Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[Dashnine]

Algarve said:

CaptainSlow said:

Back onto inheritances.

If an inheritance is received during a marriage it is initially treated as a non-marital asset and not included in the split calculation. However, if the inheritance is integrated into the marital assets then it does get included.

If an inheritance is expected but not yet received at the point of divorce it does not get considered in the split agreement.

Good luck telling your wife you're keeping your inheritance in a ring fenced savings account of your own in case you split up later

We have a number of savings accounts for different purposes (House, Holidays, Christmas, etc.) and though convenience when setting them up some are personal accounts in my name. Any money in those accounts is technically mine, so as long as your inheritance doesn't touch a shared account on the way in you should be OK. Then it's available for a 'rainy day' for the family, but still 'yours' if needed.

I put my inheritance mainly into a house upgrade, small amounts part funded a holiday, car deposits, etc. so it's gone, gone, gone. Hers isn't due for some time as her parents are in relatively rude health.

[Muzzer79]

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

I always thought that wasn't the case?

[MYOB]

Muzzer79 said:

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

I always thought that wasn't the case?

It wasn't in my case! Everything I owned was considered, even down to my collection of watches.

[hyphen]

MYOB said:

Muzzer79 said:

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

I always thought that wasn't the case?

It wasn't in my case! Everything I owned was considered, even down to my collection of watches.

I think the starting point is that everything is to be declared. Then if one part feels something should be treated as exceptional then they need to make a case for it?

[The spinner of plates]

MYOB said:

Muzzer79 said:

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

I always thought that wasn't the case?

It wasn't in my case! Everything I owned was considered, even down to my collection of watches.

My understanding is the start point is anything owned or owed by either person when married is considered marital.

[BlackStang5point0]

mjb1 said:

The only slight sticking point where we don't see eye to eye is the behaviour of her kids - they're a bit out of control/lacking discipline, to the extent of being pretty obnoxious. She excuses their behaviour, putting it down to adhd and autism. I try my best to keep out of it, but it's the main reason I couldn't see us living together until the kids are grown up.

Yes I can empathise with all of that and agree the best course of action is to stay out of it and not get involved.

[CaptainSlow]

Muzzer79 said:

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

I always thought that wasn't the case?

We're talking about inheritances.

[prand]

Dashnine said:

I put my inheritance mainly into a house upgrade, small amounts part funded a holiday, car deposits, etc. so it's gone, gone, gone.
Hers isn't due for some time as her parents are in relatively rude health.

I admire your approach to financial management but that comment in bold jars a bit...

[The spinner of plates]

BlackStang5point0 said:

mjb1 said:

The only slight sticking point where we don't see eye to eye is the behaviour of her kids - they're a bit out of control/lacking discipline, to the extent of being pretty obnoxious. She excuses their behaviour, putting it down to adhd and autism. I try my best to keep out of it, but it's the main reason I couldn't see us living together until the kids are grown up.

Yes I can empathise with all of that and agree the best course of action is to stay out of it and not get involved.

Likewise.
I think that's why I'm happier with 'dating' rather than progressing into a 'relationship'.

I already know it'll be the downfall of my current situationship, but... it is what it is. I just don't want it enough.

Nights out / nights in when we both don't have kids - yup.

Going on a joint trip to Thorpe Park / watching you and your daughter argue about homework on a rainy Sunday afternoon whilst I drink a cup of tea feeling awkward doing some light DIY for you..
Ultimately no. I'd rather being doing my own thing and leave you to do yours on that level.

Flipside is I never expect her to get involved in my kids / domestic stuff.

[Psycho Warren]

Muzzer79 said:

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

In most cases one or the other partner will have emptied any cash out of any accounts during the break up, usually without the other knowing. Therefore by the time the divorce comes round there is no cash asset left to split up

[Muzzer79]

Psycho Warren said:

Muzzer79 said:

For clarity here, are we saying that any cash in a personal savings account is not regarded as a marital asset?

In most cases one or the other partner will have emptied any cash out of any accounts during the break up, usually without the other knowing. Therefore by the time the divorce comes round there is no cash asset left to split up

OK, emptied it to where?

e.g If i have a personal account with £100k in it, where would I empty that to?

(I don't and I don't need/want to, genuinely just curious!)

[Gargamel]

Muzzer79 said:

OK, emptied it to where?

e.g If i have a personal account with £100k in it, where would I empty that to?

(I don't and I don't need/want to, genuinely just curious!)

