Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
I (like Scott below) have never read this thread before, but the other thread directed me here to see what it was all about!
Hello Scott
FWIW - fair play OP.
I personally would have never done the note, and would have just asked the question. I acknowledge the poster's stating re asking sober being scary, but I think is still better than a note. I also don't think the fact he is going to try again is stalkerish either. I wouldn't force it, and I wouldn't make it obvious by asking her out in the next few weeks, but if the opportunity presents to flirt, then so be it, see what happens.
Also - I once had a similar situation (admittedly was 19, and not 50!) with a supermarket girl. I spent weeks being sober plucking up the courage to ask her out, and one night whilst buying a lottery ticket, I asked her out. She said no. I don't remember what happened afterwards, but over 23 years later I am definitely over it!
Again - OP - you have done nothing wrong other than misread the signals.
Hello Scott
sc0tt said:
New to this thread.
You went back in to check the bin location?
When I read in the other thread about bins, I had assumed it was a note that was left, and through embarrassment the OP was going through the bins out the back, to look for the note he had left to try and recover it. Pleasantly surprised to see what really happened, and he was just seeing if she had binned or pocketed..You went back in to check the bin location?
FWIW - fair play OP.
I personally would have never done the note, and would have just asked the question. I acknowledge the poster's stating re asking sober being scary, but I think is still better than a note. I also don't think the fact he is going to try again is stalkerish either. I wouldn't force it, and I wouldn't make it obvious by asking her out in the next few weeks, but if the opportunity presents to flirt, then so be it, see what happens.
Also - I once had a similar situation (admittedly was 19, and not 50!) with a supermarket girl. I spent weeks being sober plucking up the courage to ask her out, and one night whilst buying a lottery ticket, I asked her out. She said no. I don't remember what happened afterwards, but over 23 years later I am definitely over it!
Again - OP - you have done nothing wrong other than misread the signals.
Fats25 said:
I also don't think the fact he is going to try again is stalkerish either. I wouldn't force it, and I wouldn't make it obvious by asking her out in the next few weeks, but if the opportunity presents to flirt, then so be it, see what happens.
I agree, fair play to him for trying. However, by his own admission he said she looked really awkward when he saw her again, that won’t go away by asking her out/for a face to face chat in a couple of weeks. It’s unfair on her, it’s her place of work, she shouldn’t be made to feel like that.
IMO he must leave her alone/alive now.
Spoon Burner said:
I agree, fair play to him for trying. However, by his own admission he said she looked really awkward when he saw her again, that won’t go away by asking her out/for a face to face chat in a couple of weeks.
I think it depends on if awkward = scared, or awkward = shy/embarrassed.If the former then leave alone.
If the latter, then just "play it cool trigger". Don't go in more often than needed, don't head for her till every time, don't ask her for a date, but do carry on being nice, and friendly, and see what happens.
I sound like a serial "chatter upperer" of girls in supermarket/shops, but there was a girl a long time ago that worked in a post office (not the closest to me either), who I felt butterflies for before I had spoke to her. I used to pop in to buy my lottery ticket, and had a bit of a flirt with her over a few weeks (this was after I had been unceremoniously declined in Tesco by the other girl above!). I knew to play it a bit cooler, and my confidence would't let me ask her out and get turned down twice by girls I didn't know.
A few weeks later I got chatting to her in the local crap nightclub, on the first time she had ever been there. I found out she had a boyfriend, who I vaguely knew, but there was a spark there. I continued to purchase my lottery tickets from this far away (at least a mile from home!) post office. One day I went in for my tickets, and she asked me if I was ever going to buy her a drink. I reminded her I knew her boyfriend, and she said that was now over.
We ended up living together for 10 years.............
bobtail4x4 said:
HairyMaclary said:
JustALooseScrew where will you be doing your shopping now?
Home delivery eh?
some of the home delivery drivers are young ish women.Home delivery eh?
and they are flirty.
interstellar said:
I have had Tesco’s deliver every week for 5 years and it’s always been a male delivery driver, only just realised. Shame.
I'll wear a short skirt for you next time I very nearly asked a customer out when I delivered her shopping. Until I t
tted my head on her door frame...after she warned me about it and I had a golf ball bump. Moment went ha. interstellar said:
Chrismawa said:
guy_spyder550 said:
A question hopefully some can answer
Currently I'm using POF, but considering joining Match. Are any folk here currently on both sites ?
Not sure at what point Match relieve you of your money in the process of joining, but don't want to join Match and find it's the same faces I could message for nothing on POF.
Have met 2 ex's on Dating Direct and then POF in the past, and there was a certain amount of faces on both.
