Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
The hatred is mostly a guilt coping strategy. If you hate someone you can't feel guilty about anything you do to them, or anything you deprive them of. So if it benefits you to be nasty to someone and it benefits you to take their stuff, and you don't want to feel guilty about that, then you better start hating them. It makes everything so much easier.
singlecoil said:
The hatred is mostly a guilt coping strategy. If you hate someone you can't feel guilty about anything you do to them, or anything you deprive them of. So if it benefits you to be nasty to someone and it benefits you to take their stuff, and you don't want to feel guilty about that, then you better start hating them. It makes everything so much easier.
Quite. It seems to be very common in women but much less likely in men (exceptions to both of course).Robertj21a said:
singlecoil said:
The hatred is mostly a guilt coping strategy. If you hate someone you can't feel guilty about anything you do to them, or anything you deprive them of. So if it benefits you to be nasty to someone and it benefits you to take their stuff, and you don't want to feel guilty about that, then you better start hating them. It makes everything so much easier.
Quite. 
demonising someone in your mind to justify your actions.Robertj21a said:
I wouldn't say that it is really funny, more like really sad. They just won't, or can't, move on but their real problem is that many females are very capable of maintaining hatred, bitterness, or simple dislike, for the rest of their lives - quite literally.
I really pity my ex. She seems depressed, lonely, consigned to a mediocre quality of life on benefits, and well aware that she sacrificed a happy family unit and a dependable partner for the excitement of an affair partner.I think the thing which hurts her the most is seeing me maintain the family unit without her in it. She really thought I would just disappear and send her money. Our kids don't like her partner because of the affair history but are absolutely adoring towards my girlfriend - she doesn't like that much either.
hyphen said:
Robertj21a said:
singlecoil said:
The hatred is mostly a guilt coping strategy. If you hate someone you can't feel guilty about anything you do to them, or anything you deprive them of. So if it benefits you to be nasty to someone and it benefits you to take their stuff, and you don't want to feel guilty about that, then you better start hating them. It makes everything so much easier.
Quite. demonising someone in your mind to justify your actions.A fella I work with is divorced with 3 kids to his ex, and whilst I m well aware of his short comings , he really does try with his kids and put their needs well above anything else, she on the other hand uses them as pawns in her game and is constantly shacking up with some new fella who quickly becomes ‘daddy’ to the children before inevitably burning out and on to the next.
Edited by Fckitdriveon on Wednesday 11th April 13:14
ClaphamGT3 said:
Seventeen years after we separated and despite being re-married to a lovely guy for some years, my ex cannot let it go and will tell anyone who will listen what a total s
t I was and how I have ruined her life
That either means thatt I was and how I have ruined her lifeA) She's not over you.
B) She's furious that you managed to move on without her in your life.
It’s interesting on here as people often come on and post all and sundry about their life and woes and then disappear without keeping it going or realising they have infact given out far too much info or there’s a possibility they might be ‘rumbled’ and then turn to dust .
My missus friend recently did much the same thing, found a hotel receipt in her fellas pocket (pissed up and stumbled into a hotel by all accounts whilst visiting friends) unearthed evidence of not very much at all, but went on some Facebook rant, told everyone who d listen, his family, moved out the house they shared spent a night at our place where all she d talk about was him etc etc.
For a few days it was all sympathy for her etc, but then the tide slowly starting turning and his family naturally started to side with him as that’s what families do and it all started dying down and she was starting to see she was going to be left with nothing, she went back to him tail between legs within a week and ended up being the one who apologised as strange as it sounds. Now all of a sudden she’s not so keen to bring it up .
Nowt strange as folk.
My missus friend recently did much the same thing, found a hotel receipt in her fellas pocket (pissed up and stumbled into a hotel by all accounts whilst visiting friends) unearthed evidence of not very much at all, but went on some Facebook rant, told everyone who d listen, his family, moved out the house they shared spent a night at our place where all she d talk about was him etc etc.
For a few days it was all sympathy for her etc, but then the tide slowly starting turning and his family naturally started to side with him as that’s what families do and it all started dying down and she was starting to see she was going to be left with nothing, she went back to him tail between legs within a week and ended up being the one who apologised as strange as it sounds. Now all of a sudden she’s not so keen to bring it up .
Nowt strange as folk.
Fckitdriveon said:
It’s interesting on here as people often come on and post all and sundry about their life and woes and then disappear without keeping it going or realising they have infact given out far too much info or there’s a possibility they might be ‘rumbled’ and then turn to dust .
My missus friend recently did much the same thing, found a hotel receipt in her fellas pocket (pissed up and stumbled into a hotel by all accounts whilst visiting friends) unearthed evidence of not very much at all, but went on some Facebook rant, told everyone who d listen, his family, moved out the house they shared spent a night at our place where all she d talk about was him etc etc.
