Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
mikefacel said:
andy-xr said:
Yes, and after 6 months she got her bipolar diagnosis through which explained a lot.
Yep, I had exactly this behaviour with my ex, although BPD rather than bipolar. It only gets worse and not better, especially after they've nabbed you through marriage and especially kids, when they feel they can really let rip. They're always a good shag mind. Don't let your knob make long term decisions. no smoke without fire IMO.
Pebbles167 said:
For the first time in 5 years I have a steady girlfriend instead of a fling. Met on POF, going well after 3 months, kids get on well, she's pretty, intelligent and we genuinely get on really well
Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a t
t when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.
I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
Yep - dealt with this!Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a t
t when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
Very similar. If it's like this in first 6 months, trust me IT WILL GET WORSE. Mine deteriorated until I had to kick her out. Tried the only drink with friends/family and not round me route. Didn't work. Tried to put my ex into counselling for suspected bi polar but she lasted one session. I couldn't deal with it, puts you on edge every time she has a drink, she starts to read that and it's a vicious circle.
Good luck hope yours isn't as bad as mine was!!
mjb1 said:
A single mother with a 5 year old child is always going to have a fair amount of other priorities though, you've got to expect that when dating someone with young kids. I can't stand it when they bleat on about their kids on their dating profiles, making a point about how darling child will always come first - I'd fully expect them to put their kids first, the fact that they think they need to point it out is off putting in itself. You do sound like you'd be better off dating women who don't have young kids though, which is fair enough really - if you're not feeling paternal enough to have kids of your own, you're hardly likely to want to get involved heavily with someone else's.
Having said that, I'm in a similar position, dating a single mother of a 5 year old. As the dad has never really been around (sounds like a total and utter waste of space, but I am aware I'm only hearing one side of things), and the lady I'm seeing hasn't had another relationship since, the only situation the child knows is just the two of them as a family unit. Child is obviously used to being the centre of undivided attention, and it shows massively - she absolutely can't handle it when I'm around, has her mum wrapped around her little finger. And that's made more difficult by the fact that mum won't let the child out of her sight, they're together 24/7/365, so opportunity to see each other is rather strained, only time is evenings after daughter has gone to bed. And always at her house.
Don't get me wrong, I have kids of my own, but shared care between me and my ex, so I have child free time to do dating/socialising, general adult stuff. Yet, when my kids are in my care, of course they are my absolute priority. And maybe it's because I have more than one child, and I give them a bit more space/independence, so they are not anywhere near as clingy as the this lady's only child.
This relationship started as friends with benefits arrangement, she wanted more, but I've really tried to explain that I don't. I went along with it for a while, thinking maybe my feelings would warm more towards her, but they haven't, and now I feel like I'm trying to force something that isn't really there. We've been seeing each other on and off for about a year, and now I'm pretty sure that if my feelings were going to develop they would have by now. I've tried to end it a few times, and every time she restarts chatting again after a few weeks of radio silence. I keep interpreting that as wanting to be friends (which I'd be happy with), but then I realise she thinks we're trying to rekindle the relationship. I've tried every polite (and some less polite) excuses to end it, but she just blames all the issues in our relationship on my ex, and she thinks I need saving from my past. Yes, the ex has been a bit of a trouble causer/problem, but I see that as more a bit of trivial (and inevitable) baggage due to having kids together, rather than a fundamental problem to our relationship (which she seems oblivious to or in denial about).
Every time things go quiet between us (for 2 to 3 weeks) after an disagreement/falling out, I feel a bit of relief that it's over. But she just won't let go. I wouldn't say I'm treating her badly (she goes quiet on me, not like I just ignore her messages for weeks!), but I'd really expect a girl to get the message that it isn't working, especially after I've spelled it out several times. So I'm finding it very difficult to 'be cruel to be kind', I've tried so hard to be polite about it, and she just bounces back. If I have to reason it out in cold hard facts, I know she's going to be really hurt by it.
I guess a wider thought is - what do single parents want/expect from dating/new relationships? As a dad who has his kids half the week, I've got the other half free to socialise/date without the baggage on show. I do tend to compartmentalise my life quite a bit anyway- family, friends, hobbies, all usually kept quite separate with no real overlap. Am I being overly optimistic in hoping to meet someone I have things in common with (so who's likely to have kids of her own), and be able to get to know them in a mainly child free setting? I don't want to introduce a new lady to my kids unless the relationship is a bit established and has some mileage in it.
