Tales of revenge
Discussion
Ex G/F sent (obviously completely untrue) email to all my friends regarding small penis size after break up. Also stood in the street shouting like a right slapper to the same effect, and she was a tax partner in a well established and well heeled establishment. Not sure if that was 'revenge' or hot blood?
I had kidney stones in America and the doctor told me to drink a gallon of water every day. Bought a gallon bottle and put it in the fridge. Came back to find that one of the douchebags that I lived with, knowing that I needed it, drank all of my water.
He went down to the laundry to clean his working clothes for the week. Once they were washed he put it all in the dryer, then left.
I pissed in the dryer. The piss dried into his clothes. He spend the week at work wondering where the smell of stale piss was coming from.
He went down to the laundry to clean his working clothes for the week. Once they were washed he put it all in the dryer, then left.
I pissed in the dryer. The piss dried into his clothes. He spend the week at work wondering where the smell of stale piss was coming from.
A violent psychotic ex broke my nose, cut me pretty badly, damaged my stuff, spread malicious rumours and reported me to the police for things I hadn't done.
So under the pretence of making peace with her I snuck into her room and coated her rampant rabbit in a bit of oil and cayenne pepper. Bet that stung a bit.
So under the pretence of making peace with her I snuck into her room and coated her rampant rabbit in a bit of oil and cayenne pepper. Bet that stung a bit.
Edited by Council Baby on Sunday 23 June 21:06
at CB there.
tty Cushions.At junior school, I - and a friend - were bullied by a bigger lad. He used to demand any sweets or pocket money from us and give us chinese burns or dead legs if we didn't co-operate. Being the late 1950s/early 1960s, this wasn't dealt with at all by teachers and was quite common.
We decided to exact our own revenge with something he could not resist.
I bought a bar of fruit-and-nut chocolate and my friend stole some Beechams Pills from his parents' medicine cabinet. (Not sure if they are still available today, they are very powerful laxatives and are absolutely tiny little things - maybe 2mm diameter.)
We softened the chocolate gently and carefully inserted 30 or 40 pills with a pin-head and carefully re-wrapped the bar.
The following day, as expected, the bully searched our pockets and was delighted to find the chocolate. He scoffed it greedily and ran off looking smug with his conquest.
To say that it made him ill would be an understatement. By early afternoon he was running uncontrollably out of lessons to the toilet and eventually was sent home. He was ill for several days and, with hindsight, I'm surprised we didn't actually do some permanent damage.
Revenge was, however very sweet.
We decided to exact our own revenge with something he could not resist.
I bought a bar of fruit-and-nut chocolate and my friend stole some Beechams Pills from his parents' medicine cabinet. (Not sure if they are still available today, they are very powerful laxatives and are absolutely tiny little things - maybe 2mm diameter.)
We softened the chocolate gently and carefully inserted 30 or 40 pills with a pin-head and carefully re-wrapped the bar.
The following day, as expected, the bully searched our pockets and was delighted to find the chocolate. He scoffed it greedily and ran off looking smug with his conquest.
To say that it made him ill would be an understatement. By early afternoon he was running uncontrollably out of lessons to the toilet and eventually was sent home. He was ill for several days and, with hindsight, I'm surprised we didn't actually do some permanent damage.
Revenge was, however very sweet.
A friend was in a really nice house share, (spacious, great location, garage, and so on,) with a couple of girls.
The girls turned on him, and told the land-lord "Either he goes, or we both go." Understandably, the land-lord chose to lose one renter, not two, and my friend was given one month notice.
Suitably put out, my friend made the most of the month by making "special contributions" to their shampoo and conditioner bottles, presumably resulting in much shinier, glossy hair.
* I do not condone such behaviour, and don't find it funny. Revenge is a bad thing, and should not be undertaken.
The girls turned on him, and told the land-lord "Either he goes, or we both go." Understandably, the land-lord chose to lose one renter, not two, and my friend was given one month notice.
Suitably put out, my friend made the most of the month by making "special contributions" to their shampoo and conditioner bottles, presumably resulting in much shinier, glossy hair.
* I do not condone such behaviour, and don't find it funny. Revenge is a bad thing, and should not be undertaken.
Adenauer said:
Having been married to my then wife for all of about a year, I had to attend two back to back exhibitions in France and Germany for work. I had been away doing these for nearly two weeks and had set up the stands and then helped man the exhibitions myself, I even drove the 7.5t lorry over there from Uxbridge with all the stuff in it to save money.
Anyway, at the end of the second exhibition I packed everything into the lorry and headed off from Friedrichshafen toward England. I had planned to stop off for the night in Belgium but was making really good progress so decided to "go for it" and surprise the wife by arriving in the middle of the night instead of the next day.
I pulled up outside our house at about 3am, crept in, and found her lying in bed with some other bloke
I switched on the light, asked him to get out of my bed, hit him once or twice, asked him to leave, and then told the wife that I thought we ought to have a chat.
