Pistonheaders and their First World Problems.

[KiloRomeo]

nonsequitur said:

My gardener is orf sick, so I am having to flatten all the mole hills on the east lawn myself.

Get the gardnerer to pee in a bucket, let it ferment for a fortnight or so, then direct the now recovered gardnering serf to pour fermented pee into moleholes,
Mole free for ever, I guarantee.

[nonsequitur]

KiloRomeo said:

nonsequitur said:

My gardener is orf sick, so I am having to flatten all the mole hills on the east lawn myself.

Get the gardnerer to pee in a bucket, let it ferment for a fortnight or so, then direct the now recovered gardnering serf to pour fermented pee into moleholes,
Mole free for ever, I guarantee.

He's always peed in a bucket. The facilities in the staff quarters are limited.

[RizzoTheRat]

Flibble said:

Supermarkets are way better for sunscreen IME.

The Boots one with the insect repellant in it is brilliant but they don't always seem to stock it. Plus the nearest branch which is actually open at the weekends when I could get there is in the next city!

[vaud]

Flibble said:

Supermarkets are way better for sunscreen IME.

They are.

I applied an entire Waitrose to my body in Portugal and didn't get sunburn.

[jingars]

vaud said:

Flibble said:

Supermarkets are way better for sunscreen IME.

They are.

I applied an entire Waitrose to my body in Portugal and didn't get sunburn.

I laughed at that comment far more than a normally adjusted person should have.

I am unable to purchase the decaffinated loose leaf tea that is my wife's preferred beverage; seemingly no stock available anywhere.

[talksthetorque]

JustGREENI said:

‘YOU have to drive? COUNCIL!

One pays people to do things one doesn't like to make sure one has the time to do things one does.

[illmonkey]

How does one tip the staff at Christmas? I find my self in receipt of some ‘biccies’ from a few of them. Rather than wrap and return said present I feel naughty enough to indulge is such caaaancil behaviour. Don’t tell mother!

Anyway, is a comparable canapé from the bottom of the larder, caviar, blue cheese, bubbles etc, sufficient, or are they really after spondulix?

[cmvtec]

The heated seats in my Jaguar aren't as hot as the heated seats in her BMW.

Most frustrating.

[Monkeylegend]

cmvtec said:

The heated seats in my Jaguar aren't as hot as the heated seats in her BMW.

Most frustrating.

The bigger the bum the more heat needed to penetrate.

But don't tell her that.

[cmvtec]

Monkeylegend said:

cmvtec said:

The heated seats in my Jaguar aren't as hot as the heated seats in her BMW.

Most frustrating.

The bigger the bum the more heat needed to penetrate.

But don't tell her that.

I think the word they use these days is "thic"

You're not wrong,t hough.

[Blown2CV]

seefarr said:

The enormous Boots near work has swapped all it's sunscreen for horrid, cheap celebrity endorsed perfume. Looks like I'm going to have to get ripped off and buy it on resort in the Republic of Barbados next week. Come to think of it, I might ask the butler to get it ahead of time so I don't have to visit anything so plebeian as a "shop" again.

they've always done this seasonally.

[308mate]

Fitting the tyres and suspension I want on my new (to me) F250 SuperDuty would mean it no longer fitting in the garage. Blast!

[Flibble]

308mate said:

Fitting the tyres and suspension I want on my new (to me) F250 SuperDuty would mean it no longer fitting in the garage. Blast!

Clearly you need a new garage.

[Don1]

The en-suite is having work done, so showering in the guest en-suite. Then why did I leave by towel in bathroom number three, thereby enduring a naked wet dash through the house?

It's enough to drive a man to drink.

[Tango13]

Don1 said:

The en-suite is having work done, so showering in the guest en-suite. Then why did I leave by towel in bathroom number three, thereby enduring a naked wet dash through the house?

It's enough to drive a man to drink.

Might I make so bold as to suggest putting some clothes on before driving to the local off licence?

[nonsequitur]

Tango13 said:

Don1 said:

The en-suite is having work done, so showering in the guest en-suite. Then why did I leave by towel in bathroom number three, thereby enduring a naked wet dash through the house?

It's enough to drive a man to drink.

Might I make so bold as to suggest putting some clothes on before driving to the local off licence?

Unless he wants to buy from the 'Naked' drinks range.

[Road2Ruin]

My wife was given a bottle of gin as a present from one of the staff....Hendricks..gah, cheap and cheerful I suppose. Now that's definitely enough to turn a man to drink. Fml.

[jimmyjimjim]

308mate said:

Fitting the tyres and suspension I want on my new (to me) F250 SuperDuty would mean it no longer fitting in the garage. Blast!

It's not like it needs to fit in the garage given the weather, is it?

[Flibble]

Ordered a nice bottle of champagne for Christmas. DHL have lost it. I'm away from tomorrow. So I guess its a drier than expected holiday for me.

[JustGREENI]

Lesson there…. Send your own staff to collect.