Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Calza said:
So a bit more advice please...
Up to five dates with this girl, three have been overnight things normally with the next day together. By her own admission we're probably a bit more than 5 dates would suggest.
She had plans this weekend, and next weekend, and the following two (a week away for the final two). Seeing each other in the week is tricky enough as she finishes late, I start early and we're an hour apart. Not impossible but not ideal. I've got surgery tomorrow which she knows about and will be away for a week / maybe two to recover from that.
Her plans to go out last night got cancelled, so instead she decided to meet an old school friend (who lives about 50 minutes away) as he was remotely near her, and they had a night out instead.
I know the standard PH reply is that she's screwing him, but that I'm putting aside that concern for the moment. I just feel it's a bit out of order that since we won't see each other for a while due to her plans, and that I'm in theatre tomorrow she would want to see me, even if just for a bit?!
Am I just more involved than she is?
Send her this text later this week: "Thanks for coming to visit me yesterday, really cheered me up and was great to see you" as if it was meant for somebody else. She will reply something like "was this meant for me?" and just reply "Oops, no, but why don't you come round with a takeaway for me on Saturday night..." This will really get her going, as women feel if men have their options open and there's a bit of competition then you must be a good catch. HTH.Up to five dates with this girl, three have been overnight things normally with the next day together. By her own admission we're probably a bit more than 5 dates would suggest.
She had plans this weekend, and next weekend, and the following two (a week away for the final two). Seeing each other in the week is tricky enough as she finishes late, I start early and we're an hour apart. Not impossible but not ideal. I've got surgery tomorrow which she knows about and will be away for a week / maybe two to recover from that.
Her plans to go out last night got cancelled, so instead she decided to meet an old school friend (who lives about 50 minutes away) as he was remotely near her, and they had a night out instead.
I know the standard PH reply is that she's screwing him, but that I'm putting aside that concern for the moment. I just feel it's a bit out of order that since we won't see each other for a while due to her plans, and that I'm in theatre tomorrow she would want to see me, even if just for a bit?!
Am I just more involved than she is?
mikefacel said:
Send her this text later this week: "Thanks for coming to visit me yesterday, really cheered me up and was great to see you" as if it was meant for somebody else. She will reply something like "was this meant for me?" and just reply "Oops, no, but why don't you come round with a takeaway for me on Saturday night..." This will really get her going, as women feel if men have their options open and there's a bit of competition then you must be a good catch. HTH.
Copied and pasted 
Calza said:
mikefacel said:
Send her this text later this week: "Thanks for coming to visit me yesterday, really cheered me up and was great to see you" as if it was meant for somebody else. She will reply something like "was this meant for me?" and just reply "Oops, no, but why don't you come round with a takeaway for me on Saturday night..." This will really get her going, as women feel if men have their options open and there's a bit of competition then you must be a good catch. HTH.
Copied and pasted The Moose said:
Calza said:
mikefacel said:
Send her this text later this week: "Thanks for coming to visit me yesterday, really cheered me up and was great to see you" as if it was meant for somebody else. She will reply something like "was this meant for me?" and just reply "Oops, no, but why don't you come round with a takeaway for me on Saturday night..." This will really get her going, as women feel if men have their options open and there's a bit of competition then you must be a good catch. HTH.
Copied and pasted So you have doubt what she's up to and you want to sow the seed of doubt in her head too?
She'll think you're keeping a secret as you never mentioned someone popping around before.
I honestly don't see the point of trying to noise her up as it could backfire on you. She might just tell you where to go.
If the relationship actually goes anywhere it has already started out with a lack of trust on both sides.
Driver101 said:
Probably a right mess.
So you have doubt what she's up to and you want to sow the seed of doubt in her head too?
She'll think you're keeping a secret as you never mentioned someone popping around before.
I honestly don't see the point of trying to noise her up as it could backfire on you. She might just tell you where to go.
If the relationship actually goes anywhere it has already started out with a lack of trust on both sides.
