Match.com (Volume 6)

[Gretchen]

Pebbles167 said:

I wish people would stop quoting it, seeing the hand is scaring me away from the thread

Keep posting until we turn a page

[Pebbles167]

Good plan... er.. Is it cool if i use a selfie wearing Star Wars Pyjamas on POF.

Do girls go for that?

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:38

Cannot

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:38

Unsee

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:39

That

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:39

Hand

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:41

[Gretchen]

Pebbles167 said:

Good plan... er.. Is it cool if i use a selfie wearing Star Wars Pyjamas on POF.

Do girls go for that?

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:38

Cannot

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:38

Unsee

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:39

That

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:39

Hand

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 7th February 23:41

Are you wearing them topless in the gym with a six pack?

[Pebbles167]

I'm asking hypothetically I guess.

Besides, my gym membership is missing, along with my six pack.

[Sir Lord Poopie]

Actually saying I never had any success with online dating I did once end up in the home of a single mother I chatted to over POF in what one would call 'a council' area, but it didn't go too well.

I got to her residence, her living room seemed full to the ceiling with kids toys and it was a bit awkward sitting on the sofa next to her for two hours trying to make conversation, most of the time was sat in complete silence with her texting and me nursing a warm can of Stella, eyes glued to her TV but I can't remember what was on the telly. I made my excuses and left, she said she would call me but never did??

That was my first and last venture into online dating.

[anonymous-user]

Sir Lord Poopie said:

Actually saying I never had any success with online dating I did once end up in the home of a single mother I chatted to over POF in what one would call 'a council' area, but it didn't go too well.

I got to her residence, her living room seemed full to the ceiling with kids toys and it was a bit awkward sitting on the sofa next to her for two hours trying to make conversation, most of the time was sat in complete silence with her texting and me nursing a warm can of Stella, eyes glued to her TV but I can't remember what was on the telly. I made my excuses and left, she said she would call me but never did??

That was my first and last venture into online dating.

Yup, sounds pretty much like your typical POF story. If you were an Alpha you would have been balls deep after five minutes. I can only assume she thought you might be a potential beta wallet but you clearly don't have enough money.

Lucky escape whichever way you look at it.

[Pebbles167]

Sir Lord Poopie said:

..I got to her residence, her living room seemed full to the ceiling with kids toys and it was a bit awkward sitting on the sofa next to her for two hours trying to make conversation, most of the time was sat in complete silence with her texting and me nursing a warm can of Stella, eyes glued to her TV but I can't remember what was on the telly. I made my excuses and left..

I had almost the exact same thing when I was new. Got speaking go a girl and was invited to her house instead of out for a drink. "Strange" i thought, but what the hell i figured, "give it a go". So I turned up, typical bad estate, bottles of beer everywhere, kids toys, etc.

On arrival, a lass who turned out to be her sister let me in, who to my surprise I was also messaging on POF (oddly this was occasionally brought up but neither seemed to care). Luckily the girl I went to meet and her sister were extremely pretty so I decided to stay for a bit, it's the one plus point. They had a friend round too actually, but never mind her because she looked awful, just awful.

The primary girl, her friend and said sister were all chatting, sat in pj's with bare feet and were tucking into some sort of pasta/curry. Ive been handed a beer, and I'm sat awkwardly in the corner. The pasta gave off a sort of sweaty smell, which made me slightly nauseous, but luckily the smell didn't last long as they soon finished eating, and sparked up cigarettes, with the friend sparking up a spliff.

At this point it's 4pm on a Friday and I'm wondering what kind of my excuse I can make for leaving that won't offend or seem awkward. They are talking about their friends and brothers who I know of (and know don't partcularly like me, after i slept with one of their exes) and I'm just hoping they don't turn up, or there will almost certainly be a fight.

Anyway after about an hour of watching st TV and listening to her, her sister and friend recall last night's drink/drug fuelled antics, recent run ins with their violent exes, and said girls kids (who shed just lost custody of through poor responsibility) i was invited upstairs.

