Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
cootuk said:
hyphen said:
A perfect example of why some hold out for the whole five years.
Could there be a more blatant declaration of being a money grabbing b
h? How does this snake even get airtime?trackdemon said:
cootuk said:
hyphen said:
A perfect example of why some hold out for the whole five years.Could there be a more blatant declaration of being a money grabbing b
h? How does this snake even get airtime?The guy killed was a father of three, she’d left the marriage learning he’d had an affair, all she’s trying to do now is get a big payout from the insurer of the pissed up driver.
Unless the guy killed had a fat life assurance policy paying into a trust for his kids I’d say she is justified in pursuing something for their sakes...
Let’s put it this way... if I were killed unexpectedly tomorrow in similar circumstances and looking down from a cloud... I wouldn’t begrudge my witch ex anything she could get her hands on if I thought it would ultimately enrich my children’s lives
CharlesdeGaulle said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
It's despicable behaviour that demonstrates a complete lack of dignity and self-respect. 'Free' money is at the heart of so much that is wrong about much of our society. But I hope the kids manage to make a successful claim.
PAUL500 said:
zygalski said:
Reading most of the responses on here makes me think that the women involved are better off out of relationships with you blokes.
Most of you seem utterly mystified as to why your relationships broke down with your 'snake with tits' ex.
It's all their fault eh? bks.
This is a thread about the results of a split, giving actual accounts of what can and does on occasion happen. Its an open debate, those that have had a positive outcome also have the chance to post.Most of you seem utterly mystified as to why your relationships broke down with your 'snake with tits' ex.
It's all their fault eh? b
ks.Human nature is such that those who have had a raw deal need to vent more than those that had a satisfactory ending, so the posts will always be head mainly in that direction.
The over riding evidence though is that if you go through the courts, the man is virtually always on the back foot, and when kids are added into the mix they are used as tools against the dad.
Furthermore hard evidence presented by a man in court is swept to one side, and claims by the woman (with little to any evidence to support) are accepted as facts by the courts. There are enough of us on this thread to confirm such.
No one is saying all woman take such avenues in a separation, this thread just gives advice as to the probable end results when they do.
In my case I warned judge after judge in writing and with evidence what my ex wife would do in relation to my two adopted daughters, which she denied in writing to the court that she would ever do. Post the financial order, where she got everything she asked for and more (72/28 split of assets in her favour), and despite yet another case after that, when the judge further ignored me, 6 weeks later she put my first daughter (12) into care, (just weeks after the house was sold and she had pocketed her ill gotten gains). Now a year later my youngest (11) told me on our Friday contact my ex has told her she no longer wants my other daughter to be living with her either and she is going to end the same, my daughter has also told her social worker this so I am waiting to here from them next)
I thought I was done with courts after over 25 hearings related to all this, seems we are heading back yet again!
PAUL500 said:
This is a thread about the results of a split, giving actual accounts of what can and does on occasion happen. Its an open debate, those that have had a positive outcome also have the chance to post.
Human nature is such that those who have had a raw deal need to vent more than those that had a satisfactory ending, so the posts will always be head mainly in that direction.
The over riding evidence though is that if you go through the courts, the man is virtually always on the back foot, and when kids are added into the mix they are used as tools against the dad.
Furthermore hard evidence presented by a man in court is swept to one side, and claims by the woman (with little to any evidence to support) are accepted as facts by the courts. There are enough of us on this thread to confirm such.
No one is saying all woman take such avenues in a separation, this thread just gives advice as to the probable end results when they do.
In my case I warned judge after judge in writing and with evidence what my ex wife would do in relation to my two adopted daughters, which she denied in writing to the court that she would ever do. Post the financial order, where she got everything she asked for and more (72/28 split of assets in her favour), and despite yet another case after that, when the judge further ignored me, 6 weeks later she put my first daughter (12) into care, (just weeks after the house was sold and she had pocketed her ill gotten gains). Now a year later my youngest (11) told me on our Friday contact my ex has told her she no longer wants my other daughter to be living with her either and she is going to end the same, my daughter has also told her social worker this so I am waiting to here from them next)
I thought I was done with courts after over 25 hearings related to all this, seems we are heading back yet again!
