Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[westberks]

SplatSpeed said:

olly22n said:

TheLordJohn said:

SplatSpeed said:

mine had borderline personality disorder, its a horrendous condition. where thoughts become reality in their head. everything in their life has to support that reality.

still free now on wards and upwards.

I dodged a bullet when I was 20. Had an absolutely stunning girlfriend. Awesome tits, awesome in bed, but every day was seriously hard work.
She wasn't mentally stable whatsoever. Had wonderful highs, and painful lows. Can't describe it to well enough to do it justice.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. My ex gave me estatic highs, and soul crushing lows. The highs were just enough to keep me on the hook for night on 3 years. I can reflect on it now, and she was a very troubled soul and was fighting many of her own demons.

But fk i loved that girl and she very nearly took me down with her.

try 25 years

20 was enough thanks.

Free and clear for just over a month now. Feel like a new man, just trying not beat myself up over the number of wasted years that could have been avoided. Did love the crazy bh though and stuck at it too long.

[TheLordJohn]

westberks said:

20 was enough thanks.

Free and clear for just over a month now. Feel like a new man, just trying not beat myself up over the number of wasted years that could have been avoided. Did love the crazy bh though and stuck at it too long.

Could always go for a drive in your 911 Turbo to clear your head

[SplatSpeed]

westberks said:

SplatSpeed said:

olly22n said:

TheLordJohn said:

SplatSpeed said:

mine had borderline personality disorder, its a horrendous condition. where thoughts become reality in their head. everything in their life has to support that reality.

still free now on wards and upwards.

I dodged a bullet when I was 20. Had an absolutely stunning girlfriend. Awesome tits, awesome in bed, but every day was seriously hard work.
She wasn't mentally stable whatsoever. Had wonderful highs, and painful lows. Can't describe it to well enough to do it justice.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. My ex gave me estatic highs, and soul crushing lows. The highs were just enough to keep me on the hook for night on 3 years. I can reflect on it now, and she was a very troubled soul and was fighting many of her own demons.

But fk i loved that girl and she very nearly took me down with her.

try 25 years

20 was enough thanks.

Free and clear for just over a month now. Feel like a new man, just trying not beat myself up over the number of wasted years that could have been avoided. Did love the crazy bh though and stuck at it too long.

we all did bud

[Vi16v]

Just on the chance this may help someone here suffering anxiety/depression. Is your caffeine intake quite high? I suffered until looking into other solutions, caffeine sensitivity popped up and it causes these symptoms too. Cut down from several coffees and cans of coke to just one cup of coffee in morning and plenty water, and the difference was remarkable.

[mr_spock]

Hi all. I feel like I've come to a dead stop today. First mediation session a few days ago was OK, just financial disclosure at this point, but today I just can't seem to move. I got up, did the school run as usual, then just lay down with the radio on and couldn't be bothered with anything. Chatted to a friend on text, but even then just felt flat. I'm supposed to be arranging some social activities for myself over the weekend, but just don't feel like it.

Work colleagues are being very understanding, but I feel like I'm letting them (and myself, and everybody else) down. Still no news on the future of my job, it's dragging on and on and dragging me down with it. I'm now starting to get seriously concerned about money - even if there was no divorce it would be a problem, and this is making it worse.

I normally feel a bit brighter by this point in the day, but there's no sign of this funk clearing and I'm .... just.... flat.

I suspect I sound worse in writing than I actually am, but this is an awful feeling for someone who's always been able to find some reason to get on with things. Maybe I just need a couple of early nights.

[ZX10R NIN]

Get up take the bike out if you're laying down you've got the time to go for a cruise 20-30 minutes will clear your mind for a bit.

[Don1]

Get the hound out for a walk in the sun mate?

[xjay1337]

If you are concerned about work, have you thought about finding a new job?
That can be really invigorating.

Updating your CV, looking back at all the good you have done in the past, finding a new job, preparing for interviews etc, all positive steps.

[mr_spock]

I've been up for a while, done some work email but that's it. I don't feel that I can concentrate enough to ride safely TBH. It's also bloody freezing! Will take the dog later as usual, just having a cuppa and then need to do some cleaning. As for jobs, my CV is up to date, but I have no idea how I'd drag myself through an interview if I got that far.

Just being pathetic and feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for whining!

[theboss]

mangos said:

I was also prescribed propranolol during the relationship which merely just covered up the symptoms of my anxiety, and after I left was prescribed citalopram. It's horrible stuff. And like you (although I am female) it took away any sexual feeling at all. The effect was immediate after the first pill. It's actually bromide which is the same stuff they have to soldiers in ww2 to take away their urges and is a form of medical castration.