I'd like to say I walked away, truth is I went upstairs, and after we heard the sister and friend leave, we had the house to ourselves and I was immediately pounced on. Ultimately I preformed like a complete amateur but I had mixed feelings I guess. We put a film on and had a chat, where she opened up a bit and I started to understand her a little. I got the impression she'd lived a hard life, was abused when younger, and had been through half the men of the town who only ever used her or slapped her about. In the end she just smiled, kissed me and asked me to cuddle her as she drifted off to sleep. It was the most comfortable I'd been since I'd arrived. One she was asleep, I quietly got up and left.

I text her the next day, and we actually did arrange another date. This got cancelled as she got arrested the next night for a assaulting a PC and got taken to court.

I did meet up with her a year later after chatting on Facebook. We had a fun time actually, she told me she actually liked me since I didn't just use her or treat her like a piece of meat. She genuinely seemed to have a few of the more serious aspects of her life back on track, and I think sees her kids regularly now. We arranged to meet again, but it never happened.

I still see her around. She's always quietly drunk in the pub, smokes like hell and has put on a LOT of weight. She wears a lot of makeup, but it doesn't hide the fact she looks like she's aged 10 years in the space of about 4 or 5.

All a very strange and eye opening experience.

Edited by Pebbles167 on Wednesday 8th February 04:13

[slartibartfast]

Ste1987 said:

Sir Lord Poopie said:

Anyone tried speed dating?

I've never had any luck with the online dept.

Yup. Never had any luck so far but it's good fun

yes 2 mins chatting to 10 ladies and it went like this:-

1: monster
2: nice but didn't fancy me
3: monster
4: nice but didn't fancy me
5: nice but didn't fancy me

to save time I'll just skip to number 10 as 6 to 9 were all monsters

10: greasy long grey hair, a flowery dress that looked like it was from the 70's and hadn't been washed since then and the lady stunk of cat piss.

if you're trying speed dating just checkout the clientele and if it looks like you're in for a bad time then just leave.

[RRLover]

Pebbles167 said:

I had almost the exact same thing when I was new. Got speaking go a girl and was invited to her house instead of out for a drink. "Strange" i thought, but what the hell i figured, "give it a go". So I turned up, typical bad estate, bottles of beer everywhere, kids toys, etc.


All a very strange and eye opening experience.

Edited by Pebbles167 on Wednesday 8th February 04:13

I had something similar about 12 years ago.
My brother was messing about with some girl, he asked me to drop him off at her house I had a new c class at the time, so drove him to this "council estate" about 30 miles away.
I was invited in, same setup, kids toys everywhere but no kids, place a bit of tip but the sister was doable. Sat for an hour listening to jail / police chat. Was asked to take said sister a run in my "motor", kindly declined until she said she give me some action.
Took her a run, ended up with my trousers down. Then back to hers, gave her some loving ... what a shift she put in. Left a short time after.
Kind of felt a bit sorry for her due to he upbringing & the same being abused by various exes. Never ever asked or went looking to see what happened.

[Sir Lord Poopie]

-Logs into POF

[Pebbles167]

Sir Lord Poopie said:

-Logs into POF

Go for it, better than just sitting there, which is what some people do. This is what i mean, online dating works just as well as any other way, whether you're after a fling or a relationship. It's got it's drawbacks sure, but people who scoff or say it doesn't work are obviously doing something wrong.

In other news (for those that wish to know) I've not heard from the girl I'm dating for a few days now, so not sure what's going on there. I guess she's just busy, but based on past experience she might have got bored and so is going down the silent route. We chilled at her house and watched a fun film the other night, but by 11pm she politely kicked me out and told me she didn't want me to stay because she was tired. Obviously I told her it was fine as i don't just expect sex. The night seemed to go well, not sure if maybe she was disappointed that i didn't make a move and take things upstairs instead of watching a film.

I hope not, because i really like her. Still, when i got chatting to her initially my POF/Tinder accounts were fairly busy so I'm sure I'll manage having to go back there again if she's called it off.

Edited by Pebbles167 on Wednesday 8th February 13:52

[Pebbles167]

olly22n said:

If you like her man up and tell her, thats ultimately the reason you're dating people anyway, to find someone you like. Someone you zing with (to quote a cartoon) At least be clear with your intentions. If she bins you off then fire up the internet.

Cheers mate. I'll say something. Nothing to lose.

