Match.com (Volume 6)

Author
Discussion

Bluesgirl

278 posts

30 months

Tuesday 12th March
quotequote all
Well, so far it hasn't been practicable for us to move in together, but he stays at mine one night during the week and every weekend. It works well that way as my kids are independent now, so we have the place to ourselves, more or less. My youngest will be off to uni in September, so then I'll start thinking more seriously about moving.

Also, I'm very independent and was on my own as a single mum for a very long time, so it's taken a lot of getting used to being a couple, not having to do everything single-handedly and having someone else around the house with me too. I'd become a bit of a control freak, but I think it's all getting much easier now.

ETA I do believe that if you find the right person and you both want to make it work, you'll find a way. Whereas, if you don't even look, or you put too many restrictions on what you're looking for, you're limiting your chances. Imagine all the people that could be just beyond that arbitrary boundary you've chosen. They aren't all going to be tied to kids' schools, jobs that can't move etc.

Edited by Bluesgirl on Tuesday 12th March 15:19

speedyguy

3,917 posts

142 months

Tuesday 12th March
quotequote all
V8covin said:
Match has been the worst site ever for me.
In the 1st week I had a few matches and 2 dates off it, hardly a sniff since.That was back in October.I won't be renewing my 6 month membership
Don't worry they'll probably Autorenew it for you thumbup it's a big thing they like to do smile

feef

4,154 posts

122 months

Tuesday 12th March
quotequote all
speedyguy said:
V8covin said:
Match has been the worst site ever for me.
In the 1st week I had a few matches and 2 dates off it, hardly a sniff since.That was back in October.I won't be renewing my 6 month membership
Don't worry they'll probably Autorenew it for you thumbup it's a big thing they like to do smile
I've just set a reminder on my phone to cancel my subscription to match, as it can only be done 48 hrs before and 24hrs after :/


Bluesgirl

278 posts

30 months

Tuesday 12th March
quotequote all
If you cancel your direct debit anyway, what can they do about it?

CharlesdeGaulle

10,002 posts

119 months

Tuesday 12th March
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Flibble said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
Bulgarian. Middle-aged. Divorced. On the scale: (1) could be a laugh/what could possibly go wrong, to (10) about to have your organs harvested. Where?
I'll have a 9 please Bob.
In the interest of thread disclosure, it's only fair to mention that although I shared your anticipation of a higher number, the reality was closer to a 5 based on the time it takes to consume one drink.

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V8covin

1,986 posts

132 months

Tuesday 12th March
quotequote all
feef said:
I've just set a reminder on my phone to cancel my subscription to match, as it can only be done 48 hrs before and 24hrs after :/
No later than 48 hours before it says on my email confirmation

Flibble

4,579 posts

120 months

Wednesday 13th March
quotequote all
CharlesdeGaulle said:
Flibble said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
Bulgarian. Middle-aged. Divorced. On the scale: (1) could be a laugh/what could possibly go wrong, to (10) about to have your organs harvested. Where?
I'll have a 9 please Bob.
In the interest of thread disclosure, it's only fair to mention that although I shared your anticipation of a higher number, the reality was closer to a 5 based on the time it takes to consume one drink.
That's pretty quick for a 5. Normally they can conceal the mental for a bit longer than that.

CharlesdeGaulle

10,002 posts

119 months

Wednesday 13th March
quotequote all
Flibble said:
That's pretty quick for a 5. Normally they can conceal the mental for a bit longer than that.
I was seeing it through the lens of 5 being normal to be honest, especially for an eastern European. However, I'm rusty, really rusty, so perhaps I've made judgement too hastily.

feef

4,154 posts

122 months

Wednesday 13th March
quotequote all
Bluesgirl said:
If you cancel your direct debit anyway, what can they do about it?
I foolishly used a creditcard.

Bluesgirl

278 posts

30 months

Wednesday 13th March
quotequote all
Extract from MoneySavingExpert website:

"Ask your bank or credit card provider to cancel it

The Financial Conduct Authority has stated banks MUST cancel a continuous payment authority when asked. It also added that if further payments are taken in error after a customer asks for a cancellation, the bank must refund them."

This will stop the payment, but you must also cancel the contract you have with them ie within the stated timescale.

Blown2CV

21,712 posts

142 months

Wednesday 13th March
quotequote all
Bluesgirl said:
Extract from MoneySavingExpert website:

"Ask your bank or credit card provider to cancel it

The Financial Conduct Authority has stated banks MUST cancel a continuous payment authority when asked. It also added that if further payments are taken in error after a customer asks for a cancellation, the bank must refund them."