In all honesty, I'd be quite happy to keep that situation going for a good while - we each have our separate family lives, and fitted around that, time together to do things as a couple. But it feels like that's the opposite of what most single mothers want (unless their kids are teenage or older, and that generally makes those ladies a bit old for me, at late 30's myself), the advertise that they want a man to come into their lives and take on their kids with full commitment, and almost sound like they're expecting that from the outset. I'm quite happy to date someone and work around our kid's commitments, without either of us jumping into the step parent role. But maybe I'm being optimistic?
Are you me..?? Echoes pretty much my experiences. Not easy at times.Having said that, I'm in a similar position, dating a single mother of a 5 year old. As the dad has never really been around (sounds like a total and utter waste of space, but I am aware I'm only hearing one side of things), and the lady I'm seeing hasn't had another relationship since, the only situation the child knows is just the two of them as a family unit. Child is obviously used to being the centre of undivided attention, and it shows massively - she absolutely can't handle it when I'm around, has her mum wrapped around her little finger. And that's made more difficult by the fact that mum won't let the child out of her sight, they're together 24/7/365, so opportunity to see each other is rather strained, only time is evenings after daughter has gone to bed. And always at her house.
Don't get me wrong, I have kids of my own, but shared care between me and my ex, so I have child free time to do dating/socialising, general adult stuff. Yet, when my kids are in my care, of course they are my absolute priority. And maybe it's because I have more than one child, and I give them a bit more space/independence, so they are not anywhere near as clingy as the this lady's only child.
This relationship started as friends with benefits arrangement, she wanted more, but I've really tried to explain that I don't. I went along with it for a while, thinking maybe my feelings would warm more towards her, but they haven't, and now I feel like I'm trying to force something that isn't really there. We've been seeing each other on and off for about a year, and now I'm pretty sure that if my feelings were going to develop they would have by now. I've tried to end it a few times, and every time she restarts chatting again after a few weeks of radio silence. I keep interpreting that as wanting to be friends (which I'd be happy with), but then I realise she thinks we're trying to rekindle the relationship. I've tried every polite (and some less polite) excuses to end it, but she just blames all the issues in our relationship on my ex, and she thinks I need saving from my past. Yes, the ex has been a bit of a trouble causer/problem, but I see that as more a bit of trivial (and inevitable) baggage due to having kids together, rather than a fundamental problem to our relationship (which she seems oblivious to or in denial about).
Every time things go quiet between us (for 2 to 3 weeks) after an disagreement/falling out, I feel a bit of relief that it's over. But she just won't let go. I wouldn't say I'm treating her badly (she goes quiet on me, not like I just ignore her messages for weeks!), but I'd really expect a girl to get the message that it isn't working, especially after I've spelled it out several times. So I'm finding it very difficult to 'be cruel to be kind', I've tried so hard to be polite about it, and she just bounces back. If I have to reason it out in cold hard facts, I know she's going to be really hurt by it.
I guess a wider thought is - what do single parents want/expect from dating/new relationships? As a dad who has his kids half the week, I've got the other half free to socialise/date without the baggage on show. I do tend to compartmentalise my life quite a bit anyway- family, friends, hobbies, all usually kept quite separate with no real overlap. Am I being overly optimistic in hoping to meet someone I have things in common with (so who's likely to have kids of her own), and be able to get to know them in a mainly child free setting? I don't want to introduce a new lady to my kids unless the relationship is a bit established and has some mileage in it.
In all honesty, I'd be quite happy to keep that situation going for a good while - we each have our separate family lives, and fitted around that, time together to do things as a couple. But it feels like that's the opposite of what most single mothers want (unless their kids are teenage or older, and that generally makes those ladies a bit old for me, at late 30's myself), the advertise that they want a man to come into their lives and take on their kids with full commitment, and almost sound like they're expecting that from the outset. I'm quite happy to date someone and work around our kid's commitments, without either of us jumping into the step parent role. But maybe I'm being optimistic?
