Match.com (Volume 6)

[davek_964]

Monkeylegend said:

davek_964 said:

I activated my old profile on POF yesterday and had a couple of chats - one I wasn't really interested, but one will almost certainly result in a date if I want it to. Problem is, she's in Central London which doesn't really appeal that much. On the other hand, she has no kids (big plus for me) and is an attractive Brazilian girl who I enjoyed chatting to.
I'm not sure I am really looking for the live-happily-ever-after thing at the moment - I'm a tad distracted by car problems - but still tempted to arrange a date.

How did your second date go with the last lady as posted above?

Pretty well and we are still in touch - but she correctly pointed out I was more concerned about my car and perhaps we'd date again when that's sorted out.

Blown2CV said:

well if you don't want to even go on a date with someone because you are already thinking you don't want a relationship then are you just doing it to pass the time? Maybe you already have one - work on the car. Brazilian women can get a bit attached quite quickly i believe.

I was chatting to her to pass the time - if we meet, maybe she'll change my mind. As I mentioned once before - years ago, I ended up with a g/f who moved over from France. So although I prefer to keep them local, sometimes it's worth a try.

I confess that my dating action at the moment is pretty half arsed - it's quite close to the end of the last one, and the problem with my car is my main concern for now. But it passes the time, and who knows - I might meet someone nice, and even if we don't live happily ever after - a short term thing would certainly brighten up the day

[Lemming Train]

From reading your recent posts above I get the distinct impression that all you talk about on your dates is the seemingly endless problems with your car. I suspect that could have something to do with why you only see these women once.

[davek_964]

Lemming Train said:

From reading your recent posts above I get the distinct impression that all you talk about on your dates is the seemingly endless problems with your car. I suspect that could have something to do with why you only see these women once.

No, it was just unfortunate timing.

The first date was the day the car broke down - I already suspected it was a fairly expensive problem, but was surprisingly up-beat on the date.
Second date was the day I found out just how expensive, and it did affect my mood a tad.

Even if the car wasn't about to bankrupt me, I think I still have limited enthusiasm for the dating thing at the moment so was actually quite happy to pause that one.
I'm working on the principle that I'm not that fussed at the moment - so happy to be on the sites and chat to people, meet them if it's relatively little effort (or I think they really are worth the effort) - and then who knows? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

(But they need to be cheap dates for a while!)

[moanthebairns]

davek_964 said:

Lemming Train said:

From reading your recent posts above I get the distinct impression that all you talk about on your dates is the seemingly endless problems with your car. I suspect that could have something to do with why you only see these women once.

No, it was just unfortunate timing.

The first date was the day the car broke down - I already suspected it was a fairly expensive problem, but was surprisingly up-beat on the date.
Second date was the day I found out just how expensive, and it did affect my mood a tad.

Even if the car wasn't about to bankrupt me, I think I still have limited enthusiasm for the dating thing at the moment so was actually quite happy to pause that one.
I'm working on the principle that I'm not that fussed at the moment - so happy to be on the sites and chat to people, meet them if it's relatively little effort (or I think they really are worth the effort) - and then who knows? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

(But they need to be cheap dates for a while!)

I think the burning question that needs to be answered here is......what was wrong with the car!?

[Blown2CV]

moanthebairns said:

davek_964 said:

Lemming Train said:

From reading your recent posts above I get the distinct impression that all you talk about on your dates is the seemingly endless problems with your car. I suspect that could have something to do with why you only see these women once.

No, it was just unfortunate timing.

The first date was the day the car broke down - I already suspected it was a fairly expensive problem, but was surprisingly up-beat on the date.
Second date was the day I found out just how expensive, and it did affect my mood a tad.

Even if the car wasn't about to bankrupt me, I think I still have limited enthusiasm for the dating thing at the moment so was actually quite happy to pause that one.
I'm working on the principle that I'm not that fussed at the moment - so happy to be on the sites and chat to people, meet them if it's relatively little effort (or I think they really are worth the effort) - and then who knows? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

(But they need to be cheap dates for a while!)

