Match.com (Volume 6)

[Ki3r]

Yeah fair point...i do seem to find the odd ones...

[BuzzBravado]

Ki3r said:

.i also had someone introduce me to her son for the first time (he woke up when I was around) as 'your new daddy'.

That is the stuff of nightmares.

[Blown2CV]

BuzzBravado said:

Ki3r said:

.i also had someone introduce me to her son for the first time (he woke up when I was around) as 'your new daddy'.

That is the stuff of nightmares.

you could alway one-up the whole situation by agreeing to a first date only on the proviso that she introduces you first as their new Daddy. "if you've got a problem with that then don't bother" etc

[Cneci]

Well she's unmatched

Thanks for the advice though everyone!

[Shore]

Cneci said:

Well she's unmatched

Thanks for the advice though everyone!

How do you feel now that you's have unmatched ? It's a shame she lacked responsibility at a younger age and is stuck with a wee kiddie. I feel sorry for these girls.

[anonymous-user]

Shore said:

How do you feel now that you's have unmatched ? It's a shame she lacked responsibility at a younger age and is stuck with a wee kiddie. I feel sorry for these girls.

eh?

[Plate spinner]

Shore said:

It's a shame she lacked responsibility at a younger age and is stuck with a wee kiddie. I feel sorry for these girls.

Rubbish. She could be a widow for all we know.

[Cneci]

Shore said:

How do you feel now that you's have unmatched ? It's a shame she lacked responsibility at a younger age and is stuck with a wee kiddie. I feel sorry for these girls.

Ok really, onto the next one I guess.

To support tonker's comments, it's unfair to presume any details about her situation.

Edited by Cneci on Monday 25th September 12:37

[Echo66]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Ditto. What an appalling attitude. No wonder most of the 'company director' types are mostly single & w@nking themselves transparent while maligning every SWT they've ever spoken to.

If a woman has a kid (or two), give it at least a date or two. As someone said, no reason why she couldn't be the one.

[Shnozz]

Echo66 said:

If a woman has a kid (or two), give it at least a date or two. As someone said, no reason why she couldn't be the one.

Not sure its as simple as that. I avoided any women with kids simply as I know it was entirely out of sync with what I wanted from my lifestyle. Dating someone with kids would either have meant doing those things independently rather than sharing them, or giving them up. If I ever do give them up, it would be for my own kids.

[SpeckledJim]

BuzzBravado said:

Ki3r said:

.i also had someone introduce me to her son for the first time (he woke up when I was around) as 'your new daddy'.

That is the stuff of nightmares.

For the little lad?

[ChocolateFrog]

SpeckledJim said:

BuzzBravado said:

Ki3r said:

.i also had someone introduce me to her son for the first time (he woke up when I was around) as 'your new daddy'.

That is the stuff of nightmares.

For the little lad?

Both I'm sure, although arguably much worse for the child, poor bd.

In other news I'm off on my first internet date tomorrow for lunch, I'll let you all know how it goes.

[matrignano]

ChocolateFrog said:

Both I'm sure, although arguably much worse for the child, poor bd.

In other news I'm off on my first internet date tomorrow for lunch, I'll let you all know how it goes.

lunch dates are never good news... alcohol NEEDS to be involved !!

[moanthebairns]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

I nearly wrote something similar this morning but without the elegance as tonker.

I dip in and out of this for a laugh and tbh, some of the comments about going on a date with a lass with a child is frankly fking embarrassing.

Now I can understand if its a no for some, 100% get this I was like this when I was in my early 20's. But to actually ask advice on ph if you should or not go on such a simple thing as a date because she has a kid and it doesn't suit your lifestyle (something which will have been made clear at the start of chatting) then be bothered that she's just said no now is mental. No wonder she did.

If you don't want to date someone with kids, don't message someone with them. I can understand its not ideal for more than most, but there is also the chance you could enjoy being a "presence" with her family whilst not wanting to replace the father in anyway. Or know what you could end up enjoying each others company so much you change your stance on it and make sacrifices like any relationship.

