Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Greenmantle said:
maybe she’s a top lurker on PH and wanted revenge for your attitude to dating.
If so she's failed miserably. If anything it's confirmed my belief the whole thing should be treated as a game, keep several irons in the fire and above all, stay as close to home as possible 
EL11SEG said:
Genuine question Gretchen, in the dating world do you find some men are intimidated by your interests? I've been told to 'dumb down' my interest in cars/bikes etc. Not an easy thing to do and really why should I.
I think they’re intimidated by me full stop 
The ones it attracts have either been young, in to the modified scene (not my thing) or old (and boring) The good ones tend to become mates. I met a long term ex here so common interests. Some amusing dates include one self-claimed petrolhead who argued and laughed at me when I said I owned an M3 Evo. He claimed there was no way as one was a BMW and one a Mitsubishi. Oh how a laughed. And left.
Do not dumb down your interests. That’s as bad as posting stock photos. It’s you. Be you. And find someone who loves you for just that.
If I ever get a date, this is my biggest fear. Not much can be done though am afraid.
technodup said:
It'll probably amuse some here that my luck ran out last night, to the point where I was ghosted in person. 
Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
technodup said:
It'll probably amuse some here that my luck ran out last night, to the point where I was ghosted in person.
Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
You should still be able to text her a selfie of you and your next date Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
technodup said:
It'll probably amuse some here that my luck ran out last night, to the point where I was ghosted in person.
...
As you say, if you had met her before then not your face....
Did you say something to offend her that you may not have realised? As that is what it is pointing to.
Or she wasn't single and husband found out!
Vyse said:
Whats the max distance people are willing to travel to meet someone? I may have set my distance too far and so some of my matches are pointless even if the girl is hawt!
Used to be 8/10 miles. Moved to the middle of nowhere.... and now while my Tinder setting is maybe 25 miles, I find that girls who live in towns won't (understandably) be interested in someone who lives 40 mins drive away when they have lots of men also living in town who are at worst a 15 min bus or taxi ride away.
Also makes going for drinks difficult unless you have a rather caviller attitude to drink driving or can ensure said lady has a bed for you ahead of time.
Meh, time to move back to a city methinks
. technodup said:
It'll probably amuse some here that my luck ran out last night, to the point where I was ghosted in person.
Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
That's a really sWas at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
tty thing to do to someone.hyphen said:
Did you say something to offend her that you may not have realised? As that is what it is pointing to.
Or she wasn't single and husband found out!
I wondered that but she was there for all of 20mins and spent 5 of that in the toilet. She wasn't a shrinking violet, so if I had offended her I'd expect her to come right back at me, but we hadn't got much past our week at work etc so I'm struggling to see it.Or she wasn't single and husband found out!
I'm tending towards the second option tbh, or something similar anyway. I know she wasn't single for a long time, and she and her ex used to stay above the pub we were in for lunch, and drank in one of the others in the immediate area. Possible she was trying to noise him up somehow, maybe proving to him (or herself) that she could still pull or whatever. She was a personal trainer and pretty hot for 43 so there shouldn't have been any doubt but I know some guys play games like that. Who knows.
If nothing else it's another story to add to my online dating repertoire. I could do it like Friends episodes, in order...
The one where she pissed on the pavement.
The one who was relatively normal.
The one where we got caught by the Police.
The one where she asked for bum fun.
The one where she disappeared.
Never a dull moment.
Decided to try and go the traditional route and went out in Brighton and actually go to a few bars.
Met one hippy type lass who initially seemed quite cool and flirty. Got on really well with both her mates to the extent they entrusted her with me and we went off to a few bars. The whole thing was push, pull, with her getting more drunk and weirder as things got later.
After we parted company a very attractive black lass appeared to come onto me - though she was even weirder and called me a xenophobe out of nowhere because I was white
Nothing in the conversation prompted this and reckon she was just looking to play games.
Ended up meeting some mates and having a good night though happened to bump into her again a couple of hours later in the smoking area. She was rather upset as it turned out she had been on a date and they guy had nicked / run off with her phone. I failed to stifle a laugh.
Walked back a bit of the way home with her and it got even more ridiculous. She had ended up in rehab in 2011 and apparently that night she had managed to get high for the first time since.
I usually regret posting drunken rants on here after a night out but meh - my current view is that they are as crazy IRL as online.
will keep plugging away and will update when the next super weird thing happens,
Met one hippy type lass who initially seemed quite cool and flirty. Got on really well with both her mates to the extent they entrusted her with me and we went off to a few bars. The whole thing was push, pull, with her getting more drunk and weirder as things got later.
After we parted company a very attractive black lass appeared to come onto me - though she was even weirder and called me a xenophobe out of nowhere because I was white
Nothing in the conversation prompted this and reckon she was just looking to play games.
