Rant: The fatso next to me
Discussion
okgo said:
Badabing said:
Only just seen this thread. Read the OP's opening rant and had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. On one hand I thought to myself, 'you intolerable sod'. Yet I do understand where you are coming from.
Then spotted the next rant (snippet above). Yep, you are a c#*t lol.
"No dice fatty"
Yeh, well, there's only a finite amount of space on a Southwest train, and considering the extortionate fee I probably paid to be there, I see no reason why my experience should be soured by someone that has gotten too big to travel effectively. In other news, she was a black lesbian, and I 'think' she had a limp.Then spotted the next rant (snippet above). Yep, you are a c#*t lol.
"No dice fatty"
sleep envy said:
okgo said:
Badabing said:
Only just seen this thread. Read the OP's opening rant and had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. On one hand I thought to myself, 'you intolerable sod'. Yet I do understand where you are coming from.
Then spotted the next rant (snippet above). Yep, you are a c#*t lol.
"No dice fatty"
Yeh, well, there's only a finite amount of space on a Southwest train, and considering the extortionate fee I probably paid to be there, I see no reason why my experience should be soured by someone that has gotten too big to travel effectively. In other news, she was a black lesbian, and I 'think' she had a limp.Then spotted the next rant (snippet above). Yep, you are a c#*t lol.
"No dice fatty"
Halb said:
sleep envy said:
okgo said:
Badabing said:
Only just seen this thread. Read the OP's opening rant and had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. On one hand I thought to myself, 'you intolerable sod'. Yet I do understand where you are coming from.
Then spotted the next rant (snippet above). Yep, you are a c#*t lol.
"No dice fatty"
Yeh, well, there's only a finite amount of space on a Southwest train, and considering the extortionate fee I probably paid to be there, I see no reason why my experience should be soured by someone that has gotten too big to travel effectively. In other news, she was a black lesbian, and I 'think' she had a limp.Then spotted the next rant (snippet above). Yep, you are a c#*t lol.
"No dice fatty"
FULL HOUSE!
surveyor said:
Well I'm pissed off.
Got on the train at 2PM, hungry after several hours measuring, with a sandwich in my hand. Could I eat it? Could I b
ks as I kept looking over my shoulder for the OP
If you were thin you could get away with it. I'm pretty sure if the person in the OP was thin everything would be fine.Got on the train at 2PM, hungry after several hours measuring, with a sandwich in my hand. Could I eat it? Could I b
ks as I kept looking over my shoulder for the OP
you're not a fatso, you'll just be eating like one. Enjoy your sandwich. 
Pixel Pusher said:
tangerine_sedge said:
I recently used to work with a fatty who has been on a diet for the last 10 years. This diet has successfully seen him go from a 16 stone lardy to a 22 stone medical curiosity.
I have seen him eat a whole 9" pizza in 3 mouthfuls in under a minute.
His breakfast of choice (which he used to eat at his desk) is a large bowl (mixing bowl size) of porridge which could be considered healthy until he ladles 10 spoons of sugar and a quarter bottle of golden syrup onto it.
There is a well worn path from his bomb-site of a desk to the vending machine, yet amusingly he has a problem with his glands.
Thankfully, we have had a office move, and we too have followed the trend for musical chair style office desks (it was obviously a feature in some stty management journal a few months ago).
To the OP, I feel your pain, the only solution is to take the piss out of them every day until they have a heart attack...
Did you work at Jurassic park?I have seen him eat a whole 9" pizza in 3 mouthfuls in under a minute.
His breakfast of choice (which he used to eat at his desk) is a large bowl (mixing bowl size) of porridge which could be considered healthy until he ladles 10 spoons of sugar and a quarter bottle of golden syrup onto it.
There is a well worn path from his bomb-site of a desk to the vending machine, yet amusingly he has a problem with his glands.
Thankfully, we have had a office move, and we too have followed the trend for musical chair style office desks (it was obviously a feature in some s
tty management journal a few months ago).To the OP, I feel your pain, the only solution is to take the piss out of them every day until they have a heart attack...
One woman i worked with was really fat, width and depth both exceed height, her belly came into the room some time before her tits did. Standing joke was that if you ever felt randy over one of the office totties, just think of Liz getting out of a bath. Lunch was, amongst other things a babybel, one of the big ones, and eaten like an apple, other times if she went a a health!! kick, it was of to Asda and come back with one of those fixed price containers from the salad bar. This was so full that, once on her desk and the lid opened the food inside used to escape onto her desk like expanding foam on a mission.. The healthly bit was a bit of greenery, supplemented by several boiled eggs and topped with bacon bits.The family were all of the same shape, and following a visit to asda she announced that they must stop buying so much as the car bottoms on the speed humps! Comic relief one year saw her win the 'how many doughnuts can you eat without licking your lips?' competition. She won by a country mile and was well ahead when the second place failed at 12, she went a further four before stopping. Her trick? was to bypass her lips by shoving the doughnut in her mouth in one go! Another time, she said she would be going on a diet, as her daughter was getting married. A very secret office sweep was arranged, and the day before the wedding her 'best friend' asked about the progress, which was then told to the office. The winner was plus 7lbs. Finally, following a lengthy diatribe on the reason why (excuses) she had trouble losing weight, one woman finally snapped. 'The only reason you are like that is because your ahole isn't as big as your mouth' The whole office exploded including the bosses. One of the best put downs i have ever heard.
