Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Frank7 said:
When my first wife and I divorced, all totally my fault, I’d walked into a bar, saw this vision, and was struck by “un coup de foudre.”
I rented an apartment, and the vision moved in with me, swiftly followed by my wife starting divorce proceedings.
One evening the buzzer rang, and a guy stood there, he said, “I work for the solicitor who’s handling this for your wife, it will all go smoother and quicker, if you both agree to sign a statement that you have committed adultery with the co-respondent, if you don’t, it means that we’ll employ an investigator, who’ll follow you around, getting photos of the two of you together, not in bed, but in circumstances that are obvious that you’re in a loving relationship, it’s up to you.”
I said, “Where do we sign?”
It all went smoothly after that, turned up at the Family Division of the High Court in the Strand WC2, they ordered me to pay £XX per month to my ex for her and my two boys, I agreed, end of story, or so I thought.
Eight years later, my inamorata fell for someone else, and it was “Goodnight Vienna.”
Live by the sword, die by the sword, I hollowly told myself, while my insides churned like frozen jelly.
"A dog that will bring you a bone will steal a bone away" as my nanny always used to say when faced with a tale like yoursI rented an apartment, and the vision moved in with me, swiftly followed by my wife starting divorce proceedings.
One evening the buzzer rang, and a guy stood there, he said, “I work for the solicitor who’s handling this for your wife, it will all go smoother and quicker, if you both agree to sign a statement that you have committed adultery with the co-respondent, if you don’t, it means that we’ll employ an investigator, who’ll follow you around, getting photos of the two of you together, not in bed, but in circumstances that are obvious that you’re in a loving relationship, it’s up to you.”
I said, “Where do we sign?”
It all went smoothly after that, turned up at the Family Division of the High Court in the Strand WC2, they ordered me to pay £XX per month to my ex for her and my two boys, I agreed, end of story, or so I thought.
Eight years later, my inamorata fell for someone else, and it was “Goodnight Vienna.”
Live by the sword, die by the sword, I hollowly told myself, while my insides churned like frozen jelly.
Ronzx6r said:
Does anyone know if that Wolffy guy came back after they reunited ?! got bored after page 39
Yep, twas me, Lasted approx 11 months, then just before Christmas that year , I got the same again.2 years on, we're both with other people, get on as friends, nothing nasty, but luckily we didnt have kids.
cootuk said:
"Nobody would ever contest the divorce, it is a total waste of everyone's time and money."
Unless there's a possible future inheritance, and they want to go the whole 5 years in case someone dies and leaves ££££££.
Exactly. I have the prospect of a future compensation settlement for clinical negligence and the first thing my wife said when facing a divorce petition was "I'm not singing anything whilst you are due a payout". Of course she couldn't really dispute the fact that she was living with somebody else so it didn't go anywhere.Unless there's a possible future inheritance, and they want to go the whole 5 years in case someone dies and leaves ££££££.
The fact that she couldn't have cared less whilst I was in hospital being dealt a disability and was actively using the childcare provided by my family to spend more time with her affair partner rather than visit her hospital-bound spouse doesn't even seem to have come into it. I remember her sitting in the room with me and my consultant discussing my discharge and she was just incessantly talking over me saying "he's not ready to come home yet". Now she smells money and she wants to maximise any entitlement she may realise.
Frank7 said:
When my first wife and I divorced, all totally my fault, I’d walked into a bar, saw this vision, and was struck by “un coup de foudre.”
I rented an apartment, and the vision moved in with me, swiftly followed by my wife starting divorce proceedings.
One evening the buzzer rang, and a guy stood there, he said, “I work for the solicitor who’s handling this for your wife, it will all go smoother and quicker, if you both agree to sign a statement that you have committed adultery with the co-respondent, if you don’t, it means that we’ll employ an investigator, who’ll follow you around, getting photos of the two of you together, not in bed, but in circumstances that are obvious that you’re in a loving relationship, it’s up to you.”
I said, “Where do we sign?”
It all went smoothly after that, turned up at the Family Division of the High Court in the Strand WC2, they ordered me to pay £XX per month to my ex for her and my two boys, I agreed, end of story, or so I thought.
Eight years later, my inamorata fell for someone else, and it was “Goodnight Vienna.”
Live by the sword, die by the sword, I hollowly told myself, while my insides churned like frozen jelly.
Glad, you deserved it.I rented an apartment, and the vision moved in with me, swiftly followed by my wife starting divorce proceedings.
One evening the buzzer rang, and a guy stood there, he said, “I work for the solicitor who’s handling this for your wife, it will all go smoother and quicker, if you both agree to sign a statement that you have committed adultery with the co-respondent, if you don’t, it means that we’ll employ an investigator, who’ll follow you around, getting photos of the two of you together, not in bed, but in circumstances that are obvious that you’re in a loving relationship, it’s up to you.”
I said, “Where do we sign?”
It all went smoothly after that, turned up at the Family Division of the High Court in the Strand WC2, they ordered me to pay £XX per month to my ex for her and my two boys, I agreed, end of story, or so I thought.
Eight years later, my inamorata fell for someone else, and it was “Goodnight Vienna.”
Live by the sword, die by the sword, I hollowly told myself, while my insides churned like frozen jelly.
For making me google un coup de foudre! you could have just put 'love at first sight', or some other plain english phrase, and your point would have been the same. And why is it in double quotes rather than single ones too. This is exactly why you will die single and lonely.
Didn't bother googling inamorata. The usage of the word vision however was great.
Edited by hyphen on Tuesday 17th April 14:45
Joey Deacon said:
Didn't think of that, very good point.
Sickening behaviour, it's terrible how for some people a divorce just becomes a money grab. Just goes to prove that you are purely a wallet to her.
Yep.Sickening behaviour, it's terrible how for some people a divorce just becomes a money grab. Just goes to prove that you are purely a wallet to her.
It'll be interesting to see how things unfold over the next few years. If my claim is successful I anticipate she will claim against me based on needs. To make matters even more sickening she seems happy to use our autistic daughter as a crutch for her own inadequacies and is saying things like "you need to support me for the rest of my life because [daughter] will always live with me in adulthood". She got a job last year and could only cope with it for one week citing that her absence from the home made our daughter anxious.
theboss said:
Joey Deacon said:
Didn't think of that, very good point.
Sickening behaviour, it's terrible how for some people a divorce just becomes a money grab. Just goes to prove that you are purely a wallet to her.
Yep.Sickening behaviour, it's terrible how for some people a divorce just becomes a money grab. Just goes to prove that you are purely a wallet to her.
It'll be interesting to see how things unfold over the next few years. If my claim is successful I anticipate she will claim based on needs. To make matters even more sickening she seems happy to use our autistic daughter as a crutch for her own inadequacies and is saying things like "you need to support me for the rest of my life because she will always live with me in adulthood"
As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
Fckitdriveon said:
Oh that would set the alarm bells ringing in my mind as to ‘where’ she is at with the situation......
As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
Quite but she will use and even exaggerate the child's greater-than-normal needs to her own long term benefit despite already receiving DLA and a carer's allowance for a child she only has to deal with during schoolday mornings and bedtimes. The best support she can have when caring for an autistic child is a true support network i.e. another parent and extended family who are all able and willing to provide day-to-day care and support for the rest of her life. Instead what she wants to do is burn every bridge (including making child sex abuse allegations to social services), keep the child close to her and then claim £££££ for having to look after her exclusively, whilst bleating to everyone who will listen about how stressful it is.As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
theboss said:
Fckitdriveon said:
Oh that would set the alarm bells ringing in my mind as to ‘where’ she is at with the situation......
As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
Quite but she will use and even exaggerate the child's greater-than-normal needs to her own long term benefit despite already receiving DLA and a carer's allowance for a child she only has to deal with during schoolday mornings and bedtimes. The best support she can have when caring for an autistic child is a true support network i.e. another parent and extended family who are all able and willing to provide day-to-day care and support for the rest of her life. Instead what she wants to do is burn every bridge (including making child sex abuse allegations to social services), keep the child close to her and then claim £££££ for having to look after her exclusively, whilst bleating to everyone who will listen about how stressful it is.As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
At what point does she have to stand by the things she’s said and actions she’s taken and live those statements and actions?!
Suspect rhetorical ......
You couldn't make this s
t up...hyphen said:
Glad, you deserved it.
For making me google un coup de foudre! you could have just put 'love at first sight', or some other plain english phrase, and your point would have been the same. And why is it in double quotes rather than single ones too. This is exactly why you will die single and lonely.
Didn't bother googling inamorata. The usage of the word vision however was great.
Thanks, (I think), I have a fair chunk of French blood, and a whole slew of French relatives, so I’m used to lapsing into French quite often, pardonnez-moi.For making me google un coup de foudre! you could have just put 'love at first sight', or some other plain english phrase, and your point would have been the same. And why is it in double quotes rather than single ones too. This is exactly why you will die single and lonely.
Didn't bother googling inamorata. The usage of the word vision however was great.
Edited by hyphen on Tuesday 17th April 14:45
Although ‘coup de foudre’, (is it better in single quotes?), can mean love at first sight, it literally means lightning strike, which IMO was a better description of what happened that night, when I first laid eyes on the lady in question.
Inamorata is Italian for female lover, and the crooner Dean Martin had a hit with a song, titled Inamorata, many years ago, and my old Dad often used the word, hence it came into my mind as a better word than girlfriend.
Who knows, maybe I will die single and lonely, but having been happily remarried since 1994, I’m doing my best to forestall that.