Ended up meeting some mates and having a good night though happened to bump into her again a couple of hours later in the smoking area. She was rather upset as it turned out she had been on a date and they guy had nicked / run off with her phone. I failed to stifle a laugh.
Walked back a bit of the way home with her and it got even more ridiculous. She had ended up in rehab in 2011 and apparently that night she had managed to get high for the first time since.
I usually regret posting drunken rants on here after a night out but meh - my current view is that they are as crazy IRL as online.
will keep plugging away and will update when the next super weird thing happens,
Had my date last night.
Went well - she looked great, and conversation followed very easily. I enjoyed the evening, which is a big positive because I had a crap day - car broke down and is making 'I need a new engine' noises which is very very bad. So I wasn't feeling all that cheery by the evening, but still enjoyed myself.
Second date is in a few days time.
Went well - she looked great, and conversation followed very easily. I enjoyed the evening, which is a big positive because I had a crap day - car broke down and is making 'I need a new engine' noises which is very very bad. So I wasn't feeling all that cheery by the evening, but still enjoyed myself.
Second date is in a few days time.
technodup said:
It'll probably amuse some here that my luck ran out last night, to the point where I was ghosted in person.
Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
As soon as she mentioned her son you should have told her that she should have kept her legs closed and stormed off. Was at the bar at 7 with a drink ready for her, she rolls in at 5 past, all good. She buys the next round and before she'd drunk any of it got a message, supposedly from her son. She went out to phone him, and never came back. As she was taking a while I checked my phone and saw she'd blocked me on Whatsapp, so I finished both our drinks and left.
Utterly inexplicable. I'd met her for lunch earlier in the week so it couldn't have been a case of my face not matching my pics. We'd only had one drink so hadn't the chance to do or say anything outrageous. The night, location and time was all her idea.
I can only assume she had a better offer. I did quite like her (to that point anyway!) so I wondered if there was an real emergency and she was embarrassed at having to leave, hence the block but I think that's giving too much benefit of the doubt.
Fortunately I was only 3mins from my front door and I have a previous one lined up for Monday but I must admit it rankles that there was nothing by way of explanation. Even a text saying it's not happening, you're a prick or whatever before the block would have been something.
technodup said:
CountZero23 said:
I usually regret posting drunken rants on here after a night out but meh - my current view is that they are as crazy IRL as online.
You realise it's the same women?If they're out they're out, if they're not out they're on Tinder.
Been a struggle trying to get a date this last week and a half. A number of good chats - easy going - no alarm bells but nothing to show for it. Just recently seen an unusual high number of profiles where the location is the City of London - single picture - very little description. Don’t understand the angle to these obviously fake profiles.
I activated my old profile on POF yesterday and had a couple of chats - one I wasn't really interested, but one will almost certainly result in a date if I want it to. Problem is, she's in Central London which doesn't really appeal that much. On the other hand, she has no kids (big plus for me) and is an attractive Brazilian girl who I enjoyed chatting to.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
davek_964 said:
I activated my old profile on POF yesterday and had a couple of chats - one I wasn't really interested, but one will almost certainly result in a date if I want it to. Problem is, she's in Central London which doesn't really appeal that much. On the other hand, she has no kids (big plus for me) and is an attractive Brazilian girl who I enjoyed chatting to.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
How did your second date go with the last lady as posted above?I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
davek_964 said:
I activated my old profile on POF yesterday and had a couple of chats - one I wasn't really interested, but one will almost certainly result in a date if I want it to. Problem is, she's in Central London which doesn't really appeal that much. On the other hand, she has no kids (big plus for me) and is an attractive Brazilian girl who I enjoyed chatting to.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
well if you don't want to even go on a date with someone because you are already thinking you don't want a relationship then are you just doing it to pass the time? Maybe you already have one - work on the car. Brazilian women can get a bit attached quite quickly i believe. I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
Blown2CV said:
davek_964 said:
I activated my old profile on POF yesterday and had a couple of chats - one I wasn't really interested, but one will almost certainly result in a date if I want it to. Problem is, she's in Central London which doesn't really appeal that much. On the other hand, she has no kids (big plus for me) and is an attractive Brazilian girl who I enjoyed chatting to.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
well if you don't want to even go on a date with someone because you are already thinking you don't want a relationship then are you just doing it to pass the time? Maybe you already have one - work on the car. Brazilian women can get a bit attached quite quickly i believe. I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
hyphen said:
Blown2CV said:
davek_964 said:
I activated my old profile on POF yesterday and had a couple of chats - one I wasn't really interested, but one will almost certainly result in a date if I want it to. Problem is, she's in Central London which doesn't really appeal that much. On the other hand, she has no kids (big plus for me) and is an attractive Brazilian girl who I enjoyed chatting to.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
well if you don't want to even go on a date with someone because you are already thinking you don't want a relationship then are you just doing it to pass the time? Maybe you already have one - work on the car. Brazilian women can get a bit attached quite quickly i believe. I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.
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