah that's them two, they're the little bds I saw trying to nick my car".
Plod then start getting ready with cuffs to arrest us so I explain that we have only just left our GF's houses and that they would prove this and also my GF's Dad would also verify this. I asked him to get the station to ring GF's Dad to verify our story and gave them the number. Plod goes back to the car to do this and his mate stands there with the bloke who pulled up, they both starting giving us loads of grief about how much trouble we were in and what was going to happen to a couple of scumbag thieves.
A few minutes later the other plod comes back over an apologises profusely for stopping us and that they were really sorry for the manner in which they handled the situation, plod then told the bloke who had stopped to go back home and keep an eye out in case the thieves came back as it clearly wasn't us, also told him not to just point the finger at random youths and to be more careful in future. GF's Dad was the Chief Super intendant who they had woken up to verify I was telling the truth
That PC by the way is now a respected detective in the local area
It was after about quarter of a mile after I had picked Kev up that a panda car came flying up behind up with the blues going, he pulled us over him and his mate almost dragged me and Kev out of the car. Now at this point we didn't know that there had been an attempted theft of another Metro from nearby within maybe 20 mins of us driving through the area !
I can remember the conversation as clear as if it happened yesterday even though this was back in 1994 ! It went as follows .........
Plod. What would you have done if you had gotten away with it ?
Me. (Trying to be as calm and polite as possible) I'm sorry but what are you accusing me of ?
Plod. You know full well what you've done !
Me. I'm sorry but you must have us mistaken for someone else.
Plod. Don't give me that, empty your pockets and we're going to search the car.
At this point me and Kev empty our pockets and plod and his mate start routing through the car. As we are doing this some random bloke pulls up behind us and comes over and says to plod. "yeah that's them two, they're the little b
ds I saw trying to nick my car".Plod then start getting ready with cuffs to arrest us so I explain that we have only just left our GF's houses and that they would prove this and also my GF's Dad would also verify this. I asked him to get the station to ring GF's Dad to verify our story and gave them the number. Plod goes back to the car to do this and his mate stands there with the bloke who pulled up, they both starting giving us loads of grief about how much trouble we were in and what was going to happen to a couple of scumbag thieves.
A few minutes later the other plod comes back over an apologises profusely for stopping us and that they were really sorry for the manner in which they handled the situation, plod then told the bloke who had stopped to go back home and keep an eye out in case the thieves came back as it clearly wasn't us, also told him not to just point the finger at random youths and to be more careful in future. GF's Dad was the Chief Super intendant who they had woken up to verify I was telling the truth
That PC by the way is now a respected detective in the local area
Edited by Special K on Monday 18th June 20:18
Webber3 said:
I was once suspected of stealing sausages in a works canteen.
A work mate and me used to have breakfast in the subsidised works canteen. It was priced per item and dirt cheap, something like £1.30 for a full fried breakfast. We got to the counter and the lady on the till starts fishing around our plates with a dirty fork. She said that people had been hiding sausages under eggs and in piles of baked beans!
The thing is, the type of company it was, most of the people there were earning really good money. Even the permies were on £50k. God knows who was trying to save 15p by sneaking a sausage out under their fried eggs.
It wasn't a large computer company based in Bracknell was it? I used to get the same thing!A work mate and me used to have breakfast in the subsidised works canteen. It was priced per item and dirt cheap, something like £1.30 for a full fried breakfast. We got to the counter and the lady on the till starts fishing around our plates with a dirty fork. She said that people had been hiding sausages under eggs and in piles of baked beans!
The thing is, the type of company it was, most of the people there were earning really good money. Even the permies were on £50k. God knows who was trying to save 15p by sneaking a sausage out under their fried eggs.
Webber3 said:
A work mate and me used to have breakfast in the subsidised works canteen. It was priced per item and dirt cheap, something like £1.30 for a full fried breakfast. We got to the counter and the lady on the till starts fishing around our plates with a dirty fork. She said that people had been hiding sausages under eggs and in piles of baked beans!
I confess that when I was a student (a depressingly long time ago) doing my year's placement as part of my sandwich degree, I did indeed used to do just that in the subsidised work canteen. If it was spotted I simply paid it. Would never do that now though - it's just cheeky and dishonest and a bit pathetic (as you rightly imply). But when you're a student things look different to you.
Was 14 and on a school skiing trip in Austria back in 1986, stopped at some restaurant up in the mountains to have lunch and I was on the table with the 'naughtier' kids in the group. Some German kid was sitting at our table and had all the gear, including some dayglo green salopettes. So one of our group decided to spray brown sauce all over them (as you do), and not surprisingly the German kid started having a go. At this point I was sitting there quietly not getting involved and waiting for my lunch. It ended up with the inevitable 'who won the war eh?' comment at which point some bloke came stomping over from the other side of the restaurant pointing at me and yelling at me at the top of his voice to get out. So I had the walk of shame through the restaurant while having some bloke shouting at me and i hadnt even done anything. The other kids stayed and had their lunch, I sat outside hungry.
Looking back on it I should've stood up for myself but was so shocked I was getting the blame that I just went along with it.
Looking back on it I should've stood up for myself but was so shocked I was getting the blame that I just went along with it.
I once got a call from a number I didn't recognise
Me: hello?
Angry man: Is this Max?
Me: it is..
Angry man: Your number is on my girls phone!
Me: Right...
Angry man: Your number is on my girls phone!
Me: Who's phone are we talking about?
Angry man: Don't play games with me
I hung up
I didn't know what to say to him. He was clearly implying something was going on between me and his girlfriend. But I hadn't been seeing anyone and I didn't know who he or his girlfriend was.
Asked my female friends about it but never found out who had the mental boyfriend
Me: hello?
Angry man: Is this Max?
Me: it is..
Angry man: Your number is on my girls phone!
Me: Right...
Angry man: Your number is on my girls phone!
Me: Who's phone are we talking about?
Angry man: Don't play games with me
I hung up
I didn't know what to say to him. He was clearly implying something was going on between me and his girlfriend. But I hadn't been seeing anyone and I didn't know who he or his girlfriend was.
Asked my female friends about it but never found out who had the mental boyfriend
GG89 said:
Woken up by disturbingly drunk/drugged bloke charging in my tent and falling face first at Rockness festival last week. When asked what the fk he thought he was doing he kindly told me that I must have been in his tent but it's cool I can sleep there if I wanted to. What a gentleman!
That's so funny. k he thought he was doing he kindly told me that I must have been in his tent but it's cool I can sleep there if I wanted to. What a gentleman! Talking of wrong numbers, I love the bit from that 1980's film "Ruthless People" where Danny DeVito answers the phone, says "No, Debbie can't come to the phone right now cos she has my dick in her mouth", put the phone down and then remarks "I love wrong numbers".
Edited by JonRB on Monday 18th June 21:30
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