Good points in there. Perhaps someone might like to post it on Mumsnet and get their reaction !!Human nature is such that those who have had a raw deal need to vent more than those that had a satisfactory ending, so the posts will always be head mainly in that direction.
The over riding evidence though is that if you go through the courts, the man is virtually always on the back foot, and when kids are added into the mix they are used as tools against the dad.
Furthermore hard evidence presented by a man in court is swept to one side, and claims by the woman (with little to any evidence to support) are accepted as facts by the courts. There are enough of us on this thread to confirm such.
No one is saying all woman take such avenues in a separation, this thread just gives advice as to the probable end results when they do.
In my case I warned judge after judge in writing and with evidence what my ex wife would do in relation to my two adopted daughters, which she denied in writing to the court that she would ever do. Post the financial order, where she got everything she asked for and more (72/28 split of assets in her favour), and despite yet another case after that, when the judge further ignored me, 6 weeks later she put my first daughter (12) into care, (just weeks after the house was sold and she had pocketed her ill gotten gains). Now a year later my youngest (11) told me on our Friday contact my ex has told her she no longer wants my other daughter to be living with her either and she is going to end the same, my daughter has also told her social worker this so I am waiting to here from them next)
I thought I was done with courts after over 25 hearings related to all this, seems we are heading back yet again!
.
theboss said:
Paul, I don’t doubt you’re doing everything possible, but how come the ex calls on the shots on the adopted children to the extent that she can pass them into social care without your intervention? This is so destructive to them and I’m just left astounded that she’s able to do so, especially when your very unequal settlement was made to reflect the fact that she was supposed to be responsible for them.
It would be a very long reply if I went into detail but basically my girls developed special needs over time as a result of their very early pre adoption lives, my ex used this to her advantage in court and deceived the courts and social services regarding their long term homing, until such time as the family home was sold. After that she then put her plan into effect.As you can see from the asset split, the judge made no plan b with regards there future homing other than with my ex, even though I warned him what was going to happen, there was enough in the kity under a 50/50 split for each of us at the time to buy a suitable home for them to live in.
Social services went to court to get care orders on both the girls when my ex told them she no longer wanted the eldest to live at home, they placed the eldest in residential care at my exes request, they said I was unable to home and deal with her needs (even though at first I was willing to give it a go regardless) and they left the youngest with my ex whilst being monitored. It seems that has now also broken down.
I bought a plot of land to build another home in time with my little share and I rent a one bed flat, not the place to bring up a child with needs. My ex refused to release the extra money she was given by the courts back to me to home my eldest at the time of the care orders, and no doubt will do the same again now with the youngest.
Her plan all along was to dump the girls at the earliest opportunity and swan off with the lions share of the assets, but no responsibilities.
Karma will catch up with her sooner or later though, never in a million years did I think the woman I married would turn into the person she now is.
The child psychologist appointed by the court to write a report at the time of the care orders stated that my ex was fueled by rancour and resentment, they were spot on.
Edited by PAUL500 on Wednesday 25th April 22:57
Im assuming there is nothing you can do about taking her to court and getting a fair share back with a view to rehome your girls?
Failing that I would be dragging the people that were warned originally (assuming you have the evidence of doing so) and claim they were negligent in their original outcome and get compensation from the court system to get you on track to getting the home you need to house them?
Or the papers and sully everyone who was involved in such a massive balls up, that has left a father without his kids, the Ex with most of the assets and 2 kids back in the care of the system.
Failing that I would be dragging the people that were warned originally (assuming you have the evidence of doing so) and claim they were negligent in their original outcome and get compensation from the court system to get you on track to getting the home you need to house them?
Or the papers and sully everyone who was involved in such a massive balls up, that has left a father without his kids, the Ex with most of the assets and 2 kids back in the care of the system.
Du1point8 said:
Im assuming there is nothing you can do about taking her to court and getting a fair share back with a view to rehome your girls?
Failing that I would be dragging the people that were warned originally (assuming you have the evidence of doing so) and claim they were negligent in their original outcome and get compensation from the court system to get you on track to getting the home you need to house them?
Or the papers and sully everyone who was involved in such a massive balls up, that has left a father without his kids, the Ex with most of the assets and 2 kids back in the care of the system.