As it turned out she was very sorry and was really pleased that I was willing to give it another try, very VERY pleased, if only she knew what she was dealing with! You see we had booked a two week holiday in Kenya a few months earlier, a rather expensive one and I didn't want to miss it. So, a month or so before we were due to go, I got in touch with an estate agent mate of mine who came to look at "my" house whilst she was out, he valued it and I told him to sell it while we were in Kenya, at 20% below the asking price so that it would definitely sell.
Off we flew to Malindi and had a fabulous two weeks in the Hemmingways Hotel, I was being very extravegant, I even chartered a whole fishing boat that would normally take 6 people ('ol Jogi 2'), just for myself, my ex-wife put it on her credit card as I couldn't find mine I spent a lovely day catching swordfish and drinking beer whilst she was probably being pounded by some big black bloke, still, no worries.
Wo got back to England all tanned and lovey dovey, she returned to work and I visited my mate, the house was sold and I had a few bits of paper to sign. A few weeks later after I'd arranged to share a posh flat in Bath with a mate of mine and shag anything that moved for a year whilst blowing my money made from the sale of the house I got an exchange date, oooh, this was getting exciting I took a days holiday for the day before the big day and the previous evening had a lovely meal with the wife, treated her like a queen, had plenty of hot luvin', she was sooo happy and kept telling me how grateful she was. The next morning we both went to work, well, I say both, I drove around the block and then straight back home. I put the stereo in the car, packed up a few essentials (fishing rod, snooker cue, and a pair of jeans), and left her a note which read: "Remember a few months ago when you did the dirty on me? Well, I'm off, you have until tomorrow to get out, take what you want, the house is sold, have a nice life, tata".
Poor girl had nowhere else to go.
Still, I enjoyed the fishing...
My tatty old house that I sold (I miss the maroon GT6 though
not the white one, bloody rustbucket) 
Posh top floor flat in Bath with the new pulling toy
Now THAT's how to deal with a cheater
Centurion07 said:
Adenauer said:
Having been married to my then wife for all of about a year, I had to attend two back to back exhibitions in France and Germany for work. I had been away doing these for nearly two weeks and had set up the stands and then helped man the exhibitions myself, I even drove the 7.5t lorry over there from Uxbridge with all the stuff in it to save money.
Anyway, at the end of the second exhibition I packed everything into the lorry and headed off from Friedrichshafen toward England. I had planned to stop off for the night in Belgium but was making really good progress so decided to "go for it" and surprise the wife by arriving in the middle of the night instead of the next day.
I pulled up outside our house at about 3am, crept in, and found her lying in bed with some other bloke
I switched on the light, asked him to get out of my bed, hit him once or twice, asked him to leave, and then told the wife that I thought we ought to have a chat.
As it turned out she was very sorry and was really pleased that I was willing to give it another try, very VERY pleased, if only she knew what she was dealing with! You see we had booked a two week holiday in Kenya a few months earlier, a rather expensive one and I didn't want to miss it. So, a month or so before we were due to go, I got in touch with an estate agent mate of mine who came to look at "my" house whilst she was out, he valued it and I told him to sell it while we were in Kenya, at 20% below the asking price so that it would definitely sell.
Off we flew to Malindi and had a fabulous two weeks in the Hemmingways Hotel, I was being very extravegant, I even chartered a whole fishing boat that would normally take 6 people ('ol Jogi 2'), just for myself, my ex-wife put it on her credit card as I couldn't find mine I spent a lovely day catching swordfish and drinking beer whilst she was probably being pounded by some big black bloke, still, no worries.
Wo got back to England all tanned and lovey dovey, she returned to work and I visited my mate, the house was sold and I had a few bits of paper to sign. A few weeks later after I'd arranged to share a posh flat in Bath with a mate of mine and shag anything that moved for a year whilst blowing my money made from the sale of the house I got an exchange date, oooh, this was getting exciting I took a days holiday for the day before the big day and the previous evening had a lovely meal with the wife, treated her like a queen, had plenty of hot luvin', she was sooo happy and kept telling me how grateful she was. The next morning we both went to work, well, I say both, I drove around the block and then straight back home. I put the stereo in the car, packed up a few essentials (fishing rod, snooker cue, and a pair of jeans), and left her a note which read: "Remember a few months ago when you did the dirty on me? Well, I'm off, you have until tomorrow to get out, take what you want, the house is sold, have a nice life, tata".
Poor girl had nowhere else to go.
Still, I enjoyed the fishing...
My tatty old house that I sold (I miss the maroon GT6 though
not the white one, bloody rustbucket) Posh top floor flat in Bath with the new pulling toy
Now THAT's how to deal with a cheater
Chunkymonkey71 said:
I pissed in the dryer. The piss dried into his clothes. He spend the week at work wondering where the smell of stale piss was coming from.
No he didn't. He knew where the smell was coming from as soon as he opened the dryer door. So he certainly wouldn't have been wearing any of those clothes the next week at work.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff