Lies to tell your children

[Justin Cyder]

This came up in conversation in the pub. My mate tells his four year old son that wine is medicine & he has to take it regularly to stop his head turning into a Tyranosaurus Rex.

I saw one somewhere I can't remember that I've got my daughter going with - Every day we get a new sun. When the old ones go down, they end up in a pile over the horizon. When they cool down, people cut slices out of them and that's how we get margarine.

I need more. Help me mercilessly wind up an innocent five year old.

[Xerstead]

Father Christmas, the tooth fairy and religion.
Had a few friends that told their kids that the ice cream vans play music when they've run out of ice cream.

[PeanutHead]

I'm not your dad.

[Justin Cyder]

PeanutHead said:

I'm not your dad.

Might not be quite the tone I'm after!

[PeanutHead]

Your mum is an alien.

[Justin Cyder]

You know her then.

[PeanutHead]

We can't afford to keep you anymore, we selling you to someone else.

[PeanutHead]

Cornflakes are made from the skin of giraffes.

[rolex]

The ice cream van only play's tunes when it's ran out

[PeanutHead]

rolex said:

The ice cream van only play's tunes when it's ran out

Not heard that one before.

All the poeple on TV are kept in the same room until it's turned off.

[PeanutHead]

Electricity is generated by people riding bikes. FACT.

[PeanutHead]

The bubbles in fizzy pop are made from elephant farts kept at the zoo.
True story that.

[PHmember]

'Ambulance'.

[PeanutHead]

Peanuthead on the interweb has fk all to do today. True fact.

[Pistom]

Wind is created by trees swaying.

Oh sorry, you said lies. I'm getting onto scientifically proven facts again.

[Pixel Pusher]

Justin Cyder said:

Every day we get a new sun. When the old ones go down, they end up in a pile over the horizon. When they cool down, people cut slices out of them and that's how we get margarine.

Well. I never knew that.

Live and learn.

[john2443]

When there's a black and white film on TV "When we were kids the whole world was in black and white"

A friend said this to his kids and then had to spend ages persuading them that it was a joke!

[PeanutHead]

Pixel Pusher said:

Justin Cyder said:

Every day we get a new sun. When the old ones go down, they end up in a pile over the horizon. When they cool down, people cut slices out of them and that's how we get margarine.

Well. I never knew that.

Live and learn.

They made an advert for it, Vitalite. It's not a lie.

[gtidriver]

When my lad is looking at stuff in a shop, i say you can't have it as its for display purposes only. works every time.

[NDA]

Told my son for ages that we got his sister from the petrol station free with a gallon of unleaded.

Also told him that if he put on some garden leaf collecting big plastic hands, and flapped fast enough, he would fly. That lasted for at least 2 years.