For 100k you could open an offshore account in Gib, Malta, Cyprus, Isle of Man or any number of places, or have an intermediate do it for you.

Depends if the objective is to prevent the other half from access, or do you intend (for example) to not declare it as an asset in any future disclosure. Post Brexit, almost any European Bank account (non UK) is unlikely to be discovered but you would still be lying.

Two very different things. To be genuinely able to answer the form on disclosure of assets, then it has to be out of your control, eg a trust fund for the kids, or placed with a trusted relative / friend. I know there are some constructions whereby you become an ‘investor’ in a business but legally you have spent the money. Then after a certain period of time you might* get capital plus interest back. But these cost money and expensive lawyers to construct.

• guaranteed

[hyphen]

Muzzer79 said:

OK, emptied it to where?

e.g If i have a personal account with £100k in it, where would I empty that to?

(I don't and I don't need/want to, genuinely just curious!)

Could only really be done if was planned ahead of time. As when you come to Court for Financials, you have to disclose 12 months worth of financial documents.

So one would need to have been planning years in advance, as otherwise it's known that this sum of money existed, and the lawyers of the other-side will raise it.

If the money is known to have existed, then either it is recoverable or spent. So if that £100k was spent on a fully specced range rover, than that value of the vehicle will be taken into account (be it at the price purchased, or at the depreciated current value). Or if splunked gambling in Las Vegas, then the Court may decide it's hidden/malicious spent and split the assets to rectify the balance.

Edited by hyphen on Friday 5th March 12:17

[Psycho Warren]

I wasnt thinking of massive quantities but tens of thousands which can be easily disappeared and used to fund a cushy new lifestyle when you run off leaving the ex with empty accounts and a load of debt. Happens a lot, the ex gets home, finds the partner missing in action and all the easy access money gone never to be seen again. Especially easy with joint account access.

[FNG]

Come on. It's PH. Buy an appreciating classic car, store it off the books, sell once the dust has settled.

Hypothetical of course, but if you can get the cash out of an account to another account not in your name...

I've also heard of women saying they get 50 quid cashback every time they go shopping - and suddenly seem to be shopping twice a day not once a week - to get a store of cash together off the books.

As an aside, my mum spent most of her married life wishing she'd not married my dad (he's no angel and can be hard work, but he's nothing like as bad as she is). When his pension lump sum came in, to add to a big lump of cash in the bank from selling off the paddock associated with the house, she spent the lot on a new house and moved out. Then told him while they were on holiday in Australia that she was moving out when they got back.

Note - only moved once she was able to fund it from joint money and wouldn't need to work to support herself. Had him get the marital home ready for sale (took him a year) then took half, and half his pension. The marriage was in st state for two decades before this all happened, but she was able to bide her time (while being a lady of leisure the whole time) til it all fell into place.

Don't underestimate etc.

[av185]

Exactly.

All this full and frank disclosure is largely bks and assumes every other halfs solictor is a forensic accountant in tune with all aspects lol. Also assumes every case goes to Court and isn't settled amicably between the trusting partners both of which will in most cases have secret stashes and have been so doing for years leading up to the split.

Very rare that any assets are subsequently revealed post divorce and only in huge wealthy couple cases will the Court if applicable come down hard on the partner who failed to make total disclosure.

[Psycho Warren]

I guess she hid the assets as surely hed of had half a stake in her house too?

[BFleming]

I have a friend who works on tracking proceeds of crime. It is incredibly difficult to make money disappear so that a) it's disappearance isn't noticeable, and b) it stays invisible. If one party in a divorce thinks that money has disappeared from their sight on purpose, it can be traced.

[Psycho Warren]

I think its a case of in reality who actually would pay out the money and go the effort of having it traced? Thats why so many online fraudsters get away with what they do as often there is no desire to spend a lot of money doing forensic accounting to trace such funds for minor crimes or in these cases a divorce settlement when the money is gone and not coming back.

[Wombat3]

Psycho Warren said:

I wasnt thinking of massive quantities but tens of thousands which can be easily disappeared and used to fund a cushy new lifestyle when you run off leaving the ex with empty accounts and a load of debt. Happens a lot, the ex gets home, finds the partner missing in action and all the easy access money gone never to be seen again. Especially easy with joint account access.

I had to move a few things around into safe keeping when I got wind of what was coming.

Nothing hidden, nothing disappeared, just moved out of reach for safe keeping temporarily & then ultimately all accounted for & split equitably.

It didn't go down very well when I did it & then also cancelled her additional/joint credit card on my account.

Always makes sense to be vigilant