I think the burning question that needs to be answered here is......what was wrong with the car!?

interesting that it was expensive enough to ruin the date, but not expensive enough to cancel the date.

[davek_964]

moanthebairns said:

I think the burning question that needs to be answered here is......what was wrong with the car!?

Short version : Variable cam actuator failed (exhaust cam). Actual damage isn't known yet, but initial labour estimate + guesswork for parts was...... high.

[davek_964]

Blown2CV said:

interesting that it was expensive enough to ruin the date, but not expensive enough to cancel the date.

It's expensive enough that a single night out is a drop in the ocean.

[davek_964]

Blimey - POF has become absolutely full of scam profiles since I used it a couple of years ago.

A large percentage of the "views" on my profile are all a variation on the same basic template :

- My favourite colour is <grey / navy / red etc>
- I'm currently reading <some random book>
- I watch a film every night and last night I watched <some random film>
- I've never visited <some random place> but it's on my bucket list
- Worst / best chat up line I've heard is <some random chat up>

And all finish with : You can also find me on quickhump.com.

Obviously, I was happy to discover there is such a website as quickhump.com - but.....

[EL11SEG]

Gretchen said:

EL11SEG said:

Genuine question Gretchen, in the dating world do you find some men are intimidated by your interests? I've been told to 'dumb down' my interest in cars/bikes etc. Not an easy thing to do and really why should I.

I think they’re intimidated by me full stop The ones it attracts have either been young, in to the modified scene (not my thing) or old (and boring) The good ones tend to become mates. I met a long term ex here so common interests.

Some amusing dates include one self-claimed petrolhead who argued and laughed at me when I said I owned an M3 Evo. He claimed there was no way as one was a BMW and one a Mitsubishi. Oh how a laughed. And left.

Do not dumb down your interests. That’s as bad as posting stock photos. It’s you. Be you. And find someone who loves you for just that.

The way things are going I will be single forever, yesterday a 30yr old messaged a simple 'Hook Up' It looked doubtful he could hook up a trailer never mind a bra. I was on form yesterday but opted not to rattle a witty response as I had vans to wash.


And this was last year. Don't know what I was thinking as he could have been easily husband no #2 material My sense of humour is maybe not the best for witty comebacks.

[moanthebairns]

EL11SEG said:

Gretchen said:

EL11SEG said:

Genuine question Gretchen, in the dating world do you find some men are intimidated by your interests? I've been told to 'dumb down' my interest in cars/bikes etc. Not an easy thing to do and really why should I.

I think they’re intimidated by me full stop The ones it attracts have either been young, in to the modified scene (not my thing) or old (and boring) The good ones tend to become mates. I met a long term ex here so common interests.

Some amusing dates include one self-claimed petrolhead who argued and laughed at me when I said I owned an M3 Evo. He claimed there was no way as one was a BMW and one a Mitsubishi. Oh how a laughed. And left.

Do not dumb down your interests. That’s as bad as posting stock photos. It’s you. Be you. And find someone who loves you for just that.

The way things are going I will be single forever, yesterday a 30yr old messaged a simple 'Hook Up' It looked doubtful he could hook up a trailer never mind a bra. I was on form yesterday but opted not to rattle a witty response as I had vans to wash.


And this was last year. Don't know what I was thinking as he could have been easily husband no #2 material My sense of humour is maybe not the best for witty comebacks.

Sooooo, what did he ride?

[EL11SEG]

moanthebairns said:

Sooooo, what did he ride?

Nnnnoooo me that's for sure

[Gretchen]

Thank fk someone eventually asked...

davek_964 said:

moanthebairns said:

I think the burning question that needs to be answered here is......what was wrong with the car!?

Short version : Variable cam actuator failed (exhaust cam). Actual damage isn't known yet, but initial labour estimate + guesswork for parts was...... high.

