Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[mr_spock]

I'd avoid apathy, except I can't be bothered

I'm fine when I'm busy. Work is at risk but busy, so I'm OK when fully occupied, but every couple of hours it's like I'm mentally hit by a bus and come to a dead stop. I can recognise it now and deal with it. I have been going out, trying new things, meeting new people, but it's quite an emotional strain as I have to turn up to whatever it is on my own and leave on my own. That's the hard part. Activities, gigs etc are good, and I always know people, but it's the "YOU'RE NOT WITH ANYONE" feeling that is painful. Although one day it will be an opportunity.

My emotions and consciousness are at odds, which is somewhat tiring. I guess you've all been there!

[Steve vRS]

Another silver cloud is to think of the money we'll save on the 14th this year!

[Barmyfluid]

Gut wrenching stuff. You wake up (when you can sleep) and that realisation hits again.
It'll take time.
Look after yourself,go to the gym,eat well,get some new clothes. Don't be a victim.
It maybe that happiness is just around the corner,,,

[anonymous-user]

Barmyfluid said:

Gut wrenching stuff. You wake up (when you can sleep) and that realisation hits again.
It'll take time.
Look after yourself,go to the gym,eat well,get some new clothes. Don't be a victim.
It maybe that happiness is just around the corner,,,

Agree with that, have to say three and a half years on and I am happier than when I was married.

Don't date too soon and don't get anyone pregnant. Never believe a woman who tells you she is on the pill or "can't get pregnant".

[mr_spock]

I won't be getting anyone pregnant! For a start, a willing partner is required, and I don't have (and am not looking) for one of those, and secondly I've had the snip anyway.

I thought I had myself a bit more under control yesterday. Then another massive financial hit arrived and I'm back to panic/nausea/loss of concentration again. There's other stuff going on too, all I want is a couple of days when nothing new comes to hit me. Today, all my thoughts around where I could live, and in what sort of property, just got torn up.

This is getting ridiculous.

[Tony427]

It does get better.

33 years ago with the ex Mrs we went to the USA for 3 weeks and when in LA had breakfast on the Queen Mary in Long Beach.

8 years later she ripped my heart out.

3 months after that I then met my present Mrs. 4 weeks after meeting my new lady I woke up one day and thought " What the hell was I thinking for all those wasted years".

Fast forward to now and we are going to the USA, doing California, in March for 3 weeks. Flying to and from LA.

This time we are staying on the Queen Mary. In their best room, so I am told. She should know as she's insisting on paying.

Fate is a wonderful thing.

Cheers,

Tony

[Johnniem]

Whatever the OP's eventual outcome is with the financial side of things (and we only wish him well with that of course!) I would strongly urge that the final agreement is made as a 'full and final settlement'. I've just read the evening paper in which I note the sorry tale of the chap who settled the financial side of his divorce 15 years ago. The ex has now returned to court to ask for an uplift in maintenance (because SHE made bad financial decisions playing on the property market - absolutely nothing to do with him!) as she can't meet her basic needs due to her current indebtedness. The court agrees with her and has awarded a monthly increase. WTF is going on?!! How the hell can that be right??!!

[Scootersp]

There is some heavy stuff on this thread and I feel for you guys (and girls) going through this. I don't think I'm 'wired' for love, or not deep love, I think I'm kind and caring but a little emotionally detached/distant.

Anyway laughter is the best medicine and whilst I suspect it may have been posted somewhere in the 60+ pages of this thread I'm going to post an old classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WITBBVLAMkQ

[grumbledoak]

So, aim for "reasonably not crazy, most of the time". Got it.

[gregs656]

mr_spock said:

I'd avoid apathy, except I can't be bothered

I'm fine when I'm busy. Work is at risk but busy, so I'm OK when fully occupied, but every couple of hours it's like I'm mentally hit by a bus and come to a dead stop. I can recognise it now and deal with it. I have been going out, trying new things, meeting new people, but it's quite an emotional strain as I have to turn up to whatever it is on my own and leave on my own. That's the hard part. Activities, gigs etc are good, and I always know people, but it's the "YOU'RE NOT WITH ANYONE" feeling that is painful. Although one day it will be an opportunity.

My emotions and consciousness are at odds, which is somewhat tiring. I guess you've all been there!

It's already an opportunity. Not necessarily to meet someone romantically but to do things on your own terms.

Very difficult to move forward if you don't see your situation in its best light; though of course it hard to be positive all the time. I found I perked up in the afternoons once I had readjusted (again) to my situation.

[anonymous-user]

mr_spock said:

I won't be getting anyone pregnant! For a start, a willing partner is required, and I don't have (and am not looking) for one of those, and secondly I've had the snip anyway.

When you start dating/hooking up again keep the fact you have been deactivated a secret. Imagine how sweet it is going to be when some woman who sees you as a wallet tells you "I am pregnant" and you reply "Congratulations!!, who's the father?"

[Tuvra]

Joey Deacon said:

mr_spock said:

I won't be getting anyone pregnant! For a start, a willing partner is required, and I don't have (and am not looking) for one of those, and secondly I've had the snip anyway.

When you start dating/hooking up again keep the fact you have been deactivated a secret. Imagine how sweet it is going to be when some woman who sees you as a wallet tells you "I am pregnant" and you reply "Congratulations!!, who's the father?"

Currently going through this, met a bird on holiday, great girl and all that, but its a long distance thing, she's a career woman with a high paying job but she questioned me when I pulled out and now is getting a bit pushy about doing "it" in her, telling me she's on the pill etc and there's no chance.

I'm not even sure what to say to be honest, its awkward, you basically have to admit you don't trust them

[singlecoil]

Tuvra said:

Currently going through this, met a bird on holiday, great girl and all that, but its a long distance thing, she's a career woman with a high paying job but she questioned me when I pulled out and now is getting a bit pushy about doing "it" in her, telling me she's on the pill etc and there's no chance.

I'm not even sure what to say to be honest, its awkward, you basically have to admit you don't trust them

I wouldn't rely on that if I were you.

[steveatesh]

Tuvra said:

Joey Deacon said:

mr_spock said:

I won't be getting anyone pregnant! For a start, a willing partner is required, and I don't have (and am not looking) for one of those, and secondly I've had the snip anyway.

When you start dating/hooking up again keep the fact you have been deactivated a secret. Imagine how sweet it is going to be when some woman who sees you as a wallet tells you "I am pregnant" and you reply "Congratulations!!, who's the father?"

Currently going through this, met a bird on holiday, great girl and all that, but its a long distance thing, she's a career woman with a high paying job but she questioned me when I pulled out and now is getting a bit pushy about doing "it" in her, telling me she's on the pill etc and there's no chance.

I'm not even sure what to say to be honest, its awkward, you basically have to admit you don't trust them

If she sees you as a "good catch" I definitely wouldn't trust her. Mind getting off at Gateshead, as the saying goes here, is still a risky business!

[Royce44]

singlecoil said:

I wouldn't rely on that if I were you.

was thinking the same, you've already done the damage if your in there without protection.

fail to glove up then prepare to fk up.

[singlecoil]

Royce44 said:

singlecoil said:

I wouldn't rely on that if I were you.

was thinking the same, you've already done the damage if you're in there without protection.

fail to glove up then prepare to fk up.

Of course, it could be that she doesn't like where he is doing 'it', which is why she has suggested doing it where nature intended.

[Tuvra]

I don't trust her fully, I barely know her, I have been successfully avoiding the situation for months but we meet the weekend after next and I think it could be a "you don't trust me" moment and then my convenient arrangement may be over

This has gone way off Topic, but seeing as I've been there and heard the word's, it's allowed right?

[mr_spock]

I'm going to say that standing in the corner of a conference room, talking to my mum and crying my eyes out at the age of 50-something because my builder is applying pressure over an invoice that isn't even overdue, that normally I'd bat away without a blink, means that I'm not coping. Every tiny thing sends me over the edge into panic.

Can't decide whether to go to the docs and get pharmaceutical help or not. I don't mind saying I need it, I'm just scared about side effects of just about every option I've heard of.

[Don1]

Potential side effects. If you look at the potential side effects of paracetamol (not the PH'er), they include up to death.

If you need help my friend, you need help. Nothing wrong with that.

[Davey S2]

Tuvra said:

Currently going through this, met a bird on holiday, great girl and all that, but its a long distance thing, she's a career woman with a high paying job but she questioned me when I pulled out and now is getting a bit pushy about doing "it" in her, telling me she's on the pill etc and there's no chance.

I'm not even sure what to say to be honest, its awkward, you basically have to admit you don't trust them

She's clearly getting fed up of finishing every night with a face like a plasterers radio