For a few days it was all sympathy for her etc, but then the tide slowly starting turning and his family naturally started to side with him as that’s what families do and it all started dying down and she was starting to see she was going to be left with nothing, she went back to him tail between legs within a week and ended up being the one who apologised as strange as it sounds. Now all of a sudden she’s not so keen to bring it up .
Nowt strange as folk.
Indeed. And likely all would have been avoided with a text Whap or call between check in and finding the room.My missus friend recently did much the same thing, found a hotel receipt in her fellas pocket (pissed up and stumbled into a hotel by all accounts whilst visiting friends) unearthed evidence of not very much at all, but went on some Facebook rant, told everyone who d listen, his family, moved out the house they shared spent a night at our place where all she d talk about was him etc etc.
For a few days it was all sympathy for her etc, but then the tide slowly starting turning and his family naturally started to side with him as that’s what families do and it all started dying down and she was starting to see she was going to be left with nothing, she went back to him tail between legs within a week and ended up being the one who apologised as strange as it sounds. Now all of a sudden she’s not so keen to bring it up .
Nowt strange as folk.
Rude-boy said:
Fckitdriveon said:
It’s interesting on here as people often come on and post all and sundry about their life and woes and then disappear without keeping it going or realising they have infact given out far too much info or there’s a possibility they might be ‘rumbled’ and then turn to dust .
My missus friend recently did much the same thing, found a hotel receipt in her fellas pocket (pissed up and stumbled into a hotel by all accounts whilst visiting friends) unearthed evidence of not very much at all, but went on some Facebook rant, told everyone who d listen, his family, moved out the house they shared spent a night at our place where all she d talk about was him etc etc.
For a few days it was all sympathy for her etc, but then the tide slowly starting turning and his family naturally started to side with him as that’s what families do and it all started dying down and she was starting to see she was going to be left with nothing, she went back to him tail between legs within a week and ended up being the one who apologised as strange as it sounds. Now all of a sudden she’s not so keen to bring it up .
Nowt strange as folk.
Indeed. And likely all would have been avoided with a text Whap or call between check in and finding the room.My missus friend recently did much the same thing, found a hotel receipt in her fellas pocket (pissed up and stumbled into a hotel by all accounts whilst visiting friends) unearthed evidence of not very much at all, but went on some Facebook rant, told everyone who d listen, his family, moved out the house they shared spent a night at our place where all she d talk about was him etc etc.
For a few days it was all sympathy for her etc, but then the tide slowly starting turning and his family naturally started to side with him as that’s what families do and it all started dying down and she was starting to see she was going to be left with nothing, she went back to him tail between legs within a week and ended up being the one who apologised as strange as it sounds. Now all of a sudden she’s not so keen to bring it up .
Nowt strange as folk.
Amir khan calling out his wife on twitter for an affair with Joshua
Jonno02 said:
ClaphamGT3 said:
Seventeen years after we separated and despite being re-married to a lovely guy for some years, my ex cannot let it go and will tell anyone who will listen what a total st I was and how I have ruined her life
That either means thatt I was and how I have ruined her lifeA) She's not over you.
B) She's furious that you managed to move on without her in your life.
Make sure yiou wear a condom
Joey Deacon said:
The problem is the majority of women do this for one/combination of the following reasons :
Boredom, usually because there life is too easy and they want a bit of excitement
Wonder if "This is it" and think the grass is greener.
Worry about losing their looks and sexual market value, start to look for validation that they have still got it.
So they start flirting with someone they know either in real life or on Facebook and the excitement and tingles all start to come back. Suddenly they crave the Dopamine hit they are now getting and they believe that it will carry on forever with this new man. They then see you as the obstacle in the way of them being "happy" hence the hatred towards you.
The secret text messages and arranging to meet in premier inns for the afternoon is so exciting that it is all they can think about. Eventually the husband finds out, but it is a relief because it means they can now replace the husband with the new exciting man, much the same way you would replace an old car.
But the problem is what she built up in her mind was a fantasy life, once she can be with the new man the excitement wears off and she realises he is not like she thought he was. Suddenly there is not the buzz of meeting up for sex, it is Saturday night in front of the TV and washing his dirty pants.
New boss, same as the old boss (only everything is now 100 times more akward than it was before)
Rinse and repeat.
If you're finding that the majority of women do this to you, maybe it's time to start looking at the common denominator. Boredom, usually because there life is too easy and they want a bit of excitement
Wonder if "This is it" and think the grass is greener.
Worry about losing their looks and sexual market value, start to look for validation that they have still got it.
