Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Interesting. Thanks.
When we bought the house, we had to do some guarantees based on what we were putting into it. She put in five times the deposit I did. Therefore, if the house was ever sold, she was guaranteed her money back, then the rest is split 50/50.
Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
When we bought the house, we had to do some guarantees based on what we were putting into it. She put in five times the deposit I did. Therefore, if the house was ever sold, she was guaranteed her money back, then the rest is split 50/50.
Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
funkyrobot said:
Interesting.
Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
Surely alarm bells should have been ringing at that point??? Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
If she had done the payment guarantees I would have required those same guarantees to be applied to me for those FOUR YEARS. It's not like it was for a couple of months..................
funkyrobot said:
Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
If the child is yours then it's not worth putting that forward as a cause for adjustment.xjay1337 said:
funkyrobot said:
Interesting.
Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
Surely alarm bells should have been ringing at that point??? Thing is though, I worked for four years whilst she was a stay at home mum. So I paid for everything for those four years. She didn't want to adjust the payment out guarantees though. Funny that.
If she had done the payment guarantees I would have required those same guarantees to be applied to me for those FOUR YEARS. It's not like it was for a couple of months..................
Too late now. What is done is done.
And to think she still accuses me of wanting her money.
I had a good chat to my mum about things last night (my wife disappeared until the early hours of this morning). She can't believe my wife would act like she has. I told her everything. Basically said I'd been a punch bag and things are only uglier now because I've had enough.
She said I can move back to their house for a bit. So that's accommodation sorted. Luckily, they have a big house so can accommodate my daughter for the moment too if needed.
Job hunting starts on Wednesday when my daughter is back at school.
funkyrobot said:
Well, as has been proven, I've been far too nice.
Too late now. What is done is done.
And to think she still accuses me of wanting her money.
I had a good chat to my mum about things last night (my wife disappeared until the early hours of this morning). She can't believe my wife would act like she has. I told her everything. Basically said I'd been a punch bag and things are only uglier now because I've had enough.
She said I can move back to their house for a bit. So that's accommodation sorted. Luckily, they have a big house so can accommodate my daughter for the moment too if needed.
Job hunting starts on Wednesday when my daughter is back at school.
You should be seeing a solicitor as soon as possible. It’s usually difficult to ring fence money in marriages especially if they’re longer than five years.Too late now. What is done is done.
And to think she still accuses me of wanting her money.
I had a good chat to my mum about things last night (my wife disappeared until the early hours of this morning). She can't believe my wife would act like she has. I told her everything. Basically said I'd been a punch bag and things are only uglier now because I've had enough.
She said I can move back to their house for a bit. So that's accommodation sorted. Luckily, they have a big house so can accommodate my daughter for the moment too if needed.
Job hunting starts on Wednesday when my daughter is back at school.
Also moving out back to your parents now is such a bad move. Her disappearing till the small hours sounds like she’s got a shoulder to cry on.
How would you feel if he started to stay over in the house you’re paying for?
We've been through this FR.
Do NOT move out (yet).
Sort your job out
Take care of your children
Keep a record of everything. Especially when your wife has been out till late, leaving with alone with your Daughter.
GET TO A SOLICITOR AND DO IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
Please do not make any rash judgements or decisions (IE MOVING OUT).
Do NOT move out (yet).
Sort your job out
Take care of your children
Keep a record of everything. Especially when your wife has been out till late, leaving with alone with your Daughter.
GET TO A SOLICITOR AND DO IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
Please do not make any rash judgements or decisions (IE MOVING OUT).
hyphen said:
OP, your wife could change her mind about house, take your daughter in, and then be looked at favorably when splitting the money.
Don't move out!
Have the divorce papers been filed? It takes a while for a decree nisi to be made depending on court backlog, so get it moving.
Sorry, wasn't clear. I'm not moving out until house is sold.Don't move out!
Have the divorce papers been filed? It takes a while for a decree nisi to be made depending on court backlog, so get it moving.
I will be seeing a solicitor and getting things moving next week when my daughter is back at school.
Alltrack said:
You should be seeing a solicitor as soon as possible. It’s usually difficult to ring fence money in marriages especially if they’re longer than five years.
Also moving out back to your parents now is such a bad move. Her disappearing till the small hours sounds like she’s got a shoulder to cry on.
How would you feel if he started to stay over in the house you’re paying for?
Not moving out until house sold. Also moving out back to your parents now is such a bad move. Her disappearing till the small hours sounds like she’s got a shoulder to cry on.
How would you feel if he started to stay over in the house you’re paying for?
Solicitor next week.
We've only been married a few years. Less than five.
xjay1337 said:
We've been through this FR.
Do NOT move out (yet).
Sort your job out
Take care of your children
Keep a record of everything. Especially when your wife has been out till late, leaving with alone with your Daughter.
GET TO A SOLICITOR AND DO IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
Please do not make any rash judgements or decisions (IE MOVING OUT).
Not happening yet. Don't worry. Do NOT move out (yet).
Sort your job out
Take care of your children
Keep a record of everything. Especially when your wife has been out till late, leaving with alone with your Daughter.
GET TO A SOLICITOR AND DO IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
Please do not make any rash judgements or decisions (IE MOVING OUT).
Alltrack said:
funkyrobot said:
I understand the financial responsibility. In terms of our daughter, being here makes sense due to school runs and child care etc. My work is also less than a mile away.
Interestingly, in relation to the bills, if I wasn't around to sort them and her out, nothing would be being sorted or paid.
Please don’t move out till you’ve finalised the house sale and access to your kid.Interestingly, in relation to the bills, if I wasn't around to sort them and her out, nothing would be being sorted or paid.
If you leave her in the house, she’s got everything she wants and could stall for months with you paying the mortgage and her claiming single person tax credits.
If I was advising her that’s what I would be telling her to do.
Edited by Alltrack on Saturday 31st August 08:48
Not ideal but as i said, it has to start somewhere and moving out is step one.
Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt.
I don't know if it's been mentioned, or if it's too late, but get as much documentary evidence as you can about her own independent wealth. Bank accounts and the like. Statements are obviously best, but even just the name of the bank and/or account number can be useful if it ends up in court. The courts don't take too kindly to perjury if she tries to squirrel it away.
You can sometimes get some details from your joint account if she's been transferring money in or (as in the case of my ex) out.
You can sometimes get some details from your joint account if she's been transferring money in or (as in the case of my ex) out.
Interesting turn of events today. My wife is working and some of her family are here. She asked our daughter if she wanted to go and spend the day with them (without me, for some reason). Our daughter said no, she wants to stay at home with me.
Cue a really p*ssed off wife kicking off as she left the house for work.
No doubt I'll be in trouble again later.
Cue a really p*ssed off wife kicking off as she left the house for work.
No doubt I'll be in trouble again later.
MYOB said:
And that's why some of us think it may be wise to move out. It's not fair on your daughter to be exposed to the arguments.
There was no argument. Just my wife getting annoyed.I'm not moving out until things are sorted.
I'm maintaining my decency and being calm and civil. It's not my fault my wife can't control herself.
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