New Teaspoon Advice Please

[Hugo a Gogo]

The whole British Empire range of spoons were terrible lash-ups, rushed into production, lack of development, beset by problems all through their lifespan. Only towards the end did Johnny 'Six Fingers' Whitlock finally get the engineering right, just in time for the whole shop to be packed up and sold to Pakistan. Another tragedy of British manufacturing.

Anyway, they were all originally designed as .303 caliber, so there

[SCEtoAUX]

If you think that Six Fingers Whitlock "got the engineering right" on the Empire range you need to be asking yourself some very serious questions.

[Hugo a Gogo]

"Hugo, why are you so awesome?" and "Are you still employed in R&D at Krupp performance spoons AG?"

[Butter Face]

Hugo a Gogo said:

The whole British Empire range of spoons were terrible lash-ups, rushed into production, lack of development, beset by problems all through their lifespan. Only towards the end did Johnny 'Six Fingers' Whitlock finally get the engineering right, just in time for the whole shop to be packed up and sold to Pakistan. Another tragedy of British manufacturing.

Anyway, they were all originally designed as .303 caliber, so there

Hugo, whilst I respect your position at Krupp, I find your comments laughable. 'The whole British Empire range of spoons were terrible lash-ups' is incredibly incendiary and inflammatory to those of us who respect our forebearers and the spoon heritage we have before us.

I request you take back your comment otherwise I would be inclined to report you to the Britsh Board of Spooners and ask for your status to be reviewed!

[Blib]

Let's not forget that it was Hugo who was instrumental in the introduction of fluted return flanges on Krupp's Barnhoffstrasse 226(b).

That went well, didn't it, Hugo?

[KP328]

Last week i bought a book, ' David Wizard how to modify the (b) series'

In the book there is a chapter on achieving the ultimate vortex simply by skimming 5 microns from the reverse edge of the bowl, I bought a precision tool and will attempt the skimming.

[Hugo a Gogo]

oh the Empire fanboys are out...

and as for Blib;

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein
All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes. - Winston Churchill
The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. - Theodore Roosevelt
You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made. But I just kept pushing. - Rene Descartes
That f*cking Empire spoon is a disgrace. - Stephen Hawking

[Hugo a Gogo]

KP328 said:

Last week i bought a book, ' David Wizard how to modify the (b) series'

In the book there is a chapter on achieving the ultimate vortex simply by skimming 5 microns from the reverse edge of the bowl, I bought a precision tool and will attempt the skimming.

anything from 3 to 7 microns will suffice, as we found in repeated testing in Interlagos

[KP328]

With my precision tool i have decided to take off 9 microns because that would make the vortex even better surely?

[Butter Face]

You're a braver man than me, I'd have stuck with 8.7 MAXIMUM myself!

[NDA]

KP328 said:

With my precision tool i have decided to take off 9 microns because that would make the vortex even better surely?

Hardly laboratory conditions for such work to be honest.

To calculate the ratio of microns needed for vortex flow (and return) you will need to know the ellipse gradient and depth.

[PBCD]

The Crack Fox said:

Can all you bloody dinosaurs, expressing yourselves in fractions please stop? It's driving me half mental.

Is this you, The Crack Fox?

[SCEtoAUX]

I'll just leave this here:

[Butter Face]

I heard Hugo was in the area recently!!


Is he a secret Forker?

[Hugo a Gogo]

Are you incinerating something? If there are any more of these alligations the alligators will be dealt with most severely

[Shakermaker]

How do others on here match their spoons to the choice of mug or cup for their tea?

I'm slightly particular about my mugs, in the same way that I think we all are, when having a regular cuppa we have a preferred mug that we go to, the every day one or from a certain range. I'll always naturally choose either my "Haynes Land Rover" mug or my Scrabble tiles A mug if they are clean and in the cupboard. These two mugs are similar in size and shape, straight edged, wide mouthed. The perfect stirrer I find is a Scheff's Arvon. But when I am in the mood, I need a bigger mug, and for that there is a novelty Homer Simpson mug in the cupboard that I choose. Holds about 1/3rd more (or 33% for you fraction-haters!!). However, this mug is tapered inwards towards the base and so the tea stirs differently, and I choose a different spoon for this purpose, generally a softer-edged Gunnings

On posh occasions when the tea set comes out with the irritating little mugs and the tea spoon, I just leave my wife to do it and put up with the wrong way she makes tea, rather than risk my 1992 Arcelik Posterior.

Am i the only one matches spoon to mug?

[Hugo a Gogo]

You've got that arcelik about face

Mug to spoon of course, you bloody oaf

[sideways sid]

KP328 said:

With my precision tool i have decided to take off 9 microns because that would make the vortex even better surely?

Is anybody else alarmed that a reduction of 9 microns would take the surface profile much closer to the earlier and rarer Louis XI version, of which I own two from the rumoured ninety-two remaining in Europe?

Forgery might be too strong a word, but this unsavoury re-imagining is something that I feel should be shared with the relevant authorities.

[KP328]

Just a small update on the modification of the (b) series. ( just for the record i was not trying to make a forgery, i was just trying to improve the vortex )

• Skimming 9 microns from the reverse bowl edge was in hindsight a very bad idea.
• The spoon becomes unpredictable and out of control after the 3rd revolution.
• Only undertake this modding work under laboratory conditions, not the front garden. Atmospheric pressure can effect the molecular structure of the metal, also the neighbours think you are weird.
• Do Not use the wifes mug to experiment with unpredictable spoons, if the mug gets broken she will go apoplectic with rage.

[Willy Nilly]

The V in the side of the mug is a handy spoon rest that is all too often missing from modern mugs. It's something to do with Chinese labour laws that the V was removed from the manufacturing process.