So they start flirting with someone they know either in real life or on Facebook and the excitement and tingles all start to come back. Suddenly they crave the Dopamine hit they are now getting and they believe that it will carry on forever with this new man. They then see you as the obstacle in the way of them being "happy" hence the hatred towards you.
The secret text messages and arranging to meet in premier inns for the afternoon is so exciting that it is all they can think about. Eventually the husband finds out, but it is a relief because it means they can now replace the husband with the new exciting man, much the same way you would replace an old car.
But the problem is what she built up in her mind was a fantasy life, once she can be with the new man the excitement wears off and she realises he is not like she thought he was. Suddenly there is not the buzz of meeting up for sex, it is Saturday night in front of the TV and washing his dirty pants.
New boss, same as the old boss (only everything is now 100 times more akward than it was before)
Rinse and repeat.
I'm not saying for a moment it doesn't happen, but in my experience it's very much the minority (I only know one woman in my circle of friends, although this does sum her up quite well!)
Also, and brace yourself for this... Some men do it too!!
Ari said:
If you're finding that the majority of women do this to you, maybe it's time to start looking at the common denominator.
I'm not saying for a moment it doesn't happen, but in my experience it's very much the minority (I only know one woman in my circle of friends, although this does sum her up quite well!)
Also, and brace yourself for this... Some men do it too!!
Away with you and your balanced viewsI'm not saying for a moment it doesn't happen, but in my experience it's very much the minority (I only know one woman in my circle of friends, although this does sum her up quite well!)
Also, and brace yourself for this... Some men do it too!!
Shoo!
FN2TypeR said:
Ari said:
If you're finding that the majority of women do this to you, maybe it's time to start looking at the common denominator.
I'm not saying for a moment it doesn't happen, but in my experience it's very much the minority (I only know one woman in my circle of friends, although this does sum her up quite well!)
Also, and brace yourself for this... Some men do it too!!
Away with you and your balanced viewsI'm not saying for a moment it doesn't happen, but in my experience it's very much the minority (I only know one woman in my circle of friends, although this does sum her up quite well!)
Also, and brace yourself for this... Some men do it too!!
Shoo!
It does seem to be a common theme, my daughter recently told my mother my ex still hates me, my mother was visibly shocked by use of such a word.
Had I been violent towards her, spent all my time down the pub, at the football, or the golf course, a womaniser, or a criminal, gambled our money away etc etc then I could understand to some degree the continued resentment all these years later, but all I did was call time on a relationship she was not happy in either, and she got the lions share of the assets!
They do seem to hold a grudge, I have lost count of the number of times I have held out the olive branch now, for it to be ignored each and every time.
Had I been violent towards her, spent all my time down the pub, at the football, or the golf course, a womaniser, or a criminal, gambled our money away etc etc then I could understand to some degree the continued resentment all these years later, but all I did was call time on a relationship she was not happy in either, and she got the lions share of the assets!
They do seem to hold a grudge, I have lost count of the number of times I have held out the olive branch now, for it to be ignored each and every time.
Edited by PAUL500 on Wednesday 11th April 19:15
PAUL500 said:
It does seem to be a common theme, my daughter recently told my mother my ex still hates me, my mother was visibly shocked by use of such a word.
Had I been violent towards her, spent all my time down the pub, at the football, or the golf course, a womaniser, or a criminal, gambled our money away etc etc then I could understand to some degree the continued resentment all these years later, but all I did was call time on a relationship she was not happy in either, and she got the lions share of the assets!
They do seem to hold a grudge, I have lost count of the number of times I have held out the olive branch now.
Kindness for weakness. Had I been violent towards her, spent all my time down the pub, at the football, or the golf course, a womaniser, or a criminal, gambled our money away etc etc then I could understand to some degree the continued resentment all these years later, but all I did was call time on a relationship she was not happy in either, and she got the lions share of the assets!
They do seem to hold a grudge, I have lost count of the number of times I have held out the olive branch now.
Demonising
A great word.
It’s the guilt that leads to that
They think it’s all your fault, and that they are not a bad person then rearrange the history to
fit their mindset.
It’s the hatred.
Do you know that women could rule the world
The mothers, the good ones
Do you know why they can’t
Because they hate each other so much.
Slaves to their hormones
Slaves to their body clocks
Slaves to their loss of fertility
Slaves to their jealousy
Mental
A great word.
It’s the guilt that leads to that
They think it’s all your fault, and that they are not a bad person then rearrange the history to
fit their mindset.
It’s the hatred.
Do you know that women could rule the world
The mothers, the good ones
Do you know why they can’t
Because they hate each other so much.
Slaves to their hormones
Slaves to their body clocks
Slaves to their loss of fertility
Slaves to their jealousy
Mental
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