ShyTallKnight said:
mjb1 said:
A single mother with a 5 year old child is always going to have a fair amount of other priorities though, you've got to expect that when dating someone with young kids. I can't stand it when they bleat on about their kids on their dating profiles, making a point about how darling child will always come first - I'd fully expect them to put their kids first, the fact that they think they need to point it out is off putting in itself. You do sound like you'd be better off dating women who don't have young kids though, which is fair enough really - if you're not feeling paternal enough to have kids of your own, you're hardly likely to want to get involved heavily with someone else's.
Having said that, I'm in a similar position, dating a single mother of a 5 year old. As the dad has never really been around (sounds like a total and utter waste of space, but I am aware I'm only hearing one side of things), and the lady I'm seeing hasn't had another relationship since, the only situation the child knows is just the two of them as a family unit. Child is obviously used to being the centre of undivided attention, and it shows massively - she absolutely can't handle it when I'm around, has her mum wrapped around her little finger. And that's made more difficult by the fact that mum won't let the child out of her sight, they're together 24/7/365, so opportunity to see each other is rather strained, only time is evenings after daughter has gone to bed. And always at her house.
Don't get me wrong, I have kids of my own, but shared care between me and my ex, so I have child free time to do dating/socialising, general adult stuff. Yet, when my kids are in my care, of course they are my absolute priority. And maybe it's because I have more than one child, and I give them a bit more space/independence, so they are not anywhere near as clingy as the this lady's only child.
This relationship started as friends with benefits arrangement, she wanted more, but I've really tried to explain that I don't. I went along with it for a while, thinking maybe my feelings would warm more towards her, but they haven't, and now I feel like I'm trying to force something that isn't really there. We've been seeing each other on and off for about a year, and now I'm pretty sure that if my feelings were going to develop they would have by now. I've tried to end it a few times, and every time she restarts chatting again after a few weeks of radio silence. I keep interpreting that as wanting to be friends (which I'd be happy with), but then I realise she thinks we're trying to rekindle the relationship. I've tried every polite (and some less polite) excuses to end it, but she just blames all the issues in our relationship on my ex, and she thinks I need saving from my past. Yes, the ex has been a bit of a trouble causer/problem, but I see that as more a bit of trivial (and inevitable) baggage due to having kids together, rather than a fundamental problem to our relationship (which she seems oblivious to or in denial about).
Every time things go quiet between us (for 2 to 3 weeks) after an disagreement/falling out, I feel a bit of relief that it's over. But she just won't let go. I wouldn't say I'm treating her badly (she goes quiet on me, not like I just ignore her messages for weeks!), but I'd really expect a girl to get the message that it isn't working, especially after I've spelled it out several times. So I'm finding it very difficult to 'be cruel to be kind', I've tried so hard to be polite about it, and she just bounces back. If I have to reason it out in cold hard facts, I know she's going to be really hurt by it.
I guess a wider thought is - what do single parents want/expect from dating/new relationships? As a dad who has his kids half the week, I've got the other half free to socialise/date without the baggage on show. I do tend to compartmentalise my life quite a bit anyway- family, friends, hobbies, all usually kept quite separate with no real overlap. Am I being overly optimistic in hoping to meet someone I have things in common with (so who's likely to have kids of her own), and be able to get to know them in a mainly child free setting? I don't want to introduce a new lady to my kids unless the relationship is a bit established and has some mileage in it.
In all honesty, I'd be quite happy to keep that situation going for a good while - we each have our separate family lives, and fitted around that, time together to do things as a couple. But it feels like that's the opposite of what most single mothers want (unless their kids are teenage or older, and that generally makes those ladies a bit old for me, at late 30's myself), the advertise that they want a man to come into their lives and take on their kids with full commitment, and almost sound like they're expecting that from the outset. I'm quite happy to date someone and work around our kid's commitments, without either of us jumping into the step parent role. But maybe I'm being optimistic?
Are you me..?? Echoes pretty much my experiences. Not easy at times.Having said that, I'm in a similar position, dating a single mother of a 5 year old. As the dad has never really been around (sounds like a total and utter waste of space, but I am aware I'm only hearing one side of things), and the lady I'm seeing hasn't had another relationship since, the only situation the child knows is just the two of them as a family unit. Child is obviously used to being the centre of undivided attention, and it shows massively - she absolutely can't handle it when I'm around, has her mum wrapped around her little finger. And that's made more difficult by the fact that mum won't let the child out of her sight, they're together 24/7/365, so opportunity to see each other is rather strained, only time is evenings after daughter has gone to bed. And always at her house.
