Match.com (Volume 6)

[Council Baby]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

st, come to think of it last time we went out drinking I have a few blank hours, quite possible a) b) and c)

[CharlesdeGaulle]

WinstonWolf said:

Blown2CV said:

Council Baby said:

I’d probably give Olly one and I’m straight.

Also the wrong dress size tbh.

i had no idea this thread was a thin veneer over a weird circle jerk!!

This will blow your fking mind, some people actually know each other in the real world.

All those women not swiping on you? That's because they're busy telling Olly their vitals

The thread has got slightly weird.

[Blown2CV]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

WinstonWolf said:

Blown2CV said:

Council Baby said:

I’d probably give Olly one and I’m straight.

Also the wrong dress size tbh.

i had no idea this thread was a thin veneer over a weird circle jerk!!

This will blow your fking mind, some people actually know each other in the real world.

All those women not swiping on you? That's because they're busy telling Olly their vitals

The thread has got slightly weird.

glad i'm not the only one thinking that.

[Condi]

It must have got good, Council Baby has come out of retirement to comment.

[Thankyou4calling]

Blimey. All we need now is Council baby AKA Tucker Max to tell us what he’s been up to and it’ll be like 2014 !

I learnt most of my shenanigans from the legend that is.

Welcome CB.

[Council Baby]

Nothing worthy of this thread I’m afraid, took a stake in a tech start up, still doing that. Lots of work for little short term reward... the polar opposite of what I was doing when active on this thread

Living with a girl met on tinder 4 years ago, got a dog recently to delay the responsibility of children (obviously)!

Life is shockingly settled... apart from the odd night out with various reprobates, some of whom are still posting here.

[escargot]

fk me, it's like a boat party in here.

[Council Baby]

Is that where you drop the keys to your boat in a bowl and end up on the end of a PHer?

[Salmonofdoubt]

I was about to post something on topic but I think it would be unfair to derail whatever this is with a question.

[Condi]

Council Baby said:

Living with a girl met on tinder 4 years ago, got a dog recently to delay the responsibility of children (obviously)!

Buys about 18 months then the novelty wears off, and you've proven to her you can keep a living thing alive.

Then she'll forget the pill if you've not already agreed to kids yet.

[Lemming Train]

Condi said:

Council Baby said:

Living with a girl met on tinder 4 years ago, got a dog recently to delay the responsibility of children (obviously)!

Buys about 18 months then the novelty wears off, and you've proven to her you can keep a living thing alive.

Then she'll forget the pill if you've not already agreed to kids yet.

^ Yep. This guy knows.

[mjb1]

g3org3y said:

I think on another day with a touch of extra confidence you could have got a number (or at least asked straight out for it). Sounds like you had a bit of a laugh and handled the situation well without it being awkward (especially in front of a pub full of locals). The follow up message was worth a shot so fair play to you for trying.

What did you decide about the whole online dating thing btw? I remember you mentioned about knocking it on the head for a bit.

It was going pretty well in the pub with the chat and banter, then I got dragged off to a nightclub with them. Unfortunately, one of the locals invited himself along with us. He was already hammered and only interested in tagging along so he could carry on drinking (pub was closing). When we got in the nightclub I couldn't shake him off and he was seriously cramping my (already limited) style.

I came off tinder, that was getting me zero interest. Still on POF, and I realise I'll get nowhere unless I pretty well scattergun message every woman in my area and age range. But I'm putting that off until I can update my profile - both the words and photo's are not up to scratch. I've asked my occasional friend with benefits to help me take/chose some better photo's (female perspective on it etc), but she hasn't been very forthcoming about helping. It was her that convinced me to message the girl from Saturday night though - I'd never have done that without some encouragement. Although generally, I think her dating advice sucks - she is advising me as she would a female friend, and most of it is the complete opposite of what is supposed to work for blokes (what women actually want is completely different to what women say they want etc).

I've downloaded and listened to the audiobook of The Game, and some other similar stuff. Not going to try and emulate that at all, more pick up a bit of general guidance. I think it was subconsciously helping me a bit the other night - I was concentrating my conversation on the obviously butch lesbian of the all female group and that seemed to leave the fit, single, straight girls clamouring to get my attention (or maybe it was just coincidence).

Paddy_N_Murphy said:

I'd even play the messages along the lines of -

'thanks - totally helped', 'despite what thew pub thinks as I am never there with a girl, I'm not gay'...

I'd say if she was game for the role play on the night, Her friends have her back / seen you and you got a reply from a message away from that scene and crowd: home run and turn up the flirt on the messages and get stuck in !


