Do you let work take over family sometimes?

[miniman]

STW2010 said:

el stovey said:

Henry Fiddleton said:

I leave the house at 7am, and am usually home 7:15pm.

I class this as normal, and its Mon-Fri.

How on earth is that normal? Look at how much time you spend at work. You spend almost no time with your family at all.

This is what I do too and I consider it to be normal- that does include the commute. I often work in the evenings and during the weekend (this I don't consider normal though)

I've done this pretty much for years, particularly the evenings and weekends. I suppose it comes down to whether you prioritise providing the material things for your family, or giving them your time. My kids have huge amounts of Lego, but I never have much time to build it with them. I've always felt responsible for providing them with a home, warmth, food, possessions. I probably won't ever ask them in the future, what would you have preferred - stuff or time? I'm probably afraid of what the answer would be!

[vescaegg]

miniman said:

STW2010 said:

el stovey said:

Henry Fiddleton said:

I leave the house at 7am, and am usually home 7:15pm.

I class this as normal, and its Mon-Fri.

How on earth is that normal? Look at how much time you spend at work. You spend almost no time with your family at all.

This is what I do too and I consider it to be normal- that does include the commute. I often work in the evenings and during the weekend (this I don't consider normal though)

I've done this pretty much for years, particularly the evenings and weekends. I suppose it comes down to whether you prioritise providing the material things for your family, or giving them your time. My kids have huge amounts of Lego, but I never have much time to build it with them. I've always felt responsible for providing them with a home, warmth, food, possessions. I probably won't ever ask them in the future, what would you have preferred - stuff or time? I'm probably afraid of what the answer would be!

Im out the door at 6.15am and back around 6.45pm. Pretty much everyone I know with a career (which can mean different commitments than just a job) do the same pretty much, there may be an offset each way with an hour or so becuase im an early person but yeah, pretty much the same.

[SLCZ3]

Nezquick said:

As someone once said:

"Work to live, don't live to work!"

And if you want to live well, then do what the necessary!!

[STW2010]

miniman said:

I've done this pretty much for years, particularly the evenings and weekends. I suppose it comes down to whether you prioritise providing the material things for your family, or giving them your time. My kids have huge amounts of Lego, but I never have much time to build it with them. I've always felt responsible for providing them with a home, warmth, food, possessions. I probably won't ever ask them in the future, what would you have preferred - stuff or time? I'm probably afraid of what the answer would be!

My dad did similar (without the evening and weekend working) and I remember spending loads of time with him (until the parents split and he moved out). I spend a lot of time with my daughter and try to keep the out-of-hours working to when she's asleep or has other arrangements with my wife (i.e. dance class).

I travel a lot too but normally only spend 2-3 days away at a time but always speak to my daughter every night via Skype. She is undoubtedly the most important but I also need to put in serious effort to get ahead in my sector (I have progressed rapidly so far, but the next couple of steps are harder).

I get a lot of annual leave, which is hard to find time through work to actually take it. But when I do I try to take time off when my wife is at work so that I can spend the whole day just with my daughter- I know that she loves this!

[5potTurbo]

Work was extremely busy for me when I had a young family at home (2 under 2 y.o). I'd just been promoted at work, pre-credit crisis, and, fortunately, I managed to make some good money whilst times were good so we're better off now the children are in their teens.

I also missed a recent week's trip back to the UK during their Autumn half-term as I had to go to the U.S for work, but my wife and daughters returned to the UK for that week and had a great time anyway.

I now start work early (07:30) and try to be home by 19:30, which isn't as bad as 06:00-21:30 as it used to be!


ETA: I work, my wife's at home full-time, so it's not as if my children go home to an empty house, as I did at their age.

Edited by 5potTurbo on Friday 21st November 13:56

[mjb1]

miniman said:

STW2010 said:

el stovey said:

Henry Fiddleton said:

I leave the house at 7am, and am usually home 7:15pm.

I class this as normal, and its Mon-Fri.

How on earth is that normal? Look at how much time you spend at work. You spend almost no time with your family at all.

This is what I do too and I consider it to be normal- that does include the commute. I often work in the evenings and during the weekend (this I don't consider normal though)

I've done this pretty much for years, particularly the evenings and weekends. I suppose it comes down to whether you prioritise providing the material things for your family, or giving them your time. My kids have huge amounts of Lego, but I never have much time to build it with them. I've always felt responsible for providing them with a home, warmth, food, possessions. I probably won't ever ask them in the future, what would you have preferred - stuff or time? I'm probably afraid of what the answer would be!

My dad was like that too, usually getting home around 7pm or later. Just in time to bath us and put us to bed when we were younger. I remember the occasional Saturday when he needed to 'pop into work', and he'd leave us in the works car park with the security guys keeping an eye on us from the gate house! It felt like hours at a time as bored kids.

He was lucky enough to have a good job that he enjoyed, although with hindsight I can see his main motivator was to provide the best he could for us. If anything, I'm the complete opposite - forfeiting a 'professional', well paid career for a lower, self employed one. But I work from home and spend much more time with the kids. My missus still complains that I put work before family, even though I plan everything around them.

This discussion reminds me of the song 'Cats in the cradle'...

[miniman]

mjb1 said:

This discussion reminds me of the song 'Cats in the cradle'...

In a spectacular piece of coincidence, this has just played in the office.