It doesn't always affect everyone as badly but I got mine swapped over to something else as it's quite likely that with citalopram the feelings don't come back when you stop using it if you have been on it a while.

I have friends on it who have been fine with it, but it made me numb.

It's only anecdotal, but my girlfriend was prescribed citalopram for anxiety and depression and it seemed to compound rather than alleviate her problems. I only found out when she eventually confided that she had taken to buying the stuff online to supplement her prescription and had increased the dose to several multiples of the recommended. Totally addicted. She has since managed to break the dependency and come off it, but that was only after a hard wake-up call and the realisation that she was seriously compromising her responsibility as a mother to a young child. I think these substances are prescribed by GPs rather too willfully without an appreciation of the dependencies that can form.

[mr_spock]

It's been quiet in here for a while so I thought I'd update. Forgive the lack of detail but it's probably not relevant.

Things are kind of on hold due to delays in getting some financial information. It involves the state pension info amongst other things which could take weeks or even months. Combined with the uncertainty at work, other work pressures (the first quarter is always madly busy), upcoming exams for the kids and some other stuff to do with a work cock-up over my tax which could leave me with a huge bill, and I'm struggling.

I had a couple of weeks where I felt almost normal, but this morning I went back into "pit of despair" mode. I suspect this is because I can't actually DO anything. I just have to wait, and I'm not good at that. I know this is normal, and will pass, but it's still horrible. I'll feel better this afternoon I dare say.

Every time I think I'm back on a fairly even keel some other crap dumps on me. I started talking to myself in the car this morning, just saying "I've had enough now". I'm not suicidal, or going to do anything stupid, but I just feel I'm facing too much to deal with, and that's saying quite a lot as I can normally cope with huge amounts.

I'm just sitting here waiting for the next thing to go wrong. And then I read Tonker's thread and think that I'm lucky that my wife is being reasonable. I hope we can both keep going like that, but the longer we have to share a house the more likely we'll find it impossible. I don't know what happens after that and I don't want to think about it.

[Don1]

Time to go to the doctors my friend - it's not something to be shameful of. You are dealing with so much and you need help, even for the short term until this is over.

[andy-xr]

mr_spock said:

I just feel I'm facing too much to deal with, and that's saying quite a lot as I can normally cope with huge amounts.

What makes you think that 'this' isnt a huge amount?

The thing to watch for is catastrophizing. Let's be honest, it's not exactly like you're chilling by the pool all day with a cheque for £10m in your back pocket. But there are other parts of life that probably wont go to st if they're left to do their thing.

[mr_spock]

Thanks guys. I see a counsellor once a week, and I have mates to vent at. And right now, with the sun streaming in the window and some admin done, I feel sort of OK. The tax cockup last week pushed me over the edge for a few hours, but it's only money and I should be able to sort it out. It's just someone else's incompetence I think.

It's the waiting... and the tiredness.

I find if I say how I'm feeling out loud, I can process it as if someone else is saying it and then deal with it.

In the end I have my health, we have enough money/equity to start again somehow, my kids are bright and hard workers (mostly), I have a good job and skills to get me another so there's lots to be thankful for. If I could only see that in the dark moments!

[Robertj21a]

Try to avoid the 'just waiting'. I know it's difficult, but try to fill the time with some/any activity - go for a long walk/jog/drive, go to see family members/friends, take yourself off on an outing to somewhere you haven't been for a while (or always wanted to go to). Listen to all that music you enjoy .......etc etc

[singlecoil]

Avoid apathy. Avoid panic. Make sure you continue as far as possible to make steady progress towards an achievable goal.

[stuttgartmetal]

Time is the healer
You'll get there.

[anonymous-user]

stuttgartmetal said:

Time is the healer
You'll get there.

I remember people telling me this three and a half years ago and I didn't believe it would ever happen. But it does, the fog lifts so gradually you don't even notice until one day you just realise it is all going to be alright.

[anonymous-user]

olly22n said:

Oh I know exactly what you mean. My ex gave me estatic highs, and soul crushing lows. The highs were just enough to keep me on the hook for night on 3 years. I can reflect on it now, and she was a very troubled soul and was fighting many of her own demons.

But fk i loved that girl and she very nearly took me down with her.

Christ on a bike that exactly sums me up in 2010. You will move in, and to better things.

[bristolracer]

Joey Deacon said:

stuttgartmetal said:

Time is the healer
You'll get there.

I remember people telling me this three and a half years ago and I didn't believe it would ever happen. But it does, the fog lifts so gradually you don't even notice until one day you just realise it is all going to be alright.

This ^
You will one day move from existing back to living.
It's going to take time, but it will happen

Don't stress about the money, divorce is never cheap, in time you will come to see it as the best money you ever spent.
To use a cliche, Keep calm and carry on '