That is exactly what I did when she first tried to put my eldest into care, as soon as the ex realised the courts granted me a hearing she backtracked and told social services she was now going to keep my daughter, as a result SS dropped their support to me homing her like a hot potato, the hearing was already arranged so I had to go, but as my daughters were still with the ex the judge would not alter the order and said even if the eldest went into care my ex still had the youngest to home, so again he would not alter the order anyway. As soon as the ex knew that she started the process yet again with social services and I was powerless to do anything about it.Failing that I would be dragging the people that were warned originally (assuming you have the evidence of doing so) and claim they were negligent in their original outcome and get compensation from the court system to get you on track to getting the home you need to house them?
Or the papers and sully everyone who was involved in such a massive balls up, that has left a father without his kids, the Ex with most of the assets and 2 kids back in the care of the system.
The judge also made me pay her legal costs for that hearing! another £4k wasted due to her further lies and deceit.
Also the judge said time was against me anyway as the initial financial order was made in 2014, so by her waiting another year before now planning to dump my youngest I would have to go to the appeal courts. I simply don't have the funds to finance, and probably lose such a case and have to then pay her costs yet again.
Edited by PAUL500 on Thursday 26th April 09:00
PAUL500 said:
It would be a very long reply if I went into detail but basically my girls developed special needs over time as a result of their very early pre adoption lives, my ex used this to her advantage in court and deceived the courts and social services regarding their long term homing, until such time as the family home was sold. After that she then put her plan into effect.
As you can see from the asset split, the judge made no plan b with regards there future homing other than with my ex, even though I warned him what was going to happen, there was enough in the kity under a 50/50 split for each of us at the time to buy a suitable home for them to live in.
Social services went to court to get care orders on both the girls when my ex told them she no longer wanted the eldest to live at home, they placed the eldest in residential care at my exes request, they said I was unable to home and deal with her needs (even though at first I was willing to give it a go regardless) and they left the youngest with my ex whilst being monitored. It seems that has now also broken down.
I bought a plot of land to build another home in time with my little share and I rent a one bed flat, not the place to bring up a child with needs. My ex refused to release the extra money she was given by the courts back to me to home my eldest at the time of the care orders, and no doubt will do the same again now with the youngest.
Her plan all along was to dump the girls at the earliest opportunity and swan off with the lions share of the assets, but no responsibilities.
Karma will catch up with her sooner or later though, never in a million years did I think the woman I married would turn into the person she now is.
The child psychologist appointed by the court to write a report at the time of the care orders stated that my ex was fueled by rancour and resentment, they were spot on.
I would be going to the press. This is shocking.As you can see from the asset split, the judge made no plan b with regards there future homing other than with my ex, even though I warned him what was going to happen, there was enough in the kity under a 50/50 split for each of us at the time to buy a suitable home for them to live in.
Social services went to court to get care orders on both the girls when my ex told them she no longer wanted the eldest to live at home, they placed the eldest in residential care at my exes request, they said I was unable to home and deal with her needs (even though at first I was willing to give it a go regardless) and they left the youngest with my ex whilst being monitored. It seems that has now also broken down.
I bought a plot of land to build another home in time with my little share and I rent a one bed flat, not the place to bring up a child with needs. My ex refused to release the extra money she was given by the courts back to me to home my eldest at the time of the care orders, and no doubt will do the same again now with the youngest.
Her plan all along was to dump the girls at the earliest opportunity and swan off with the lions share of the assets, but no responsibilities.
Karma will catch up with her sooner or later though, never in a million years did I think the woman I married would turn into the person she now is.
The child psychologist appointed by the court to write a report at the time of the care orders stated that my ex was fueled by rancour and resentment, they were spot on.
Edited by PAUL500 on Wednesday 25th April 22:57
I was thinking the same with regards to the press.
Absolutely shocking.
My ex - for all her sins - tried working in children's residential care homes last year and despite taking all the training head-on and seeming fairly well prepared for it, couldn't cope with the reality of the working environment after just days. I think she lasted a week. Just based on her own brief first-hand experience I gained a disturbing insight into this world and the thought of my own beloved being placed in the care of the state really is a worst nightmare.
Are you allowed to maintain contact with the girls?
I hope that, even in a worst case where you are unable to change anything or maintain contact, you can still be there for them in some way and rebuild relationships when they are old enough to do so independently.
Your own determination to stand up for their best interests is commendable and the fact that even dozens of court hearings and many thousands of your pounds has amounted to a futile effort, is a damning indictment of the whole system.
Absolutely shocking.
My ex - for all her sins - tried working in children's residential care homes last year and despite taking all the training head-on and seeming fairly well prepared for it, couldn't cope with the reality of the working environment after just days. I think she lasted a week. Just based on her own brief first-hand experience I gained a disturbing insight into this world and the thought of my own beloved being placed in the care of the state really is a worst nightmare.
Are you allowed to maintain contact with the girls?
I hope that, even in a worst case where you are unable to change anything or maintain contact, you can still be there for them in some way and rebuild relationships when they are old enough to do so independently.
Your own determination to stand up for their best interests is commendable and the fact that even dozens of court hearings and many thousands of your pounds has amounted to a futile effort, is a damning indictment of the whole system.
Harry Flashman said:
I would be going to the press. This is shocking.
Really sad thing is it's not shocking. It might me an edge case, but the underlying bias is evident with almost every story you read.Not sure the press would help. Second opinion from another lawyer maybe, crowdfunding to get the means to appeal, complaint to the DoJ maybe. Daily Mail sadface will just harden attitudes.
Tonkers spot on, you try to fight your corner, but its like shoveling dry sand out of a pit on the beach, you are never going to win.
My daughters have care orders on them, and being minors they cannot be identified by the press etc, so by exposing the ex in the papers I would also no doubt be deemed to be exposing them too.
Its been a week now since my youngest daughter told her social worker and me that my ex no longer wants her living there. I have not heard a peep from them yet, which is the norm, however once they finally get there act together then I am expected to attend meetings the next day etc.
I need to cool my heels and see how this latest scenario plays out, all the time knowing that poor 11 yr old mite with enough baggage already, is also fully aware she is not welcome in her own home.
I have my weekly contact with her again on Friday so she may be able to update me.
Court hearings take months to arrange and the goalposts are often moved during that time to make your case less watertight, that is what happened last time, I went into it knowing I had lost already.
I appreciate all the sentiment gents, I really do, as I often doubt myself and keep thinking there must be something more I can do.
My daughters have care orders on them, and being minors they cannot be identified by the press etc, so by exposing the ex in the papers I would also no doubt be deemed to be exposing them too.
Its been a week now since my youngest daughter told her social worker and me that my ex no longer wants her living there. I have not heard a peep from them yet, which is the norm, however once they finally get there act together then I am expected to attend meetings the next day etc.
I need to cool my heels and see how this latest scenario plays out, all the time knowing that poor 11 yr old mite with enough baggage already, is also fully aware she is not welcome in her own home.
I have my weekly contact with her again on Friday so she may be able to update me.
Court hearings take months to arrange and the goalposts are often moved during that time to make your case less watertight, that is what happened last time, I went into it knowing I had lost already.
I appreciate all the sentiment gents, I really do, as I often doubt myself and keep thinking there must be something more I can do.
Edited by PAUL500 on Thursday 26th April 16:46
zygalski said:
Reading most of the responses on here makes me think that the women involved are better off out of relationships with you blokes.
Most of you seem utterly mystified as to why your relationships broke down with your 'snake with tits' ex.
It's all their fault eh? bks.
In my case my relationship broke down because i did exactly what we agreed we would be doing for the first 5 years together and after that started to do exactly what we had agreed we would do for our next 5 year plan (Uncle Joe did have some good ideas and having a basic 5, 10 and 15 year plan for you life isn't a bad one).Most of you seem utterly mystified as to why your relationships broke down with your 'snake with tits' ex.
It's all their fault eh? b
ks.Problem was that she didn't like that i was working so much to ensure that she and her children (and I) had the big house and nice life with all the School Trips and the like and were set down a solid foundation that would have meant that we would have been mortgage free in a house most people only get to dream of owning by 45, retired by 60 at the latest, etc.
Yes i was at fault as i should have realised that she was lonely and we should have changed track but by the time that it became obvious all was not well it was too late. I have no idea if she was sleeping with the bloke that she is now married to before it was ended but I know for certain that I gave it a month or more after the "Yes, this really is the end" chat before I started to take up any offers i received.
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