Don't get me wrong, I have kids of my own, but shared care between me and my ex, so I have child free time to do dating/socialising, general adult stuff. Yet, when my kids are in my care, of course they are my absolute priority. And maybe it's because I have more than one child, and I give them a bit more space/independence, so they are not anywhere near as clingy as the this lady's only child.
This relationship started as friends with benefits arrangement, she wanted more, but I've really tried to explain that I don't. I went along with it for a while, thinking maybe my feelings would warm more towards her, but they haven't, and now I feel like I'm trying to force something that isn't really there. We've been seeing each other on and off for about a year, and now I'm pretty sure that if my feelings were going to develop they would have by now. I've tried to end it a few times, and every time she restarts chatting again after a few weeks of radio silence. I keep interpreting that as wanting to be friends (which I'd be happy with), but then I realise she thinks we're trying to rekindle the relationship. I've tried every polite (and some less polite) excuses to end it, but she just blames all the issues in our relationship on my ex, and she thinks I need saving from my past. Yes, the ex has been a bit of a trouble causer/problem, but I see that as more a bit of trivial (and inevitable) baggage due to having kids together, rather than a fundamental problem to our relationship (which she seems oblivious to or in denial about).
Every time things go quiet between us (for 2 to 3 weeks) after an disagreement/falling out, I feel a bit of relief that it's over. But she just won't let go. I wouldn't say I'm treating her badly (she goes quiet on me, not like I just ignore her messages for weeks!), but I'd really expect a girl to get the message that it isn't working, especially after I've spelled it out several times. So I'm finding it very difficult to 'be cruel to be kind', I've tried so hard to be polite about it, and she just bounces back. If I have to reason it out in cold hard facts, I know she's going to be really hurt by it.
I guess a wider thought is - what do single parents want/expect from dating/new relationships? As a dad who has his kids half the week, I've got the other half free to socialise/date without the baggage on show. I do tend to compartmentalise my life quite a bit anyway- family, friends, hobbies, all usually kept quite separate with no real overlap. Am I being overly optimistic in hoping to meet someone I have things in common with (so who's likely to have kids of her own), and be able to get to know them in a mainly child free setting? I don't want to introduce a new lady to my kids unless the relationship is a bit established and has some mileage in it.
In all honesty, I'd be quite happy to keep that situation going for a good while - we each have our separate family lives, and fitted around that, time together to do things as a couple. But it feels like that's the opposite of what most single mothers want (unless their kids are teenage or older, and that generally makes those ladies a bit old for me, at late 30's myself), the advertise that they want a man to come into their lives and take on their kids with full commitment, and almost sound like they're expecting that from the outset. I'm quite happy to date someone and work around our kid's commitments, without either of us jumping into the step parent role. But maybe I'm being optimistic?
Girlfriend: No you're not.
OP: Ok.
Blown2CV said:
WTF - i'd prefer someone with their own teeth too, what a weird way to react! Presumably you don't have your own teeth.
What weird about it? I'm just calling double standards, that's all. I have all my visible teeth bar one and the dentist's ordered the scaffolding. Not as bad as my ex, who often refers to her 'front bottom teeth'.
alorotom said:
Lack of determination, lots of "grass greener" options ... when I started seeing my current Mrs there was a solid 35miles between where we lived - it's a 30-40min car journey or just over one hr on public transport (1bus and 1metro)
Unless of course you live in a massive singleton densely populated metropolis ...
Yeah Mrs. Dodo is, I guess, 20 miles away from me. Really doesn't feel far at all, just hop in the car and you're there!Unless of course you live in a massive singleton densely populated metropolis ...
Pebbles167 said:
For the first time in 5 years I have a steady girlfriend instead of a fling. Met on POF, going well after 3 months, kids get on well, she's pretty, intelligent and we genuinely get on really well
Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a tt when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.
I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a t
t when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
alorotom said:
Dedra as a Dodo said:
Seriously, is a 25 mile distance a dealbreaker nowadays?!?
Lack of determination, lots of "grass greener" options ... when I started seeing my current Mrs there was a solid 35miles between where we lived - it's a 30-40min car journey or just over one hr on public transport (1bus and 1metro) Unless of course you live in a massive singleton densely populated metropolis ...
To give a little hope to all you Match peeps. I met Sarah 3.5 years ago, after she winked me on Match. I initially rebuffed her, saying, 'you're lovely, just my type, but you're just too far away' (London her, me Notts) She persisted, and the rest as they say is history.
We got married last Thursday, I love this girl. See, Match can sometimes yield results !
We got married last Thursday, I love this girl. See, Match can sometimes yield results !
Pebbles167 said:
For the first time in 5 years I have a steady girlfriend instead of a fling. Met on POF, going well after 3 months, kids get on well, she's pretty, intelligent and we genuinely get on really well
Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a tt when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.
I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
In Vino VeritasBit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a t
t when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
Pebbles167 said:
For the first time in 5 years I have a steady girlfriend instead of a fling. Met on POF, going well after 3 months, kids get on well, she's pretty, intelligent and we genuinely get on really well
Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a tt when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.
I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
I think many of us have got tangled up with similar 'ladies', and whilst it's easy for us to all say "run for the hills", reality is that it's unlikely she will ever change. So either get used to living with it, or bail out before it really starts getting to you. Important thing to remember is that being drunk doesn't make people do stuff/behave in a way that they don't want to. The alcohol just reduces their inhibitions and gives them the confidence boost to do and say things that sobriety would hold them back from. I hate it when people try and balme their actions on alcohol, being drunk just lets the real person shine through, as the mask of sobriety has slipped.Bit of a drama queen (hard young life, depression, drugs, etc) and likes to go off on left wing rants a bit, but i can deal with that, since she's nice really.
Only problem is she turns into a t
t when she's drunk. Im fine drinking, occasionally I'm even up for a bit of dancing, but she just goes off and does whatever she wants to do, refuses to listen to what me or anyone else in the group wants to do, walks off, and then usually gets stty on the way home and starts a one way argument. (my ex wife was like this, and we never got over it) I'm pretty laid back these days and so i don't i dont let her draw me into it, mainly because I'm not even cross with her, I've usually had a good night and just want to go home and have sex! But she insists on being a pain. Usually about a load of bks too, other girls, my ex etc. Screams of insecurity.I do like her, but i've said Its getting annoying. She's apologetic when sober, but in future I'm just going to tell her to drink with her friends and not involve me. This early into a relationship I don't feel like she should be trying to cause trouble. I wouldn't do it to her.
Just thought I'd share that, in case anyone has dealt with similar?
The other thing I've come to realise, is that it's a bad idea to try and change someone to suit your ideals, or even to think that you might be able to. Either take them as they are and accept their 'flaws' or keep looking for someone else. Trying to mould them to the perfect partner is either going to fail or lead to resentment on one side or the other.
Nice one just shows you it does work. I know a few people that have met their wife on match. I'm 26 and just want to get a nice lady. One that likes housework is a bonus.
I had some disasters like running out of things to say and farting loudly in front of my date (that ended badly and she stormed out- this was our first date)..
I had some disasters like running out of things to say and farting loudly in front of my date (that ended badly and she stormed out- this was our first date)..
Edited by Shore on Thursday 24th August 08:34
Shore said:
Nice one just shows you it does work. I know a few people that have met their wife on match. I'm 26 and just want to get a nice lady. One that likes housework is a bonus.
I had some disasters like running out of things to say and farting loudly in front of my date (that ended badly and she stormed out- this was our first date)..
Shore, I guess the definition of a nice lady is subjective, but you know - there are certain things that some people find acceptable and funny, that others sometimes dont. And you have to consider whether what you bring to the table is equal to what they're bringing. I had some disasters like running out of things to say and farting loudly in front of my date (that ended badly and she stormed out- this was our first date)..
Edited by Shore on Thursday 24th August 08:34
andy-xr said:
Shore said:
Nice one just shows you it does work. I know a few people that have met their wife on match. I'm 26 and just want to get a nice lady. One that likes housework is a bonus.
I had some disasters like running out of things to say and farting loudly in front of my date (that ended badly and she stormed out- this was our first date)..
Shore, I guess the definition of a nice lady is subjective, but you know - there are certain things that some people find acceptable and funny, that others sometimes dont. And you have to consider whether what you bring to the table is equal to what they're bringing. I had some disasters like running out of things to say and farting loudly in front of my date (that ended badly and she stormed out- this was our first date)..
Edited by Shore on Thursday 24th August 08:34
But as said, some people (men and women) find certain things gross / unappealing.
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