Post Pics and we'll help you with the chat up lines and the 'winning phrases'.
No need to thank us.



(or if you want to blouse out.... pass her on, its the honourable thing)

Not going to be posting photos, sorry to disappoint.

That's the sort of general banter I've been messaging her with, with implied suggestions about catching up in again (my female friend said I should just straight out ask her out, but I thought it would be better to get the chat going a bit first without jumping straight to that). I don't want to come across as too keen/desperate/needy.

I've messaged her a couple more times since her initial reply, and she hasn't replied to any more of my messages. How many messages is it reasonable to send without getting responses? Could start looking like harassment, or just end up with her blocking me! My current thinking is to just wait it out a bit, few days at least.

I've noticed she's pretty active on POF (been online yesterday and today), so it's quite possible that she's now seen my profile on there and that has put her off in some way - I'm 10 years older and have kids (although I look younger than my age, so I've been told). She might well be looking for a perfect bloke her own age, and without the baggage of kids (not unreasonable, she can genuinely afford to be choosy). I think my best hope is that her friends give her a bit of a encouragement my way.

[Lemming Train]

mjb1 said:

I've messaged her a couple more times since her initial reply, and she hasn't replied to any more of my messages.

She isn't interested kid. Forget about her and move on with your life.

[g3org3y]

mjb1 said:

g3org3y said:

I think on another day with a touch of extra confidence you could have got a number (or at least asked straight out for it). Sounds like you had a bit of a laugh and handled the situation well without it being awkward (especially in front of a pub full of locals). The follow up message was worth a shot so fair play to you for trying.

What did you decide about the whole online dating thing btw? I remember you mentioned about knocking it on the head for a bit.

It was going pretty well in the pub with the chat and banter, then I got dragged off to a nightclub with them. Unfortunately, one of the locals invited himself along with us. He was already hammered and only interested in tagging along so he could carry on drinking (pub was closing). When we got in the nightclub I couldn't shake him off and he was seriously cramping my (already limited) style.

I came off tinder, that was getting me zero interest. Still on POF, and I realise I'll get nowhere unless I pretty well scattergun message every woman in my area and age range. But I'm putting that off until I can update my profile - both the words and photo's are not up to scratch. I've asked my occasional friend with benefits to help me take/chose some better photo's (female perspective on it etc), but she hasn't been very forthcoming about helping. It was her that convinced me to message the girl from Saturday night though - I'd never have done that without some encouragement. Although generally, I think her dating advice sucks - she is advising me as she would a female friend, and most of it is the complete opposite of what is supposed to work for blokes (what women actually want is completely different to what women say they want etc).

I've downloaded and listened to the audiobook of The Game, and some other similar stuff. Not going to try and emulate that at all, more pick up a bit of general guidance. I think it was subconsciously helping me a bit the other night - I was concentrating my conversation on the obviously butch lesbian of the all female group and that seemed to leave the fit, single, straight girls clamouring to get my attention (or maybe it was just coincidence).

Not going to be posting photos, sorry to disappoint.

That's the sort of general banter I've been messaging her with, with implied suggestions about catching up in again (my female friend said I should just straight out ask her out, but I thought it would be better to get the chat going a bit first without jumping straight to that). I don't want to come across as too keen/desperate/needy.

I've messaged her a couple more times since her initial reply, and she hasn't replied to any more of my messages. How many messages is it reasonable to send without getting responses? Could start looking like harassment, or just end up with her blocking me! My current thinking is to just wait it out a bit, few days at least.

I've noticed she's pretty active on POF (been online yesterday and today), so it's quite possible that she's now seen my profile on there and that has put her off in some way - I'm 10 years older and have kids (although I look younger than my age, so I've been told). She might well be looking for a perfect bloke her own age, and without the baggage of kids (not unreasonable, she can genuinely afford to be choosy). I think my best hope is that her friends give her a bit of a encouragement my way.

Credit for going to the nightclub, I'm sure a lot of others wouldn't have bothered. Shame to hear about drunk cock blocking local. While you were at the club, did you get much chance to interact/dance with the group of girls or were you having to 'look after' the drunk guy?

If you've sent a few messages and not got a response I'd leave it tbh. I agree that being 10 years older + kids is going to make you less appealing in the eyes of some women (especially younger choosy ones).

Colleague of mine is going through a marriage break up, she's mid 30s. Got 2 young kids. Did the whole online dating thing for about a year. Finally found someone (on Tinder), he's probably about 7 years older and has his own 4 kids from his previous marriage. They've really hit it off. They are coming from the same background (with regards to kids/divorce) and now looking for the same thing (stability + good home to raise their kids).

