Match.com (Volume 6)

[johnwilliams77]

Vyse said:

why i am a stalker

'Hunting her down' on facebook. She may assume you just added her in the hope she had some holiday pics with some flesh showing for a little tug. Be honest - that's why you added her isn't it?

[Vyse]

You know me better than myself, lol. That isnt my style so no.

A few of us (work colleagues) added her on facebook the night/day after the leaving do. Dont know why but her account had the add friend option removed for months, so no one at work was able to send her friend request until recently.

johnwilliams77 said:

'Hunting her down' on facebook. She may assume you just added her in the hope she had some holiday pics with some flesh showing for a little tug. Be honest - that's why you added her isn't it?

[johnwilliams77]

Vyse said:

Facebook used to allow that option but I believe they took it away.
What are you waiting for? Have you sent her a message yet?

[ClockworkCupcake]

Vyse said:

Dont know why but her account had the add friend option removed for months, so no one at work was able to send her friend request until recently.

Facebook allows you to set privacy levels, including who can send you friend requests. I have mine set to allow "only friends of friends" to filter out random friend requests from strangers.

[Vyse]

Yeah sent it.

johnwilliams77 said:

Facebook used to allow that option but I believe they took it away.
What are you waiting for? Have you sent her a message yet?

[johnwilliams77]

Vyse said:

What did she say?

[battered]

johnwilliams77 said:

Vyse said:

Hehe, that was my plan also (srs). Ill see what happens. Thing is I don't remember asking her when she was leaving so she could be gone tomorrow morning. Not sure how to word the message so I can put the ball in her side of the court. She's into dinning out so I guess coffee/grab something to eat with her.

Use messenger
You: Hello, how are you?
Her: Good, thanks
You: Are you looking forward to your travels then?
Her: Yes, very excited
You: When did you say you're leaving?

Actually, given this info (travel) you're not going to get far but worth setting some foundations for when she is done (getting pumped all over the world)

Isn't it very straightforward? As above with the final line of 'hey, before you leave, fancy coming for a coffee, then you can tell me where you're going first? I need to get a postcard after all, fridge door's looking bare. So when are you free?'
She's coming home eventually after all.

[johnwilliams77]

battered said:

Isn't it very straightforward? As above with the final line of 'hey, before you leave, fancy coming for a coffee, then you can tell me where you're going first? I need to get a postcard after all, fridge door's looking bare. So when are you free?'
She's coming home eventually after all.

Unless she falls in love with someone on holiday.

[battered]

She could fall in love with the guy who serves the coffee while she's on the date with our hero. She could fall in love with the bus driver on the way home, or the guy at the end of the street. That's life.

Take her out and take your chances. One thing is sure, if he doesn't ask her out then she most certainly won't come out with him, and then it's all over.

[Vyse]

She said that we can meet-up when she is back. So the ball is on her side now. Will see.

johnwilliams77 said:

What did she say?

[ClockworkCupcake]

Vyse said:

She said that we can meet-up when she is back.

That's her being polite in saying that she isn't interested.

[sc0tt]

ClockworkCupcake said:

Vyse said:

She said that we can meet-up when she is back.

That's her being polite in saying that she isn't interested.

Move along.

[lemmingjames]

Carry on the chase, some girls love that

[Vyse]

Back onto the carousel.

[Marc p]

So after finally accepting that I may never meet the one and getting to grips with the fact that I would rather stay alone than get with someone just for the sake of it, I have my 3rd date tonight (met and went out both Saturday and Sunday), it was bizarre, I had been contemplating messaging this girl for a couple of weeks on Facebook but each time I went to do it, my friend stopped me with the line of 'don't message her randomly on Facebook, you'll come across as a creep'
Then last week, out of the blue she sent me a message, instantly hit it off and arranged to meet on Saturday for early afternoon drinks, ended up chatting til dinner time, went for dinner and arranged to meet again the next day, on which we went for a drive into the dales for late lunch and went to the Cinema in the evening, now looking forward to tonight.

[battered]

ClockworkCupcake said:

Vyse said:

She said that we can meet-up when she is back.

That's her being polite in saying that she isn't interested.

Yes indeed. In the unlikely event that she comes back in 6 months having met nobody of interest in the whole time, she may ring you if she's bored and it's a crap night on the telly. But that won't happen. Nothing to see here, move on.

[battered]

Marc p said:

So after finally accepting that I may never meet the one and getting to grips with the fact that I would rather stay alone than get with someone just for the sake of it...

Then last week, out of the blue she sent me a message, instantly hit it off and arranged to meet on Saturday... now looking forward to tonight.

That's the way it goes. It's a bit of a Zen thing, while you are dribbling over her like a hungry puppy she won't want to know. The minute you get on with your life and say "hey, my life's OK, I don't especially need anyone else in it, que sera sera" then you become more attractive because you are just being you. It's a difficult balance though between "not that bothered" and "not interested in women at all" which I have fallen foul of in the past. Yes, you have a great time climbing up mountains and riding bikes, but the women just assume that's all you want.

[johnwilliams77]

battered said:

That's the way it goes. It's a bit of a Zen thing, while you are dribbling over her like a hungry puppy she won't want to know. The minute you get on with your life and say "hey, my life's OK, I don't especially need anyone else in it, que sera sera" then you become more attractive because you are just being you. It's a difficult balance though between "not that bothered" and "not interested in women at all" which I have fallen foul of in the past. Yes, you have a great time climbing up mountains and riding bikes, but the women just assume that's all you want.

You've got work to do on your messaging then. You want to have a woman to use for fun instead of your hand. You don't want all the hassle of birthdays/Christmas/visiting relatives.

[Shnozz]

battered said:

Marc p said:

So after finally accepting that I may never meet the one and getting to grips with the fact that I would rather stay alone than get with someone just for the sake of it...

Then last week, out of the blue she sent me a message, instantly hit it off and arranged to meet on Saturday... now looking forward to tonight.

That's the way it goes. It's a bit of a Zen thing, while you are dribbling over her like a hungry puppy she won't want to know. The minute you get on with your life and say "hey, my life's OK, I don't especially need anyone else in it, que sera sera" then you become more attractive

And independence is also attractive.

And whilst it sounds encouraging so far, I would be careful not to smother or get too puppy eyed given you first met her Saturday, have seen her 3 times since and are posting on PH enthusiastically. Chill, Winston.

[Shnozz]

And that isn't supposed to sound negative in the PH doom and gloom manner of relationships - merely saying all things sound great but your nonchalance and lack of intense pursuit probably helped with the interest in you having piqued, and whilst its right to follow that up, I would alsways suggest a gentle approach rather than all guns blazing and putting aside 7 nights a week for the latest love interest.