Come on, this is PH, we can fix this!

EL11SEG said:

The way things are going I will be single forever, yesterday a 30yr old messaged a simple 'Hook Up' It looked doubtful he could hook up a trailer never mind a bra. I was on form yesterday but opted not to rattle a witty response as I had vans to wash.


And this was last year. Don't know what I was thinking as he could have been easily husband no #2 material My sense of humour is maybe not the best for witty comebacks.

My sense of humour. I ended up feeling like I was almost trolling the dating sites. Very few get it, most don’t.

EL11SEG said:

moanthebairns said:

Sooooo, what did he ride?

Nnnnoooo me that's for sure

Of course there’s always the few that get it...

[davek_964]

I think I've concluded that I really can't be bothered to meet Brazilian girl. Shame, because she seems nice enough - but central London is just too far, and even if she turned out to be great - I'm not interested in paying for a travel card every time I want a date!

Was chatting to somebody more local yesterday, and will be meeting for coffee on Monday evening. She seems to have a lot of positives - although also has a dog, which I'm not a big fan of - and lets it sleep in the bed, which I'm really not a big fan of.

There was another girl I chatted to yesterday as well, who I found very intriguing. She definitely has my interest but I get the impression she is not somebody who wants to meet quickly.

My heart still isn't really in it, but perhaps Monday's date - or somebody else on there - can change my mind.

[shirt]

you sound like hard work

[johnwilliams77]

shirt said:

you sound like hard work

Do you like sleeping with dogs?

[SpeckledJim]

johnwilliams77 said:

shirt said:

you sound like hard work

Do you like sleeping with dogs?

Has London got further away during the course of the conversation with Brazilian girl?

What a waste of her and his time.

[craig_m67]

I’ve been dating a Brazilian woman for over a year now, honestly I’d go to Brazil with her if that’s where she wanted to date. Such a breath of fresh air and light.

Any effort you make to meet (anybody) is for you, not them.

[davek_964]

SpeckledJim said:

johnwilliams77 said:

shirt said:

you sound like hard work

Do you like sleeping with dogs?

Has London got further away during the course of the conversation with Brazilian girl?

What a waste of her and his time.

She initiated contact with me. She was attractive, and the initial conversation was good - so although it's further than I would usually choose it was possible I'd decide it was worth the effort.
As it happens, although the conversation continued to be OK there wasn't really any particular spark. If she was local, we probably would have met - but there was nothing that meant it seemed worth the extra effort - but before we chatted for a few days, I couldn't know that.
Does everybody else meet everyone they chat to? I doubt it somehow.

As for the dog thing - I don't mind dogs, but could easily live without them - and I'm a very light sleeper so having a pet sleeping on the bed isn't something I'd choose.

I'm sure some of my ex's would agree I'm hard work - but they were hardly Mary Poppins themselves. We're all different.

[Blown2CV]

davek_964 said:

I think I've concluded that I really can't be bothered to meet Brazilian girl. Shame, because she seems nice enough - but central London is just too far, and even if she turned out to be great - I'm not interested in paying for a travel card every time I want a date!

Was chatting to somebody more local yesterday, and will be meeting for coffee on Monday evening. She seems to have a lot of positives - although also has a dog, which I'm not a big fan of - and lets it sleep in the bed, which I'm really not a big fan of.

There was another girl I chatted to yesterday as well, who I found very intriguing. She definitely has my interest but I get the impression she is not somebody who wants to meet quickly.

My heart still isn't really in it, but perhaps Monday's date - or somebody else on there - can change my mind.

not sure what you want people to say really - maybe nothing. Don't it if you can't be arsed, as you'll either find a load of people that sense that and don't want you or come across cold, or you will luckily get someone into you somehow and you will let them down, and that's not cool.

[xjay1337]

davek_964 said:

I'm sure some of my ex's would agree I'm hard work - but they were hardly Mary Poppins themselves. We're all different.

Deflection is always a good part of self improvement :-)