I've just joined Match. There are no fake profiles, there are different people on there and its actually a much more serious set up. Yeah its a bit expensive but worth a try for a month.Currently I'm using POF, but considering joining Match. Are any folk here currently on both sites ?
Not sure at what point Match relieve you of your money in the process of joining, but don't want to join Match and find it's the same faces I could message for nothing on POF.
Have met 2 ex's on Dating Direct and then POF in the past, and there was a certain amount of faces on both.
You can sign up and browse for free. You only need to subscribe to interect. So get yourself an account and have a look.
Tinder was ok but my current squeeze I found on match.com. I went on three dates and the third one was great, been together 5 months.
Question off the back of the replies.
Are you able to see who's a subscriber on Match?
I assume if you message someone they need to be a subscriber to reply ?
Asking that as when I met one ex via DatingDirect years back they had a interesting trick of sending you send you a " XXXX has read your message " when in fact they hadn't read it.
I my case I emailed Sara whom I was to date, and got a message after a day or to say " Sara has read your message "
Found out via Sara that she wasn't a subscriber at the point I got that reply, and as she wasn't a subscriber she got a "Too read this message you need to subscribe" which she did about a week or so later.
So it seems DatingDirect sent me a " Sara has read your message " when in fact she couldn't of.
Edited by anonymous-user on Sunday 6th January 19:33
bobtail4x4 said:
HairyMaclary said:
JustALooseScrew where will you be doing your shopping now?
Home delivery eh?
some of the home delivery drivers are young ish women.Home delivery eh?
and they are flirty.
Justaloosescrew is probably gone from this thread forever, but I just wanted to say that it was a great read.
Echoing others here, good on you for having the balls to ask her out (ok it was a note but still).
Definitely don't ask her out ever again. Nothing positive can come of it, only negative.
Two things I wouldn't do again. Speaking to the colleague about her just can't have been a good move. There is no doubt it would have caused lots of chin wagging amongst staff and if it had got back to her, which it must have, it just would automatically make her feel embarrassed with others knowing etc.
Secondly, confronting her about 'needing to know'. I wouldn't have done that either.
Anyway, best of luck for next time. (Try Waitrose).
Echoing others here, good on you for having the balls to ask her out (ok it was a note but still).
Definitely don't ask her out ever again. Nothing positive can come of it, only negative.
Two things I wouldn't do again. Speaking to the colleague about her just can't have been a good move. There is no doubt it would have caused lots of chin wagging amongst staff and if it had got back to her, which it must have, it just would automatically make her feel embarrassed with others knowing etc.
Secondly, confronting her about 'needing to know'. I wouldn't have done that either.
Anyway, best of luck for next time. (Try Waitrose).
CAPP0 said:
Chicago's, or that desperate dive that used to be along the pedestrianised bit? (Either I can't remember the name, or have psychologically blocked it!)
btw!
I think Chicagos was Maidstone. This was The Avenue in Medway.............. btw! How you doing?
A bit worried that I am saying hello to people on the match thread, and I believe none are single! Thanks again to the Supermarket Spotter for directing to this thread. I may become an occasional lurker here going forward.JustALooseScrew in the other thread before he had it locked said:
This thread has provided little more than abuse.
That's simply not the case.Myself and others have provided what I believe to be sensible advice. Don't shoot the messengers because you don't like the advice.
Unfortunately you seem to have an alternate view of reality. You really can't see things as they are can you? Both in your reaction this thread, or in your "reconnaissance" and other behaviour.
I'm fast running out of sympathy for you.
I won't comment further.
I was kinda gutted it didn't work out for him...
We've all been knocked back, dumped, or rejected...
Then I saw the "ill give it a couple of weeks and see if we can go for a chat" comment and the starting of another thread for advice on how to get over such heartbreak and I have now no sympathy for the repercussions of any further stalker like behaviour from JASL.
I must admit, it was a great read through and whilst neither of the threads were in any way abusive towards him, they were light hearted comments offering, in my opinion, great advice!
We've all been knocked back, dumped, or rejected...
Then I saw the "ill give it a couple of weeks and see if we can go for a chat" comment and the starting of another thread for advice on how to get over such heartbreak and I have now no sympathy for the repercussions of any further stalker like behaviour from JASL.
I must admit, it was a great read through and whilst neither of the threads were in any way abusive towards him, they were light hearted comments offering, in my opinion, great advice!
Without bringing the arguments here, JASL hasn’t done anything many of us wouldn’t have done, he’s been misinterpreted by those that want to make it into something it isn’t to turn a routine situation into some scare mongered overblown story. If he needs ‘professional help’ then so do most posters on this thread.
So let’s move on and wish him luck with however it pans out.
So let’s move on and wish him luck with however it pans out.
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