This will stop the payment, but you must also cancel the contract you have with them ie within the stated timescale.
except where you have committed to a contract and the payment you are cancelling is due according to that. Then all you are doing is not paying a bill you owe.

shirt

18,760 posts

140 months

Wednesday 13th March
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CharlesdeGaulle said:
I was seeing it through the lens of 5 being normal to be honest, especially for an eastern European.
agreed. Less than 5 is boring.

PAUL500

1,511 posts

185 months

Wednesday 13th March
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With match, as soon as you subscribe you can then go into your account details online and cancel the auto renew straight away. I do that every time otherwise I forget.

Then wait for a day or so after the paid period has expired and they will email you a £5 for a month deal, rinse and repeat :-) don't fall for their half price offer a day or two before the expiry period.

As said though, match has gone the way of pof, when I first tried net dating it was where the sensible people went, had many a great date, now its just full of window shoppers.

poing

8,362 posts

139 months

Wednesday 13th March
quotequote all
feef said:
That's what's stopped me subbing to tinder or bumble premium stuff, I've got my location requirements and I've swiped enough that I have no-one left in my area, so anyone that's swiped right on me is going to be too far away (and I've already got my distance limits set further than I would normally travel)
I think the lack of choice is just the way it is for those us that live a bit rural. It's another reason not to waste money on paid sites unless you live somewhere with a lot of people. I'm pretty sure Tinder has the same 100 women on a rolling rota over about a month.

Vyse

1,125 posts

63 months

Friday 15th March
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When using these online dating sites, is it typically always the guys that initiate? Do girls ever make contact with the guy or is this rare?

Blown2CV

21,712 posts

142 months

Friday 15th March
quotequote all
Vyse said:
When using these online dating sites, is it typically always the guys that initiate? Do girls ever make contact with the guy or is this rare?
if you are attractive and interesting sounding enough then women do make the first move.

technodup

5,121 posts

69 months

Friday 15th March
quotequote all
Vyse said:
When using these online dating sites, is it typically always the guys that initiate? Do girls ever make contact with the guy or is this rare?
Bumble forces women to message first, although there is a way to sort of get round it.

Blown2CV

21,712 posts

142 months

Friday 15th March
quotequote all
technodup said:
Vyse said:
When using these online dating sites, is it typically always the guys that initiate? Do girls ever make contact with the guy or is this rare?
Bumble forces women to message first, although there is a way to sort of get round it.
register as a woman and become gay?

Joey Deacon

1,437 posts

115 months

Friday 15th March
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
if you are attractive and interesting sounding enough then women do make the first move.
When I used POF and Tinder about five years ago I found I had most success with the women who messaged me first. If I messaged a woman first the majority would not reply, and if they did it would only be for a few messages.

I had most success where I got flirty soon after we started chatting. I used to do this because I used to get bored of small talk quickly, but a larger percentage of women than you would think are filth and will quickly reciprocate.

If they didn't then I would soon get bored and move on. I quickly learned that dates with women who didn't send filthy messages before you met them were always boring and a waste of time.

Oh and virtually every woman wants to know how tall you are before they will meet you. If I was chatting to someone on Tinder and it was going really well and they asked me how tall I was I would say 5ft 6. You could literally hear them thinking up an excuse not to meet before I replied "only joking, I am 6ft" to which you would get the standard "phew, I like to wear heels" nonsence.

Dress well, most women I met who would tell me that guys turned up in trainers and it was an instant put off. I used to always wear smart fitted jeans, nice fitted casual shirt and brown leather shoes and it was clear from their reaction that most men have no idea.

I am a 7/10 non alpha type and I found it was like shooting fish in a barrel. I was 40 at the time and looked young for my age and my realisation was "lots of competition, but very little of it serious"

However, I would say don't waste your time on the hottest women unless you are a 9/10 minimum alpha as you will get nowhere.





technodup

5,121 posts

69 months

Friday 15th March
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
register as a woman and become gay?
Use the 24hr extend thing. It notifies them you are interested beyond just a quick (or accidental) swipe, and can help instigate an initial message.

Joey Deacon said:
I had most success where I got flirty soon after we started chatting. I used to do this because I used to get bored of small talk quickly, but a larger percentage of women than you would think are filth and will quickly reciprocate.
Lemming Train will be along any second to tell you you're talking ste. hehe