Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Pat H said:
Isn't that a cross between The Cat in The Hat and a crap mermaid?
Apparently it's a LamiaThe Lamia (1909),[a] a painting by Herbert James Draper
Lamia (/ˈleɪmiə/; Greek: Λάμια), in ancient Greek mythology, was a woman who became a child-eating monster after her children were destroyed by Hera, who learned of her husband Zeus's trysts with her. Hera also afflicted Lamia with sleeplessness so she would anguish constantly, but Zeus gave her the ability to remove her own eyes.
"Lamia" was also used as a bogey word to frighten and discipline children.
In later traditions and storytelling, the lamiai became a type of phantom, synonymous with the empusai which seduced youths to satisfy their sexual appetite and fed on their flesh afterwards. A fabulous biography of Apollonius of Tyana defeating a Lamia seductress has inspired the poem Lamia by Keats.
The lamia has been ascribed serpent-like qualities, which some commentators believe can be firmly traced to mythology from antiquity, and they have found analogues in ancient texts that could be designated as lamiai (or lamiae) which are part-serpent beings. These include the half-woman, half-snake beasts of the "Libyan myth" told by Dio Chrysostom, and the monster sent to Argos by Apollo to avenge Psamathe (Crotopus).
theboss said:
She never once exhibited any of these traits -
the only 'negative' I would tar her with, is that she always seemed to take a lot of good fortune for granted, often berating me for 'working too much' when I was trying to provide the best I could for my family whilst having no appreciation of the relatively good standard of living we achieved as a young family, what with her not having to work. She always seemed to be comparing me to her older middle class friends who were at much later stages in their working lives, when I was in my twenties / early thirties and working flat out. She had a warped lack of perspective and seemed ungrateful to some of my relatives.
Yeah, those things you went on to describe? Those are the traits. the only 'negative' I would tar her with, is that she always seemed to take a lot of good fortune for granted, often berating me for 'working too much' when I was trying to provide the best I could for my family whilst having no appreciation of the relatively good standard of living we achieved as a young family, what with her not having to work. She always seemed to be comparing me to her older middle class friends who were at much later stages in their working lives, when I was in my twenties / early thirties and working flat out. She had a warped lack of perspective and seemed ungrateful to some of my relatives.
All these awful awful women described on here, I'm going to guess are all very very pretty, and probably way out of the league of the men they married and then spurned. However that's probably why they were with these men, those who were in their league saw through them and found nice women in the same league instead.
Always worth remembering, pretty is nice. Nice is nicer...
Ari said:
Yeah, those things you went on to describe? Those are the traits.
All these awful awful women described on here, I'm going to guess are all very very pretty, and probably way out of the league of the men they married and then spurned. However that's probably why they were with these men, those who were in their league saw through them and found nice women in the same league instead.
Always worth remembering, pretty is nice. Nice is nicer...
They were traits which only became evident after many years - we both have fairly impoverished working-class roots and she used to be down to earth. In time she just seemed to start taking our position for granted. She never appreciated the fact that I was fortunate career-wise, just assumed it was completely normal and her expectations became higher and higher over time. I never had her down as a deeply unpleasant individual, just a bit naive in failing to appreciate that most people would give an arm and a leg for the comfortable non-working lifestyle she enjoyed when we were both relatively young. I always told her that it would pay off in the future, we had our kids young and would enjoy prosperity and time together in our later years. In reality she couldn't wait hence going off with a much more 'established' older guy.All these awful awful women described on here, I'm going to guess are all very very pretty, and probably way out of the league of the men they married and then spurned. However that's probably why they were with these men, those who were in their league saw through them and found nice women in the same league instead.
Always worth remembering, pretty is nice. Nice is nicer...
You couldn't be further from the truth with the presumption that we were in different 'leagues' - do you mean in terms of looks only? She's not that much of a looker (not that I am either) but at the age of 39 ashe's with somebody who is 14 years her senior and resembles a 60 year old overweight pisshead who could easily be our children's grandfather. People who have seen pictures of them together have generally laughed in disbelief and said "she left you for that?". In contrast I've had relationships with younger much more attractive women. If anything I am punching above my weight now in contrast to my former marriage. They have been much 'nicer' too - nice and pretty are certainly not mutually exclusive.
In terms of economic prospects we are definitely leagues apart but not in the way you might think - she's now living on benefits, her affair partner is a cowboy who does nothing to support his three children and folds his limited every time the taxman comes knocking whilst I'm in a stable City-based consultancy contract earning several times their likely combined incomes.
The notion that she was ever 'out of my league' is completely at odds with the relationship and financial positions she has traded.
Maybe he just has a freakishly large cock. Who knows.
Edited by theboss on Wednesday 18th April 16:08
theboss said:
Ari said:
Yeah, those things you went on to describe? Those are the traits.
All these awful awful women described on here, I'm going to guess are all very very pretty, and probably way out of the league of the men they married and then spurned. However that's probably why they were with these men, those who were in their league saw through them and found nice women in the same league instead.
Always worth remembering, pretty is nice. Nice is nicer...
Maybe he just has a freakishly large cock. Who knows.All these awful awful women described on here, I'm going to guess are all very very pretty, and probably way out of the league of the men they married and then spurned. However that's probably why they were with these men, those who were in their league saw through them and found nice women in the same league instead.
Always worth remembering, pretty is nice. Nice is nicer...
desolate said:
Pat H said:
Isn't that a cross between The Cat in The Hat and a crap mermaid?
Apparently it's a LamiaThe Lamia (1909),[a] a painting by Herbert James Draper
Lamia (/?le?mi?/; Greek: ?????), in ancient Greek mythology, was a woman who became a child-eating monster after her children were destroyed by Hera, who learned of her husband Zeus's trysts with her. Hera also afflicted Lamia with sleeplessness so she would anguish constantly, but Zeus gave her the ability to remove her own eyes.
"Lamia" was also used as a bogey word to frighten and discipline children.
In later traditions and storytelling, the lamiai became a type of phantom, synonymous with the empusai which seduced youths to satisfy their sexual appetite and fed on their flesh afterwards. A fabulous biography of Apollonius of Tyana defeating a Lamia seductress has inspired the poem Lamia by Keats.
The lamia has been ascribed serpent-like qualities, which some commentators believe can be firmly traced to mythology from antiquity, and they have found analogues in ancient texts that could be designated as lamiai (or lamiae) which are part-serpent beings. These include the half-woman, half-snake beasts of the "Libyan myth" told by Dio Chrysostom, and the monster sent to Argos by Apollo to avenge Psamathe (Crotopus).
Have to say that she doesn’t look much fun in bed.
People should not be getting sent to prison by the family courts, at the end of the day it is an emotional but commercial process, and should be dealt with that way, not treating the often unwilling participants as criminals.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5630683/Se...
As well as being given a business she wanted the poor old boy to tell her how to run it! so she clearly had nothing to do with it beforehand.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5630683/Se...
As well as being given a business she wanted the poor old boy to tell her how to run it! so she clearly had nothing to do with it beforehand.
Got an earful this morning via text asking why i had cut the TV and internet service to the house. I told her that it is a luxury and not a priority and that i needed to recoup my outgoings to go on essential bills like water/gas/electric as they will be outstanding when she moves out with our boys but then the kids were brought into it stating it is for them and not her.....
Her response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong
Genuinely cannot face her any more.
Her response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong
Genuinely cannot face her any more. Mark Benson said:
My guess is that this is her justifying the split to herself. As hard as it is, you just have to let this stuff go and get on with life.
Yeah i am starting to get that. It's almost as if she is using anything as justification for leaving and running around with another bloke but when i call her out on it she gets all defensive. She is apparently "very happy!" but i just told her to enjoy the next mug that comes along and fill your boots. Applied for another job via transfer in Wiltshire so pending an interview and if it goes well, i will be back down there starting all over again.
Frank7 said:
When my first wife and I divorced, all totally my fault, I’d walked into a bar, saw this vision, and was struck by “un coup de foudre.”
I rented an apartment, and the vision moved in with me, swiftly followed by my wife starting divorce proceedings.
One evening the buzzer rang, and a guy stood there, he said, “I work for the solicitor who’s handling this for your wife, it will all go smoother and quicker, if you both agree to sign a statement that you have committed adultery with the co-respondent, if you don’t, it means that we’ll employ an investigator, who’ll follow you around, getting photos of the two of you together, not in bed, but in circumstances that are obvious that you’re in a loving relationship, it’s up to you.”
I said, “Where do we sign?”
It all went smoothly after that, turned up at the Family Division of the High Court in the Strand WC2, they ordered me to pay £XX per month to my ex for her and my two boys, I agreed, end of story, or so I thought.
Eight years later, my inamorata fell for someone else, and it was “Goodnight Vienna.”
Live by the sword, die by the sword, I hollowly told myself, while my insides churned like frozen jelly.
Just wanted to say that you write beautifully. I rented an apartment, and the vision moved in with me, swiftly followed by my wife starting divorce proceedings.
One evening the buzzer rang, and a guy stood there, he said, “I work for the solicitor who’s handling this for your wife, it will all go smoother and quicker, if you both agree to sign a statement that you have committed adultery with the co-respondent, if you don’t, it means that we’ll employ an investigator, who’ll follow you around, getting photos of the two of you together, not in bed, but in circumstances that are obvious that you’re in a loving relationship, it’s up to you.”
I said, “Where do we sign?”
It all went smoothly after that, turned up at the Family Division of the High Court in the Strand WC2, they ordered me to pay £XX per month to my ex for her and my two boys, I agreed, end of story, or so I thought.
Eight years later, my inamorata fell for someone else, and it was “Goodnight Vienna.”
Live by the sword, die by the sword, I hollowly told myself, while my insides churned like frozen jelly.
Edited by SpeckledJim on Thursday 19th April 14:12
Stratton oakmont said:
Got an earful this morning via text asking why i had cut the TV and internet service to the house. I told her that it is a luxury and not a priority and that i needed to recoup my outgoings to go on essential bills like water/gas/electric as they will be outstanding when she moves out with our boys but then the kids were brought into it stating it is for them and not her.....
Her response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong Genuinely cannot face her any more.
I got an earful by text earlier today too! She messaged me happy birthday and all the usual platitudes (first time that we have spoken in ages since I have finally sorted all my post redirection out - useless I am) and then she asked if I would go round to the house and and swap a couple of light fittings out for her as a favour, the cheeky bHer response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong
Genuinely cannot face her any more. 
h 
"Why can't your new partner do it?"
She went fuuuuuuucking mental, how dare I ask such things? What is it to me? None of my business why he can't/won't/whatever! I'm just jealous that she's happy and I'm a bitter man.
And here I was thinking that we called it a day on reasonable (all things considered) terms!
Edited by FN2TypeR on Thursday 19th April 14:01
FN2TypeR said:
Stratton oakmont said:
Got an earful this morning via text asking why i had cut the TV and internet service to the house. I told her that it is a luxury and not a priority and that i needed to recoup my outgoings to go on essential bills like water/gas/electric as they will be outstanding when she moves out with our boys but then the kids were brought into it stating it is for them and not her.....
Her response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong Genuinely cannot face her any more.
I got an earful by text earlier today too! She messaged me happy birthday and all the usual platitudes (first time that we have spoken in ages since I have finally sorted all my post redirection out - useless I am) and then she asked if I would go round to the house and and swap a couple of light fittings out for her as a favour, the cheeky bHer response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong
Genuinely cannot face her any more. h "Why can't your new partner do it?"
She went fuuuuuuucking mental, how dare I ask such things? What is it to me? None of my business why he can't/won't/whatever! I'm just jealous that she's happy and I'm a bitter man.
And here I was thinking that we called it a day on reasonable (all things considered) terms!
Edited by FN2TypeR on Thursday 19th April 14:01
If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
Vincefox said:
"Sorry, but I'm not free for the near future, Got a lot on, etc."
If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
No kids; clean break. Which is why the "discussion" happening at all is a surprise, we have only really communicated as I was too useless to sort all of my post out (along with some gig tickets for which Seetickets wouldn't change the delivery address) and that was amicable enough, but at my first refusal to do something for her, kaaaabooooooooom.If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
Number blocked, if she wants anything she can do a crazy cat lady and stand in my front garden whilst ranting. I've got my gig tickets so if anything else turns up she can throw it in the bin for all I care.
Come to think of it she won't know where I am living. Result.
FN2TypeR said:
Stratton oakmont said:
Got an earful this morning via text asking why i had cut the TV and internet service to the house. I told her that it is a luxury and not a priority and that i needed to recoup my outgoings to go on essential bills like water/gas/electric as they will be outstanding when she moves out with our boys but then the kids were brought into it stating it is for them and not her.....
Her response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong Genuinely cannot face her any more.
I got an earful by text earlier today too! She messaged me happy birthday and all the usual platitudes (first time that we have spoken in ages since I have finally sorted all my post redirection out - useless I am) and then she asked if I would go round to the house and and swap a couple of light fittings out for her as a favour, the cheeky bHer response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong
Genuinely cannot face her any more. h "Why can't your new partner do it?"
She went fuuuuuuucking mental, how dare I ask such things? What is it to me? None of my business why he can't/won't/whatever! I'm just jealous that she's happy and I'm a bitter man.
And here I was thinking that we called it a day on reasonable (all things considered) terms!
Edited by FN2TypeR on Thursday 19th April 14:01
Laugh it off, firm in the knowledge you are infact well rid!
Before long the late night texts about it not being so bad and she misses you will start......unblock her number just for that, those are always entertaining . : )
Fckitdriveon said:
FN2TypeR said:
Stratton oakmont said:
Got an earful this morning via text asking why i had cut the TV and internet service to the house. I told her that it is a luxury and not a priority and that i needed to recoup my outgoings to go on essential bills like water/gas/electric as they will be outstanding when she moves out with our boys but then the kids were brought into it stating it is for them and not her.....
Her response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong Genuinely cannot face her any more.
I got an earful by text earlier today too! She messaged me happy birthday and all the usual platitudes (first time that we have spoken in ages since I have finally sorted all my post redirection out - useless I am) and then she asked if I would go round to the house and and swap a couple of light fittings out for her as a favour, the cheeky bHer response was "and this is why i wanted out. No regrets!"
Unreal. Her priorities are all wrong
Genuinely cannot face her any more. h "Why can't your new partner do it?"
She went fuuuuuuucking mental, how dare I ask such things? What is it to me? None of my business why he can't/won't/whatever! I'm just jealous that she's happy and I'm a bitter man.
And here I was thinking that we called it a day on reasonable (all things considered) terms!
Edited by FN2TypeR on Thursday 19th April 14:01
Laugh it off, firm in the knowledge you are infact well rid!
Before long the late night texts about it not being so bad and she misses you will start......unblock her number just for that, those are always entertaining . : )
Stay strong...I’m still in the midst of my very acrimonious divorce, and just can’t wait to have her out of my life once this is over. Good days and bad days...
Jayzee said:
I could quote 100% of the stuff on this thread regarding what she said or did to me. It seems it’s bloody textbook, as if there’s some sort of manual they refer to.
Stay strong...I’m still in the midst of my very acrimonious divorce, and just can’t wait to have her out of my life once this is over. Good days and bad days...
Quite agree, it's as if they've got hold of a DIY book giving precise details on how they should act - I don't suppose Mumsnet has anything to do with it ??Stay strong...I’m still in the midst of my very acrimonious divorce, and just can’t wait to have her out of my life once this is over. Good days and bad days...
In any event, the standard reaction from the guy is.....
Be polite
Smile a lot
Appear very happy (even if you're not)
Wish her well.....
That always annoys them 😆
Vincefox said:
"Sorry, but I'm not free for the near future, Got a lot on, etc."
If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
If the settlement is sorted and you don't have kids there is no need to communicate, My ex berated me for not sending her child a birthday card and present after we split and the kid was in floods of tears. "Child" was 22 at the time.If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
Vandenberg said:
Vincefox said:
"Sorry, but I'm not free for the near future, Got a lot on, etc."
If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
If the settlement is sorted and you don't have kids there is no need to communicate, My ex berated me for not sending her child a birthday card and present after we split and the kid was in floods of tears. "Child" was 22 at the time.If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
Ilovejapcrap said:
Vandenberg said:
Vincefox said:
"Sorry, but I'm not free for the near future, Got a lot on, etc."
If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
If the settlement is sorted and you don't have kids there is no need to communicate, My ex berated me for not sending her child a birthday card and present after we split and the kid was in floods of tears. "Child" was 22 at the time.If you haven't got kids, it's rule of 3: first no is polite, friendly. Second one is objective and formal. Third one doesn't exist, it's your cue to stop communicating.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff