Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Now.. what were we saying about you should have filed first?
You can object to paying the filing fee on the acknowledgement of service.
Du1point8 said:
Those 4 reasons for divorce must be the poorest ever... sharing facebook page???
Why cant she just say she was unfaithful and leave it at that? I dont believe it will affect the outcome anyway.
Nowhere near as ridiculous as the reasons in mine... unfortunately I can't post them here as I know this gets read Why cant she just say she was unfaithful and leave it at that? I dont believe it will affect the outcome anyway.
and it will identify me.At any rate, it doesn't have to be proved, and you don't have to admit to anything for it to still proceed.
You also can't file a divorce petition for adultery if it is YOUR adultery... only if it is the other persons and there are time limits involved. One of the (many) quirks in the outdated divorce laws that really do need to be modernised.
Some progress in my divorce process. After mediation and some additional discussion we now have both signed the consent order. It should go to the court this week, we're both hoping it's approved without any questions or issues - but could go through, or not. We have a buyer for the house, both have new places lined up and I have a mortgage offer (she'll get enough cash to buy outright, which is what we both wanted). We're still in the same house for now, and actually are kind of getting along OK on the few shared things - kids, dealing with builders and so on. I'm "doing a Tonker" and sucking up any inequity in effort around the house, but she'd probably say the same!
Not long now... still riding the emotional roller coaster, not helped by work problems, but it's smoother than it was.
Not long now... still riding the emotional roller coaster, not helped by work problems, but it's smoother than it was.
mr_spock said:
Some progress in my divorce process. After mediation and some additional discussion we now have both signed the consent order. It should go to the court this week, we're both hoping it's approved without any questions or issues - but could go through, or not. We have a buyer for the house, both have new places lined up and I have a mortgage offer (she'll get enough cash to buy outright, which is what we both wanted). We're still in the same house for now, and actually are kind of getting along OK on the few shared things - kids, dealing with builders and so on. I'm "doing a Tonker" and sucking up any inequity in effort around the house, but she'd probably say the same!
Not long now... still riding the emotional roller coaster, not helped by work problems, but it's smoother than it was.
Good stuff, well done (to both of you). Not long now before a fresh new world opens up for you.Not long now... still riding the emotional roller coaster, not helped by work problems, but it's smoother than it was.
Robertj21a said:
mr_spock said:
Some progress in my divorce process. After mediation and some additional discussion we now have both signed the consent order. It should go to the court this week, we're both hoping it's approved without any questions or issues - but could go through, or not. We have a buyer for the house, both have new places lined up and I have a mortgage offer (she'll get enough cash to buy outright, which is what we both wanted). We're still in the same house for now, and actually are kind of getting along OK on the few shared things - kids, dealing with builders and so on. I'm "doing a Tonker" and sucking up any inequity in effort around the house, but she'd probably say the same!
Not long now... still riding the emotional roller coaster, not helped by work problems, but it's smoother than it was.
Good stuff, well done (to both of you). Not long now before a fresh new world opens up for you.Not long now... still riding the emotional roller coaster, not helped by work problems, but it's smoother than it was.
The cohabiting stage a lot of us have to go through can be tough. We started a child care rota during this stage - not only so that the kids to start to adjust to mum and dad not being together, but also so that we could each arrange to be out of the house when the other was 'on duty' as much as possible. It worked OK but we were both pretty relieved when the offer on my new place went through and I moved out.
I know she's still gritting her teeth at having to have anything to do with me, but when I was unwell recently she took me to hospital and at least showed some concern, which was nice. I'd do the same for her. We can still make each other laugh a bit too. Our teenagers seem to be OK at the moment, the summer will drag I expect as the moving process is a little complicated (not due to us). Fingers crossed the docs get through court swiftly...
SpaceRanger said:
The other bloke was a stay at home husband as far as I am aware.
I did try and argue for the equity share that she shouldn't have any of my pension but the mediator said the consent order would be challenged by courts on this I will be seeking legal advise on the proposal.
Her parents are close by so I can't see her moving plus I am not sure the two middle children would accept it. I understand you can get contact orders drawn up to prevent this.
I don't understand how they can reach the 75% equity conclusion? Sorry about that and all the best to you.I did try and argue for the equity share that she shouldn't have any of my pension but the mediator said the consent order would be challenged by courts on this I will be seeking legal advise on the proposal.
Her parents are close by so I can't see her moving plus I am not sure the two middle children would accept it. I understand you can get contact orders drawn up to prevent this.
SpaceRanger said:
Just had the financial disclosure with the mediators yesterday.
It looks like she will get 75% of the house equity (~£160k) and 21% of the pensions (£51K)
I will pay child support of £641/month :scared: plus have to pay similar in rent for my own place.
She wants to sell up and move to a cheaper area with the implication that the new man (his own marriage wrecked by this) moves in ASAP
They have been in contact for about three months
I raised my concerns about this person being close to my kids but as long as he is not a registered sex offender there is nothing I can do about it 
Upshot of it and with hindsight - she had checked out of the marriage for a year - this new guy was just the incentive to complete the process.
I accept some of the blame for this but trying to play the 'what if' game is pointless.
Looking to get some counselling as I believe I am clinically depressed
Fairly standard divorce end game, checked out of the marriage, found a new boyfriend and then divorce for the cash and prizes. She goes into the divorce cold and calculating while the husband doesn't know what hit him.It looks like she will get 75% of the house equity (~£160k) and 21% of the pensions (£51K)
I will pay child support of £641/month :scared: plus have to pay similar in rent for my own place.
She wants to sell up and move to a cheaper area with the implication that the new man (his own marriage wrecked by this) moves in ASAP
They have been in contact for about three months
I raised my concerns about this person being close to my kids but as long as he is not a registered sex offender there is nothing I can do about it Upshot of it and with hindsight - she had checked out of the marriage for a year - this new guy was just the incentive to complete the process.
I accept some of the blame for this but trying to play the 'what if' game is pointless.
Looking to get some counselling as I believe I am clinically depressed
Wife gets the house, an income for life and just replaces the husband with the new boyfriend with the same mentality as part exchanging her car for a new one.
Husband is financially ruined and can look forward to renting a bedsit for the forseable future.
Guys, seriously the woman you are marrying is not different this can and will most likely also happen to you.
SpaceRanger said:
The other bloke was a stay at home husband as far as I am aware.
I did try and argue for the equity share that she shouldn't have any of my pension but the mediator said the consent order would be challenged by courts on this I will be seeking legal advise on the proposal.
Her parents are close by so I can't see her moving plus I am not sure the two middle children would accept it. I understand you can get contact orders drawn up to prevent this.
Are you aware from what you have been told by your wife, or from your own research?I did try and argue for the equity share that she shouldn't have any of my pension but the mediator said the consent order would be challenged by courts on this I will be seeking legal advise on the proposal.
Her parents are close by so I can't see her moving plus I am not sure the two middle children would accept it. I understand you can get contact orders drawn up to prevent this.
dumab said:
A classic Joey post. Unfortunately, he hits the nail squarely on the head every single time. I will not be marrying again unless the partnership is equitable.
It's too much to lose once, never mind twice!
Luckily having no savings, pension, no kids (yet) and a race car means if I get married there's nothing for me to lose!It's too much to lose once, never mind twice!
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Indeed, it is only money - value the relationship with the kids first, your own morality second, and try really really hard not to use financial leverage against your ex. That way lies bitterness and possible madness. It is incredibly difficult and easy to see why many divorces fall to squabbling over things that really are pretty insignificant.
SpaceRanger said:
Just had the financial disclosure with the mediators yesterday.
It looks like she will get 75% of the house equity (~£160k) and 21% of the pensions (£51K)
I will pay child support of £641/month :scared: plus have to pay similar in rent for my own place.
Perhaps I'm naive on this subject, but It looks like she will get 75% of the house equity (~£160k) and 21% of the pensions (£51K)
I will pay child support of £641/month :scared: plus have to pay similar in rent for my own place.
So the PH tales of going from a nice detached family house, fun car and a disposable income to a bedsit, shed and an empty wallet is true!
Mate of mine had 500k in the bank. Unfortunately, as a tax avoiding contractor, HMRC were all over him for about £130k.
He took his cash and paid off his large mortgage, counting on the fact that as he had 4 young kids with his partner, HMRC wouldn't make him bankrupt and homeless.
But after paying off his mortgage, he got locked out of the house by his now ex partner. She is keeping the house and he now lives in a house share.
He still owes a chunk to HMRC. A big chunk.
Sees his kids every two weeks.
He took his cash and paid off his large mortgage, counting on the fact that as he had 4 young kids with his partner, HMRC wouldn't make him bankrupt and homeless.
But after paying off his mortgage, he got locked out of the house by his now ex partner. She is keeping the house and he now lives in a house share.
He still owes a chunk to HMRC. A big chunk.
Sees his kids every two weeks.
Olivera said:
SpaceRanger said:
Just had the financial disclosure with the mediators yesterday.
It looks like she will get 75% of the house equity (~£160k) and 21% of the pensions (£51K)
I will pay child support of £641/month :scared: plus have to pay similar in rent for my own place.
Perhaps I'm naive on this subject, but It looks like she will get 75% of the house equity (~£160k) and 21% of the pensions (£51K)
I will pay child support of £641/month :scared: plus have to pay similar in rent for my own place.
So the PH tales of going from a nice detached family house, fun car and a disposable income to a bedsit, shed and an empty wallet is true!
The kids need paying for as well as a roof over their head.
Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 6th July 18:51
TTmonkey said:
Mate of mine had 500k in the bank. Unfortunately, as a tax avoiding contractor, HMRC were all over him for about £130k.
He took his cash and paid off his large mortgage, counting on the fact that as he had 4 young kids with his partner, HMRC wouldn't make him bankrupt and homeless.
But after paying off his mortgage, he got locked out of the house by his now ex partner. She is keeping the house and he now lives in a house share.
He still owes a chunk to HMRC. A big chunk.
Sees his kids every two weeks.
You could say that's poetic justice.He took his cash and paid off his large mortgage, counting on the fact that as he had 4 young kids with his partner, HMRC wouldn't make him bankrupt and homeless.
But after paying off his mortgage, he got locked out of the house by his now ex partner. She is keeping the house and he now lives in a house share.
He still owes a chunk to HMRC. A big chunk.
Sees his kids every two weeks.
Monkeylegend said:
TTmonkey said:
Mate of mine had 500k in the bank. Unfortunately, as a tax avoiding contractor, HMRC were all over him for about £130k.
He took his cash and paid off his large mortgage, counting on the fact that as he had 4 young kids with his partner, HMRC wouldn't make him bankrupt and homeless.
But after paying off his mortgage, he got locked out of the house by his now ex partner. She is keeping the house and he now lives in a house share.
He still owes a chunk to HMRC. A big chunk.
Sees his kids every two weeks.
You could say that's poetic justice.He took his cash and paid off his large mortgage, counting on the fact that as he had 4 young kids with his partner, HMRC wouldn't make him bankrupt and homeless.
But after paying off his mortgage, he got locked out of the house by his now ex partner. She is keeping the house and he now lives in a house share.
He still owes a chunk to HMRC. A big chunk.
Sees his kids every two weeks.
If you're not paying her maintenance, that's not a bad outcome, especially if your kids are young. Your solicitor will help you calculate how good/bad it is depending on the age of the kids.
On the consent order that's submitted to the court she'll need to say if she intends to remarry or cohabit, so if you have evidence that she does you'll need to give it to your solicitor. That will certainly affect the outcome.
I'm happy to tell you more details of how it worked out for me (well, assuming the court approves it) as a comparison, but not on an open forum. Feel free to PM me and we can have a chat.
On the consent order that's submitted to the court she'll need to say if she intends to remarry or cohabit, so if you have evidence that she does you'll need to give it to your solicitor. That will certainly affect the outcome.
I'm happy to tell you more details of how it worked out for me (well, assuming the court approves it) as a comparison, but not on an open forum. Feel free to PM me and we can have a chat.
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