I was speaking to a lass in pub at the weekend and whilst changing numbers she was continually and a bit shamefully asking if it bothered me that she had a kid, judging on some of the comments on this thread I now see why she might feel that way.

3 children to three different fathers before they're 30 gets alarm bells ringing, but for one child ffs just go on a date its a few hours out not asking for you to sign marriage papers.

[ChocolateFrog]

matrignano said:

ChocolateFrog said:

Both I'm sure, although arguably much worse for the child, poor bd.

In other news I'm off on my first internet date tomorrow for lunch, I'll let you all know how it goes.

lunch dates are never good news... alcohol NEEDS to be involved !!

We'll see. I'll be driving so drink would be out anyway.

[Saleen836]

moanthebairns said:

I nearly wrote something similar this morning but without the elegance as tonker.

I dip in and out of this for a laugh and tbh, some of the comments about going on a date with a lass with a child is frankly fking embarrassing.

Now I can understand if its a no for some, 100% get this I was like this when I was in my early 20's. But to actually ask advice on ph if you should or not go on such a simple thing as a date because she has a kid and it doesn't suit your lifestyle (something which will have been made clear at the start of chatting) then be bothered that she's just said no now is mental. No wonder she did.

If you don't want to date someone with kids, don't message someone with them. I can understand its not ideal for more than most, but there is also the chance you could enjoy being a "presence" with her family whilst not wanting to replace the father in anyway. Or know what you could end up enjoying each others company so much you change your stance on it and make sacrifices like any relationship.

I was speaking to a lass in pub at the weekend and whilst changing numbers she was continually and a bit shamefully asking if it bothered me that she had a kid, judging on some of the comments on this thread I now see why she might feel that way.

3 children to three different fathers before they're 30 gets alarm bells ringing, but for one child ffs just go on a date its a few hours out not asking for you to sign marriage papers.

Problem being a lot of the women don't put details on their profile stating they have a child/children, others do and also state that if them having a child/children is a problem then to swipe right. I agree though, judging someone because they have a child is a bit silly.

[Cneci]

Saleen836 said:

Problem being a lot of the women don't put details on their profile stating they have a child/children, others do and also state that if them having a child/children is a problem then to swipe right. I agree though, judging someone because they have a child is a bit silly.

I think I'll clear a few things up from my end:

1) I'm not judging her at all - My concerns relate to the practicalities of the situation, I never suggested she was irresponsible. But she doesn't have much free time (which is her words not mine), and lets be honest we're in different places in our respective lives. I wanted opinions on that matter, from people who have been in the same situation. And to be fair I had some reasonable responses. Some contributions have been awful, but this is the internet, where anonymity provides the platform for some nasty views. Now't I can do about that.

2) Saleen is correct - The match was on tinder and I didn't have any information to go on at the outset. The mention of the child came after sharing a fair few messages, and when I received the information I posted the question on here.

3) I'm not concerned that she unmatched, just showing a slight bit of disappointment that it went that way. C'est la vie.

4) There's an assumption here that I took the majority of the advice presented - particularly when I said the "consensus is to stay clear." I didn't actually do that. I told her I didn't mind. Subsequently our messages fizzled out and she/we unmatched.

[anonymous-user]

Cneci said:

I think I'll clear a few things up from my end:

1) I'm not judging her at all

I'd say most people where commenting on the post by Shore, rather than your posts.

[Cneci]

desolate said:

I'd say most people where commenting on the post by Shore, rather than your posts.

Hopefully, just want to paint a solid white line between Shore and myself!

[moanthebairns]

Cneci said:

desolate said:

I'd say most people where commenting on the post by Shore, rather than your posts.

Hopefully, just want to paint a solid white line between Shore and myself!

Fair enough, having never been on tinder I am not aware how it works.

However, i'd say stop fannying about in future, if you get on, go on a date, don't ask on ph, if you's get on great take it from there, if not, well then no loss is it.