[battered]

Pebbles167 said:

olly22n said:

If you like her man up and tell her, thats ultimately the reason you're dating people anyway, to find someone you like. Someone you zing with (to quote a cartoon) At least be clear with your intentions. If she bins you off then fire up the internet.

Cheers mate. I'll say something. Nothing to lose.

Exactly this. Everybody appreciates people who are honest with them. It's not a declaration of undying love, you are just saying "I like being with you and I want to do more of it". She can then decide whether she likes you enough to continue or not, and that's fine. We're all consenting adults, after all. The time people get brassed off is when people don't talk to them.

[Pebbles167]

Don't think I'll get the opportunity to tell her how I feel.

She's not responding to a message I sent yesterday or today, she's deleted her POF account too by the looks of it. Signs point to her finding someone else.

I'd blame myself for not being forward enough, but in the past that's been what's killed things. Situations can be hard to read.

Ah well, I haven't got to the age of 27 without being able to recover from a kicking, back to the drawing board!

Update: We've had a chat. She's called it off. Was insecure about the fact i finished it with the previous girl i was seeing, so i could date her. I feel thats unfair, but what can i do?

Doesn't matter how much you prep yourself for it, it still sucks.

Edited by Pebbles167 on Wednesday 8th February 21:39

[Blown2CV]

Sir Lord Poopie said:

Anyone tried speed dating?

I've never had any luck with the online dept.

yep, the whole internet is the problem here, I'm with you. If you can't make an impact with a carefully thought through, funny but thoughtful profile peppered with pain-stakingly hand-selected images; all conspiring to leave any candidate desperate for more and with a gungy gusset... then how the fk are you going to go fill a drag-net full of clunge with a sequence of excruciatingly awkward 30 second staring competitions and humour vacuum, punctuated by ill-prepared fumbled small talk?

[Trabi601]

Sir Lord Poopie said:

Anyone tried speed dating?

That just reminded me of Spud's job interview in Trainspotting.

[Pebbles167]

Blown2CV said:

yep, the whole internet is the problem here, I'm with you. If you can't make an impact with a carefully thought through, funny but thoughtful profile peppered with pain-stakingly hand-selected images; all conspiring to leave any candidate desperate for more and with a gungy gusset... then how the fk are you going to go fill a drag-net full of clunge with a sequence of excruciatingly awkward 30 second staring competitions and humour vacuum, punctuated by ill-prepared fumbled small talk?

I'm not sure though, some people perform pretty well when they are put on the spot. A mate of mine has had a string of hot girlfriends he's met in bars and on jobs, but his online profile made him look really boring, and his conversation was crap. I think he deleted it in the end.

[Blown2CV]

Pebbles167 said:

Blown2CV said:

yep, the whole internet is the problem here, I'm with you. If you can't make an impact with a carefully thought through, funny but thoughtful profile peppered with pain-stakingly hand-selected images; all conspiring to leave any candidate desperate for more and with a gungy gusset... then how the fk are you going to go fill a drag-net full of clunge with a sequence of excruciatingly awkward 30 second staring competitions and humour vacuum, punctuated by ill-prepared fumbled small talk?

I'm not sure though, some people perform pretty well when they are put on the spot. A mate of mine has had a string of hot girlfriends he's met in bars and on jobs, but his online profile made him look really boring, and his conversation was crap. I think he deleted it in the end.

maybe it's the difference between someone who wants a partner and someone who wants a fk, and the audiences you meet in those arenas. I guess if he's never tried to find a proper partner, maybe he wouldn't know what to say in order to achieve that?

[JimmyConwayNW]

I am much better at talking to girls in person than online. I am dreadful at online small talk with girls on Tinder etc.

Find it really hard to drag out a conversation, I think I am pretty boring I just work and look at cars ffs haha

[Blown2CV]

JimmyConwayNW said:

I am much better at talking to girls in person than online. I am dreadful at online small talk with girls on Tinder etc.

Find it really hard to drag out a conversation, I think I am pretty boring I just work and look at cars ffs haha

It's an interesting one... i guess when i chat to girls in bars it tends not to be about core interests, beliefs, hobbies, hopes and dreams... it tends to be stupid jokes and nothing really that important... don't tend to divulge that much about me as such.