hole isn't as big as your mouth' The whole office exploded including the bosses. One of the best put downs i have ever heard.I was going to post saying that even overweight people need to eat too, implying that your getting mad about someone eating who was noticeably larger than most, and I got a bit annoyed at your post because as I said, even overweight folks need sustenance... But then I went on to read that this fat fk mongaloid was eating all day, never stopping. Hahaha
4th paragraph you embellish on how you'd like to tell him off but you don't, and you use the excuse for your restraint as "being British..."
LoL, what"s that got to do with anything lol it"d make more sense if your excuse was something like because your a level headed person, or because since your at work you would never just explode that like, thus keeping your professionalism. I don't know, not criticising, just thought it was funny.
Subsequently, just after that sentence you say he goes on to grab another M&S. What's that, like M&M's, was it a typo?
k mongaloid was eating all day, never stopping. Hahaha 4th paragraph you embellish on how you'd like to tell him off but you don't, and you use the excuse for your restraint as "being British..."
LoL, what"s that got to do with anything lol it"d make more sense if your excuse was something like because your a level headed person, or because since your at work you would never just explode that like, thus keeping your professionalism. I don't know, not criticising, just thought it was funny.
Subsequently, just after that sentence you say he goes on to grab another M&S. What's that, like M&M's, was it a typo?
Edited by ESOG on Wednesday 17th October 06:32
Zod said:
ESOG said:
I was going to post saying that even overweight people need to eat too,
but they don't, do they? If they drank water, they could survive on their fat reserves for quite some time. Sure, they'd feel hungry and unhappy, but they'd slim down.
Marf said:
Zod said:
ESOG said:
I was going to post saying that even overweight people need to eat too,
but they don't, do they? If they drank water, they could survive on their fat reserves for quite some time. Sure, they'd feel hungry and unhappy, but they'd slim down.
Fat will give them energy. It's hardly as if fatties prioritise an ideal nutrient balance. As a temporary measure, not eating will allow a fat personm to lose weight by burning fat.
The diet industry is amazing.
Losing weight is SO fkING EASY its laughable, yet the human nature is to want to avoid hard work at every possible turn, I want to do this diet, that diet, blah blah blah.
I had this conversation with my partners mother the other day, who IMO is fat, she said she was on weightwatchers, which is obviously a triumph in marketing, however, she doesn't stick to it, and is therefore fat, and obviously someone we all hate. She said she was going to move to a new diet that included two days of fasting per week, and was moaning about how hard it would be. I told her quite frankly that is was ridiculous, and her lack of will power was staggering. How can you expect to stay on one of these diets for the rest of your life, because any loses you make will require that, unless you start doing some fking exercise. I said to her, why don't you walk to work once a day (having just google mapped it 1.9 miles), but she said it was too far, I said why not get the bus half the way and walk the rest, apparently that's a faff (this is the person that bought a brand new car for this very commute, its a year old and has done less than 1k miles). So I said why not go to the gym you pay £100 a month for, she said it was a good idea and forgot about it.
I mean, what the fk is wrong with people, if you're overweight, stop scrabbling round for excuses, eat less, or eat the same and accept that your new life needs movement otherwise you'll be fat forever. I only realized this through my own findings, I went from lifting weights and eating/drinking st to cycling 15 hours a week and still eating and drinking st, guess fking what folks? I lost 3 stone, shock horror (I wasn't fat in a classic sense anyway but you know). I'll be honest its taking real restraint not to go onto that phat fighters thread and give some people a good kick up the arse.