That's the sort of beta attitude I'm trying to get rid of. Women don't think the same way as men, so don't impose your own standards on them. They like a bit of mystery in a man and a bit of competition. In fact, it seems there's nothing to lose as the relationship is going nowhere and suspicion she's seeing someone else. FWIW, I was in a similar position last week, was given similar advice, did it despite my doubts, and it worked a treat. She is now chasing me. I don't care if you believe that or not, I'm just paying it forward. So you have doubt what she's up to and you want to sow the seed of doubt in her head too?
She'll think you're keeping a secret as you never mentioned someone popping around before.
I honestly don't see the point of trying to noise her up as it could backfire on you. She might just tell you where to go.
If the relationship actually goes anywhere it has already started out with a lack of trust on both sides.
mikefacel said:
That's the sort of beta attitude I'm trying to get rid of. Women don't think the same way as men, so don't impose your own standards on them. They like a bit of mystery in a man and a bit of competition. In fact, it seems there's nothing to lose as the relationship is going nowhere and suspicion she's seeing someone else. FWIW, I was in a similar position last week, was given similar advice, did it despite my doubts, and it worked a treat. She is now chasing me. I don't care if you believe that or not, I'm just paying it forward.
I don't think you'll get anyone not believing you, but certainly to me it seems pretty silly to play games like that. If you want to get laid then sure you can 'play the game' but it's not the way to go about getting a relationship IMO.Oh, and 'beta attitude'? Give it a break.
Calza said:
Woah sorry - I was joking. I'm not actually going to send that?!
So she had plans not involving you, then when they fell through she went out with some other mate instead? Who knows if she's screwing him but either way these sorts of insecurities tend to be self fulfilling. Chill out and try not to give a f
k at this stage. Climbing date on Friday with Polish lass went well, she got the train back a couple of hours ago.
After climbing it was cocktails, rockabilly bar, then a club where she talked me into a dodgy exchange with a hoody in the smoking area. This resulted in us dancing to drum and base until 5am. Things got progressively more interesting when we got back to mine. Left the house a couple of times for food.
She has certainly changed my outlook on accountants.
Not sure if I'll see her again but made for an interesting weekend.
mikefacel said:
Driver101 said:
Probably a right mess.
So you have doubt what she's up to and you want to sow the seed of doubt in her head too?
She'll think you're keeping a secret as you never mentioned someone popping around before.
I honestly don't see the point of trying to noise her up as it could backfire on you. She might just tell you where to go.
If the relationship actually goes anywhere it has already started out with a lack of trust on both sides.
That's the sort of beta attitude I'm trying to get rid of. Women don't think the same way as men, so don't impose your own standards on them. They like a bit of mystery in a man and a bit of competition. In fact, it seems there's nothing to lose as the relationship is going nowhere and suspicion she's seeing someone else. FWIW, I was in a similar position last week, was given similar advice, did it despite my doubts, and it worked a treat. She is now chasing me. I don't care if you believe that or not, I'm just paying it forward. So you have doubt what she's up to and you want to sow the seed of doubt in her head too?
She'll think you're keeping a secret as you never mentioned someone popping around before.
I honestly don't see the point of trying to noise her up as it could backfire on you. She might just tell you where to go.
If the relationship actually goes anywhere it has already started out with a lack of trust on both sides.
Just clicked on your previous posts and posting the things you have in the private detective, relationship woes and suicide threads, it sounds as if you're a bit messed up yourself.
You don't seem in the right frame of mind and try things to throw women into a state of panic too.
Have you considered that maybe your attitude doesn't actually have the desired effect you think it had that you find yourself in the positions you do?
It reads to me as if your messed up game doesn't work, yet you can't see that.
Driver101 said:
I do belive you. I'd also think the relationship would be the kind to end up on Jeremy Kyle.
Just clicked on your previous posts and posting the things you have in the private detective, relationship woes and suicide threads, it sounds as if you're a bit messed up yourself.
You don't seem in the right frame of mind and try things to throw women into a state of panic too.
Have you considered that maybe your attitude doesn't actually have the desired effect you think it had that you find yourself in the positions you do?
It reads to me as if your messed up game doesn't work, yet you can't see that.
