Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Condi said:
Can I ask how someone knows they've found 'the one'?
I seem to be dating, and then running away from, some lovely women who would make fantastic wives, and inevitably regret it a few weeks/months later. Maybe im holding out for something which doesnt exist, although just as likely is being scared of commitment.
IMO it's something you only acknowledge in hindsight about former partners and even then I'd suggest they were just 'the one' for you at that specific time of your life. I seem to be dating, and then running away from, some lovely women who would make fantastic wives, and inevitably regret it a few weeks/months later. Maybe im holding out for something which doesnt exist, although just as likely is being scared of commitment.
People change over time – if you're lucky you might find someone whose own changes accommodate or compliment yours in which case they are 'the one' but paradoxically only because they have changed / matured along with you from the person you originally thought could be 'the one'.
I innocently asked the woman I'm seeing if she'd ever met the one before as part of a general conversation about past relationships and to my surprise she said not until now, meaning me. I openly laughed in her face which didn't go down well.
Being a cynic don't believe you can make the call that early into a relationship. She is late 30s, not kids, very attractive, never married and with a body to die for so part of me – a lot of me actually – thinks a) what on earth does she see in me and b) the mental isn't far away. I wouldn't say she was the one though. I never thought that about my former wife either.
SpeckledJim said:
There's nothing psychoactive in white wine except alcohol. And there's alcohol in everything. If she's gone berserk on white wine, it's because she's told herself that her behaviour is the fault of the wine, not herself.
It's an excuse, not a cause.
Like those girls who say "I always go crazy on vodka!". No love, it's just that you drink vodka when you're in the mood to go crazy.
Funny. My girlfriend and I had this exact conversation on Saturday. In response to her claim that she goes horribly angry on tequila, I said I didn't think there was any reason to go mad on any particular drink (other than some being stronger) and that none of the ingredients should promote the aggressive behaviour. I said I thought it was the preconceptions of the drink and the attitude prior to drinking that produced the anger. I was told I was wrong.. It's an excuse, not a cause.
Like those girls who say "I always go crazy on vodka!". No love, it's just that you drink vodka when you're in the mood to go crazy.
Still, she has admitted to being a pain when drunk and says she'll do it less. Also, I had a really bad few days recently and she was totally there for me and made me feel a lot better. She's a keeper, regardless of being a dick on nights out!
Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 5th September 15:53
james_tigerwoods said:
Shore said:
Tomorrow night I've got a date with a girl I've been speaking to over the last week. We have been texting each other quite a lot. We will see how this one goes. Hopefully it's a diasaster like the last one I had 3 weeks ago.
Really? 
i can't seem to log in tonight. Just as i was getting to know a lovely woman.
Had my first psycho from there thou she was a bit messed up. So after politely saying sorry this won't work and not hearing from her for a few weeks she turns up at my house wanting her Tesco Club card! It had falling out one evening and i had said id drop it off if I'm passing hers.
Had my first psycho from there thou she was a bit messed up. So after politely saying sorry this won't work and not hearing from her for a few weeks she turns up at my house wanting her Tesco Club card! It had falling out one evening and i had said id drop it off if I'm passing hers.
Charlie1986 said:
i can't seem to log in tonight. Just as i was getting to know a lovely woman.
Had my first psycho from there thou she was a bit messed up. So after politely saying sorry this won't work and not hearing from her for a few weeks she turns up at my house wanting her Tesco Club card! It had falling out one evening and i had said id drop it off if I'm passing hers.
That doesn't sound particularly psycho. If it's already been a couple of weeks, I imagine she thought you'd never get around to it and if she wanted it back she should come and get it herself. Had my first psycho from there thou she was a bit messed up. So after politely saying sorry this won't work and not hearing from her for a few weeks she turns up at my house wanting her Tesco Club card! It had falling out one evening and i had said id drop it off if I'm passing hers.
Not exactly Fatal Attraction.
Charlie1986 said:
i can't seem to log in tonight. Just as i was getting to know a lovely woman.
Had my first psycho from there thou she was a bit messed up. So after politely saying sorry this won't work and not hearing from her for a few weeks she turns up at my house wanting her Tesco Club card! It had falling out one evening and i had said id drop it off if I'm passing hers.
You should of got down on one knee and proposed to her after the first date. Either that or keep her in mind for when you do find someone so that you can easily cheat, Had my first psycho from there thou she was a bit messed up. So after politely saying sorry this won't work and not hearing from her for a few weeks she turns up at my house wanting her Tesco Club card! It had falling out one evening and i had said id drop it off if I'm passing hers.
davek_964 said:
That doesn't sound particularly psycho. If it's already been a couple of weeks, I imagine she thought you'd never get around to it and if she wanted it back she should come and get it herself.
Not exactly Fatal Attraction.
Bit awkward though just over a bloody clubcard.Not exactly Fatal Attraction.
First date since breaking up with my ex tonight. Met on Tinder. If I'm honest I didn't think it would happen. She cancelled on me about two weeks ago due to a family problem and went really quiet and isn't much of a talker, but will see how it goes.
Hopefully it wont end up with her s
tting on a window!
Hopefully it wont end up with her s
tting on a window!Ki3r said:
First date since breaking up with my ex tonight. Met on Tinder. If I'm honest I didn't think it would happen. She cancelled on me about two weeks ago due to a family problem and went really quiet and isn't much of a talker, but will see how it goes.
Hopefully it wont end up with her stting on a window!
Waste of time I'm afraid. Hopefully it wont end up with her s
tting on a window!Ki3r said:
Seemed to go well. Lots of talking, no awkwardness (that I noticed anyway). I'd like to see her again...just about to see if she wants to.
I've been with a few like that. They don't chat much and come out on one date only and then don't want to come out again. Get yourself back out there and don't make too much effort with this one.Shore said:
I've been with a few like that. They don't chat much and come out on one date only and then don't want to come out again. Get yourself back out there and don't make too much effort with this one.
Already sorting another date out with someone else. Learnt a long time ago not to waste time.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff