Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[YankeePorker]

toastybase said:

It's the worst feeling I've experienced and still can't get over it to be honest.

I'm just a bit of a softy.

I'm with you toasty - finding out about my wife's 4 month affair fked me up completely for a year and a half, and to be honest I don't know if I'll ever be the same person again. Ability to sleep normally is gone, and stupid minor things are triggers that bring waves of st back. Damn it makes you cynical. Let's hope time will make it all better again but I have my doubts.

So then it becomes all about making sure that the kids are ok, even while you're navigating a choppy sea of emotion.

[Robertj21a]

YankeePorker said:

toastybase said:

It's the worst feeling I've experienced and still can't get over it to be honest.

I'm just a bit of a softy.

I'm with you toasty - finding out about my wife's 4 month affair fked me up completely for a year and a half, and to be honest I don't know if I'll ever be the same person again. Ability to sleep normally is gone, and stupid minor things are triggers that bring waves of st back. Damn it makes you cynical. Let's hope time will make it all better again but I have my doubts.

So then it becomes all about making sure that the kids are ok, even while you're navigating a choppy sea of emotion.

Time is a great healer - you will get over it (but it may be a few years). Cynicism will grow - and remain.

[craigjm]

olly22n said:

STBX?

Soon to be ex

[anonymous-user]

Robertj21a said:

YankeePorker said:

toastybase said:

It's the worst feeling I've experienced and still can't get over it to be honest.

I'm just a bit of a softy.

I'm with you toasty - finding out about my wife's 4 month affair fked me up completely for a year and a half, and to be honest I don't know if I'll ever be the same person again. Ability to sleep normally is gone, and stupid minor things are triggers that bring waves of st back. Damn it makes you cynical. Let's hope time will make it all better again but I have my doubts.

So then it becomes all about making sure that the kids are ok, even while you're navigating a choppy sea of emotion.

Time is a great healer - you will get over it (but it may be a few years). Cynicism will grow - and remain.

Three and a half years on for me, and I agree that the first year and a half are the worst. Actually the first six months were so bad that I can't even remember them aside from feeling sick and unable to sleep all of the time.

For me the big turning point was getting the finances sorted out and realising that I might be able to buy my own house one day which I achieved three weeks ago. I am the sole name on the deeds and trust me it is staying that way, no way would I ever risk losing everything again.

I am now living with somebody new (younger and hotter than the ex wife which went down well..) but we both own our own properties and keep our finances fairly separate apart from an account for bills.

You are spot on about the Cynicism, especially when it comes to relationships but the reality is I am spot on the majority of the time. When a thread like this appears I can tell the exact outcome instantly, and even when I meet people I can tell who is likely to split up in the near future.

[toastybase]

Joey Deacon said:

Robertj21a said:

YankeePorker said:

toastybase said:

It's the worst feeling I've experienced and still can't get over it to be honest.

I'm just a bit of a softy.

I'm with you toasty - finding out about my wife's 4 month affair fked me up completely for a year and a half, and to be honest I don't know if I'll ever be the same person again. Ability to sleep normally is gone, and stupid minor things are triggers that bring waves of st back. Damn it makes you cynical. Let's hope time will make it all better again but I have my doubts.

So then it becomes all about making sure that the kids are ok, even while you're navigating a choppy sea of emotion.

Time is a great healer - you will get over it (but it may be a few years). Cynicism will grow - and remain.

Three and a half years on for me, and I agree that the first year and a half are the worst. Actually the first six months were so bad that I can't even remember them aside from feeling sick and unable to sleep all of the time.

For me the big turning point was getting the finances sorted out and realising that I might be able to buy my own house one day which I achieved three weeks ago. I am the sole name on the deeds and trust me it is staying that way, no way would I ever risk losing everything again.

I am now living with somebody new (younger and hotter than the ex wife which went down well..) but we both own our own properties and keep our finances fairly separate apart from an account for bills.

You are spot on about the Cynicism, especially when it comes to relationships but the reality is I am spot on the majority of the time. When a thread like this appears I can tell the exact outcome instantly, and even when I meet people I can tell who is likely to split up in the near future.

That sounds very positive. It's just over two years for me. I haven't found anyone new yet which may be turning point in some respects.

Found out lately the ex started seeing a married man with a child and that made me lose a lot of respect for her and at the same time helped me move on a little.

Just wish I hadn't supported her as a friend after she left me, but you live and learn.

Edited by toastybase on Sunday 9th April 19:53

[Robertj21a]

toastybase said:

That sounds very positive. It's just over two years for me. I haven't found anyone new yet which may be turning point in some respects.

Edited by toastybase on Sunday 9th April 19:53

There's no need to rush. Life shouldn't be a race - it's short enough as it is.

[ChocolateFrog]

I'd genuinely rather be stabbed than go through that again.

Three times and it doesn't get any easier.

I really CBA to get emotionally involved again.

[grumbledoak]

ChocolateFrog said:

I'd genuinely rather be stabbed than go through that again.

Three times and it doesn't get any easier.

I really CBA to get emotionally involved again.

Well, no-one can say you're a quitter! Three times? Once was enough.

[stuttgartmetal]

YankeePorker said:

Have merely lurked on this thread for ages but just wanted to add a word of warning.

Ok, wife had an affair a couple of years ago, marriage has been screwed ever since with me basically here because my kids are. She finally moved out to a rental a few weeks ago, have only missed her when folding the laundry, I hate that st.

Well, while we have been cohabiting in a dead marriage I have met a lovely little divorcee among my dog walking friends. Just friends, with her being a bit ambiguous about future possibilities, and me projecting forward to when I'll be single, she'll be ideal etc. A bit of hugging, mutual support chats, but nothing else.

Last week away for work, lonely in a Paris hotel room, chatting away by text to her and the silly cow tells me happily, we'd never work anyway as incompatible, and that she's signed up to a dating website and first date tomorrow night!


Be careful out there chaps.

Mate
She's only said that to get you moving.
Unless she's told you she's not interested in you she is telling you to get on with it, she's ready

Stop guessing
Get in there.

[V8 FOU]

Never been in that situation that you guys have.
But, try this.
Having had a number of relationships, I found the woman I always wanted. Got married after 2 years. Fast forward 18 months to Boxing Day 2008. Off we went on a new trike to the regular bike meeting. Next thing I knew was waking up in hospital with just about everything in plaster. Broken neck, shattered left ankle and left wrist. Seriously dislocated right shoulder. Damaged kidneys. Broken face. Then best mate dropped the really bad news. She died in the accident.
I'm still hurting physically and mentally. Still taking 20 odd pills a day for pain, depression, etc,etc.
But after 20+ operations, every time I wake it's a bonus.

Sooooo, what I am trying to say is make the most of your life and situation. You never know when it might be snatched away from you.

[PH XKR]

speechless

[stuttgartmetal]

YankeePorker said:

Have merely lurked on this thread for ages but just wanted to add a word of warning"............

Be careful out there chaps.

Mate
She's just chivvying you along
All that sh t about incompatibility Etc Etc is just a test

She wants you to move it on
She's ready

Stop bleating

Get the f ck on with iy

[YankeePorker]

stuttgartmetal said:

Mate
She's just chivvying you along
All that sh t about incompatibility Etc Etc is just a test

She wants you to move it on
She's ready

Stop bleating

Get the f ck on with iy

Wow, has she been talking to you too, you seem to know all about it!

Plenty more fish in the sea and I'm in no hurry.

[Kneetrembler]

V8 FOU said:

Never been in that situation that you guys have.
But, try this.
Having had a number of relationships, I found the woman I always wanted. Got married after 2 years. Fast forward 18 months to Boxing Day 2008. Off we went on a new trike to the regular bike meeting. Next thing I knew was waking up in hospital with just about everything in plaster. Broken neck, shattered left ankle and left wrist. Seriously dislocated right shoulder. Damaged kidneys. Broken face. Then best mate dropped the really bad news. She died in the accident.
I'm still hurting physically and mentally. Still taking 20 odd pills a day for pain, depression, etc,etc.
But after 20+ operations, every time I wake it's a bonus.

Sooooo, what I am trying to say is make the most of your life and situation. You never know when it might be snatched away from you.

So sorry to hear your really sad news.

[StescoG66]

V8 FOU said:

Never been in that situation that you guys have.
But, try this.
Having had a number of relationships, I found the woman I always wanted. Got married after 2 years. Fast forward 18 months to Boxing Day 2008. Off we went on a new trike to the regular bike meeting. Next thing I knew was waking up in hospital with just about everything in plaster. Broken neck, shattered left ankle and left wrist. Seriously dislocated right shoulder. Damaged kidneys. Broken face. Then best mate dropped the really bad news. She died in the accident.
I'm still hurting physically and mentally. Still taking 20 odd pills a day for pain, depression, etc,etc.
But after 20+ operations, every time I wake it's a bonus.

Sooooo, what I am trying to say is make the most of your life and situation. You never know when it might be snatched away from you.

So, so sorry to hear. Nothing I can add/say that can make anything better. You have my heartfelt sympathy

[johnwilliams77]

StescoG66 said:

So, so sorry to hear. Nothing I can add/say that can make anything better. You have my heartfelt sympathy

+1 - I just hope you are able to enjoy the rest of your life as much as possible.

[mr_spock]

V8FOU - I can't imagine how anyone can deal with that. I don't have the words...

Meanwhile, back in my relatively trivial divorce, we're nearing the end of negotiations over a settlement (I hope) and although it's very painful, and will cramp my style rather a lot over the next few years, it will be a beginning as well as an end. I've found a decent house at a sensible price which is much further away from my life than I'd like, and not the style I would ever seek out, but that's the compromise.

We seem to be able to agree so far on division of the stuff in the house, so maybe over the next couple of weeks we can get the agreement turned into a consent order, our stuff divided up and the packing can begin in earnest.

It could all fall apart though, but I'm hopeful. Kind of.

[Steve vRS]

Well my trivial life problems compared to those above are as follows.

Our house completes tomorrow. Everything is packed and everything agreed financially and concerning the kids going forward.

She moves into her new house tomorrow, I have to wait for mine for a couple of weeks so am being a bit of a nomad till then.

Onwards and upwards!

FML

[PH XKR]

Steve vRS said:

FMW

fixed it for you

[Steve vRS]

Well today wasn't too bad, the move kept me too busy to get emotional. I also had an hour on the bike averaging over 20mph before a rib eye steak and a few beers in the pub over the road from the B and B.

Back to reality tomorrow.

Too soon to download Tinder?