Can’t argue that I deserved it, and she was a vision, so I got that right.
Edited by Frank7 on Tuesday 17th April 16:16
theboss said:
Fckitdriveon said:
Oh that would set the alarm bells ringing in my mind as to ‘where’ she is at with the situation......
As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
Quite but she will use and even exaggerate the child's greater-than-normal needs to her own long term benefit despite already receiving DLA and a carer's allowance for a child she only has to deal with during schoolday mornings and bedtimes. The best support she can have when caring for an autistic child is a true support network i.e. another parent and extended family who are all able and willing to provide day-to-day care and support for the rest of her life. Instead what she wants to do is burn every bridge (including making child sex abuse allegations to social services), keep the child close to her and then claim £££££ for having to look after her exclusively, whilst bleating to everyone who will listen about how stressful it is.As far as I m concerned she forgave any support over and above what your child(s) need when she ran off with another fella.
Quite how the court system is so backward in these cases is beyond me.
She had agreed I would divorce her on the grounds of her adultery, I filed the paperwork the next working day at 10am with the court, I find out the next day she had cross petitioned me that afternoon citing my unreasonable behaviour. Double costs for no reason what so ever!
Edited by PAUL500 on Tuesday 17th April 19:51
PAUL500 said:
My ex used exactly the same tactics with my adopted daughters and dragged it all the way to a final hearing ( even quitting her well paid job just before then and then saying she could not cover a mortgage anymore), a number of judges saw through her along the way but she struck lucky with a right old school white knight at the final hearing who fell for her sob story hook line and sinker.
She had agreed I would divorce her on the grounds of her adultery, I filed the paperwork the next working day at 10am with the court, I find out the next day she had cross petitioned me that afternoon citing my unreasonable behaviour. Double costs for no reason what so ever!
I've heard bits of your story before Paul and its sickening.She had agreed I would divorce her on the grounds of her adultery, I filed the paperwork the next working day at 10am with the court, I find out the next day she had cross petitioned me that afternoon citing my unreasonable behaviour. Double costs for no reason what so ever!
Edited by PAUL500 on Tuesday 17th April 19:51
I feel grateful every day that I was actually fairly reckless and never bought a house or accumulated significant capital but rather 'lived for the day' sustaining a young family and stay-at-home partner whilst focusing on keeping necks above the water more than much else. I was 34, had put the 'young children' stage behind me and just started to plough money into pensions and ISAs when the bomb was dropped. I really feel for guys who go through this process at a more advantaged stage of accumulation than I was at.
My ex just sees me as a wallet but thankfully she can only attempt to extract from me what I haven't yet earned.
My life priorities changed when my health suffered, I've also met a new partner from a different county and if the ex actually succeeds in her likely attempts to deprive me of children whilst milking my future income I will drop the nuclear option and just bugger off.
One of my greatest aspirations in the last few years is to send my exceedingly bright 9 year old to a decent independent school as there are some fantastic ones in my area whilst the comprehensives leave an awful lot to be desired. I can only do this if she accepts some sort of compromises on child support from me. Bearing in mind the woman collects a vast number of benefits, drives a leased car I provide and assigns almost every ancillary childcare cost (clothes, shoes, school meals, trips etc) to me which I pay.
My ex actually said to me the other day that our girl would be fine attending the local state school, because in her mind she's already trading my financial commitment to our daughters education for more money in her pocket.
theboss said:
Exactly. I have the prospect of a future compensation settlement for clinical negligence and the first thing my wife said when facing a divorce petition was "I'm not singing anything whilst you are due a payout". Of course she couldn't really dispute the fact that she was living with somebody else so it didn't go anywhere.
The fact that she couldn't have cared less whilst I was in hospital being dealt a disability and was actively using the childcare provided by my family to spend more time with her affair partner rather than visit her hospital-bound spouse doesn't even seem to have come into it. I remember her sitting in the room with me and my consultant discussing my discharge and she was just incessantly talking over me saying "he's not ready to come home yet". Now she smells money and she wants to maximise any entitlement she may realise.
Hmm, reminds me of a late friend who passed 5 years ago. He was in hospital following a heart issue and awaiting a transplant. Whilst he was waiting, his wife moved his best friend into their house. Their son was there during this as well. She then went into the hospital and told him. She didn't visit or allow the son to see his father again. He had a transplant but sadly died during rehabilitation. I will never forget how callous the witch and the best friend were.The fact that she couldn't have cared less whilst I was in hospital being dealt a disability and was actively using the childcare provided by my family to spend more time with her affair partner rather than visit her hospital-bound spouse doesn't even seem to have come into it. I remember her sitting in the room with me and my consultant discussing my discharge and she was just incessantly talking over me saying "he's not ready to come home yet". Now she smells money and she wants to maximise any entitlement she may realise.
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