Losing weight is SO f
kING EASY its laughable, yet the human nature is to want to avoid hard work at every possible turn, I want to do this diet, that diet, blah blah blah. I had this conversation with my partners mother the other day, who IMO is fat, she said she was on weightwatchers, which is obviously a triumph in marketing, however, she doesn't stick to it, and is therefore fat, and obviously someone we all hate. She said she was going to move to a new diet that included two days of fasting per week, and was moaning about how hard it would be. I told her quite frankly that is was ridiculous, and her lack of will power was staggering. How can you expect to stay on one of these diets for the rest of your life, because any loses you make will require that, unless you start doing some f
king exercise. I said to her, why don't you walk to work once a day (having just google mapped it 1.9 miles), but she said it was too far, I said why not get the bus half the way and walk the rest, apparently that's a faff (this is the person that bought a brand new car for this very commute, its a year old and has done less than 1k miles). So I said why not go to the gym you pay £100 a month for, she said it was a good idea and forgot about it.I mean, what the f
k is wrong with people, if you're overweight, stop scrabbling round for excuses, eat less, or eat the same and accept that your new life needs movement otherwise you'll be fat forever. I only realized this through my own findings, I went from lifting weights and eating/drinking st to cycling 15 hours a week and still eating and drinking st, guess fking what folks? I lost 3 stone, shock horror (I wasn't fat in a classic sense anyway but you know). I'll be honest its taking real restraint not to go onto that phat fighters thread and give some people a good kick up the arse.
Halb said:
Do it!
Well part of me likes threads like this, which we could obviously not have if everyone was thin. ALSO I like buying st food for cheap (because poor people are mostly fat aren't they, isn't that what they moan about, bad food is so cheap hence they're fat?) so I should probably keep quiet.okgo said:
The diet industry is amazing.
Losing weight is SO fkING EASY its laughable, yet the human nature is to want to avoid hard work at every possible turn, I want to do this diet, that diet, blah blah blah.
I had this conversation with my partners mother the other day, who IMO is fat, she said she was on weightwatchers, which is obviously a triumph in marketing, however, she doesn't stick to it, and is therefore fat, and obviously someone we all hate. She said she was going to move to a new diet that included two days of fasting per week, and was moaning about how hard it would be. I told her quite frankly that is was ridiculous, and her lack of will power was staggering. How can you expect to stay on one of these diets for the rest of your life, because any loses you make will require that, unless you start doing some fking exercise. I said to her, why don't you walk to work once a day (having just google mapped it 1.9 miles), but she said it was too far, I said why not get the bus half the way and walk the rest, apparently that's a faff (this is the person that bought a brand new car for this very commute, its a year old and has done less than 1k miles). So I said why not go to the gym you pay £100 a month for, she said it was a good idea and forgot about it.
I mean, what the fk is wrong with people, if you're overweight, stop scrabbling round for excuses, eat less, or eat the same and accept that your new life needs movement otherwise you'll be fat forever. I only realized this through my own findings, I went from lifting weights and eating/drinking st to cycling 15 hours a week and still eating and drinking st, guess fking what folks? I lost 3 stone, shock horror (I wasn't fat in a classic sense anyway but you know). I'll be honest its taking real restraint not to go onto that phat fighters thread and give some people a good kick up the arse.
I am amazed that she has not managed to cover 100 extra miles than her commute in a year.Losing weight is SO f
kING EASY its laughable, yet the human nature is to want to avoid hard work at every possible turn, I want to do this diet, that diet, blah blah blah. I had this conversation with my partners mother the other day, who IMO is fat, she said she was on weightwatchers, which is obviously a triumph in marketing, however, she doesn't stick to it, and is therefore fat, and obviously someone we all hate. She said she was going to move to a new diet that included two days of fasting per week, and was moaning about how hard it would be. I told her quite frankly that is was ridiculous, and her lack of will power was staggering. How can you expect to stay on one of these diets for the rest of your life, because any loses you make will require that, unless you start doing some f
king exercise. I said to her, why don't you walk to work once a day (having just google mapped it 1.9 miles), but she said it was too far, I said why not get the bus half the way and walk the rest, apparently that's a faff (this is the person that bought a brand new car for this very commute, its a year old and has done less than 1k miles). So I said why not go to the gym you pay £100 a month for, she said it was a good idea and forgot about it.I mean, what the f
k is wrong with people, if you're overweight, stop scrabbling round for excuses, eat less, or eat the same and accept that your new life needs movement otherwise you'll be fat forever. I only realized this through my own findings, I went from lifting weights and eating/drinking st to cycling 15 hours a week and still eating and drinking st, guess fking what folks? I lost 3 stone, shock horror (I wasn't fat in a classic sense anyway but you know). I'll be honest its taking real restraint not to go onto that phat fighters thread and give some people a good kick up the arse.I get that 1.9 miles a day would be 893 a year over 235 days working.
3stone overweight and "not fat in the classic sense?".
Zod said:
Marf said:
Zod said:
ESOG said:
I was going to post saying that even overweight people need to eat too,
but they don't, do they? If they drank water, they could survive on their fat reserves for quite some time. Sure, they'd feel hungry and unhappy, but they'd slim down. Fat will give them energy. It's hardly as if fatties prioritise an ideal nutrient balance. As a temporary measure, not eating will allow a fat personm to lose weight by burning fat.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff