Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
SpaceRanger said:
It is effectively a 50:50 split I get 75% of the pensions, She gets 75% of the equity
But you can't live in a pension....
She will have a net income of more than I will once the child maintenance is deducted.
Out of curiosity, can I ask, is the pension amount as valued today guaranteed/ultra safe investments (public sector)? or subject to fluctuate significantly in a private fund. But you can't live in a pension....
She will have a net income of more than I will once the child maintenance is deducted.
If in the future your pension becomes worthless, will you have the right to get this settlement re-assessed, or is it full and final?
SpaceRanger said:
She will have a net income of more than I will once the child maintenance is deducted.
How old are the kids? does the official maintenance stop at 16/18 age.Edited by hyphen on Thursday 6th July 22:57
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Maybe in England but not in Scotland. Of course there can be reasonable reasons why the custodial parent can't comply with an order.
But being awkward or difficult or obstructive about contact to 'punish' the non-custodial parent by depriving them of access is a very dangerous game to play. Access isn't granted as some kind of prize for the absent parent. Access is granted primarily in the furtherance of a child's best interests. And acting against their child's best interests is a quick way to have the custody called into question. Aggravating it by attempting to poison the child against the non-custodial parent or sour the relationship between the child and the absent parent is another dangerous game. And not especially difficult to ascertain either if it's denied.
Especially in difficult cases where it has taken time skill and patience to arrange the child's best interests in the first place, Court will be seriously displeased and very quick to respond tersely and effectively to parties who wilfully disobey its orders. And the response will ensure 'obedience or else' with 'or else' being the certain outcome if the matter has to be returned again.
In certain cases there won't even be an opportunity to indulge in another contempt and Court will require its orders to be supervised.
And yes there are exceptions to this scenario where even the 'contact' between the parties that access involves make the custodian so emotionally overwrought that it impacts badly and very negatively on the child. Even to the nightmare point where the absent parent can be asked to volunteer to relinquish contact.
But that's only for the very special nutters. The 'game players' are quickly brought to heel.
Edited by drainbrain on Thursday 6th July 23:35
I see having kids and marrying these days as the equivalent of jumping into a pool of great white sharks swimming 10 lengths round hoping you'll get out alive...
No. Thank. You.
Approaching the end of the my 30s, keeping dating for fun, no commitments. No debts apart from another 3 years left on mortgage then after that, 3 properties on my books mortgage free. Will keep working on creative jobs that I love and doing things I want to do and being free to go and see the world and take on new experiences for the rest of my days.
No. Thank. You.
Approaching the end of the my 30s, keeping dating for fun, no commitments. No debts apart from another 3 years left on mortgage then after that, 3 properties on my books mortgage free. Will keep working on creative jobs that I love and doing things I want to do and being free to go and see the world and take on new experiences for the rest of my days.
mr_spock said:
On the consent order that's submitted to the court she'll need to say if she intends to remarry or cohabit, so if you have evidence that she does you'll need to give it to your solicitor. That will certainly affect the outcome.
Yes - form D81, page 3https://formfinder.hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/...
Just because she wants 75%, doesn't mean you have to bend over and take it.
SpaceRanger said:
The kids are 8.11.16 and 18.
The 18 year old doesn't count as she is going to university
Th 16 year old will go in 2 years time so maintenance will reduce.
I will be paying for the 8 year old till I am in my 60s (unless I am dead or unemployed
)
You'll still be liable for payments if the child continues with full time education up until they're 20, although it may not be the full amount.The 18 year old doesn't count as she is going to university
Th 16 year old will go in 2 years time so maintenance will reduce.
I will be paying for the 8 year old till I am in my 60s (unless I am dead or unemployed
)https://www.gov.uk/when-child-maintenance-payments...
Dot gov calculator (this is the minimum the paying parent would be expected to contribute):
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenanc...
SpaceRanger said:
She has also just been signed off work for two weeks for stress ,FFS
Be careful....could be part of a wider strategy.SpaceRanger said:
On the good side the forms for the decree nisi arrived today
Great. Six weeks and one day from the date of the nisi, the absolute can be requested by the petitioner... and don't forget that the financial stuff doesn't actually have to be finalised before you have the absolute and are legally divorced.SpaceRanger said:
Had to go to the hospital for a nerve root injection for my back.
This was meant to take a few hours and I would in theory need someone to collect me as I shouldn't be driving after the drugs have been pumped in.
The SoonToBeEx said she could take me but couldn't collect me as she was going shopping.
Turns out she was seeing this other t
t for lunch :
She freely admitted this when I challenged her
I chanced it and drove back as I felt OK after about an hour..
Mate, you have to now consider yourself 100% single from this point on. She's checked out. This was meant to take a few hours and I would in theory need someone to collect me as I shouldn't be driving after the drugs have been pumped in.
The SoonToBeEx said she could take me but couldn't collect me as she was going shopping.
Turns out she was seeing this other t
t for lunch :She freely admitted this when I challenged her
I chanced it and drove back as I felt OK after about an hour..
Swings both ways. Could you take her cat to the vet as she has a full day please? Nope you can't, don't even give a reason beyond 'sorry I'm busy'.
Edited by Plate spinner on Saturday 8th July 09:37
Irrelevant in court who did what
The judge is only interested in housing the kids till 18
No matter what
It's a rough old rough old ride
You get through it
You get past it
Life eventually becomes good again
You get your life back
You change
Don't get bitter
Just get on with your life
One day you look back at them and and wonder what the flying f ck you saw in them.
The judge is only interested in housing the kids till 18
No matter what
It's a rough old rough old ride
You get through it
You get past it
Life eventually becomes good again
You get your life back
You change
Don't get bitter
Just get on with your life
One day you look back at them and and wonder what the flying f ck you saw in them.
For anyone interested...
All papers agreed and submitted to the court a couple of weeks ago. Still waiting for approval or otherwise despite the clerk promising an outcome at the start of last week. We're both getting nervous now that our house chain may collapse, even though we're all ready to go, but can't without an approved consent order.
All papers agreed and submitted to the court a couple of weeks ago. Still waiting for approval or otherwise despite the clerk promising an outcome at the start of last week. We're both getting nervous now that our house chain may collapse, even though we're all ready to go, but can't without an approved consent order.
mr_spock said:
Consent order approved! Onwards and upwards... next step is to divide minor possessions, that will be fun!
Hi YaI know this may sound very glib or patronising or clever clever but its not meant to.
When it comes to possessions its too easy to get bogged down in holding onto stuff. When my wife split from her previous fella (she had been with him quite a while) she simply wanted to keep what she had from BEFORE they were together.
I found this out years ago. Her reasoning was that she didn't want to be reminded by daily objects of him. He took the other view and seemingly wanted everything. he was quite surprised to find her offering little resistance.
It may sound easier to say than do but to her it was her way of dealing with the end of the relationship.
To be fair I have little stuff that I had from my own past relationships. In fact thinking about it there is nothing I have now. It enabled us when we got together to build our own stuff up
My wifes mum had a saying possessions will possess you if you attach to much importance to them
Robertj21a said:
CoolHands said:
I wouldn't worry about any minor crap. Let her have whatever she wants, it's all small fry.
+1 Absolutely Over the next few months she made a pile of stuff from everything she had that she didn't want and offered it to me - most of it went on eBay, the rest the tip.
dumab said:
Joey Deacon said:
Fairly standard divorce end game, checked out of the marriage, found a new boyfriend and then divorce for the cash and prizes. She goes into the divorce cold and calculating while the husband doesn't know what hit him.
Wife gets the house, an income for life and just replaces the husband with the new boyfriend with the same mentality as part exchanging her car for a new one.
Husband is financially ruined and can look forward to renting a bedsit for the forseable future.
Guys, seriously the woman you are marrying is not different this can and will most likely also happen to you.
A classic Joey post. Unfortunately, he hits the nail squarely on the head every single time. I will not be marrying again unless the partnership is equitable.Wife gets the house, an income for life and just replaces the husband with the new boyfriend with the same mentality as part exchanging her car for a new one.
Husband is financially ruined and can look forward to renting a bedsit for the forseable future.
Guys, seriously the woman you are marrying is not different this can and will most likely also happen to you.
It's too much to lose once, never mind twice!
True to form, my ex is now head over heels in the early stages of a new relationship who met the kids within a week or two and stays over nearly every night. it's just the way some people are, it seems.
theboss said:
dumab said:
Joey Deacon said:
Fairly standard divorce end game, checked out of the marriage, found a new boyfriend and then divorce for the cash and prizes. She goes into the divorce cold and calculating while the husband doesn't know what hit him.
Wife gets the house, an income for life and just replaces the husband with the new boyfriend with the same mentality as part exchanging her car for a new one.
Husband is financially ruined and can look forward to renting a bedsit for the forseable future.
Guys, seriously the woman you are marrying is not different this can and will most likely also happen to you.
A classic Joey post. Unfortunately, he hits the nail squarely on the head every single time. I will not be marrying again unless the partnership is equitable.Wife gets the house, an income for life and just replaces the husband with the new boyfriend with the same mentality as part exchanging her car for a new one.
Husband is financially ruined and can look forward to renting a bedsit for the forseable future.
Guys, seriously the woman you are marrying is not different this can and will most likely also happen to you.
It's too much to lose once, never mind twice!
True to form, my ex is now head over heels in the early stages of a new relationship who met the kids within a week or two and stays over nearly every night. it's just the way some people are, it seems.
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