To put it positively and ignoring the insult, yes I've had a bit of a crap time in the past. However, this has been a learning curve and there are a lot of things I've learnt, especially about women, that most men are blind to and in denial about, of which you seem to be one. So by giving some of my knowledge on those threads maybe I helped someone (seem to be plenty of positive responses to them and I've had PMs that have said thank you). A couple of months ago I came out of a very nice 3 year relationship (which I ended because I didn't see a long term future with her) so there's no doubt I see women positively overall, just that men are prone to denying really bad ones exist or that they think differently to us. Women think emotionally, men think rationally. That's how I see it. You could be right, I could be wrong, but I'm entitled to express my opinion. This is an open forum and all views are allowed as far as I see it. I've got better things to do than research your background and past posts, but I feel there can only be a positive thing in putting new knowledge in forums that is not mainstream but may actually be true or help somebody - we're all entitled to our opinions without insulting eachother.Just clicked on your previous posts and posting the things you have in the private detective, relationship woes and suicide threads, it sounds as if you're a bit messed up yourself.
You don't seem in the right frame of mind and try things to throw women into a state of panic too.
Have you considered that maybe your attitude doesn't actually have the desired effect you think it had that you find yourself in the positions you do?
It reads to me as if your messed up game doesn't work, yet you can't see that.
ETA: FFS, this is a thread about online dating, a medium full of deception. I was just trying to give a trivial but possibly effective tip to someone who wanted another date with a woman who seemed to lose interest and therefore had nothing to lose.
Edited by mikefacel on Monday 11th May 09:45
I think creating drama where there isnt any, and there isnt a need for any brings problems that will come back to bite you on the arse later.
If girlie decides that she wants to take dick from someone else, who be it for us to try and control someone elses choices. You can only really draw people in if they want to invest time in you, making them do it by creating a problem gets a bit too playground rah which puts everyone on edge.
If girlie decides that she wants to take dick from someone else, who be it for us to try and control someone elses choices. You can only really draw people in if they want to invest time in you, making them do it by creating a problem gets a bit too playground rah which puts everyone on edge.
mikefacel said:
To put it positively and ignoring the insult, yes I've had a bit of a crap time in the past. However, this has been a learning curve and there are a lot of things I've learnt, especially about women, that most men are blind to and in denial about, of which you seem to be one. So by giving some of my knowledge on those threads maybe I helped someone (seem to be plenty of positive responses to them and I've had PMs that have said thank you). A couple of months ago I came out of a very nice 3 year relationship (which I ended because I didn't see a long term future with her) so there's no doubt I see women positively overall, just that men are prone to denying really bad ones exist or that they think differently to us. Women think emotionally, men think rationally. That's how I see it. You could be right, I could be wrong, but I'm entitled to express my opinion. This is an open forum and all views are allowed as far as I see it. I've got better things to do than research your background and past posts, but I feel there can only be a positive thing in putting new knowledge in forums that is not mainstream but may actually be true or help somebody - we're all entitled to our opinions without insulting eachother.
ETA: FFS, this is a thread about online dating, a medium full of deception. I was just trying to give a trivial but possibly effective tip to someone who wanted another date with a woman who seemed to lose interest and therefore had nothing to lose.
What are men/me in denial about? ETA: FFS, this is a thread about online dating, a medium full of deception. I was just trying to give a trivial but possibly effective tip to someone who wanted another date with a woman who seemed to lose interest and therefore had nothing to lose.
Edited by mikefacel on Monday 11th May 09:45
Are you sure you aren't making something out of nothing?
Do you not think it's strange that I'm not the one who finds myself in really dark positions in life with women, and you are? Reading some of your other posts it's a bit unhinged.
Reading the post from the guy this is related to, it doesn't read as if he's just having fun. He sees the relationship more advanced than a few dates and is upset at getting blown out.
Your post wasn't helpful at all and I don't see how you think it could. Like I say you attitude clearly has landed you in some dark positions, so something clearly doesn't work.
These silly mind games,views and issues give me the impression the type of women you interact with aren't of the highest standard.
Edited by Driver101 on Monday 11th May 10:28
Edited by Driver101 on Monday 11th May 10:44
CountZero23 said:
So she had plans not involving you, then when they fell through she went out with some other mate instead?
Who knows if she's screwing him but either way these sorts of insecurities tend to be self fulfilling. Chill out and try not to give a fk at this stage.
Climbing date on Friday with Polish lass went well, she got the train back a couple of hours ago.
After climbing it was cocktails, rockabilly bar, then a club where she talked me into a dodgy exchange with a hoody in the smoking area. This resulted in us dancing to drum and base until 5am. Things got progressively more interesting when we got back to mine. Left the house a couple of times for food.
She has certainly changed my outlook on accountants.
Not sure if I'll see her again but made for an interesting weekend.
Pretty much - it only bothered me because she's busy the next few weekends too, plus my op today so thought she might opt to see me instead. Nevermind!Who knows if she's screwing him but either way these sorts of insecurities tend to be self fulfilling. Chill out and try not to give a f
k at this stage. Climbing date on Friday with Polish lass went well, she got the train back a couple of hours ago.
After climbing it was cocktails, rockabilly bar, then a club where she talked me into a dodgy exchange with a hoody in the smoking area. This resulted in us dancing to drum and base until 5am. Things got progressively more interesting when we got back to mine. Left the house a couple of times for food.
She has certainly changed my outlook on accountants.
Not sure if I'll see her again but made for an interesting weekend.
That sounds pretty good. Out of curiosity why are you not sure about seeing her again if you managed to spend so much time with her successfully?
Calza said:
Pretty much - it only bothered me because she's busy the next few weekends too, plus my op today so thought she might opt to see me instead. Nevermind!
It certainly sounds a bit stty from what you've said. Really depends on how close you guys have got and the kind of girl she is? Has she sent you a text wishing you well before the op?Best of luck with that btw mate!
Calza said:
That sounds pretty good. Out of curiosity why are you not sure about seeing her again if you managed to spend so much time with her successfully?
She's a cool girl and did have a right laugh, though if we'd spent much more time together I would of started going a bit bonkers. She did talk, allot.Still, dirty as hell and fun so if she wants a round two with no strings I reckon I could find the time
CountZero23 said:
It certainly sounds a bit stty from what you've said. Really depends on how close you guys have got and the kind of girl she is? Has she sent you a text wishing you well before the op?
Best of luck with that btw mate!
I think we're quite close to be honest, like I said she's said herself we were probably more than 5 dates suggested. Nope, she got offended at a joke I said yesterday and hasn't spoken to me since. To be honest I think that alone will probably end it for me, you hardly need to be in love to have a bit of empathy to say "good luck" or "thinking of you" before a serious operation do you?!tty from what you've said. Really depends on how close you guys have got and the kind of girl she is? Has she sent you a text wishing you well before the op?Best of luck with that btw mate!
CountZero23 said:
She's a cool girl and did have a right laugh, though if we'd spent much more time together I would of started going a bit bonkers. She did talk, allot.
Still, dirty as hell and fun so if she wants a round two with no strings I reckon I could find the time
If you hadn't said accountant, I'd have sworn you were talking about my flat mate!Still, dirty as hell and fun so if she wants a round two with no strings I reckon I could find the time
Still, sounds like you could get a fun thing out of it if that was your wish?
Talking to a girl on POF last night and it cam eup in conversation that i'd just moved into a new place and told her the name of the road. I cot owrried and could see where things were going when she simply replied with the name of the place. Turns out she'd just stopped dating my housemate.
Could have been awkward
Could have been awkward
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Nail head.
Had no idea what Rick Astley second biggest hit was so had to Google it so now typing this to the sounds of "Together Forever". f
k you Tonker 
Yup, bit mental and plenty of other options out there. Whenever I've gone out 'looking' for a girlfriend to fill some kind of hole that was left from the previous I've had very little in the way of success.
As soon as I'm really enjoying single life and couldn't give a sod about finding a girl then one always turns up to mess it all up. There's probably a lesson in there some where.
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