I agree with sorting your profile to the best possible standard before getting back in the online dating game.

[Salmonofdoubt]

Paddy_N_Murphy said:

Lemming Train said:

mjb1 said:

I've messaged her a couple more times since her initial reply, and she hasn't replied to any more of my messages.

She isn't interested kid. Forget about her and move on with your life.

Yup.

Crashed and Burned Mav, but tbh - you missed out some important stuff to us (age difference for example) and if the same to her- you’ve no chance.

Stop messaging now.

If I don’t get a reply to a message I leave it unless it’s someone I really like and had spoken to for a while, but after two I’ll never message again.

Age different seems to polarise women. Some see 10-15 years utterly fine, others think 5 years is way too much.

[mjb1]

g3org3y said:

Credit for going to the nightclub, I'm sure a lot of others wouldn't have bothered. Shame to hear about drunk cock blocking local. While you were at the club, did you get much chance to interact/dance with the group of girls or were you having to 'look after' the drunk guy?

If you've sent a few messages and not got a response I'd leave it tbh. I agree that being 10 years older + kids is going to make you less appealing in the eyes of some women (especially younger choosy ones).

Colleague of mine is going through a marriage break up, she's mid 30s. Got 2 young kids. Did the whole online dating thing for about a year. Finally found someone (on Tinder), he's probably about 7 years older and has his own 4 kids from his previous marriage. They've really hit it off. They are coming from the same background (with regards to kids/divorce) and now looking for the same thing (stability + good home to raise their kids).

I agree with sorting your profile to the best possible standard before getting back in the online dating game.

Yes, I got stuck looking after drunk bloke, and he seemed to want to get away from the girls asap and wander round drinking. The atmosphere in their group changed after we got to the nightclub too - one of them didn't really want to be there and

And I won't be messaging her further, without some kind of response. I only found out about the age difference from seeing her on POF, and that was after I'd messaged her. Surprised me, I'd have guessed she was a bit older than she is. I suppose it'd be bad form to start messaging one of the others from the group - her older, fitter, single friend! Reasonable chance that our paths will cross again at some point anyway.

If nothing else, distracted me from the friend with benefits situation for a bit. But does bring it home just how compatible we are - similar ages, situation (kids, home life etc), personalities, sexually, and we just get along incredibly well. If I had to list all the positives and negatives about her, on paper she doesn't seem like a good prospect at all. But being honest, if I did the same about myself, it'd probably be similar. Seems to be a greater than the sum of the parts thing, and there's certainly some chemistry there. The only sticking point appears to be that she can't get over her ex.

I do feel that I'm kind of at a cross roads here - I'd be equally happy getting together with a woman who already has kids of her own, as I would with someone who hasn't yet and wants to. Or maybe that's not realistic? But there do seem to be a lot of women round these parts who've got together with older (sometimes much older) men and started families, despite the man having kids with previous partners.

[JimmyConwayNW]

Do what makes you happy.

If you message enough girls sooner or later you end up with one that's a lot fitter than loads that turned you down along the way and you never know you might just hit it off.

[Fidgits]

escargot said:

fk me, it's like a boat party in here.

aint no party like a boat party

[anonymous-user]

Fidgits said:

escargot said:

fk me, it's like a boat party in here.

aint no party like a boat party

apart from when no turns up

[Fidgits]

Blown2CV said:

think i've solved the puzzle and the original question anyway. Women lap it up when hot guys are mean to them ('negging' to do the Game terminology I guess, which I am sure is a book well thumbed in the Olly household) - but it doesn't really work for most men. Nor would most men choose to be mean as a strategy anyway. I think most women tend to realise that they don't actually want the mean guy after a while anyway. It's like some kind of fantasy isn't it.

Actually no, its ingrained in the human nature to want what we can't have, its why countries invade other countries and people, regardless of how much they have, always want more.

What's interesting in my situation is I dated someone, 13 years my junior, for a while, but she wanted something more serious than i did, so i ended it... she then spent 3 years trying to win me back. She won, we got back together, and are now married. I wasn't mean, i wasn't negging, and she certainly doesn't regret it (well only when i roll out the Dad jokes).

Now it may have worked perfectly if i hadn't gone and had an interesting experience with an alcoholic in the meantime, but i'm quite sure her having to work for me made her appreciate her getting me. I'm sure this is the same with Olly, online dating women have men literally throwing themselves at them, regardless of anything, barraging with dick pics etc. A guy that actually isn't fawning all over them represents a challenge, something they need to work for, they appreciate it a lot more. But i'm guessing you are more of the former which may be why you can't understand it?